Category: pop music

Santa won’t deliver gifts to your house if you– [1] Are naughty? pshaw, he’ll leave you coal! [2] Have no chimney? didn’t we just cover that?! [3] live in the Projects? we need to talk, you poor thing! The answer is– [4] If You’re NOT Asleep!!

One of the timeless proven methods to encourage somnolence is to sing to the wee ones. Rather than get to their feet and wave lighters, their response is to feel comfort and safety. Then saw logs. [I’ll be honest: i had no idea how many dozens of songs were Xmas lullabies! Figured i’d spend a week on these, but my posts for this entire month include only a fraction of what i found. Holy moly.]

A grand gathering of church choristers mellifluously harmonizing about why this baby king has no crown prolly wouldn’t put me down, but John Rutter and The Cambridge Singers’ “Christmas Lullaby” rises and rises to make its point. Hey Mary.

With a big holy holy holy lead in Danny O’Flaherty tenders his tenor simply to the Celtic mastery of “The Christ Child Lullaby.” Better’n church!

Jason Robert Brown’s musical ‘Songs for a New World’ yields the modernized hymnal “Christmas Lullaby” more about mother power, than sons of men. Solea Pfeiffer’s vocals soar into the rafters and beyond.

Christian pop from P.O.D. sanctifies the unplugged “Christmas Lullaby.” Gentle observations and homilies guide our nighttimes.

What size did the son o’ God sport for feet?

Keziah Kate Gwenaelle begins with “Velvet Stockings” for her family before waffling about her BMI, then eventually asking for God’s grace in this warbling hymnal. Probably read better in the original Czech.

Jeanne Dennis’s “Stocking for Jesus” is that bent kind of carol where righteousness supercedes tuneful music. Holy moly.

“The Third Noel (Christmas Crackas)” brings out The Three Prophets [feat. The Maynooth LGBT Communist Choir]. Despite Jesus not actually getting a stocking in year 0, this social commentary mentions all of that with a sweet beat to dance to.

A Christmas stocking is a marker of time. So’s death.

Kids shouldn’t go hungry at Christmas! comes the refrain for the minute-long punk sermon “Stocking Filler” by way of Popclaw. That kills.

“Christmas Stocking 2009” is soft spoken country sentimentality from Larry Heral about grampa’s stocking and what happened to it. Wah.

“The Devil’s Christmas Stocking” by Helen McCookerybook is a delightful bit of folk fluff wherein Santa and Satan get down to brass tacks and agree to disagree. (I’m thinking Satan didn’t get any stocking fillings.)

“The Angry Kid Merry Christmas Stocking Song” by, i presume, Angry Kid seems pop song pleased with his grisly stuffer treat. But i’m pretty sure somebody died.

Stuck! Did You Say Stuck?!

Encore: Ella Fitzgerald was tricked into recording the could-be-naughty “Santa Claus Got Stuck in My Chimney” back in 1950. Her class elevates it above your gutter double entendres.

Dave Rudolf’s “Santa Got Stuck in the Flue” is a grand country pop treatment over this distressing dilemma. What follows is a series of failed attempts to right this wrong. Funny.

More problem solving from Mighty Magic Pants. Kidsong “Santa’s Stuck in the Chimney” never quite figures it out.

POV from Santa interrupts the musical ‘A Don’t Hug Me Christmas Carol’ when he’s “Stuck in a Chimney.” Still jolly despite the squeeze. Polka pop.

Santa’s not the only member of the Christmas cast to need love!

Again! One of my favorite unrequited ballads is from The Rocket Summer about a delivery helper elf who sees HER one year Xmas eve, then returns again and again for an “Elf Creep.” It doesn’t end well.

Squeaky Z amateurs “Little Elf Dude” about some love that MIGHT withstand bad folk ballideering. Watch out for that BLUE ALERT slip at the beginning.

John Gannon’s “Elf in Love” is a tidy showtune of not-quite-successful trusting for subordinates.

Amy Spanger torch-sings (from ‘Elf, The Musical’) “Never Fall in Love with an Elf.” Buddy is erratic at best, so–yeah.

Youth on Track (feat. Ella and Daddy) jazz/pop improv their way around “Dancing with His Elf.” It’s a mess, but heartfelt.

Altogether now! WE ALL LOVE SANTA!

“Oh Santa (We Love You)” is Eden Riegel’s honkytonk adjacent easy listening call out to the Big Guy.

Dave Dudley quiets us down with a little story about “Reverend Deacon,” the pastor of a poor neck of the woods. He prays, the kids sing how much they love Santa, and happy materialism follows. Half spoken country.

Everybody shout out: “We Love Santa!” Why Michael Scott Dublin (feat. Michael Bates) punctuate the hard hitting blues pop with FM morning show sfx, we’ll never know. Zany, wot?

Who would fall for this fat, old guy?!

Maybe it’s just the wanton shopper who associates Santa with the sexy things she wants for Xmas. In Yulelog’s “Naughty List” the propositions include Mrs. Claus (with a double dildo), and rubbing his ‘baby Jesus ’til the eggnog flows.’ BLUE ALERT!

Or, she fell for him ‘cuz she IS Mrs. Claus, and you didn’t know–(?) The Skivvies (they appear in underwear) mash up several carols for the odd tale of “Santa’s Baby.” That changes everything.

What would be worse is when “Santa’s My Daddy.” The cast of ‘Naughty… but Nice’ take turns with a daughter and a son. But the implications are still oogy.

Dysfunctional Family Band deals with the domestic abuse violence “When I Saw Mama Kissing Santa Claus“–and so did Dad! Jolly light pop, but what a mess.

Cyndi Lauper recounts what could be the most famous faller for Father C with the seasick ragtime-lite pop “Minnie and Santa.” Girl be crazy. This is one of my favorites.

That North Pole fella, he’s kinduvva chick magnet, no?

Michael Gurley folk rocks “My Baby Fell for Ol’ St. Nick” with all the heartbreak of the blues. He wants her back–but, how?

Silver linings for Mr. Cork when “My Wife Left Me for Santa Claus.” He’s got his dog and his booze, he’s fine! For the moment…. Bluesy pop.

More again? BLUE ALERT for the fluid. jobytheartist flies a calmingly psychedelic freak flag for “This Christmas (I’m Boinking Santa).” Only he doesn’t sing boinking.

Cookies and Cream self censor (for comedic effect) in the flaming “Santa’s Big Gift.” Lisping pop.

Also lightly sexual, Six Cents & Natalie electronically pop “Secret Santa (You Could be the One).” It’s more shy than closeted. Like 80/20. Fun.

Santa’s Elves (that’s just the name of the band) parody ‘RESPECT’ with “Just a Little Kris.” They want the kisses awful bad.

The greatest Christmas I ever had, sings out OK2BGAY (feat. Gabriel) was “When Santa Kissed My Dad.” Insistent pop with a soupçon of country.

Hamell On Trial (aka Edward Hamell) folk strums how “Santa Says (Christmas Pandemic).” BLUE ALERT, he’s done with you!

Psychedelic retro pop from Monkey Grippe posits “Santa Says” as more than just a children’s game. Groovy.

Tom Mason jazzes up the pop with “Santa Says Keep It Cool.” You heard him.

Getting ethnic, Colin Buchanan, Greg Champion play “Ryebuck Santa” as a good ol’ boy from Down Under. The kazoo may undercut her gravitas, but don’t mess wittum.

The Creams play “Santa Says” as a seres of dictums from Ol’ Chubby. He seems to have become radicalized, however. Uh oh. Retro pop.