Year-round Yuletide oddities
Don’t forget to get all judgey and say boo to booze for Christmas night. Alcohol is bad and kills after all.
Paul Hipp name calls with “Merry Christmas (You’re a Drunk).” He draws lines and names signs. Folk songs come from hurting.
Big band jazz, however, makes the worst humanity glamorous. “No One Likes a Drunk on Christmas Day” especially by Caldwell/Denig/Brinsfield lightens the gloom and doom while wagging the finger at the object of our scorn.
The morning after looms: regret, regurge stains, remembering–not so much.
Merely passing out is one affliction suffered after “Another Drunk Christmas Carol,” a lovely homemade metal bit of play from Death Before Sophistication. I don’t feel so good.
Aftermaths of Christmas drinking include Clashing Plaid with “All I Got for Christmas was Drunk,” a rocking rant that shines with head splitting pride.
Jim Bachmann snarls with country peevishness (and country punnery) for “All I Got for Christmas was Drunk.” He’s picking but not grinning while the world celebrates without him. Poor boy.
Better Off Dead slow down the rhythm with”All I Got for Christmas was Drunk.” But they stay together for some banging light rock melody. All together now.
Sots sup! Or they lap, toss, bib, quaff–you know. Hard drinkers don’t need an excuse to drink. But Xmas is the reason for the saucing, if there ever were one.
So here’s to the boozehounds! We should laugh at them! Go ahead, you have permission.
The New Wave of Swedish Celtic Punk may have begun with Finnegan’s Hell. Their “Drunken Christmas” toasts and toasts and toasts until roasted. Beware their video: neglected children, wasted pregnancy, and punched Santas are not the worst of it.
Swallowing his lyrics and BLUE ALERT swearing up a storm, UZ Worm swaps out ‘Holly Jolly’ for “Alcoholic Christmas.” Silly old sot.
Grayson Walker and J McLaughlin cut a jig in their “Christmas Alcoholic” ruining the yuletides for all but those who wish to laugh and point. It’s pop lounge with a dash of oompah. He ho ha, lookit that.
Jack Kuper has a festive number “An Alcoholic Christmas,” which not only explains how to get high as a kite, but adds footnotes, marginalia, and popups to decorate this bouncy fun little number. Partake!
Alcoholics have to make nice, or at least spew the other direction, during the holidays.
Uncle John brings the Christmas miracle in The Mcdrinkers’ “Drunk on Christmas.” Celtic punk has cobblestone cred. And the boys do indeed rock.
Melancholic becomes the mindset of the mostly muzzy, as evinced by Michael C. Pearson in “My Beerdrunk Soul Is Sadder Than All the Dead Christmas Trees of the World.” It’s unplugged psychedelia, haunting and hurting.
King Automatic and Rich Deluxe jam some surf guitar into their crooning carol “Stay Drunk at Christmas.” It lends a secret agent vibe to an odd mix of Scary Father Christmas footage among the hard living Gauls and Deutsche in the ’60s. Dipsomania seems the norm, sad to say.
The full drunk is like the full sleep, you never feel that moment of slip into surrender. But you’ll know later.
For now the songs are loud and uninhibited.
The Bob and Tom Band make parody of ‘Winter Wonderland’ a la Dudley Moore’s ‘Arthur’ character with the drunk sounding “It’s Christmas and I Wonder Where I Am.” This is Dr. Demento approved humor, so i like it too.
If you call cool cool rockabilly uninhibited (i do). “Drunk on Christmas” by Overgrown RocknRoll might be an exception, as drunk here refers to a giddy glee Brough on by the joyous time of the year–hell, just dance.
Government Zero bellows “Drunk for Christmas” with a few expletives and plenty of synonymy for drunk (including today’s word). It’s roiling Brit rock with punk bitters, that’s what that is.
Cruddy Pants the Clown gets reflective, if not in tune, with “The Little Clown is Drunk Again” purportedly about his own sick self. It’s an humble parody of ‘Little Town’ with disgusting consequences. Underplayed is the best i can call it.
