Weird with a word (or two), Brad Clayton dissolves reality in the piano bar ballad “Christmas in Detroit.” He’s a one-way ticket, he’s a two-way radio, and he saw ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ for the third time that day. Finger snaps to his talent.
Slap happy (or losing it?), The Christmas Workshop Band call on you to sing along, sing that song, Sing a song or two. Random lyrics, incessant repetition, hard scat… “Christmas Tree Carol” is a test of sanity. Will you pass?
Determined to get you to “Smile for Christmas,” Tommi Rose counsels: I know this year’s been tough on you, But you came out strong–So sing along To a Christmas song or two. Swinging pop, with a dash o’ country.
The Option knows when it’s “Christmas Time.” That’s when you watch ‘Home Alone.’ And if it’s not apparent, Watching Kevin, ‘Home Alone 2‘ should do it. Overlapping pop chaos.
Leaning into the smolder, Cade Hoppe wants you to be “Home for the Holidays.” He also suggest: Let’s watch ‘Home Alone 2’ on your couch. That’s after he asked about watching the first one, twice.
Sad and lonely, HAVR has a “Quiet Christmas.” Slow pop details all the lacks: No Die Hard 2 on ITV. And that’s the way it wasn’t. Without you.
A fun insider’s tour of Middle Tennessee, The Young Nashvillians take us with light (violin heavy) pop to “Christmas Vacation Time.” Place-name dropping competes with the harmonies; Channel Two says ‘scattered flurries’–but it’ll all be okay.
No, no, no. Not smashing the romantic button here. Sometimes it’s two different people in one song. Take a feature…
For example Matt Ouimet realizes The time is near For two best friends And holiday beer in the over-orchestrated kid(?)song “Christmas Wouldn’t be Christmas Without You.” Watch out for the killer ending.
Also counting family members Wes Borne raps about how I got the whole team and they thick as thieves: Got a good girl with a faithful heart, Two big bros and a brand new niece And parents. Guess that’s more than two total, but “Mistletoe” is party rapping! ‘Suplifting.
Also big with family is Santa Claus. He don’t come around no more in Wild Earp’s rockabilly “Cynical Christmas.” Scandalous? Father Christmas, he don’t come around no more; He’s got two kids in Nashville, he’s got one in Singapore And he don’t pay no alimony and he don’t pay no child support.
Not as crowded is “This Christmas” with Rubber Lightning. This island beat pop worries, Another year unlike any other I thought we’d see a sister or a brother or two. But it hopes.
Sometimes, we slip in the overly sentimental, though. Becca Steiner reminisces about two young faces standing in front of me giggling, wondering if THAT is “The Tree” for Christmas. Generations pass. Tinkly pop that does tug at the pacemaker wires.
Then there’s the righteous. Two little people look up from their beds to wonder all about the mythical elements, including “Where Christmas Goes.” That is, after the 25th. Turns out it never did, according to Sawyer Brown. Slow dance (sorta) country.
Let’s decipher some James Brown. He he sing-talks, Not only to you, to God, number one, To you number two–he means two entities, yeah? “Let’s Make This Christmas Mean Something This Year” may have more than one meaning. Soul, baby.
Sharks Teeth get Dada with their “Marxist Christmas.” Grungey rock that pits Two masters of flesh ‘gainst one another: Jesus and Karl Marx. Not sure who comes out on top. It’s a glorious mess.
Gotta hand it to E. Quipped (feat. Cutright) who masterminded the rap battle “Mcclane vs. McCallister.” With ‘Grinch’-y narration and snarky one-upmanship, these two Christmas legends have at it. The outcome may be unclear in this song, but compare box office totes, my peeps, and you may be surprised.
The two devils in “Hi My Name is Kevin” is a whole ‘nother rap ’bout that movie, wherein The Wet Bandits are the pair. Here they clearly don’t compare, but despair, in need of repair… something something… derriere.
Ballad time from Brendon Dalton and the 1740 Boys Choir, again. During the final hunt of the Urak-Hai for the Halflings, Merry and Pippin, it’s “Christmas for the Ents.” In the aftermath If you should find a halfling (or two) Pick ′em up and sing a song. Great fun.
Even though “There’s No Christmas in Hell,” Bnny Rbbt uses high-pitched pop to point out all the signs of the holidays: Every snow globe′s magic scene Holds two ice skater figurines, f’r example.
