Year-round Yuletide oddities
Actual country music is much like folk music, hard living, hard loving, hard hardness. But more violins.
The Corn Fed Girls focus on that detail (those “Christmas Cards”) posted on your wall, which stands for something sad (and angry), so shove off. (But with a sweet mandolin sendoff.) And that’s country.
Finishing off that wrapping job on your Xmas gift? Some ribbons, praps?
Kacey Musgraves actually doesn’t need “Ribbons and Bows,” but can’t keep pop rocking about them. Talented vocals.
Jessica and Eddie Harrison (feat. Donna Beaurais) also miss the point with “Christmas Ribbons,” singing instead about family and love and carrying on.
Also stretching our theme, Trent Holloway sings “Blue Ribbon Christmas,” alluding to the PBRs he’s gonna pack away since you left him. Bluesy country cryin’.
Hank Thompson and the Brazos Valley Boys is going cheap this year, ‘cuz he’s gonna “Wrap My Heart in Ribbons” for you this Christmas. It is the most he can give. Gentle country swing is the least he can do.
Let’s be honest. What’s the Christmas tree but a delivery system for gifts?
Don’t get your hopes up. The generic “Treats Under the Christmas Tree” are an excuse for The Mallon Tones to idealize their childhood. For rockabilly punk that’s progress.
Gringos Fate sing about “Christmas,” but it’s mostly about what will get put under that dressed up tree. Monstrously good below the border ‘billy.
Hyper jazz from Simon Strauß (Pachelbel influenced) excited for the presents and decorations and everything underneath our “Christmas Tree.” Children’s hope for world peace though really.
Comedy intermission: Joel Kopischke (i’ve already said) goes “Under the Tree” to the tune of ‘Under the Sea.’ He has the presents of mine to go full lounge lizard. Hah!
Sink or Swim want something good, better, worthwhile. They lightly metal their message to their “Christmas Tree” to get a decent present. Fun times, guys.
Too Much Joy act out an entire romcom with invasion rock styling for “Ruby Left a Present Underneath the Christmas Tree.” Might be a book… doesn’t matter. It’s from her.
Dave Rave & Rick Andrew rockabilly the quandry of what to put “Underneath My Baby’s Christmas Tree.” It’s a fun figuring, and suggestive of muchas smooches to boot.
Rockabilly for “Rockabilly Christmas Tree” from Al Hendrix and Jimmy Accardi. He gets it all: pomade, blue suede shoes, a Cadillac…. man oh man.
Poor folk don’t get much under the “Christmas Tree.” If they’re good they tremble in song about how they should give away what paltry bit they do get to another sufferer–even a piece of pie! Gospel folk from Significant Others makes this sacrifice a family legend.
Most of the romance around the Christmas tree has been noted elsewhere, but Chris Zindie ‘s chanty odd folk “All I Want Under the Christmas Tree” describes a gift that’s big and heavy (it’s you). I wanted the poor guy to escape the notice of the romantic police, ’cause he’s in trouble for his fun little song.
Funnyman Rodney Carrington tries on big band swing for “The Presents Under the Tree (Better be for Me).” He does care what he gets, and he’s a bit judgy.
Specialize your tree with individual ornamentation. Fly your freak flag!
Rocking it, The Breezeway tell you the story of “The Ol’ Ornament 2014” from the bauble’s point of view. It’s whining, of course–about where it got put, on the backside. Kinda cool song.
Or just hang “Flags on the Christmas Tree” to honor the fallen, like Jesus. Leland Martin leans into that weepy fiddle to tug at your patriotic bone.
Just as redneck, Robin and Linda Williams folk up a storm with “Shotgun Shells on a Christmas Tree.” Um, it was ‘cuz they were poor, and the shells were red… for Christmas.
Kate Osburn has a different approach: grandchildren photos glued into handmade paper cutouts to “Decorate the Tree,” a strangely sultry and seductive jazz siren crooning tune.
More traditionally, Danny and Cindy Schneider go ’60s folk rock with “Candy Canes on the Tree.” Sweet!
“Nerdy Christmas Tree” from Losing Lara challenges you to reconsider the tree as a collection delivery system. Rocking folk.
One ‘ornament’ you might not have considered is the Christmas tree train that got laid out on the floor all the way around. Artese N Toad wring their hankies over “Daddy’s Old Train box 2007.” Then Schnitzel honky tonks “Christmas Tree Train” just right.
We’ll deal with Xmas personifications a bit later. But that deep-rooted desire to be taken home is systemic from limb to limb throughout the thicket…
Perhaps the songs should say it for them:
Certainly Stevie Wonder makes the case with “One Little Christmas Tree.” This ’67 R+B tear jerker involves a whole tree family and some extra angel granting wishes. Ooooh, aaaah. (Countrified by Jennifer Lind.)
