Author: douglove1225

You Auto Have a Merry Christmas: truckmas-3

Comfortable with the culture of the truck, are we? Then let’s meet Trucker Santa.

Half country half comedy, nasal folk reciter Grandpa Griffith drives home his point that truckers and Santa have it hard with “Santa was a Trucker.” Bummer denouement (with baby cries), Fairly good road song.

Rob Ervin & The High Strung Lifters country rock “Santa Drives a Truck.” This is a crowd pleasing piece of sing-a-long.

Uh oh, punk crosses into country with Swank out of Vancouver, B.C. “Trucker Santa” has to be heard to be believed, if not deciphered.

Beating out the country tunes by a back roads mile, Erich McMann’s drivin’ rockabilly “Santa Was a Trucker” is simple, hypnotic, and frankly groovy.

You Auto Have a Merry Christmas: truckmas-2

While we’re visiting the late ’70s let’s cash in on the Citizens’ Band radio chatter. Santa moves his toys like Freightliner, surely he must need to hail a fellow highwayman.

Robert and Patrick Conti rattle on roackabilly style with their “CB Christmas.” Lesson: trust a trucker.

Richard Gillis rolls on quaint country rock with his “CB Santa Claus.” Lesson here: trust all truckers; it takes a convoy.

Big Jim and the Goodbuddies lay it on heehaw thick with their “CB Santa.” Lesson [i guess]: country folks are funny–laugh away.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SI-BmHiX3J8

You Auto Have a Merry Christmas: trucksmas-1

18-wheelers are to cars what space shuttles are to piper cubs. But let’s allow them right of way here because there’s a semi-full of cool Christmas songs about truckin’.

I’ll start out with the heat. ‘Convoy’ was a song from the ’70s and got many a cover and reinterpretation, including today’s “Christmas Convoy.” Paul Brandt goes Morning Zoo with sfx and overly dramatic line readings for his. I prefer Mike Austin’s tribute to CW McCall’s gigantic country crossover hit (how many songs get movies made about them?). 12-25, good buddy.

You Auto Have a Merry Christmas: model-7

Well, a truck is a power-hungry, overdeveloped, oft redneck form of car, so let’s take a hillbilly minute to consider the pickup (before we get to proper truckin’).

Average Joe’s Muddy Christmas is a my-tee-fine pop country album for the holidays. So we’ll get in that truck with our hunney and have a “Muddy Christmas” care of Lenny Cooper. Nasty boy.

First of all, we need to establish why Santa should trade in his magic sleigh for some 4 x 4. Alan Jackson explains (to some suspiciously familiar rodents) why “Santa’s Gonna Come in a Pickup Truck.” Well, then how’s he gonna deliver my Humvee? (Okay Red Simpson did the pickin’ and grinnin’ better back in 1973. Love the outro.)

Foster Martin Brand, on the other hand, insists that “Santa Don’t Drive No Pick-Up Truck” made by Ford or Chevrolet. I don’t know what the hell is going on here, but the House of UnAmerican Activities Committee needs to look into this.

Fortunately The Lacs saw “Santa in a 4-Wheel Drive.” That should straighten everything out. But, as they are good ol’ bubba country posters’, they might have been mistaken/drunk.

Paul Michael Gross is a television developer and actor (Due South), but he also shares with us his love of country cliches in “Santa Drives a Pickup.” (In this case a ’67 Ford.)

You Auto Have a Merry Christmas: model-6

Classic Comedy (read Dr. Demento approved) may not belong on this blog; it’s too well known. But a guy can get nostalgic, no? So those wild and crazy Upper Peninsula Micheganiks, Da Yoopers, present their official video (with the unearthing and winter sports–including WEEE! shovel sledding) of “Rusty Chevrolet.” It seems as old as Yogi Yorgeson, but it’s only as genre-tastic (1987 vs. 1949).

You Auto Have a Merry Christmas: model-3

Little Joey Farr, i think, is that special brand of kooky kid/amazing voice combo that we saw in the ’50s with Barry Gordy and Brenda Lee. Rockabilly loves that jivin’ jailbait. And i think it’s a her, but the internet has been great at guarding Little Joey’s privacy.

Asking Santa for “A Big White Cadillac for Christmas” for Mama might seem foolish or redneck, but this is probably based on Elvis Presley’s generosity: even by the late ’50s The King was giving away Cadillacs more than Oprah. It’s a significant and swingin’ status symbol, o cool ones and twos.

You Auto Have a Merry Christmas: model-2

Patti Jo-Roth Edwards is one of those singer songwriters who can’t help herself. She writes, she sings, she records and posts.

I’m not saying she’s any good. She just gotta sing.

It’s a mistake, for example, to twist out a rocking tune like “Santa Drives a Candy Apple Red Cadillac” unplugged and dogged. Her mush mouthing the lyrics is fine, but her Judy Collins women’s folk coloring outside the lines belies the hella good time promised by the story. Hmmm. Cadillacs deserve something more urban.

You Auto Have a Merry Christmas: model-1

Some cars are hotter than others. Joyriders tend not to help themselves to Kias. So, while leaving the wild world of the hot rod, let us consider some specific hot cars that Santa might straddle.

Muscle cars could do well. So here comes the cross gender tribute band from ‘cross the Atlantic, The Ramonas, with “Santa’s Got a GTO.” It’s more nostalgic punk than hard screechin’ punk.