Category: rock

The Stupendium is back with “A Very Scary Christmas,” another minor key holiday visit with horror monsters from pop culture–including SCP-173, the concrete killer from the ‘SCP-Containment Breach’ video game. This guy has got some musical chops, so elevate expectations and try this.

After spending too much time on the internet, The Liggetts conclude The holiday’s been here since before year one; Around year 354 the Christians stole it from the Sun (some ref. to the first written mention of Dec. 25 being a celebration, albeit a Roman festival). “It’s Christmas Time Again” is a rock march than breaks down the barriers between Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Solstice, and all–for a good time.

The number of days in a calendar represents forever in some cases. That. Is. A. Lot. Of. Days. Groundhog Day curse?

“Santa’s Little Helpers” is by one of the elves who makes the toys 365. LaTroy Larkins makes this country rap more of a slog than an ADHD dream come true, however, so celebrate responsibly.

‘Whispering’ Bill Anderson takes a minute out of country hit-writing to notice what’s available 365: an alternative to home celebrating. “Waffle House Christmas” is the low-rent fun you suspect it otterbee. Perhaps your waitress would enjoy you leaving behind the gift you didn’t like as a tip.

Echopark itemizes the childish atrocities committed without forethought every day of the last year in the sprightly pop celebration “Christmastime is Here for All (But It’s Not Here for Me).” Way to commit, bro.

Jane’s Villains autotunes the rockin’ “Christmas Song” about how a villain works 365 days a year, so mastering the holidays should be no problem-o. Not that there’d be a tree, or lights, or silent nights….

Highway 401 will take you from Detroit through Ontario to Montreal (where it becomes the A-20). Kaleb Hikele will take this route to come home, and though he was hoping “To Buy You Gold” for Christmas, he now wishes you’d wait for his broke-ass butt to just show up. Garage desperation.

Time to think about the future… the 401K plan. (Which is not a thing so much as it was twenty years ago. What’s the future coming to?)

Fast Eddie’s Bowling Academy (feat. Dave Gomez) has a thing or two to say about consumerism in “Slay Bells.” Santa, being the mad capitalist symbol, is the salesman 401k stocks are enriching him. Boo! Right?

Lamonta gets stuck at a terrible holiday bash with small talk (and offensive subjects) that drive them outside. Rock out to “All I Got for Christmas was Stoned.” (They slip NEED for got in there a couple times, you get the idea.)

Channel 420 mumbles and fumbles through his almost imperceptible rock song “Christmas 420.” Nothing too counter culture here, just wondering if he’ll get the nerve to talk to her.

Styx doesn’t pull much Xmas weight, but if we go digging… “Just Fell In” is a wailing rock/blues period piece about paying the judicial price for robbing a 7-11 (at 8:15). Manic depression may not help him through the long nights, boy-o. Not up the river like he is. Though he is weaving you a basket for Christmas, so that’s like therapy then.

Greenbriar Lane answers ‘Christmas in the Ghetto’ with their Westcoast East L.A. area code based troubles “Christmastime in the 909.” Rollicking rock that’s not rap, no not really. But something’s gotta be done about these kids and these behavioral problems.

The Killers return with another of their killer mini-movie videos. “Dirt Sledding” is all over the place, a hipster poetry dialogue concerning who wants to bring whom what. Red Porsche 944 like Jake In “Sixteen Candles” may be what Santa wants to gift, but the narrator wants it simple: pretty girls, Christmas lights. Driving rock.

An amazing synth rocking family shaggy dog story, “Pink Aluminum Christmas Tree” by Leschen Sessions (feat. Kyle Suppler) begins with drunk dad in a ditch then winds up with the enterprising son cashing in on Ebay to the tune of 953$. Don’t believe it? Listen again!

The past warn’t always golden years, kiddos. Bishops Green rock out a polemic about “Christmas in New York” way back then. Not pretty. Cool tune, though.