Baby It’s Cold: 1953 charcoal ‘n chalk

The fusion of black doo wop and country swing hasn’t quite happened to make bona fide rock ‘n’ roll yet. So let’s check out the unsegregated part of town. It’s pretty swell.

One of the biggest deals in music overall, and a hugely successful ‘crossover’ to the white side of the music world, Louis Armstrong, churned out hits in the ’20s and ’30s. By 1953 his “Christmas Night in Harlem” and “Cool Yule” are nice enough tunes by that old guy.

For those who dig their blues unadulterated with that fancy jazz syncopation, Lightning Hopkins tears himself up for “Merry Christmas.” Damn. Look out, whites.

Phil Moore was a movie studio style acceptable black man. His Phil Moore Four had that ‘in’ and were able to keep from bleaching their sound, yet play to everyone. “The Blink Before Christmas,” b/w “Chinchy Old Scrooge” lay down the black and raise up the Beat (Generation). Xmas don’t get much cooler.

The most acceptable black man in music, Nat King Cole, plays it completely mainstream with “The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot” (featured in the documentary ‘Jingle Bell Rocks‘) (Flipside “Mrs. Santa Claus“). Poor may be read as code for black, but with NKC race is hardly an issue.

Here on the cusp of rock ‘n’ roll, we simply must give doo wop its due. 1953 is early in the meteoric rise of The Moonglows to pop iconography. Still covering Doris Day and the McGuire Sisters, they slip in some danceable yule tunes:  “Just a Lonely Christmas” and–it should be on everyone’s top twenty of happenin’ Santa songs–“Hey Santa Claus.” Dig THAT.

Country music generally recycles holiday standards tried and true from the previous decade (or century). But as we approach nascent RnR, and rockabilly is nearing the middle class, young and old are hearkening to Nashville’s original noises.

Korean War soldier Faron Young took over, when Eddie Fisher was discharged, as Army pop songster. His yodeling honky tonkin’ “You’re the Angel on My Christmas Tree” was recorded before his discharge a year later. Smooth and sultry.

Standing up for The Grand Ole Opry, Red Foley puts cowboy range (not quite a yodel up and down the octaves) with “Put Christ Back into Christmas.” Hey, it’s not just the 21st Century that disregards religious sanctity!

But, if you want to hear rock ‘n’ roll about to happen, check out Hank Snow with “The Reindeer Boogie.” The Yodeling Ranger clawed his way up to Nashville from Nova Scotia (steer clear of his horrific bio if you can) and has been credited with putting Elvis on that stage. Get your fast dancing shoes on.

Died. You’re Welcome: deer (3)

Overlooked Kentuckian folk singer Chuck Picklesimer has a killer Christmas album all lovers of novelty must seek out: Dead Ninja Christmas.

Words not do him right good. You gotta hear him to believe him. When you pair his word salad with this ADHD video cobbled together by his own talented hands, however, it’s Katie, bar the door!

Died. Your Welcome: deer (2)

Not every traffic mishap has an unhappy ending.

The Road Kill Band are sad dads (still with the dream of a band) (playing for ungrateful drunks at the American Legion Hall). They don’t actually kill the deer they run over (in song) but wish they had in “Road Kill Christmas.”
Good listen.

Died. You’re Welcome: the stress (2)

Now there was a cool novelty ’60s downer by the Everly Brothers that i noted last Christmas Eve. Hate to repeat myself…

Technically i don’t if i mention the same song by Dawn McCarthy and Bonny “Prince” Billy; except they basically mimic it.

American Mars get damn folked with this tune as well, channeling Dylan. Still too close.

But Trucker Christmas featuring Dominik Plangger & Claudia Fenzl countrify this maudlin melody putting it to work for the lonely sixteen-wheelers everywhere on that special night. Ladies and generic men, “Christmas Eve Can Kill You.” Damn, boy.

BLUE ALERT: the s word (10)

Saved the best shit for last. Red Peters is often as funny as an Asperger’s ridden 1960s burlesque emcee. But his psychological passive-aggressive pastiche of Walter Brennan (you don’t have to suffer through the original tear-jerking tune) dealing with ungrateful grown kids at Christmas is a hoot and a holler and a half.

Please enjoy “You Ain’t Gettin’ Shit for Christmas.” It’s funny. I shit you not.

BLUE ALERT: the s word (8)

Don’t forget now, we’re locking elbows with the lowest common denominators of society: the profane. Life is terrible. What’re ya gonna do? Curse!

So watch down your nose Wish Crosby and Flo Murphy getting their Christmas from the Family on with “Shitty Shaggin’ Christmas.” They’re a regular Archie and Edith bunker three rungs down the trailer park.

 

The Future: Robots (2)

The big star in Santa Robots is from the Matt Groening cartoon Futurama. Despite the show’s musicality, however, there’s no good santa-is-a-robot song from the series.

So here’s Bear Ron’s tribute to the show’s murderous Kringle: “Sci Fi Santa.” It’s got that unplugged end-of-the-world country music feel to it. (Not sure why robo-claus needs a robo-pup, though.)

State Forty-Four: Arizona

FIFTY DAYS OF ‘MERICA-MAS
Well, i can’t find any Grand Canyon sized Nativity scenes sung about for the AZ, so let’s settle for hokey-folk.
The White Family (Mr. and Mrs. White, and White Jr.) melodize all your favorites for “2010’s Another White Christmas (In Arizona).” It’s a break from all the oddities i’ve collected to watch a home movie of Arizonians play-acting for all their friends. Okay, that’s pretty odd, too. Maybe not.
Vic Sorrell is included in Christmas Across America with “The Gift of Arizona.” This is corrido-style, all spiritually sad and didn’t-get-what-he-wanted-for-Xmas-Eve-from-Mexico (it was love).
While we’re on the subject of the neighbor to the south, let’s give a careful listen to “Christmas Time in Arizona” by Aaron Parr & the Hereford Boys. Hey look, the border patrol checks out Santa! I guess AZ identifies with illegales so much that the whole state celebrates the holidays with official papers, not xmas cards. With such an insistent guitar beat and campfire hoarse harmony, it’s hard to judge how humorous this is supposed to be. Are hot dogs and pie traditional yule fare down there?

State Thirty-Nine: Wyoming

FIFTY DAYS OF ‘MERICA-MAS
The Equality State says nothing more to me than solid rock at mountainous altitudes where no one should be expected to survive. Like Santa.
But if you wanna get all hand-holdy and Kumbaya i suggest you listen to “Wyoming Winter Wonderland” by Dan Schafer (from his wonderful Christmas Across America collection). The unconcerned banjo plinkling in the background, the group harmony like it’s an Old Navy ad, the metaphorical weather observations… it’s that late in the party drowsy sensation. Netflix up the “Charlie Brown” somebody!
I’m confused by the inappropriately light-hearted “Free Frosty (From Wyoming)” by Amie Vandevrie. It posits that unless our famous mobile molded snowman leaves cowboy country, he’ll melt. You mean like it’s warmer in New England? And don’t get me started on the “dance version” embedded in this song. I’m not ready to rave over Frosty’s remains.
I’ll settle for a nice quiet fireside reflection on the season with “Wyoming Christmas” by John A McCallum. This Canadian cowboy complained he ran out of songs he liked to play, so he started writing. It was because of that love for music that he named his Youtube channel “Tune Smitten.” A homegrown British Colombian boy he credits the sound of ‘Cheyenne, Wyoming’ as the inspiration for this pretty winter romance: “no time to be alone.” Bonus for lyrics included in the video. It’s like a little gift for me.