On Track to Xmas: Why to the North Pole, of Course!

Does Santa use a train? Honey, Santa uses it all! That train makes the most commotion with its locomotion, though, so give it some heed.

Ginger St. James sets the mood with her stentorian country: announcing (and whoo whoo-ing) more than singing “Christmas Train.” What a toot!

Ben Browning strains soft rock through a boy band screen to deliver “Christmas Train” into your elevator music queue.

Tom Hanks (and some kids) chortle out “The Polar Express” as a showtune to introduce the uncanny valley of the 2004 movie. Brrr.

Jake Hadrick takes this conceit and murderlizes it with the excessively filtered pop of “Pole Express.” Jump! Escape! Hurry!

On Track to Xmas: Full Steam Ahead!

I think i can party i think i can party i think i can party….

Booze Train Christmas” sums up the experimental alt-pop of Madslack Mike. The slurry invite, the wobbly rhythms, the hypnotic repetition… i’m gonna need some fresh air.

Screamin’ garage from The Hot Dogs feels like a booze-fest in “Rolling on the Train.” Reverb on repeat is a hangover and a half.

Ben & Tucker take the “Magical Rainbow Train” to Christmas: seeing snow elephants, feeding polar bears, eating cookies. Don’t ever wake up, boys! Silly ad-lib pop.

On Track to Xmas: See Something, Say Something!

Mary Blige sashays the rap with her “Christmas in the City.” On the train is merely one symptom of ogling, bustling, and dealing. No where else, though. A love letter to urbanity, yeah.

Byron “Mr Talkbox” Chambers also raps the joy of the city in “Christmas Time.” A bit more Jesus and family, here. The train comes, so more of both. I guess.

The last train home can be a bummer, too. Scouting for Girls caffeinates the pop of new-found romance when they felt like “Kids at Christmas.” But, she’s gotta leave for home for the holidays.

KWADI seems sad, but’s really excited to go “Home for Christmas” on the train. Light piano pop. It’s complicated.

Faithful Johannes takes the train to the city also to shop. He’s fretting because “You Don’t Like Christmas Songs” and he doesn’t know what to get you. But this sprightly pop with the whispery complaining might win you over. Well done (for a therapy session).

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Hernando Tangjaya feels that when “It’s That Time of the Year” it’s pretty great. Sharing, caring, skiing high and low, you know. Piano pop that doesn’t know when to stop.

Kymm bums us out with the heavy metal instrumental “Dansk Puzzle with Boobs in Ski Lodge.” Don’t be fooled by the nomenclature, it’s relentless riffs.

Speaking of relentless, the “Ski Slope Safety Song” from the video game Vac action simulator must be sampled to be believed. It’s not what you think.

Someday Cafe (feat. Andrea Schmidt) fall through the season pass when they wind up in a “Snowfall.” The magical beauty greeting gives that old run-around for directions: You go through the flannel fairway, down the cinnamony slopes; We’re a common destination for the happiest of folks. But the charming pop makes this weird detour so worth it. Bravo.

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Thaores worries about the slippery slope of the world, then reveals the way to “Celebrate Christmas.” Enjoy the fire, those who have a fire in their homes. Hallelujah and other cheesy pop stuff.

Dirty Dollar Beatz engineer an icy dance in their electronic backdrop “Skiing Beat.” It’s like mechanical.

The Penguin Twins’ Penguin Dance” involves slippin’ and slidin’ up and down the slopes. There’s also handclapping (no flipping). Michael Scott (feat. Maurice Walsh) saves the blog with awesome pop dance novelty.

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By turns glad, sad, and mad “Skiing Down A Hill Of Dead Fishies” by golden diskó ship creates a club world of snowy hell. Pop mash up.

Childish instrumentals from Soniq Theater create a roller coaster mood in “Alpine Skiing.” Cool beans.

I DO understand the metaphorical nature of skiing, what with all the drug connections to cocaine… Coyote Rumors takes “Skiing Down” into the sexual arena. Without getting blue, he’s sorry–i guess. Mopey pop.

Can you handle the sexy stuff? “Alpine Skiing” is the punk-ish rock dance instruction from Pansy Division. It starts with a pole in each hand

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Quality Kidd locks on to a def beat and stays there for studio electronica “Ski Resort.” This works as backdrop for some tense dramaturgy.

Dullfenita tickles the solenoids for the electronica “Skiing.” The powder is like percussive, bro.

Experimental alt-jazz from Thunted Hex slices and dices lyrics and hunger sounds for “Up on the Ski Slope.” I’m so confused.

Outsider Joye Bell asks “Let’s Go Skiing.” This fun proclamation skirts Motown and pop and becomes it’s own rocking thang. I’m ready.

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Blippi presents the tutorial “Let’s Go Ice Skating.” Slick pop kidsong which insists falling is okay. Zamboni solo!

Rachel Rambach (Listen & Learn Music) endeavors to entertain the wee ones with “Skating ‘Round the Rink,” more kidsong but without lessons. Just doing it.

Kahika is just “Skating Through,” or getting by, draping along, or muddling through… you know, managing somehow. Almost reggae inspired jazzy slow pop.

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Marcus Buddy Vincét recommends “Ice Skating” as a palliative for grief in this experimental jazzercise. Eerie.

Håkon Lervåg uses “Ice Skating” as a crowbar to demolish his relationship in this quiet folk cry for help.

Tod Got Overexcited! comes to the rescue with “Ice Skaters Lovers Time,” a song about Christmas and Santa and voyeurism and awkward moves (and vocals). Bebopping pop. Just what i needed.