Category: rock

The traditional carol ‘Jingle Bells’ is its own holiday. People celebrate the song by rocking and dancing and partying in their own denominational deviations after just a whiff of its wildness. Be advised, bells matter less than booty here.

“Jingle Dance” from Rembunction features choice shaking of body parts to an infectious parang riddim.

1961 is where you want your wayback machine to show your moves. That’s when Chuck Blevins lays down “Sleigh Bell Rock.” Straight from the fridge, dad. The modern rockabilly of Three Aces and a Joker also allow for the picking them up and putting them down.

1960 may be too far gone for this kid. “Xmas Bell Rock” from Barry and the Highlights doowops up a storm. But my pedal extremities ain’t shindiggin’.

Everything old is new again. Classic rock sounds from Dude York make a pogo out of “Jingle Bell Rock,” not the song you were expecting. But you can still cut a rug to it.

The only thing more depressing than being without money for Christmas, is having no one to spend it on. Way too much sentiment swings this way, so we’ll try to limit our mopey options to this NO CHRISTMAS cause and effect.

Wailing with soul, Gene-O sails his R+B schooner “No More Christmas” like a howling animal in amorous pain. Owie.

Brown and Garrett slather up some blues in the raw “Ain’t No Christmas Baby,” an electric dissertation in desperation.

Celebrating the brattiness, kids might beg for coal for Christmas. Reverse psychology or sociopathy–you decide!

“Coal in My Stocking” tops the bluegrass list of Williamson Branch. Children want to help their po’ miner Daddy. Kids sing the darnedest things.

Novelty pyjammaed gramma Beverly Smith kidsongs “I’m Getting Coal for Christmas.” In it she belabors the bad-boy antics that brought about this quid pro quo. A cry for help, or for the cops?

Driving the point home, Ed the Dread repeats “I Want Coal for Christmas” to a lick he learned on his new electric guitar. Rock and–well, just rock.

Look at all these presents i got for Christmas, i made a killing!

Kunt and the Gang roast Mike for drunk driving and vehicular homicide for the holidays in “Killed a Kid at Christmas.” Hilarious (dark) British sketch musical.

The same thing done suitably depressingly blues rock (Tom Waits-ish) spirals down with Billionaires Club in “Happy Holidays from the Taggarts.” What coulda been dysfunctional-family-brutal takes its time to ballad out a horrifying manslaughter. I mean really upsetting. Guess that makes it an I-dare-you song. Don’t look away, or i’ll double dog ya. (I happens to love it.)

Revenge of the Egg People have a bone to pick with Father Christmas. “Seasons Greeting Felony” is a rock party tribute to taking the life you didn’t want to have around. Ouchies.