Category: rock

The Rude Off: immodest

A 1939 Montgomery Wards holiday booklet retold the ugly duckling story one more time, with a weird-o ousted hoofer having the one mutation to save the day. Whether handicapped, non-white, non-binary children took ‘Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer’ to heart way back then–the songs and shows co-opted this outlier concept so all mainstreamers can see themselves as special. Hooray.

If you began listening to every cover of the Johnny Marks song (over 420 on Secondhandsongs.com–so i figure over a thousand, easy) you might be done by Christmas. So, don’t do that. And IDONOTCARE if it was sung better by Burl or Gene or Ella or Dean….

However, some songs reference Rudy in novel ways–including several we’ve sampled on the blog before.

One of my favorite parodies is Jars of Clay’s Nirvana’s “Smells Like Rudolph.” Swell smell!

Also prized parody, “Here Comes Rudolph” is The ’60s Invasion’s Rolling Stones’ take on the 1967 stop-motion special.

NOT a parody of The Crystals nor Chuck Berry, “Da Doo Run Run Rudolph” is a gentle folk rock froth from The Not Fur Longs. Love song stickiness. (Title’s just a hook, no actual Rudolph here, for those who care.)

Name Four, too

Yes, the middle reindeer inspire us beyond Vixenation.

“Vixen” as rapped by KentheMan is nasty as it gets BLUE ALERT. This might just be a sex worker.

So, let’s get/to real music with a real rocking number from The Droogettes. “Vixen” is grrl rock recalling the ’80s vinyl-dressed post-punk insouciance. Eyes closed for a small BLUE ALERT.

X-claim: hey (pt. 6)

Hey! I said, Hey! Sometimes, the interjection is just an excuse to slip in the weird. Even about Xmas.

“Hey-Ho, Let the Holly Jolly in” is the BLUE ALERT finale of ‘Another F*cking Christmas Play: A F*cking Musical’ in which the original cast rouse themselves from their cranky torpor and celebrate the holiday. Who Ray?

Amy Rutherford and Amy Stewart from their A Very Special Christmas Time with Amy and Amy rock the show tune poorly (on purpose, come on) with “Hey, C’mon! Merry Christmas!” Whew, out of breath time.

Filksinging from Green Matthews makes medieval merry of “Hey for Christmas!” Is it weird to want these auld soules to shake their bums?!

Patrick Sawers has bypassed Big Assembly by writing his own recital number for the grade schoolers as “Hey Ho It’s Christmas.” Better than most of that cornball crap, ya ask me.

Holiday time = drunk time, according to TheHeyHos. Gnarly rock (almost punk, but not quite) in “Hey Ho It’s Christmas.” Need a little hair of the Yule log there.

More nearly punk is the ‘billy “Hey! Hey! Buy! Buy! (It’s Christmas Time)” from Bathwater Babies. Boy, they’re mad. But they’ll tell you when the song is through.

Getting self-aware weird, Captain Tudmoke belabors rhymes with “Hey Everybody, It’s Christmas Time.” Can you spot the recurring theme?

Kyle Dunnigan (feat. Craig) goes the South Park route with “Hey Everybody It’s Christmas!” Celebrity voices poorly imitated, you know the BLUE ALERT drill.

King of weird for our current purposes is the petite comedy/rock from Mad Monkey: “Hey! Ho! Merry Christmas!” Get it? The ambiguity of the English language, man, i’m telling you.

X-claim: hey (pt. 5)

Hey is a rock ‘n’ pop staple in songs to get us to sing-along. Altogether now.

Red State Update want us to all touch each other (until the song gets ruined) with “Hey It’s Christmas.” They tried.

Just Crackers (family friendly this time) try the pop “Hey Hey It’s Christmas” for all of us to join in. You go ahead.

Eva-Maria Kramer goes full symphonic hymnal with “Hey, It’s Christmas.” Klunk.

Lift those voices! “Hey Hey It’s Christmas Day‘” is watered-down Pacfica-beat for the (churched-up) family as posted by Melissa Lesealii. Itchy, i mean catchy.

Sing along with Stephen Weeks, or not. The polka-tastic “[Hey Ho] Tell Me What You Want for Christmas” requires participation to be family fun. Consider me a conscientious objectifier.

“(Hey Everyone) It’s Christmas Time Again” is that rock song that sounds suspiciously like that other rock song. But Chris James is fully earnest and energetic, so–what’s next?

