Year-round Yuletide oddities
Quality Kidd locks on to a def beat and stays there for studio electronica “Ski Resort.” This works as backdrop for some tense dramaturgy.
Dullfenita tickles the solenoids for the electronica “Skiing.” The powder is like percussive, bro.
Experimental alt-jazz from Thunted Hex slices and dices lyrics and hunger sounds for “Up on the Ski Slope.” I’m so confused.
Outsider Joye Bell asks “Let’s Go Skiing.” This fun proclamation skirts Motown and pop and becomes it’s own rocking thang. I’m ready.
Kicky garage pop from Winter Vacation wonders about the fun “On a Ski Slope.” You may wonder as well. Or listen. Both are fun.
Piamini’s “Skiing” features quiet noodling on an electronic keyboard–on a loop, with an occasional Hey. Hypnotic lo-fi.
Funnier, for an instrumental, Arne Hanson & The Guitarspellers romp through the big band polka of “Ski” just for mogul merriment. Hee hee.
The Invitations wax their slats with soul for “Skiing in the Snow” The funk power and a tom-tom beat shreds the hills. 1966 Motown. [Oops, looks like The Beach Girls may have dropped this first.]
Excellent surf rock from Suffering Fools tells the tale of “Santa’s Going Skiing.” It’s strictly recreational. Though he is a master.
Paul Kopetko’s “Skiing Yeti Mountain” is background music for the 16-bit video game. It’s an electronic throwback to the ’80s. Tubular.
Dan Reeder’s “Skiing Song” is supposed to be a song about skiing, but his existential blues distract the message. Lovely gentle folk. About Skiing. Sort of.
Frank Yankovic reels us back with ski poles-ka (doesn’t quite work, does it?) in the hoot and a half “Let’s Go Skiing.” Step-by-step accordion supervision.
“I Lost All My Hair in a Skiing Accident” says it all. Trencher’s odd child-friendly metal punk piece is shorter than the title. But still rages.
Andorran music-maker Arinsal may know something about “Skiing Sessions.” But his Bossa nova beat instrumental suggests heat more than slaloming.
There’s a ‘Jingle Bells’ parody going around–“Broken Skis“–that’s as basic as novelty gets. But it’s fun to inflict it on others, so here you go. Oh, and Amber Waves Band brings it us with bluegrass. Almost makes up for the earnest original carol belted out after the funniness.
Skiing (my favorite word with a double i) probably predates skating. But like most cool European inventions, it may have originated in China (i’m looking at you, notebooks of daVinci). This is not a backyard/neighborhood activity, like sledding. You won’t see Charlie Brown schussing in the cartoons. Which means… these songs don’t exactly spring out of the snowbank. I ask you to make some allowances.
Perhaps you’re familiar with “It Happened in Sun Valley,” a lovers’ meet-cute on the Idahoan slopes originated by the Glen Miller Band (feat. Paula Kelly, Ray Eberle, Tex Beneke and The Modernaires) from the motion picture ‘Sun Valley Serenade.’ For all that, it comes off as the documentarian or forensic analysis of some rom-com. South Park does an irreverent big band update.
To help pad my month of interesting Xmas/wintertime tunes, i may finally stoop to lyric-less instrumentals–provided they got class out the ass. F’rexample, Al Caiola & Riz Ortolani’s “Holiday On Skis” is just the right blend of electric jazz guitar and batch’ pad cool.
The novelty gold comes from R. Wyly with poor sound and VHS striations: the wry funky folk of “Skiing for Jesus.” Xmas adjacent.
Joyce Manor can’t go wrong on “These Kind of Ice Skates.” Or can they? Hard garage. So just quit.
New Lenox is ready to quit as well. It’s that last moment with here, on the frozen lake, with the parents’ borrowed “Ice Skates.” Then we hear cracking. Powerful alt.
Angry and BLUE ALERT OK Cool doesn’t want any part of this exercise, bc “I Can’t Stand in Ice Skates.” Bitching alt to bring us to a close.
.Icky got a boothang who loves my music and figure skates to me rappin’. That’s “Winter Love” y’all. I mean he’s enunciating and like that.
“Ice Skates or…” is a thought game about breaking with the world. Skating will lead you away i guess. Sorry Snowman gets all indie and alt about it. Stay away.
Jazzy Ash envisions a lazy day on her “Ice Skates.” How lazy? Saxophone lazy! Alt fun. (& scat!)
Tanya Rivera doesn’t want you to break her “Candy Cane Heart.” So, her pop music instructions include drinking, skating, and dating. Then, love. By the book.
“The New Ice Skates” carry her away. He knows she’s leaving so, at least in the Faint Lights alt folk song, buys her a mode of transpo. For when it’s cold enough.
Joni Mitchell’s second most covered song is the anti-Christmas folk mopery “River.” She wishes she had a river she could skate away on… See ya! (Okay, beautiful song, beautifully sung–but, wotta bummer.)
Henny Queenz gets a second chance with her rapped “Christmas Season.” I mean she suggests read a book. Is that a new theme for me to build a month of Xmas songs around, or what?!
“Worn Out Skates” may not feature any skating, but lots of heartbreak. Heavy strings in alt pop makes Happy Heartbreak all that and a bag of tissues.
Jada is so in love she’s skating on a cloud. Her “Christmas Love” is checking, decorating, and making snow angels in the driveway. Really loud soul.
Trying to make it through this snowy “Time of Year” Gabriel Gassi raps and R+Bs about skating on thin ice with you. Listen, gurl, you’ve got ’til the end of the song to change your mind.
Guess it’s more like a dirge than a carol, concludes Brittany Ann Tranbaugh in sassy country pop that deals with a breakup. There’ll be no skating, now. And “The Christmas Flannel” shirt she got YOU–she’s keeping that. Nice coping mechanism! Great tune.
Francis Blume half yodels, half warbles through the old timey country trembler “For the Holidays.” He wants to kiss you! He likes spending time with you: Like the time that we went ice skating drunk and you slipped and nearly broke your Ask me what I’m doing for the Holidays. Ask him!