Category: jazz

As Seen on TV: Hotel Transylvania/Milo Murphy’s Law/Teen Titans Go

The Adam Sandler toon movie series landed on Disney last year, but both are smart and rich enough to add some talent. “The Christmas Wrap Song” is kid mummy unleashing his inner present preparer for a few seconds in the stale comedy conflict.

Heir apparent to Phineas and Ferb, again features colorful Americans interacting with a soupçon of fantastical oddities. “Christmas, It’s Not a Time of the Year” is only glimpsed here, but showcases the creative team’s talent. Thank you.

The mutant DC spinoff that has cultivated cult followings spins out an occasional tune of ADHD length including “All Hail the Jolly Fat Man” (sweet jazzy fanfare).

As Seen on TV: Gossip Girl/Riverdale

Let’s just imagine the show by the music it picks, ‘kay?

“Oh It’s Christmas” by The Rosebuds is bouncy alt-pop fun, setting the instamood to light and flirty.

The Weepies garble through “All That I Want” for a contemplative but moody thinky scene.

“Chrismakwanzakah” by The Dan Band gets our party rebel on, but fun-sized and definitely not threatening.

Again, play the hormone level of these tunes off the will-they/won’t-they tensions of the show i won’t get around to.

Fascinations Grinds Chorus adds a pop ‘billy (shudder) to “This Christmas (Underneath the Christmas Tree)” so i guess at least one of ’em are hopin’ to be humpin’.

“I Know You’re Real St. Nicholas” is lounge folk with whispery undertones. Must be during foreplay.

As Seen on TV: The Flash/Supergirl

The WB has rejuvenated superhero TV into a hip gorgeous young party with the dark (Arrow), scowling (Black Lightning), light (Legends of Tomorrow), and silly (Supergirl). But this journey quest for destiny out-Joseph Campbells the other beat-’em-ups.

The music is pretty cool too.

Hayley Sales sings “Christmas is Leading Me Home” in the sweet whispery love of hearth and family that this show has trademarked. Snuggle-licious.

The Rosebuds’ pop “I Hear Click, Click, Click” with just a tiny edge, befitting the faux suspense of the series. Uh oh, is he really dead? [This song also backgrounds on Supergirl, which has one other half listenable song “Gonna Be Christmas” by Bob Burger: a middle school dance anthem.]

Jules Larson sings “Honey I’m Home for Christmas” slapping on the saccharine sweetness. Uh oh, are they really in love?

And then, the heartbreak. Ponyboy sings “(Please Don’t Leave Me on) Christmas Eve.” Bluesy.

Andrew Kingslow and Laura Dowling sing “Christmas is That Time of Year” merely celebrating the celebration. Ah, millennials.

Amping up the irreverence, “Christmas Dan” by The Rosebuds reveal the new route the show takes in season 2. Grooviness ensues.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEek2nm63kQ

As Seen on TV: JAG

This show only lasted 10 seasons, so it’s no NCIS. But this show gave us a couple songs. Guest star Erica Gimple sings “We’ll Catch Up” (not too Christmassy and only half a song, but amazingly uninterrupted) and “Wishing It were Christmas” with a USO PSA. Now that’s a holiday assault.

As Seen on TV: The Pink Panther

Silent film for kids, this long running cartoon series without dialog appealed to the imaginative and the dense alike.

A 1978 special “A Pink Christmas” featured the rewriting of an O. Henry story (used more than once for Xmas TV series). Instead of dying at the end of “The Cop and the Anthem,” however, it’s Santa and magic food. Despite muteness, the show had a couple songs, including “Yuletide Spirit”

and “Wonderful Wintertime”

sung by St. Michaels Day School  Choir. Also “Jolly Holiday” covered by grown up fan jazz stylist Marian Hortens (w/The M Sandberg Duo). Cool.

Presents of Mine: so bad

What’s worse than NO presents for Christmas? Bad presents. Some givers just have a knack.

Of course, the classic here is the comic parody “The Twelve Gifts of Christmas” by Allan Sherman. Surely you’ve heard this one. And all that other stuff.

Annoying Orange you might suppose gives terribly, just as it sings “Christmas is for Giving” terribly. Kidsong crap.

