Category: rock

Behold a “Star”: “Harry Potter” (and pals)

Perhaps the less said about the J.K. Rowling series the better. It’s unoriginal, plodding, and mean-spirited. But it is the best selling literary series in the history of forever, and she is the only author made billionaire strictly from her creation.

The cottage industry of pop songs dedicated to the fan base is also a bit dull-witted.

The obvious is “Voldemort  is Coming to Town.” Bella Luna Wrock has an adorable version of this. Several others recorded their own to a set of venal lyrics that went viral several years ago.

Draco and the Malfoys have a talky bit of comedy song in: “A Very Voldemort Christmas.” The young Tom Riddle here has a stand off with Santa… sorry, fell asleep there a bit. They make up for that one a bit with “All I Want for Christmas” in which Draco himself dictates a holiday wish list to Lord He-who-shall-not-be-named naming names and spells.

For my money the best pop song tribute to Harry Potter is the pop song tribute to Harry Potter fans: Joel Kopischke’s “Have Yourself a Very Harry Potter Christmas.” Take that, fans! (I also wish your parents don’t get killed.)

Behold a “Star”: “John McClane”

The original ‘Die Hard’ was set during a holiday office party and as such has become a guy Christmas thing. The protagonist, John McClane, according to our friendly neighborhood Wikipediea, was originally based on the fictional character Detective Joe Leland from Roderick Thorp’s bestselling novel, Nothing Lasts Forever. As portrayed by Bruce Willis, he’s a whiny yet unapologetic, self sabotaging yet unstoppable romantic narcissist. Role model!

Insane Ian & Bonecage retell the tale with the Bing-Bowie ‘Drummer Boy’ backgrounding in “Die Hard Christmas.” Be patient, or be a big fan.

Mike Karschti paints and sings “Merry Christmas, John McClane” with such winning talent that I forgive him his excuse making via vlog after the song.

Behold a Star: Squeaky Fromme

Lynette Alice Fromme was a casualty of the ’60s from hallucinogenic drug use and excessive counterculture deprogramming. She had been a cutsie California entertainer but was exploited by Charlie Manson to help out with his murder spree to ignite the inevitable apocalyptic race war. Her big headline grab after Charlie was sidelined was shooting at President Gerald Ford (the least likely target of assassination ever), resulting in 34 years of incarceration.

Reverend Glen Armstrong takes a turn at psychoanalyzing this pop culture footnote, concluding that “Even Squeaky Fromme Loves Christmas.” It’s worth your while to peer into his bouncy pop lyrics and judge his own stability.

Behold a Star: Jack Black, etc.

Here in the mysterious world of novelty music awkward fusions and joke bands are a rare and wonderful thing. No one usually gets them and they die a cover death at airport lounges. But Jack Black has nurtured his Tenacious D duo ‘mock rock’ with Kyle Glass for decades. He loves the metal music as much as the tongue in the cheek. So his funny musical career works.

La Parola Persa is an Italian group of no little energy who has devoted webspace to ‘begging Jack’ to musically notice them. Their holiday tribute “Merry Christmas, Jack Black” goes off the rails early, however, and hyperactively salutes more than a hundred stars (of the movie/music type). What a masked ride! (Caveat: The second half of the video is encore.)

Behold a Star: Bob Dylan

Robert Zimmerman is a Grammy, Pulitzer, Nobel prize winner with more awards than hit songs. He has a pass for everything he’s tried and failed at since 1972 (DO NOT attempt to listen to his Christmas album) because he was cool once upon a time and captured the spirit of disenfranchisement of the Boomers.

Shaun McCrindle sings the true story of a holiday sighting with “Bob Dylan’s in a Joke Shop” with laconic folk rocking. Appropriate.

Adam J Taylor honors Bob Dylan with “Sexy Bob Dylan Christmas,” conjuring a feeling for this time of year that is important, activist, and sexy. Well, that’s what he says. I find the song earnest and odd in equal measures.

Tripping Bells: Dope

We’ve passed through the gateway of weed. I reckon it’s time for some hard stuff. Generically at first.

I’ve previously offered “Santa Doesn’t Cop out on Dope” but only in the Martin Mull original. Sonic Youth has a wacky turn at it. Greg Hawkes‘s live version allows the irony to shine through more blindingly.

Defiant Bear rollick “Santa’s Dope” with a chimney cleaning back beat. That helps the horrible violence go down.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTe7zg0bK5A

Tripping Bells: Roach

What’s left? Wait, i got it right here. What was i doing? Oh yeah, Xmas pot songs:

Chief Greenbud croons sweetly “Let’s get Blazed for the Holidaze.” It’s light rock, sweet pop, weird. Brian Ashley Jones does it a touch better.

Green Outlaws has a good ol’ country time with wishing for “A Bag of Pot for Christmas.” Yee haw, bubba.

“Do You Want to Smoke a Bowl, Man” from Dan Zimberg shows talent. (A touch BLUE.) Tread carefully on children’s parodies.

Skye Taylor dresses up like Dr. John and growls out ’70s honky tonk rock with “Roll Me a Big Ass Joint for Christmas.” It’s a serious effort for such an itty bit joke. So i definitely like it. (Except for overlong intro and postscript comedy.)

Tripping Bells: Moocah

Since Colorado blazed the trail of legalization for bale, at least a couple of kookie noels position themselves mile high.

Smooch McGee introduces the topic with “It’s Christmastime in Boulder.” It’s a travel brochure from the city council, with lilting ukulele beckoning.

Breathe Carolina goes power pop with “Mile High Christmas” which might not technically be CO, and is only nuanced with pot. But it rocks.

Tripping Bells: Grass

As you might anticipate, Santa passes the fatty on the left hand side.

Grass Stains shares an adorable amateur performance of “I Got High w/Santa.” Gird your loins for a fun folk sing-along. But i didn’t know that Santa won’t drink your beer.

Mista Blaze celebrates with the hippy hop in “Smoking with Santa.” It’s boyish fun (as in boy band rap).

Bob Narley is under the impression that “Santa Claus is SELLING the Brown” rather than gifting it in your stockings. Rumpa a dump dum.

When Kevin Bloody Wilson sings like he’s stoned he’s twice the Australian. “Santa was Stoned” has become a bit of an anthem for them as can remember the old days when stoner was dangerously cool. It’s okay if you don’t remember it; Dr. Demento didn’t play this one.