Take a Card: addresser

Grasping at straws we include a (fine) song from Rob Snarski what sings the inscription on the “Christmas Card from a Drunken Sailor.” I wish the (few) cards i got had so much writing in them! Dreamy alt folk.

Country gospel from Christopher Toland honoring “Mama’s Christmas Card for You.” Reverentially formulaic.

Spoken country from Merle Haggard belaboring every detail on “Grandma’s Homemade Christmas Card.” Where’s the 5$?

A Christmas Card from Daddy” by Mike Bryant lets me know what to get Daddy in return: singing lessons! Yikes.

Also all heart and no caliber, Noel Delisle nasal-croons “Christmas Card from a Servicemember.” Quit with the jolly, get guilty feeling.

Same Sex Mary and Jack Johnson bring it home with “Christmas Card from a Gary in Las Vegas.” It’s not a straight parody of the Tom Waits ‘Hooker’ non-Xmas song, but spiritually, it’s beholden. (Eventually it gets ‘billy rager-garage BLUE ALERT [!?].)

Take a Card: jazz

The revolution against tonality takes many forms. The genre jazz is as widespread as is category music. All it needs is a little unpredictability, though enormous range doesn’t hurt.

Starting country, wandering through girlband, Brooke White edges into jazz with “Christmas Card,” a pro-con list of some considerable melody.

Crazy piano meanders through Anine Stang’s “Christmas Card.” More girl power balladeering, but this is a horror movie of a song.

Boy jazz vocals can be a stretch (to cracking), but Kirk Talley gives it the ol’ falsetto try with his “Christmas Card.” Get the dogs out of the room.

The pretty but crazy stuff sounds like Teresa James excruciatingly scrutinizing “The Christmas Card” she may or may not send to you. Wild clarinet improv while she considers.

Sing a Song of Singing Songs: be cool

Let’s take a moment and find something not so wacky or weird. Are there songs about songs that be cool?

NiknJaps does exactly what i wanted: a pop experiment about the process of writing down the Xmas Sound. “My Christmas Song” comes in short, but sweet. Cool dat.

Finn McGinn & the Muddguards narrate the whole stage show (like in ‘Piano Man’) in unironic country (like that’s possible).”So Let’s Sing” celebrates best it can, given what’s given. So, that’s cool.

Glenn Trujillo and Rich Wenzel go deep into their alt-folk past for “This Christmas (Sing for Christmas).” It’s spiritually cool.

Kurt Elling settles your hash with piping hot jazz. “Sing a Christmas Carol” tootles around the canon, but rousts yon spirits brightly. Tell me that’s not cool.

As Seen on TV: Hotel Transylvania/Milo Murphy’s Law/Teen Titans Go

The Adam Sandler toon movie series landed on Disney last year, but both are smart and rich enough to add some talent. “The Christmas Wrap Song” is kid mummy unleashing his inner present preparer for a few seconds in the stale comedy conflict.

Heir apparent to Phineas and Ferb, again features colorful Americans interacting with a soupçon of fantastical oddities. “Christmas, It’s Not a Time of the Year” is only glimpsed here, but showcases the creative team’s talent. Thank you.

The mutant DC spinoff that has cultivated cult followings spins out an occasional tune of ADHD length including “All Hail the Jolly Fat Man” (sweet jazzy fanfare).

As Seen on TV: Gossip Girl/Riverdale

Let’s just imagine the show by the music it picks, ‘kay?

Oh It’s Christmas” by The Rosebuds is bouncy alt-pop fun, setting the instamood to light and flirty.

The Weepies garble through “All That I Want” for a contemplative but moody thinky scene.

“Chrismakwanzakah” by The Dan Band gets our party rebel on, but fun-sized and definitely not threatening.

Again, play the hormone level of these tunes off the will-they/won’t-they tensions of the show i won’t get around to.

Fascinations Grinds Chorus adds a pop ‘billy (shudder) to “This Christmas (Underneath the Christmas Tree)” so i guess at least one of ’em are hopin’ to be humpin’.

“I Know You’re Real St. Nicholas” is lounge folk with whispery undertones. Must be during foreplay.

As Seen on TV: The Flash/Supergirl

The WB has rejuvenated superhero TV into a hip gorgeous young party with the dark (Arrow), scowling (Black Lightning), light (Legends of Tomorrow), and silly (Supergirl). But this journey quest for destiny out-Joseph Campbells the other beat-’em-ups.

The music is pretty cool too.

Hayley Sales sings “Christmas is Leading Me Home” in the sweet whispery love of hearth and family that this show has trademarked. Snuggle-licious.

The Rosebuds’ pop “I Hear Click, Click, Click” with just a tiny edge, befitting the faux suspense of the series. Uh oh, is he really dead? [This song also backgrounds on Supergirl, which has one other half listenable song “Gonna Be Christmas” by Bob Burger: a middle school dance anthem.]

Jules Larson sings “Honey I’m Home for Christmas” slapping on the saccharine sweetness. Uh oh, are they really in love?

And then, the heartbreak. Ponyboy sings “(Please Don’t Leave Me on) Christmas Eve.” Bluesy.

Andrew Kingslow and Laura Dowling sing “Christmas is That Time of Year” merely celebrating the celebration. Ah, millennials.

Amping up the irreverence, “Christmas Dan” by The Rosebuds reveal the new route the show takes in season 2. Grooviness ensues.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEek2nm63kQ

As Seen on TV: JAG

This show only lasted 10 seasons, so it’s no NCIS. But this show gave us a couple songs. Guest star Erica Gimple sings “We’ll Catch Up” (not too Christmassy and only half a song, but amazingly uninterrupted) and “Wishing It were Christmas” with a USO PSA. Now that’s a holiday assault.

As Seen on TV: The Pink Panther

Silent film for kids, this long running cartoon series without dialog appealed to the imaginative and the dense alike.

A 1978 special “A Pink Christmas” featured the rewriting of an O. Henry story (used more than once for Xmas TV series). Instead of dying at the end of “The Cop and the Anthem,” however, it’s Santa and magic food. Despite muteness, the show had a couple songs, including “Yuletide Spirit”

and “Wonderful Wintertime”

sung by St. Michaels Day School  Choir. Also “Jolly Holiday” covered by grown up fan jazz stylist Marian Hortens (w/The M Sandberg Duo). Cool.