Category: rock

Life After X-love enduring

So, we missed the connection this Christmas? Was there anything at all? Should i give up now? And not wait?

Alex Goot doesn’t hold out quite as much hope for “Next Christmas Eve,” a soul/pop test of vocal chords.

Casting the possibilities among swine, Emmrose wonders whether there’s love in your soul. “Maybe Next Christmas” you’ll know. Lugubrious pop.

Just ask! Will You Still Love Me “Two Weeks After Christmas” Man Feelings want to know with retro pop coolness. Don’t know the answer, but i sure enjoyed the querying.

’50s slow-dance rock backs up The Barbary Coasters as they ask the perennial question: “Will You Still Love Me (After Christmas Break)?” Evidence will be presented, clues will be investigated, friends asked. Yet, the mystery remains.

Life After X-back to work

Now that the holiday’s done, what about making a living? Resume.

On the one hand, Luke Turton is overwhelmed by the smelly mess to the point where he Britpop wishes he were back to work in “Christmas was Yesterday.” Anglo-specific, i s’pose.

Shama and PD’s “Post Christmas Slump” also moans over how there’s nothing to do, not even work. Electro-slow pop sounds like suffering. (Watch out for odd TV-binge solo.)

Matt Roach nails the rock with “‘Twas the Day After Christmas.” Everyone’s lost the joy and they’re back to being jerk, jerk jerks. We’re on the downhill slide away from the goodness now.

Life After X–hey Santa

How’s the jolly one doing right after the Big Show? ‘Sgotta be a relief, hey?

Little Fish grinds out some blues POV the fat man with “Day After Christmas Blues.” He suffers for your gains, children. Feel it.

“The Day After Christmas” begins with an elf kegger then gets worse. Then even worse. Barbershop a cappella juices the horror a la The Chromatics.

“Santa Claus. December 26” brought to you by Tony Thaxton (feat. Matt Taylor) details the symptoms of overwork the Saint suffers the day after. Groovy beach rock (though i’m having trouble with Brad here, too).

Wait for the Squeal

Getting hypoxic with suspense can lead to high pitched keening, which, any other time of the year is annoying but just before Xmas, is parentally preferred. Go figure. Squeak it up, singers!

Light and airy kid frolicsome, Doug & Deb rock the uke for “I Just Can’t Wait ’til Christmas.” It’s nearly ragtime in its earnest energy.

Perky a bit more than the music allows, “I Can Hardly Wait for Christmas” is Michael Gurley’s entry in the sing-along easy rock family time glee.

Dean Kelly switches up the Britpop to punk pogo with “Can’t Wait Until Christmas.” Catchy as Covid, innit?

Kenn Rowell & The Baghdaddies up the folk rock with shouted singing about the good old times in “I Can Hardly Wait ’til Christmas.” Not earbusting, but leaping and goofing like it’s okay.

Wait for a Near Bummer

Class up the kidsong, zip up the talent and tempo, and we have less than a mess and more of a cynical manipulation. I can’t help how i can’t stomach Raffi and his ilk.

Some imagination over food and Santa interaction boosts “Can’t Wait for Christmas Morning” by Johanna Lewis. But the sweetly humble kid intonations make me pick this as a song for the retirement home, rather than the romper room.

The Texas twang of Rosie Flores imbues corrido-stylings to “Watchoo Waitin’ for Christmas?” lofting it to higher musical levels. ‘Cause then there’s food again. And then there’s accordion, and honkytonk piano. Finally the stilted beat seems almost reprimanding. Can’t recommend this to anyone under 55.

The message in “I Can’t Wait!” by Patch the Pirate is unbearable anticipation for Grandma to open the special present from ME, the kid. Showtune shenanigans that feels by-the-numbers for all its ingenuity.

Warmed over retro rock for the chilluns should set me back on my heels, but i’m only slightly offended by The Wiggles crooning “Just Can’t Wait for Christmas Day.” It stinks of dad-hobby, but the boys’ve got talent: C-.

A Near Thing -1 & done

Did i save the best proximal Xmas songs for last? You be the supreme justice!

Garage angst makes a smirkery of the season when King Lazy Bones waxes punketical about what it means when “Christmas is Just Around the Corner.” Check yourself, consumer.

The message-laden pontification of “It’s Almost Christmas” by Neil Werden is betrayed by the fluffy folk timpani and fun of the delivery. Wee hah, knee slapped! He feels bad! Haha haha ha.

Leave it to those wacky Canadians to open my eyes to the real meaning of irony. “Christmas is Almost Here” is a schoolyard chant by Arrogant Worms, wherein the agony and screaming is offset by the fancy fiddling and increasing tempo. A whirling dervish of delightful suffering.

A Near Thing -6

I honestly shouldn’t pop this can of worms, but i have a special circle of halo reserved for the truly awful. Whether intentionally wisecracking or unenlightened and untalented, bad singers give me pause–like that first sip of seasonal nog. You shouldn’t like it….

Having consumed too much Fred Figglehorn, Mr. Crainer hyper-raps imbecilically “Merry Almost Christmas.” It’s all in fun. Are you having fun?

I pair that with the intentional atonal chaos from BERU “Almost Christmas.” Garage punk thinks it can do whatever it wants, because–I guess–that’s what defines it.

On the other stump, the amateur Sweet Sisters are just kids corralled into a synth-storm of recording “It’s Nearly Christmas.” Keep this for THEIR grandkids to hear later. I mean keep it, don’t share it.

Oldsters also need stricter parenting: piano impresario Malcolm Simpson hatchets open the jazz-rumpus “Christmas is Just Around the Corner.” Look away.

Dai [day] is a rambling randomizer, but he’s no rambler. “Almost Christmas” might tempt you into the it’s-so-bad-it’s-good territory. Recalibrate.

A song can show promise yet be marred by technical cruddiness. Veghalen posts a family Christmas song “Christmas is Coming” with wit and warmth. But the sudden religious pitch near the end makes this messier than it oughterbe.

A Near Thing -15

‘Almost Christmas’ is more than a time, it’s a state of mind. Or so the following songs would dare you to suppose.

Vince Martin and Dawn Turlington bosso the nova out of “Almost Christmas,” an easy listening jazz pop pooper i’d expect to be the waltz music selection at the old folks’ home.

.38 Special admits that they’ve been waiting all year long for the night before. Their southern rock party anthem “A Wild-Eyed Christmas Night” does what it sets out to do, and its bad-boy enthusiasm for elves, reindeer, and coming down the chimney turns this standard rock into novelty music. Thanks, boys.