God heavens, what else is there three of for Xmas?!
Well, you may have heard of ships. Apparently seeing them from Bethlehem was a show of faith because no body of water is visible from there. Or they were camels under the magi. Nobody much spoofs this hymn, so it’s time for the ol’ blog-meister to dip into his well of wits and share The North Pole Fisherman’s Association’s take:” “I Saw Three Fish.”
With insistent alt rock, Mark Soileau has got to get to his love “This Christmas (Right Now).” I knock three times, nervously waiting… guess what happens next?
Gabby B flaunts it in her power pop “Christmas Day.” Gingerbread cookies and a glass of milk–Stuff my stockings, I might hidе some; One’s for Santa, Three for me. Where’d those stuffed cookies go?
Always room for a rocker that begins Christmas trees are eating the pavement… but when Dionysos continues with I fall in love With three four ankles it have to include “Nicholsong” even with the uncertainty of its holidayishness.
More surrealism from Poncho Boy (feat. Money Mop), rapping Got three bands with the watch so I call it ice cream in a seasonal safari “A Very Poncho Christmas.” Say what?
Counting her blessings in the country strummer “Still Christmas in Nashville” Lori McKenna wishes God bless the server at the meat and three The smile on her face better than mac and cheese. Good on ya. Bless you back. (What’s a meat and three?)
Also counting, the kid of the song give a beggar “Three Little Pennies” in the Doug Stone country tear jerker. After a fake out the kid gets his bike for Xmas. Karma or Christ?
Back to Brendan Dalton with a piano bar ballad to Boromir’s treacherous tragedy in ‘Fellowship of the Ring.’ “A Merryless Christmas” is Pippin singing about losing his bestie as that bad Rohan king gets 3 arrows in his chest (and still fights!). (Merry adds he doesn’t want his holidays Pippin-less.) This is as cool as it gets for nerds.
“Vampire Christmas” is a metaphor for a modern man partier who is sucked dry by the culture. I guess. In the midst of this pop complaint comes Johnny Marsh’s breathless rap about how Nothing truly nothing really really ever lasts forever It kinda feels like living through a three ring fucking circus. Pithy poetry.
Bugged by modern times, Amy Grant soft pops “I Need a Silent Night.” Didn’t used to–there was a time Where people stayed home wishing for snow, Watching three channels on their TV; Look at us now.
Feeling like hell, Beat Happening plays kindergarten instruments for his “Christmas” song. He had sex three times on Christmas resulting in boredom and depression. Experimental pop, but, dude, i think you’re doing it wrong.
See, R J Word knows For “The First Three Hours of Christmas” Our parents aren’t gonna miss us (No)… so they can mess around. R+B/pop seduction.
Well, Meghan Tulles is so melancholic i can’t tell if the “Three Christmases” she spent with the addressed are the only, the last, or the first of a forever thing. Odd semi-country pop ballad.
Fine folk from Dave Almond, but he’s been sniffing pine needles or something, because beneath this tree If you look real close There’s two or three there of you and me in “(A World of) Tiny Lights.” Oooh.
Reeny Smith also waffles with fine piano jazz pop, telling “Dear Santa” she don’t really need nothing. Well, Hoping for a kiss or three, but no worries.
Objectophilia may be the way to go then. Henef claims: This song was made for you Singing those 3 words, I Love You, “Christmas Tree.” Alt pop perversity. The best kind.
Tiffany Houghton and Jay Alan get cozy skipping the big Xmas party [Sleigh bells ringing, oh wait that’s my phone–3 missed calls but we’re still at home] to be alone together and discover how 00you look “Better Without a Sweater.” Sultry pop.
Earlier in the relationship Viceboy asks you to Wear that sweater, and, also, Hi, do you wanna put up a tree with me; I have some ornaments from last year and and a star or three. This flirtatious awkward pop makes for a winning “Snowcity.”
Moving faster, Chloe Bee asks Let’s watch a movie or two or three And hang lights up from all the walls. “Snow Day” takes the pop ‘ship and runs with it.
Without the snow? Nothing good! “The No Snow Blues” pits Bob Sellon’s preparation [Got a new pair of boots, Got some sun screen for my nose, I got three pairs of socks on] against the dry, dry slopes. It’s a Christmas tragedy.
