The last word on The War on Christmas debate comes from Unsinn Quatsch. Don’t be too happy about anything and you won’t offend anyone (not even mimes nor alpacas). So don’t say Merry Christmas. Don’t say Happy Holidays. Instead restrict yourself to the cry “Apathetic Cryptic Epoch”! This helium-voiced pop jingler hits all the right notes by hitting all the wrong ones. (Although there is a cop-out ending.) Thanks, Jason Pitsch!
Category: pop music
WAR! really?
Perhaps a primer on The War on Christmas speech…
Rob P Rocks has a translation for you in “When They Say Merry Christmas.” It’s not good news, but it’s a sprightly old timey dance tune. (With an Obama epilogue.)
WAR! drill in circles
Let’s throw up our hands and march into the fray! The War on Christmas takes no parishioners!
Slipping in fun war crime metaphors Thaler Pekar gets ’70s pop with his “War on Christmas.” Now that’s a fun massacre.
WAR! can’t we all just get annoyed? (BLUE ALERT)
Are you angry about the War on Christmas? Are you angry enough? Just listen:
Baiting the right wing with taunts, Sweet Lou and the Trent Foundation seem to undermine the left with “The War on Christmas” as extremist amoralism. Rejoice with fun pop rock.
Kyle Motsinger touts out the holiday special tropes for his “War on Christmas,” an increasingly upset and uncomfortable arrangement that heats up the crappy lip syncing easy listening. You say there’s no war?! I’ll show you!! BLUE ALERT!
WAR! sort of
On the other ballot, some find cheer in singing the praise of The War on Christmas for all to hear. It sounds funny when you say the reasons out loud.
Daryl Cherney & the Patriot Act get palsied folk-right with “We’re Fighting the War on Christmas.” Can ya spit tabacky with your tongue in your cheek?
Taylor Ferrera wants to support Kirk Cameron’s 2104 movie ‘Saving Christmas’ with her kicky pop tutorial “Pagans Stole Christmas from Christians.” Take a set, there’s a lot to cover.
WAR! militantly
While exhausting the topic of ‘War on Christmas,’ do not excuse the coincidence of military incursions in late December. Whose taking sides now?
“War on Christmas Day” by Scott Coulter, Tim Di Pasqua, and Tom Anderson is a country weepie about who might not be coming home. In our woke days, it could be either one of them.
Hot Dad gets with the humorous when he suggests arming heavily for the “War on Christmas.” Slow synth pop by way of the ’80s.
WAR! red scare detour
What are Americans really scared of? Each other? Oh, for the days of us v. them that involved other countries (not just dissimilar looking Americans).
Rathergood has those godless Reds co-opting OUR holiday with their sprightly growling “Communist Christmas.” I want a chocolate Trotsky! Erm, i mean, what about the Son of God!?
Shana Lynette, fresh from Pittsburgh, Kansas, made a small splash in our Cold War with her 1983 novelty swinger “Mr. Russian, Please Don’t shoot Down Santa’s Sleigh.” That’ll show ’em.
WAR! making fun of making fun
Flinging his own words back in the speaker’s face is an American sport. Does anyone learn from this lesson? Or does it only lessen the weight of the argument made (stop copying me! no, i mean it, stop it!). You decide.
When Reindeers Collide Inc (from Something Awful) multi-media us a mess with their ironic “War on Christmas and Baby Jesus,” sampling and shouting before a moribund recorder tracing out Auld Lang Syne. Clearly this is against–but against what?
Schmoyoho has some songify fun with hot topics. “Donald Trump’s Christmas Carol” just rollicks along on a pop melody without seeming to realize the life-and-death issue at hand.
WAR! the stand(up)
The best way to take offense is to rant and rave with tongue in cheek. Your mother stinks of elderberry (just kidding)! Or to be gentle while pointing out how much that other guy is foaming at the mouth.
Carrie Rinderer and the American Christian Life United (ACLU) choir won’t let you tell them what to say, but will tell you to boycott all half-assed associates who won’t “Say Merry Christmas.” Lively pop gospel to smooth out the intolerance. (What would JC shop at?)
Roger Weber is gonna say what he wants to say. Which is what you ought not to do. “Say Merry Christmas” is soft pop reminiscent of the ’70s. Oo, ee, baby.
Dependent Claus: some other guy’s first base
Mrs. Claus looks so lonely that one special night. Could just give her a kiss.
“A Kiss from Mrs. Claus” would be the best present. Alt from Hoggle’s Jewelry (Arbor Christmas: Vol. 1).
Lips’ll be locking with the jazzy pop stylings of Baggio with their “Mrs. Claus.” You got them singing. Your fault.
WSLY (feat. Hazen) has been a good boy and offers a sleigh ride for her–and let’s see where it takes us. A kiss? You don’t say! Breathy garage pop for “Hey Mrs. Claus.”