The Rude Off: overboard

How much fun can we have with the Rudolph legend?

Even kidsong can get off the mainstream. “Rudolph and the Snowman” is awesome folk Q&A from KidsTV123. Love it.

FuMP’s Phil Johnson & The Roadside Attraction curse out a metal revenge story in “Rudolph the Blood-Soaked Reindeer.” More curious than comical.

Kelly Nolf & Wyndi Harp use the moral here to tell “Rudolph Knows,” a country swinger of life lesson-ology.

Also into the figurative, Arne Hansen & The Guitarspellers decry a horrid first rendezvous sporting a big pimple on the nose as if “On a Date as Rudolph.” Rocking polka.

They Shined Up Rudolph’s Nose” gets more play than most of our novelties, but Johnny Horton brings just the right level of country rock to this number.

Some wild rockabilly elevated “Rudolph’s Ruin” beyond the drunkeness of the last post to victimhood. The Wildebeests deliver.

Name Four

Vixen is the unfortunate name of the bunch. Some nasty connotations lead us where we don’t wanna go.

For example, Santa’s Angry Elves hard rock “Trump Grabbed Vixen by the Pussy.” Santa and Clinton are also named in this MeToo activated harassment complaint.

As a follow-up “Vixen’s Talkin’ to a Lawyer (And Santa’s at the Package Store).” J.P. Davis uses rockabilly to make her case. No objections here.

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Can’t stop the music! Can’t stop the Xmas spirit from coming back on me, like nachos!

Drawling country pop from Anna Bergendahl reaches for the spurs in “Just Another Christmas.” She’s just watching from the sidelines. But she’s got an eye on you, ya ol’ cayuse.

Synth harmony pop like you hear during the parties of twenty-somethings in the back of CW adventure shows, Make Like Monkeys romanticize “Another Holiday” with room for more mood. My eyes are rolling… up in ecstasy.

Luke Ryder has an annoyingly synthed pop party number in “Just Another Christmas.” The electro-timpani overshadows any sense it might’ve made. Dance!!!

Rockabilly to the rescue–Lew Lewis struts the blues into a watchable routine with “Just Another Day to Me.” Go, candy canes, go!

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When is another Christmas NOT another Christmas? When there’s no love, hope, meaning…. Buckle up, buck-o.

Ernest Tubb country waltzes “Christmas is Just Another Day” as if he weren’t falling to pieces. Poor guy.

Geneva Renee’s “Christmas is Just Another Day” is the soul treatment of the tortured soul. He’s gone, gone away, no longer here–get the picture?

Johnny Dowd gets experimental with his rockabilly in his “Christmas is Just Another Day.” But missing mommy has never been so weird. Nothing just about it.

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This concept of joyous noel emptied of meaning in a cold, lonely house just won’t quit. It goes on and on. So does the music.

Preempting the problem, The Ready Set pop the seltzer out of “I Don’t Wanna Spend Another Christmas Without You.” Childish, but het up.

En español, Loona wills her sorrow over the annoying galloping of synthetic strings in “Another Christmas Without You.” My head AND my heart now hurt!

In cockney, Prozzak smirks that “It’s Just Another Christmas Without You.” Spoken pop, but with Anglo-charm.

Nsync snaps and pops (like bubblegum) throughout the smarmy pop of “I Don’t Wanna Spend One More Christmas Without You.” Next!

Orianthi & Cyril Niccolai moan over “Another Christmas Without You.” Glorious harmony here makes the pathos worse. Pop music ow!

Bobby Helms oldschools the countrywestern genre with “Another Christmas Without You.” How can we face it??? Mother, make it stop!

The Epileptic Hillbillys rockabilly “Another Christmas Without You” with Western insistence. I do believe ’em, i do, i do!

Mall World: complaints

Kids may not appreciate the whole sit and wish mall Santa scene. How far do they push?

Krismas Kookies barbershop quartet the list of travails with their “Shopping Mall Santa.” It’s like being fired for malfeasance in a monotone.

The mall under construction is but the first of the troubles for “Steamrolled Mall Santa” by Birthing Stirrups. Punk observations of an absurd corporate season-scape.

Howard Morris returns to his “Department Store Santa (After Xmas).” The same tune, the same tadpoles, but some bitter vinegar for the part-time employee (is he being accused of sex-trafficking?!). Rockabilly country.

Mall World: uninnocent

One of the biggest problems for the mall Santa is keeping up with those crazy kids. The pre-teens wanna be smokin’ and drinkin’, the single digits wanna be too cool for yule, and the toddlers wanna be Kim Jong-Un. Where’s the youthful purity?

Sean Madigan’s “Mall Santa” has gun-toting, broken-family psychos to whisper in his ear with this easy-going rock bopper.

Howard Morris’s “Department Store Santa (Before Xmas)” has to grow up fast in this rockabilly spoken-word comedy 1960 classic.

Look at Lights

Decorating with lights can be as much fun as cleaning the house, but when it’s time to bask in Christmas wonderment near the top of the list of fun is wandering about to look at all the pretty twinklies. Even not on drugs.

(However, if you are so bent, perhaps The Smoking Trees’ “The Psychedelic Lights of Christmas” might be up your mainline. Whoa.)

The Symmetrics punch the pop (seriously, the plosives are seismic) with “Light It Up.” It’s that moment when the whole thing is turned on. (Mistletoe included, wink.)

Kidsongs ruin the imagination when they rely on familiar tunes (is it a parody? are there so few melodies? built-in sway-alongs?), but “Little Light” by Bobs & Lolo might reach above that low bar using ‘Twinkle, Twinkle’ as a stepping stone. ‘Sup to you.

K C Kookaburra (The Swinging Kookaburra) admits that driving around or walking around “Look at Christmas Lights” is a happy time. Australian pop.

Brad Dison is just driving around looking at “Christmas Lights.” This dad band rockabilly nails our sentiment, coolly joyful.

Born this Day, twenty-six (Lamb, Lion, Lord)

Dance off! Beedays are excellent excuses to party hearty. How could you not–for Jesus.

Christmas Party!” is just what i’m talkin’ ’bout. Orange Kids’ Music rock the Christian message with repetitive empty words (make the loudest noise you’ve ever made). But the X-kids have a raucous anthem, at least.

2014’s Evil Wiener’s Christmas Album drops a number to trip the light fantastico with “All Around the World (Happy Birthday Jesus)” in which a certain godhead gets a special shout out from Santa Claus flying by. ‘Billy pop.

Merry Criminals! lawyers

You have a right to representation against Santa, or anyone else.

Lawrence Savell fronts The Law Tunes to wonderfully amusing effect over several holiday albums. Here’s a commercial sampling from Season’s Briefings. Pick it up for your legal eagle holiday needs for next year.

Also Hutson & Harris parody carols as free wisdom for potential clients to comic effect with videos like “Texas Lawyers Singing Some Holiday Advice.”

It’s beyond HR when Santa bumps the wrong way at the Christmas party. “Vixen’s Talking to a Lawyer” is rockabilly-lite with country charm from J.P. Davis.