Hawksley Workman finishes up and wrangles “3 Generations” while they’re altogether in one house for a photographic opportunity. Great washtub jazzy pop. Practically Dixieland. Love it.
Measuring is not the same as counting. It’s more like multiplying.
From the album Lipstick II Lipstick Generation absolutely rocks the pop with “Christmastime Machine.” This sci fi conceit may not save Christmas, you’ll have to stay tuned for Lipstick III. I’m in line, like right now!
Speaking of sequels, Monty Python’s “Christmas in Heaven” promises ‘The Sound of Music’ and ‘Jaws I, II, and III.’ A samba classic.
During an “Acid Christmas” 6radley observes We are all curled up by the fire Watching The Santa Clause 3 Then maybe Polar Express, Jingle All the Way, Muppets Christmas Carol… Keep going till we fall asleep… Light pop, believe it or not.
Not sure if he’s coming home from the military or prison, but he’ll be “Covered in Love” when he arrives from Flight number three to Minneapolis in Wonderstate’s middle of the road pop nothingsomuch song.
Bros lists of the Christmas things “These Things Comfort Me.” Three feet of snow makes the list. Peppy pop/rock. I mean, fun times, with clapping and falsetto.
Sassydee feels three feet small with all the mishaps of Christmas. But pop tunes entitled “Mistletoe” gotta end well, right?
Paul the Messenger honors the fam and psalms with toasts: three times! “Xmas” is Carib rock and you’ll need a full glass nearby.
Not as devoted, Radar & Satellite sing Christmas time is here, Time to see people you see twice a year–Or maybe three times if Easter counts . “Party Foul” is not exactly irreverent, but the bass line is fresh. Rock on.
Crushing distantly, Juliet Lyons confides Three towns over There′s someone who’s on my list, then torch sings “Got That Twinkle.” Wishes, dreams, heart noises… it’s all here in fantasy pop music land.
After Tolkien’s trilogy, it’s a “Third Age Xmas (War Ain’t Over),” the curtain call for the survivors of LOTR from Brendan Dalton & The 1740 Boys Choir. This folk rocker springboards off ‘War is Over’–but goes so much further. The end.
Set to someone else’s music “Last Xmas” raps out another story of confusion: I learned a lot 3rd degree, burned a lot…. Tiarre T.P. keeps us guessing.
Tea Fannie frames her “Jingle Bells” with tales of her life, including not liking the cold cold three degrees temperatures. Sultry rap.
Smarmy country pop commands you to “Pick Out a Christmas Tree.” Dan + Shay direct you to go to Top shelf in aisle three and you always do what they sing, don’t you?
The Grinch had a threefold growth that get s a few allusive mentions. I love… watching the Grinch’s heart Grow three sizes, admits Abby Williams before launching into a torchy easy listening ode about being “Not Excited for Christmas.” (Hint: something to do with loneliness.)
Ryley Michael relates a visit from a Christmas ghost and Rudolph made his heart grow three sizes. “20/20 Christmas” is another rap adventure of hope.
The real elixir to all this solitude is Emerson Brophy, who has a real hate-on for the subject of his song: Being a Grinch is not my style, But my heart shrinks three sizes, Every time I see you smile. Yet, no one should be “Alone on Christmas.” So, good thought? Maybe, stay tuned.
Rappers oft enjoy a wordplay, like having sexy girls interested in them for Christmas. Three hos, y’see. Like Santa’s chuckle, aight? Most of these are boys being nasty a-hole Boyz. But we’ll allow some near-mysogynistics: “Iced Out Christmas” by Dustinfool (feat. Baoii) is (practically) good clean fun.
“All The Way” dares to rap about love. But Chance the Rapper and Jeremih refrain: Hey, I got three hoes on the way (on the way) Got ’bout three hoes on my sleigh (I make it sleigh), so i dunno. Just having fun, i guess.
Snoop Dogg (ft. C.S. Armstrong & Lil Half Dead) bring us “3 Hos for the Holidays.” Swirly and twirly hijinx, Got that?
Gettin’ BLUE ALERT “Holiday Spirit (Merry Christmas)” by Ray Rav (feat. Chillin’ Chad) is still adolescent wilding rap: On my wishlist I want a banana porche, 3 hoes like I’m Santa Claus–Kiss under the missletoe. Good dirty fun.