The stupid techno song apparently is “This is Your Crappy Christmas Present.” Cosmicity. Now dance.

A Taylor Swift parody i’ve used before (‘Blank Space’) addresses the “Bad Gift.” Free Beer Productions try their best.

Whit Hill deliver us unto wonderful bluegrass with “Jasper’s Worst Christmas.” Pajamas!! (Yet, the brat deserved no less.)

BLUE ALERT Lil Poverty Angels work the system with “Bounced Checks as Christmas Gifts.” Electro-rap with an edge.

Stars from the Nick channel appear in a holiday special of some comic merit preaching how “Bad Giftin’ Grannies” are what you deserve, you thoughtless punks. Pop hip hop.

Axis of Awesome present the jazz showtune “What a Terrible Gift” like a piano bar downer. What a Great song.

Presents of Mine: i’m shaking to open up

What’s in that Xmas box? WHAT IS IT? Feel it, heft it, shake it! Open it!

A wonderful parody i’ve shared earlier is the Spaff master Dave Rudolf pranking us with “What Present’s This?” No tag? But, it’s enormous! Mine!

Less decipherable is the electronic metal of Kiwi in “What’s in the Present Box?” What a mash up!

Kidsong wants to ruin the fun with proper behavior in music. “Don’t Shake the Presents” by Gerry and The Crocodettes warns about spoiler alerts or some such humbuggery. Faw. Pretty good ragtimey rock.

“Little Wrapped Gift” from Rough Shop harmonizes some kid folk about impatience. Nice.

Another gutbuster for me is Toby Turner riffing on the Creed ‘Arms Wide’ song with “Who Opened the Presents.” Damn i like this one. (Some censoring for your viewing comfort.)

Less hilario is Jayden Rodrigues with “Open Presents Time” to Gangnam Style. Yeah.

Cool jazz from Kevin Kammeraad and Friends about “Opening Gifts.” They were in a hurry and (even with scat interlude) got ’em opened in one minute.

Presents of Mine: the old switcheroo

Santa gives presents. How ’bout we reciprocate? (No–above and beyond milk and cookies.)

“Let’s Give a Present to Santa Claus” from Rosemary Clooney is so syrupy the best she can offer is peace and goodwill to men. That’s the present. Jesus.

Chanting kidsong from Scott Fagan also cornerstones the love we feel for the Big Deliverer. “A Christmas Present for Santa Claus” seems to be the present. Hope you kept the receipt.

Eddy Arnold leaves a cooler “Present for Santa Claus:” a flashlight! Useful (if no Rudolph)!

Although Raymond Wolf subvocalizes his tambourine pop “A Present for Santa,” i think he wants to give charity. What?

WATCH OUT–Sarah Taylor claims “I’ve Got a Present for Santa” but seems to have to be undressed to give it. Bossa nova suggestive jazz for a present you can actually get your hands on.

Presents of Mine: specifically BLUE

Very special presents might be behind closed doors.

Two for one: NewSong’s “The Christmas Shoes” is a merciless manipulator of mush (poor kid wants his dying mom to git a present). The Robert Lund parody “The Christmas Thong” slaps middle class morality ‘cross the balls. Thank you, Spaff.

Margaret Cho and Red Peters open “The Christmas Gift.” It’s fellatio. BLUE ALERT

I’ll let you work out the naughtiness of the riddim from Popcaan in “Christmas Gift.” Yes, it’s BLUE. But a great dance tune.

I like the sly sultry bluesy jazz of BadaBing BadaBoom better. “I’m Your Present” says Go Mae West, Young Man. Double entendre rawr.

Presents on Mine: quit gifting yourself

Some also rans in the gargantuan category of Love Present for Christmas deserve some partial listening to.

Maria Aragon (w/Liona Boyd) corrida pop on “My Special Christmas Present is You.” I like how hard it is to identify the genre.

Special needs Guys and Dolls have an actual message in their pop folk “Don’t Worry About Presents This Christmas (Just Give Me Your Time).” No, they can’t sing, but they can make you feel pretty awful about yourself.

Hot (but slightly square) jazz from Gordy Pratt (feat. Christina Watson) seduces you with “I’m a Present.” Clever mom wit.