Life After X-return to vendor

One tradition we hold dear when the unwrapping is through, the returning’s begun.

Tim Markel uses metal to bitch (BLUE ALERT) the list of all the pointless pantomiming that’s through. First and foremost in “Christmas is Over” is returning the crap you gave him. It gets louder.

Shorty Garrett retries the rock’n’roll but leaves us with warm pop in “Shopping Shopping Shopping.” It’s largely about the mess before Xmas, but recommends snatching bargains after the masses ‘repeal’ their gifts 12/26.

Harmonica-rich country pop heralds “The Day After Christmas” from Jon Covert. Hyperbole about mad consumers mumbled over a jazzy ‘Jingle Bells’ rhythm machine beat is as funny as we can get here.

P.S. Didn’t know where else to shelve this maudlin poverty-stricken easy listening trembler… In “The Day After the Day After Christmas” Rick Paul recounts his ol’ dad’s sweet deals on trees and decorations when the season had ended and the money had long before run out. Holy moly.

Life After X–inconceivable

Can we begin to fathom the world when Christmas has left us? Poets and troubadours take this challenge.

January Zero can’t find the way back home “After Christmas.” This cacophony of coffeehouse pop waves its metaphors proudly to capture this (lack of) spirit.

Annie Lin is sorry she didn’t pick you up ate the airport in time in “The Day After Christmas,” a bangin’, unplugged rocker of a poetic traipse over mood swings and urban expectations.

Gar Cox goes Celtic folk epic with the drinking and head scratching all over “Too Late for Christmas.” This synesthesia of images and smells and despair needs a Joycean college class to explicate. I like that.

Life After X–okay Santa

Maybe Santa’s on his extended weekend after Xmas. Maybe it’s all boatdrinks and hula girls. Celebrate, come on!

(Quick detour into criminality first: GreenPoint Blue try the (cheesy electronic piano) pop humor route with “Santa’s Late for Christmas” because of a run-in with the law. Presents only while on parole. Devolves into an agenda.)

Florida Keys require partying by law. “‘Twas the Night After Christmas” by John Jay Martyn is the calypso about unwinding that you’d expect. (And yet… reindeer games, and–Hemingway sighting!)

Horace Peterkin & Friends bring the actual parang with “After Christmas” asking Whatchoo gwinna doo after Christmas? Scolding again, for the privileged. Santa may have spoiled us, but now that it’s done let’s all love one another. And dance!

Santa’s Helpers take us another route with “The Day After Christmas.” In this ’70s inspired pop doodler, Santa finds a letter he overlooked and dives down the rabbit-hole of what life means.

Life After X–hey Santa

How’s the jolly one doing right after the Big Show? ‘Sgotta be a relief, hey?

Little Fish grinds out some blues POV the fat man with “Day After Christmas Blues.” He suffers for your gains, children. Feel it.

“The Day After Christmas” begins with an elf kegger then gets worse. Then even worse. Barbershop a cappella juices the horror a la The Chromatics.

“Santa Claus. December 26” brought to you by Tony Thaxton (feat. Matt Taylor) details the symptoms of overwork the Saint suffers the day after. Groovy beach rock (though i’m having trouble with Brad here, too).

Life After X–what is time?

As i post this, Twenty Twenty-one begins. But not when i write it, nor likely when you read it. Time is a factor of our perception. Everything just is. Of course if you want chemistry or physics to work, follow the x-axis.
So, when i say Songs About After Christmas: it can mean the burnout, the hangover, the mess… or it can mean the return to normalcy… or even the anticipation of Next Xmas.

Let’s start with a continuity check. If we are the only animal that can anticipate the unseen yet to be, can it be After Christmas before Christmas? Student Union (feat. Zak Stegman) applies rock country to caution “It’s Gone Before You Know It.” Either this will slow you down to savor-speed, or will be just one more thing to worry about.

Perhap the numericalization of the calendar limits the moods. “Merry ’til Christmas is Over” is real Celtic caroling from Dave Brooks & Bernard Wrigley. No judgment.

Whether the chicken came before the egg or vice versa, we can agree “Christmas Comes Four Days After Winter Solstice.” Salvador Buttersworth gets lost in the time loop of this folk masterpiece, which may teach you calendrical skills–or how fast you can reach the mute button.

Wait–I Mean It

Let’s get mean. At this point Christmas is over, and we don’t know why we were so gung ho. I mean, what did we expect, really?

Punk pop from The Earps pees all over the traditions in “I Can’t Wait for Christmas (To be Over).” Slight BLUE ALERT. You know.

Heather Henderson gets ironic big band chanteuse about cat poop and parental insecurity with the luminous “I can’t Wait for Christmas… to be Over.” Give the little lady a hand sanitizer.

Don’t Wait

Wait, don’t wait–what’s a child to do with Christmas in the neighborhood?

“Don’t Wait ’til the Night Before Christmas” to be good, so went the big band standard from pre-WWII. I enjoy Miss Rose & Her Rhythm Percolators wagging a trumpeted finger atcha. Rosemary Clooney and Nick Clooney have a fun rehearsal tape of this. For good measure, here’s Dick Robertson and His Orchestra setting you straight:

Wait, Christmas

Sometimes we talk to Xmas like it can hear us. (Not like annoying coworkers who don’t talk about what we talk about.) This apostrophe serves Greek epic poets more than modern songsters.

Heart carefully, slowly pops their “Christmas Waits” like it’s from a Burt Bacharach workshop. Nothing but patience in this weak tempo.

Remus improves the musical air with garage romance. “Christmas can Wait” puts the loved one above the holiday. If she can’t be here, then put it on hold, boychick.