Turns out when white people sing sprightly pop “3 Hos” is actually about Santa’s catch phrase. Kiesza & Chris Malinchak go full show tune pop. Still BLUE ALERT, though.
Nostalgia is killing Lori McKenna, stuck out of state and yearning for that family portrait she no longer has–country pop style: Three sisters in pajamas at the top of the stairs, Mom and Dad saying, y’all wait right there. “North Pole” is as far as that memory, y’all.
Evocative blues-pop from Rickie Lee Jones pictures: The streets are all empty, But for we three Queens Who follow the fire Of an old guitar That burns so bright Over the local bar. “Christmas in New Orleans” is like that.
Matt Dorrien moves from Portland in time to have “Christmas in L.A.” Soft rock to pick the neighborhood: Three decades ago Wasn’t safe after dark. But it’s gonna be okay. ‘Cuz Christmas.
MxPx want you to have enough cheer in the rocking “Christmas Day.” How much is enow? There’s Chistmas cheer, enough to last you three whole years! Get some!
One of my favorite comedy ‘bits’ about being split up for Xmas is “Xmas Blues” by Big Tyme. In this spoken word masterpiece, Otis is banging on the door wanting Bonquisha to let him in for a Merry Christmas. He admits three years ago, he bought crabs instead of ham… but this year’ll be better.
Sadder is Ondara’s “Mother Christmas.” Oh, I want my mother here for Christmas; Oh, it’s been three years and oh I miss her goes the lament in bluesy pop. Three years? I guess that’s enough time to think about what you did.
Rebound time with The Kota, autotune rap/R+Bing who confesses, My heart was broke three years ago; I don’t wanna spend thе holidays here alone–My hеart still been healing though. “Christmas on the Channel” is the answer to seasonally affected time.
Kristin Hope Key is having a bad season: Late for work three weeks in a row… and so much worse! But in her best jazzy horrid audio she torch sings “All I Want for Christmas is Forgiveness.” What would the birthday boy do?
Carbon Leaf is picking and grinning in the luscious countdown “Christmas Child.” Starting three weeks out they run us to the breathless conclusion with joy. Pop by way of bluegrass.
Is 4 in the morning late or early? Zac Schultze Gang notices Just when I am thinking That the night is at an end, I end up in Coyotes and I’m there till 4AM in “A Medway Christmas.” That’s one of those ancient type locales in eastern England; so pop Brit rock.
Four o’clock, and I’m still up is also a problem for the poet-troubadour Cyrus Dali Vesuvala on his electric softt pop “Christmas Morning.”
Lil Kuzi recalls his Christmas List finally done I was up til four, when he heard a sound… But, BLUE ALERT it wasn’t nothing but his over imaginative conscience. “Saint Nick” lands like rap existentialism.
King Virtue couldn’t wait, so like most kids he’s up by 4 A.M. in “Christmas is My Favorite Holiday.” Fun rock with lots of pop music tinseled over it.
The Veras rock the family get-together, though Grandad‘ll be sound asleep by ten to four. “Have a Merry Christmas Time” is still a party and a half.
Destinee Maree is all about the home for the holidays. [Dinners at 4 and you better not be late.] She even swaps out boots, coats and rings off the gift list for the most precious things Love, life, family. “Everything” is lulling R+B sweetness.
Cainn9ne (feat. Trey K) raps the at-home life as well, but Granny out here baking cookies: We ate em after four–so there are house rules. “It’s That Time” may have multiple meanings.
Silver Mouth notes the sun setting at a quarter past four, so maybe this siren pop is more southernly. Regardless “Hold On.”
Back to Christmas morning. The Stew Boys are begging BLUE ALERT! for Christmas off, but instead they’re up at 4 A.M. to “Make the Stew.” Hope you’re happy. The plodding pop makes me quite so.
Even Blurry Videos prog rocks the terrible scene at the gravesite around the holidays: Today marks five years Since the accident on Mount Bliss. “On This Christmas Eve” is strangely upbeat in its journey to closure. Xmas spirit?
3LW has a problem: My man Came to the door, my gift in his hand; We been going out for four or five months… But, when gift is revealed they can only exclaim “Ahh Hell Nah” in their sweetest R+B rap.
Is five months long enough? Kyle Deutsch reveals on “You Told Santa“:We five months over now: I hear the sleigh bells ring it’s Christmas time again And I just can’t believe that you’re not here with me. R+B with a hopeful refrain.