Leaning into Brit-pop, Brett Vargo’s “Hey Christmas!” comes in loud and proud (DON’T BE LATE!!). You can shout if you want to– i’m good.

“Hey Christmas” is Lucas Hoge’s countryfied pop ballad that expects the crowd to wave lit phones. Couple hallelujahs for good measure. But my cell’s dead. So….

O.K. You want the goose to loosen your chair-sittin’ muscles? Here come The Mavericks with some blues rock (watch out, Jerry Lee Lewis) to push and pull y’all in every which way: “Hey! Merry Christmas!” (’till the cows come home).

X-claim: hey (pt. 4)

Christmas may be largely reverent. No exclamations are countenanced at Midnight Mass. But Hanukkah… well, let’s see.

“Hey! It’s Hanukkah!” is the Jewish Wedding Band’s klezmer party anthem that will get you shouting.

“Hey, Little Dreidel” from Brave Combo also whirligig old world music into funzapoppin’ times.

Geeta Brothers hail us in Punjabi with “Hey Hanukkah” as well. Uh oh, that’s not enough.

Well, well, uhh, Pajamarama kid bops “Hey Ho Hey Holiday” for the non-denominational. Uhm, erm….

The surprising funk of the uncredited “Hey Now” from ‘Hanna Barbera’s Christmas Sing-a-long’ HARDLY mentions Mr. Christ’s Big Day. So, we’ll include that.

Let’s end where we knew we would, full-on Xmas mode. “Hey Now (Merry Christmas)” rocks hard and merely repeats the title on occasion. Since the C-word is parenthetical (and since Watch Out for Rockets is so cool) we’ll end this day’s offering thusly.

X-claim: hello (pt. 2)

Interjections are often shouted, not always loudly, but certainly as attention getters. Try to get Xmas to notice you, singers!

Cesar Anthony Davis syncopates the jazz meandering “Hello Christmas,” as if rando-melodic soaring vocals could turn the ancient holiday’s head.

Nathan & The Zydeco Cha Chas give a warm home welcome to the best holiday ever with “Hello Christmas,” hoping bluesy twanging will lull that merriment into c’mon-in’ on ovah.

David Anstruther finds joy in “Hello Christmas.” This folk-beat alt ornament gets happy not sloppy in celebrating the entrance of 12/25. Understated weee!

Rebecca Gregory’s “Hello Christmas” is a wistful piano-tinkling show-tune with an ecstatic solo of yeah-ahs, liking that day to an old friendship–those were the days. This one gets to me.

Liz Isenberg gets grrly with “Hello Christmas,” an indie, arty, angsty alt-rock moaner of loss and remorse. Not a party.

Hitting those electric guitars as ’twere pre-punk 1969, The Pink Flamingos gnarly up “Hello Christmas” like an ode to joy, opening the door to childlike glee.

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Ouroboros got nothing on the returning Christmas syndrome.

MxPx returns with ANOTHER song about ANOTHER Christmas. “Another Song about Christmas” is lite punk that seems to celebrate more than urinate on. I could box step to it.

Reindeer Tribe garage pop about displacement in “Everyone Together.” It goes on and on, even during another holiday. Fun party music for the downer in us.

Merrill Leffmann divas out quiet piano bar style with “Every Year.” It’s a heartbreaking loss when THIS year isn’t like those others.

Andrew Collins (feat. Monique) performs the childhood fantasy of “Another Christmas Time.” This lyrical show tune gets to the heart of what another really means. Though, it is lame.

What gets us out of this time loop is the reminder of a later time… a New Year. Then we can forget the next Christmas, until the bills come due. “Another New Year’s Eve” is a power ballad from Michael Stanley that sucks the joy out of the season. Is melancholy on your list of resolutions? [You want happy? Try The Treebees‘ own song by that title.][A final boot-kickin’ country anthem by that title hails from Reckless Kelly.]

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Christmas songs about yet more Christmasses?! Fight the redundancy again!

Abandoning modesty, Blink 182 declares their Christmas song is “Not Another Christmas Song.” Perhaps due to the rudeness. Certainly ’tis not the ordinary pop rhythms that distinguish this trinket.

Khalea Lynee’ recalls the broken hearted with her modulated pop “Not Another Christmas Song.” See, without you, bay-bee, there are no more truly Xmas songs. That logic makes this blog go poof-gone.

Peter Dymond Brit-twists the sentiment in “Oh No, Not Another Christmas Song.” Pop? I say pap! The blaring DJ sound effects don’t save this un-song.