We’re glanced at Jimmy Buffett’s “Ho Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum” before. Overorchestrated pop that wants to be smooth calypso when it grows up, it’s a Santa escape tale. (As well as the superior–in humor and talent–punk take by The Cucumbers. Santa be nasty here.)
Less piratey is Taco and De Mofos dealing with fam and other relationships in the bouncy house of rap from “Ho, Ho, Ho & a Bottle of Rum.” See, he’s gonna have his fun… drinking all the pain away… like a thief on the open seas. (?)
Cobbled together out of Treasure Island and sung by Craig Toungate, “Yo, Ho, Ho, and a Bottle of Rum!!” is a fine shanty of offensively inoffensive pop Celtic music. It is not quite holiday-centric, but fun. The Roger Wagner Chorale makes a meal of it. Had to lean into pirates celebrating, darkly as they do.
Tom Mason and the Blue Buccaneers take a less novel approach to their album A Pirate’s Christmas. It sails fair waters of standards with aught but the occasional sitar, shanty, or argh. Some fine fiddlin’, but that cut no mustard with our blog. Still, for your consideration….
“It’s Christmas Day” is a dandy number, a rollicking Celtic how-to celebrate and decorate. Just happens to be on a ship. No fuss ’bout that at all. ‘Ceptin’ for that insistent trombone.
“Yo Ho Ho (Pirate’s Christmas)” is the gem at the top of the treasures. A shanty of Santa vs. the pirates re-teaches us that Mr. Christmas is not tone trifled with. It’s a party song that tells a tale. A lessons those what need be.
“Christmas Pirate” from Eye Suck metal rocks the benefits from being naughty at the wrong time.
Mighty Magic Pants is mighty kid friendly with their “Pirate’s Christmas Eve.” This is about the Caribbean setting (and music). Apart from a couple bits o’ jargon, no piracy threatens.
Crappy boat metaphor helps fill Christmas albums, too. Ahoy.
BIG BLUE ALERT for the rap from Coi Leray (ft. Dess Dior & Maliibu Miitch) wishing a “Merry Xmas” to all the boys whether they locked up in the penitentiary or wildin’ on the boat. Spirited, but what’s that boat about?
More rap from St. Crypt.: Cause I am tired of rowing a boat with my bros but when I am not looking they drilling some holes (Holes!) Self sabotaging, i guess. But “Crypt” is about not really being yourself. Like the true spirit of Xmas. Or sumpn.
Cuter rap makes me realize the dearth of figurative language in our language and in our rap. “Holiday Jam” by ajasont notes that the cider is steaming like a boat. Now that’s just silly.
Nervous about family together and “For Those Who Can’t Be Here,” Tom Walker folk-pops: ‘Round the table banter flows Prayin’ no one rocks the boat. Careful now.
Tori Amos offers We’ll sail on a “Christmastide.” Indie grrl pop floats my boat. But this seems more pagan than reverent.
Off topic (perhaps), is “Tomato Christmas” from Eric Holm. More thick poetry: Oh, the Summer’s ripe in the face of its death And all the spirits of the departed Carry our boat over the lake with the force of their breath. It’s August. Perhaps the boat is real, but Christmas is the metaphor.
The Shanks describe “When My Ship Hits Christmas Day” with weird brassy pop rock (like Chicago?). I don’t get it, but i’m dancing.
“Bound for Bethlehem” is a fine Celtic carol from The Barra NacNeils about the pilgrimage to the birthplace. But it’s by boat. To a landlocked place. Or is it by angel–? Are we dead?
Ty Thurman wonders “If Santa was a Sailor,” then what? Kidsong (with a merry country backbeat) follows to spell it out to all y’all. There’s a list.
Gordon Mac Martin gets scarier with his “Sailor Santa.” He also asks If, but worries that climate change will require this as the coasts decline and we all live at the ocean. More Carib beat.
If you want to break my heart, know we are skating on thin ice. I ain’t a hockey player babe, I won’t put up a fight. But I’ll give you a pass if it’s after the holiday’s. So “Won’t You be My Babe for Christmas.” Kam Stewart’s brassy alt pop is the hesitant love song of the new gen.
So it guess Santa met his missus figure skating. That’s so by Lea Salonga’s “Even Santa Fell in Love.” Sweet, yea syrupy, orchestral pop. Almost kidsong.
Amanda Lehmann hearkens to fairy tales more than to Santa myth in “An Old Christmas Day.” This Celtic inspired pop, Jack Frost will be waiting to go skating with you; Aurora shimmers in the icy view. Blustery cool.
The cast of Bob’s Burgers plug in the rock for “Snowballs and Sledding.” Season 9 Episode 10 will fill in the in-jokes for those who need to know.
Corduroy Road brings us a whole ‘other kind of sledding with the folk-pop “Sled Dog Christmas.” This plaintive noise brings not just winter, but also that big deal holiday, into focus. Blessings.
Ska rock from The Crossing Crew remind us “Hey It’s Christmas.” Hot chocolate, ugly sweaters, and bells take the stage–along with some sledding.
Eric Stone comes on back with “Hang Ten Santa.” He’s just one of the boys in this overly sweet surf rock.
ABC Kids play the Australian card with the kids pop of “Santa’s Coming on a Surfboard.” Some swell guitar way back in there, but it’s pablum for the preteens.
The Dimmer Twins also bring Down Under to the table with “Surfin’ Santa.” This pokey western puts the old guy on the point break at high noon.
Norwegians Naomi & Goro go for a Bossa Nova Christmas with their “Santa on a Surfboard.” Take that back. I am not kidding.