Young Mister turns the tables on the kids when he admits Now it’s only the end of November, 5 weeks and counting until I get to let you open your presents and watch your heart as it fills about his young son. “Christmas, Come Early This Year” he wants with fine indie folk pop.
Wanting to be the “Elf” Katie Dwyer · Sunflower Summit · Jessie Max present an unconventional holiday gift-giving anticipation: I quite like my boyfriend; It’s only been five weeks–I dunno if he loves me, But I know he likes His face in my double D’s! Indie pop for when the kids aren’t around.
Is five the best age for Christmas Day?? Valerie Warntz misses it: Now I can’t feel this Magical Mood like I am 5 years, she mourns in “Oh, Winter,” a sad, melodic indie about lost innocence–right when you need it.
Mentally I’m at a five But it helps that spirit’s high, chortles Carl Does Music for the industrial pop “Christmas Now.” This de-aging is like temporary insanity.
Cheesy show tune from Lea Michele admits that you may Find me on Broadway or at the ballet And I’m five years old again, Making my wish list, but all I wish is For another “Christmas in New York.” Calling the Hallmark Channel.
It’s the Same feeling since I was five, adds Tori Kelly with yodeling pop country childishness. “Kid Again on Christmas” is all the R+B feels, but white.
Was it all that, tho? In The Beach Boys’ “Santa’s Beard” the little bro stood in line and he shook like a leaf; He’s only five and a half goin’ on six. But then he exposes the Santa imposter! Big brother seems to suffer more trauma. Surf pop.
BLUE ALERT Eazy-E admits: I used to believe in Saint Dick when Elvis was alive, But all the fucking bullshit got played when I was five. “Merry Muthafuckin’ Xmas” is a party rap with no inhibition.
Back when I was five Christmas was magical. But “Christmas Lights” trigger regret for Rauf Yusuf with swinging pop regrets over family loss. Growing up’s hard.
Helen Arney sings of David who When he was 5 years old, A snowman knocked him out cold. “Never Built a Snowman” seems to be the worst of his worries in this epic pop tragedy. What a story.
Miracles matter at this age. In “Christmas Cheer” HXLT hasn’t much for his five year old son, but the anthem rock reveals his brother is going card max out for the nephew. That’s a holiday ending. Take it.
Tremulo on cliches, five-year-old identity vs. role confusion, swirly pop music… “That’s What Christmas Really Means to Me,” according to Paul & Friends. ‘Nuff said.
A long dead five-year -old wrote “The Old Christmas Letter” found in an auctioned desk. Eagleman Band strum and plod their way through this tear-jerker with listless country.
…there’s a place, yeah, that I know Where you can fall in love like you’re five years old, says Matt Luneburg in the light pop mysticism of “Christmas Land.” Despite wars and strife, we have a refuge for our inner litt’lun. Good.
In “For Christmas Sake” by New Found Glory we get a better sense of the young: Eyes wide, it’s Christmas morning: Five years old, I’m hoping GI Joes; And Castle Grey Skull would make me the king of the block. They conclude, So I stay young Like the way it was… For Christmas sake. Well put. Light rock.
Hard rock to express hard BLUE ALERT feelings: It breaks my heart to know that you don’t miss us; I’m buried under six feet of fucking snow. Derek Christiansen uses edible metaphors like “Egg Nog” to register his disgusted disappointment. Hardcore.
“6Ft Winter” by LEADR, Wundr., Alexander Tang is a terrifying prospect: 6ft winter… Santa’s not around… I know the sun will shine again. Gentle pop, just to add to the edginess.
Leaning towards a vacation, Ben Danaher (feat. Ashley Ray) But I can’t leave with 6 feet of snow on the ground. He soon realizes it’s “Just Like Christmas” to kick you when you’re down. Cowboy country.
Figurative about the snowfall, LYGA suffers rejection “Under the Snow.” I’ll stand outside ignoring the cold Shivering in memory Til I’m six feet under in snow. Pop doldrums.
A strange metal attitude fills Albert Fishing Trip’s macabre sprightly folk pop “Blanket of Snow.” All the world is filled with glee But oh no, no, not me Because grandma is dead now And grandpa is six feet under Covered in a blanket of snow…. Just a little mortal perspective for the holidays. And holy shit.