Marty Merchant chortles out a kids’ song country pop weeper, “Lonely Christmas Tree.” Desperate, needy, dying little thing.
Parry Gripp goes imaginatively, juvenilely delusional with “Christmas Tree in the Lot.” Some kid sleeps with one eye on the window watching the tree for sale across the street. Is that tree lonely, just like him? No, it’s dead, but in a cool folk-song way.
The original was delivered on John Denver’s 1974 album Back Home Again… the live version on his 1975 album An Evening with John Denver–released as a single and went to No. 1 on both the Billboard magazine Hot Country Singles and Billboard Hot 100 charts… topped both charts for one week each, first the country chart (on May 31), and the Hot 100 chart a week later… one of six songs released in 1975 that topped both the Billboard Hot 100 and Billboard Hot Country Singles charts.
[digressive shout out to hardcore parodist and Italian guitar banger Il Magico Mitico Ale who churned out a couple dozen parodeus-es to–mostly Italian aria–songs in ’16. Many are unintelligible and forced, but his whimsical take on “Take Me Home, Country Roads” the ’71 Denver #2 hit stands out.]
Now make room for Jolly Joel Kopishke to show you a true Santa believer in “Thank God I’m a Santa Boy.”
Duh.
Granted most E-impersonators’d rather cover ‘Blue,’ a few have tried on the swivel hips for Xmas songs he never sung.
Steve King and Planetdance Elves attempt to raise the geriatric with “Mistletoe and Wine.” Not a standard yule number, but it smells like Vegas. A-huh.
Many other auteurs have brand new songs that swing and sway like rockabilly, which attracts a certain sneer, and well, Elvis just comes natch’ally. (Most of these have been categorized before; most of these bear repeats.)
Johnny Earle’s “Mistletoe Rock” does indeed rock. It sounds almost accidentally Elvis.
Dennis Kolb casually channels Mr. Graceland with “Christmas Stockin‘.” It’s a 6 on the e-meter.
Dave Rudolf conjures the Pelvis with “Fruitcakes for Christmas” with a sly arrogance. What’s that smell?
Shakin’ Stevens has a worthy heir to the Tupelo Tornado. though it share more genes with Ricky Nelson. “Rockin’ Little Christmas” deserves air time.
Kerr Donnelly Band really mush mouths it with “Rockin’ into Christmas.” Give them an audience with the King.
Professional impersonator Ryan Perry has delivered on our promise: an original Elvis Christmas song in his style to honor his legacy. It’s okay. “Merry Christmas, My Love.”
Now that we’ve treated the musicians who have treated us, take a cue from that last magnificent number and honor the images from our TVs and screens: the real stars of the American scene: actors.
Marion Mitchell Morrison was an instant movie star after nearly ten years of work. He headlined westerns through the ’40s, ’50s, and ’60s, eventually falling into an old man icon in TV skits in time for the counter culture to reject him as The Man. In retrospect he stands tall in the saddle, a American hero who’d rather explain it to you with his fists than his mumbling.
Rebecca Perschbacher sings “I Want John Wayne for Christmas” as a true fan.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOffeiKXqsc
J.R. Cash grew up in the Great Depression and his hard living helped inform country music of today. All the morass of tragedy and heartbreak in CW songs from the ’60s on come largely from his trembling hound dog sorrowful baritone. All 90 million albums.
Jamie Cooper warbles and warps previous Cash songs to mash up “Merry Christmas to You (How the Spirit of Johnny Cash Helped Santa).” It’s a barn burner of a mess and i slowed down to watch it all. (Is there some Bob Dylan in there too–or Cash’s take on Dylan?!
I don’t believe Elvis Aaron Presley needs introduction.
Christmas songs ABOUT Elvis get a corner here:
The Christmas Pranksters belabor “The First No-Elvis” to remind the kids of the King.
Bob Rivers snarks one in with a Binging “There’s a Santa Who Looks a Lot Like Elvis.” That’s where he went!
More contemporaneously are the dedications to Elvis:
Mad Milo twerks the DJ comedy (just like Buchanan & Goodman) sampling rock singles in a mock interview bit “Elvis for Xmas.” I guess this comedy stuff is not as easy as it looks.
Eddie Cochran and the Holly Twins twist and shout “I Want Elvis for Christmas.” (Blog repeat!)
Several other torch singers oopeedoo “I Want to Spend Christmas with Elvis” including Little Lambsie Penn, Debbie Dabney (or is that Marlene Paula? Yeah, Paula’s her stage name!), and the updated Stella Jones and some other unnamed coconspirator.
Michele Cody gets sad and lonely (and creepy) with “Merry Christmas Elvis.” This nine-year-old is terminal and praying to sing with dead Elvis in heaven. (Although she does more talking than singing.) Eeek!