Brent Burns, a parrothead humorist, details his confessional “I Got Drunk at the Office Christmas Party” sounding half in the bag while singing. It’s half Hawaiian slack key, half party oompah, but mostly queasy.
Most Christmas drinking goes right for the gusto, full mental jacked-up.
But at least one little ditty or two can remember what it’s like to be just a little lit.
Lt. Col. Mike Dickinson stairways us to heaven with his “Holiday Song.” It’s for the boys, so be cool. Five minutes in he’s doing stand up. (You might skip the next song about a flashing sgt.)
Honey Honey uses jazz and a long list of cocktails to slur verisimilitude into “Christmas Tipsy.” Could you hand me that again? Whoops. Gettin’ sexy now.
Including the whole Flo-chart in one song doesn’t overcrowd the lyrics. All you have to do is say: drink, drank, drunk.
The Ryan & Amy Show present Moms over Miami with “Drunk Christmas,” an hilarious dive into desperation and despair. The odd lounge electronica pairs well with the acid flashes during the so-called instrumental.
Drunk Sprungy (with Innuendo) walk us through the bottom rung disappointment of the holidays for dangerously disenfranchised blokes in “A Drunk Sprungy’s Christmas Carol,” only one step on the action list being alcoholic consumption. Rap comes from the oppressed and downtrodden, and white as Drunk Sprungy is, he owns this.
Class act Dave Rudolf parodies ‘Tannenbaum’ with a falling down specificity named Tom. “Tom Got Bombed” is a sordid saga of salaciousness worth singing about.
Bethany & Randy Laskowski party a bit more disco with their “Drunk on Christmas,” walking us through Eve, Day, and on and on. Sounds like they’re egging themselves on.
The idea of observing the drinker lose volubility as vivaciousness increases is not the discovery of youtube circa 2003. The hilarious descent into stupor is an old nightclub bit at least as famous as Fay McKay’s Vegas routine “The 12 Drinks of Christmas.” Yeah it goes on forever, but do you feel bad for laughing at her incapacity?
Less successfully with the same formula is Frankie Ford. He takes forever to get going and even longer to get funny.
Danny McMaster applies a bit of the old Australian on his adaptation. He slushes right away, or is that his Ozzie accent?
Bill Barclay adds Scottish burr to his. The whole thing needs subtitles. Andy Ramage‘s exact same one comes with explanation.
Jeremy Lion rounds out the Empire with his working class British walrussing, this time with imbibing on stage. Eh wot?
Most fun is Axis of Awesome with “Drunk at Christmas.” Their big band expression that wanders, droops, drawls, and slumps in the corner indecipherably.
About my favorite toasting Christmas song is from Narrative Crows. “Christmas Drinking Song” is dreamlike and transporting, a magic cocktail ride. These Montrealeans blend folk and alt rock into a heavenly choir of our shortcomings, pairing that with a hypnotic video of arctic foot and traffic fails the may leave you hypnotized. View responsibly.
Perhaps a bit more conciliatory, Bob Nevin diagrams the road to ruin with his “Drunk this Christmas” half heartedly. It doesn’t seem like a done deal, but that may be the folk-rock talking. I think a kind word to the gentleman might change his mind.
Great White Caps also is unconvincing while the lead singer’s voice cracks and changes through the stress of living up to the garage rock band image. These partiers in “I’m Gonna Get Drunk for Christmas” appear to be giffing through the motions. Or they can’t really sing.
Paul Sanchez slows it way down with gentle jazz for his apologetic “I Got Drunk this Christmas.” It’s not the blues, but it sounds like he’ll wake up with them tomorrow.
The Dan Band has ulterior motives for disappearing the drinks: “Get Drunk & Make Out This Christmas” explains how a man builds up the courage to negotiate for the gift he wants. Some uncoordinated unwrapping ensues. Pop country Irish candy.