Sometime after the birth of the Only-Begotten, some bros rolled by. We say three, cause it’s easier to keep track. Herod sent ’em, a star led ’em, they knelt and smelt and felt the presence.
Their imagery inspires the likes of James Blunt to internalize his relationship with his girlfriend. “Wisemen” is light rock with a tinge of psychedelia. You might not hum it yuletide as appropriate.
Jim Nabors lays into the mysticism with “Three Wise Men, Wise Men Three.” This 1967 solemnity somnambulates sonorously. Bobby Vinton, however, swings just a bit with his 1964 cut of the same. Enjoy.
One of the more amusing retellings of the nativity comes from Bah & the Humbugs. “The One Minute Manger” may clock in a couple seconds long, and it may play off the Blanchard and Johnson 1982 business etiquette phenomenon, but it caters to our 21st Century short attention span. And it kinda rocks.
A newborn means new parents. Mary and Big Joe get some good screen time in the story of the Nativity, but few enough songs about them… just stable scenery for magi and drummers.
Tim McGraw has a gentle country ballad about “Mary and Joseph.” Don’t quote chapter and verse here, I think he takes some liberties (makes ’em sound kinda white if you ask me). Pretty song, though.
Can’t we celebrate Christmas like any other birthday?
Discordant and suburban-sounding, Bah & the Humbugs are waiting on “The Birthday Boy.” Hey, Craig’s dad is really good on the electric piano! Party on!
If we’re just talking “Happy Birthday” songs in general, do not miss The Arrogant Worms making their point (and the the Mickey Dutch video takes the cake).
Epic Happy Birthday Songs has a website where you can (purchase and) download thousands of songs for your-kid’s-name-here, including Jesus. (Competitor Happy Birthday Card competes with a 15-second e-card that’s over before you care.) The cat version is not so epic. The dog-dinosaur-clown-explosion version is truly epic, and spot on features lambs.
Many peoples in many languages offer up birthday thanks for this time of the year. Some odd translated versions haunt me. Nassiri keeps to twenty words or so to sing “Happy Birthday Jesus.” Lots of multicultural kids help. Rashid M. Khan has more cool, less English with his “Well Come Jesus” song, shades on, away in a mantra.
In our country Reba tells the kids to hush up while she narrates the True Meaning of Christmas. Fortunately she also sings about presents in time for the X-Man, offering “Happy Birthday Jesus (I’ll Open this One for You).” Somehow i see her waving around a Coors when she says that.
Some songs simply tell JC to blow out the candles on his cake of forgiveness. I suppose God-as-Man has more to do than observe numbers on a calendar, but it gives us great elder wisdom to thank ourselves for not forgetting His special day.
Most pastorages stick some virtuosoistic kid in from of the oldsters and sing “Happy Birthday Jesus” until we can’t stop beaming and crying and feeling fulfilled. Whatevs.
Some try out the joke of singing the (previously) copyrighted ‘Happy Birthday’ song to Jesus: check out the tail end of “Wonderful Christmastime” by Barenaked Ladies. It’s not one you’ll put in your top 100 carols, i’d wager.
I prefer a good Beatles’ parody from the grand master mockumentarian Bob Rivers. “Jesus’ Birthday” rocks the flock. It’s a fine way to get the party started.
The Reason for the Season is the appeasin’ of the diocese ‘n’ stuff like that. Don’t you go forgetting the J. Bae now. King of kings Joshua C. Carpenter got born out of Godhead and–c’mon–dead people finally get to go to Heaven. Hip hip… hosanna.
Most classic (old hat) Christmas carols praise the baby. Heck, the first songs sung for the high holy day were just hallelujah hymns, but louder. Not until about the 19th Century did we start singing about sleigh bells and trees and rooftops and santas. Let’s not hear those AGAIN.
And, by the way, every tin-roofed two-bit steeple has got ‘talented’ people attending who make up reverential songs every year hoping to amuse the mass. A guitar/piano noodling, calling Christ a ‘dude’ does not a noticeable novelty noel make unto thou. So let’s tread carefully through the minefield of modern manger music and find some GOOD STUFF.
Being in a mixed mood all month (March, y’know: lambs v. lions), I’ll alternate something classy/cool on odd numbered days with something kooky/comic on even numbered days.
Tonight’s first offering comes from Shiloh Worship Music (free music on their website, dude). I’m sure this bluegrass group are a fine looking bunch, but they hide under a bushel of stock New Testy footage for their “Jesus is the Reason for the Season.” Still, the jouncy, bouncy banjo beat makes you rejoice, don’t it? I do!
One of my favorite unclassifiables is Franklin Bruno whingeing on the electric organ with alt-rock assuredness. “Invisible Mistletoe” haunts me like a half-remembered kiss.
A.K.A. Belle also weird up the alternative rock with “I’m Giving Mice Elf to You.” It’s a mistletoe love song that preys on your insecurities, like a kiss you won’t get.
Minimalist and new age-y, Wun Two quietly invade your psyche with their take on “Mistletoe.” You won’t be able to tell if that was a kiss.
The Jesus Lizard go a touch psychedelic with their “Mistletoe.” Your kisses may never be the same.
You need hard driving music to get the mistletoe party started.
Wait wait. Softly to begin. Gotta warm up those kissable lips.
Besureis is all about setting the kiss party mood with “Mistletoe.” Mmmm.
Gentle as an opening oven revealing gingerbread, Kyle Harrington sing-murmurs “Mistletoe Song” so nice. You can trust him.
Ghost the Jukebox will foreplay you up with “Mistletoe.” Rollicking and romantic.
Crashing and clashing, party boy Dino Barbiera (is that a party name or what?) leads you to the mistletoe with good-boy promises in “Meet Me Under the Mistletoe.” You’ll be there.
Now Atomsplit will plant one on you b/c they are the “Master of Mistletoe.” Party pucker up!
Well, i listened to the hip hop and i got nastified.
Courtney Stodden plays the female-empowerment “Mistletoe Bikini” like a stripper pole. She promises that if you kiss her under there it will be ‘sweeter than a candy cane martini.’ She might be all talk.
Todd from Rockvlogs seconds the motion with finger pointing (not so much winking). But “Kiss Me Under the Mistletoe” refers to a different sort of toe, a bit more dromedary in fact.
No between the lines for Junksista. “Under the Mistletoe” describes sexual activities to dance music. Kissing is a gateway position.
Now you promiscuous girls are gonna get it. Here comes the name-calling. Kevin Temmer channeling Ray Stevens with a rock cum country ballad “Mistletoe Ho.” Laugh-In it’s not. But catchy it is.
Tonya Sexton has posted a fun celeb parody revisiting crooners of yore. “Under the Mistletoe (Kiss My Ass Goodbye)” gives timely advice for the cheated upon.
