Category: jazz

Again?! Steel Panther set the amps to MOIST with a hair metal tribute “Sexy Santa.” Yikes!

Jody Quine bebops some R+B lounge torch singing with “Got My Eye on You, Santa.” Despite Big Mr. C’s reciprocation for a mo’, feels creepy.

After hours lounge tinkling helps Emma Wallace quiet the siren in “Santa, Take the Night Off.”

Sky Vaux Fuller w/Chasen Hampton confesses to a snowman “Santa I love You.” He never lets one down, always comes through, nothing he can’t do–sound too good to be bubble gum pop?

The band Harris waxes angelic with their “2013 I Love Santa.” Children sing the darnedest things.

StarFish lead the kids in a noise-repeating row with “I Love Santa Claus.” No Simon Says, just follow along with this grand ukulele kidsong. (Everybody pinch your bum!)

Better novelty is the toy piano with the cracking voice of an underager: “I Love Santa Claus.” Dixieland jazz from Paul Thomas!

Andrew Hyatt wants us to know “Santa Is A Good Ole Boy.” Bubba blues outlines his redneck tendencies, but with adoration.

Alabama tries out surf rock (?) for a holiday floater: “Ain’t Santa Cool.” Seems to be less of a question than an accusation.

Kidsong posted by a teacher for her kids to learn, this ‘rap’ involves stomping and clapping, but still rocks (some). “Santa is the Man” may entertain.

Carlos Fandango tries some Elvis/Chuck Berry for a bit of all right amateurism in “Mr. Santa Claus, Baby (You’re a Real Cool Guy).” Sadly, he wants the Great One to supply a present he hasn’t acquired yet for his baby. Flattery, maybe. Goodness, definitely. Bluesy.

“Cool Cat Santa Claus” is the monotone praise from Donald Miclette. It sounds like an HR complaint, but’s really appreciative. More blues-ish.

Frankie Velvet & The Mighty Veltones warn: You better be good… he’s got a baseball bat!But, never fear: “Santa is a Real Cool Cat.” Bluesy jazz that’s sweet and sour–you’ll want to sing along.

Contoy’s (feat. achie elGhazaoui) “Gone Bald” is a Christmas cry for help. Club rock of the lowest elements.

Rhett & Link (& friends) of Good Mythical Morning take us on a bit of a detour with the driving pop of “Christmas Face.” Tinsel mustaches and Christmas tree beards make this puff piece hair-relatable.

Matthew Bright drawls piano bar for “I Can’t be Going Bald This Christmas.” Seems that, out of love, he drank some chemicals to shrink and…. this happened. That’s what i heard him say.

Harve Mann depicts Santa who, during what could be a mid-life crisis, goes nuts with a razor. “Santa Shaved His Beard” as well as got piercings and tattoos for a whole new, slightly country look.

Watch Reggie Run seems less worried when “Santa Shaved His Beard.” This retro rock settles on the descriptor weird. Guess it’s his prerogative.

VGMD is even cooler with “Santa’s Shaving His Beard.” Jazzy kid blues rationalize that he just oughta in the summertime (and those toenails!). [Caution: this is the product of a Sam & Max fan and not an actual tie in to one of the best cartoon series ever.]

Lookin’ for fight? Look no further than the beginning of the shopping season, quippily termed “Black Eye Friday” by Bad Detectives in their cool rockabilly.

“It Ain’t Christmas (‘Til the Walmart Greeter Gets Trampled to Death)” is experimental jazz scat from The Hot Buttered Elves. Improvvy so-called humor.

Woody Guthrie’s “1913 Massacre” gets a gentler cover from Otis Gibbs. This Christmas party for mine workers locked in their hall whilst being burned to death by strike-busters goes down pretty hard, so thanks for that.

Holee cow. Let’s dial it back a bit with The Non Traditionals clickety clacking some gay 1890s ragtime for the case of “Simon Norman.” His assault will affect many since he puts stones into snowballs. Now we’re fighting dirty!

Racism gets more screen time these days, ‘cuz there’s more screens. Always had it, always will. Talking about it should help, but i don’t see it. Golden rule, fools!

White supremacy has reared its ugly head before in the blog. But, there’s always room for one more! “Blond Hair Blue Eyed White Baby Jesus” is the ironic pop triumphal from Hunteroninski. Catchy yet troubling.

Dave Goody milks the humor out of folky “Santa Claus is a Racist” with hilarity like the ‘White Christmas’ song proving his thesis. No new ground here.

Luxemburg Trio belts out the anthem “Flip The Table” as a tribute to the Christmas family dinner with older, narrow-minded relatives (Fuck You Uncle Mike) (so, i guess, BLUE ALERT). Taking control back with more bad language. (This song suffers from concept album chatter at the end… go with it.)

Funny story, “A Kickstarter for Christmas” is when Daddy gives all the gift money for the kids to buy a racist hot dog stand. Great bluegrass, but a confusing lower economic social status here from Haschel Cedricson.

“Chinese Frog Legs for Christmas” is more Salvador Buttersworth folk stumbling through his limited wiki to honor the buffet he can get on 12/25.

“Cultural Appropriation Christmas” goes after First Nationers, Jamaicans, other Latins… uh oh–there’s black face. Cat Named Norris offers an uke-y olive branch to the lesser cultures… It’s not racist if I’m ignorant! You’ve been warned.

In “Satan Won The War On Christmas” by Bradley Palermo & The Shadow Queens the Hell King is shown to own our souls anyway, so our Xmas is on his terms. Metal edged rock with an axe to grind, albeit gently.

Billy Castillo doesn’t have a lot to say when he sings “Satanic Christmas.” Apart from an infernal plug for Taco Bell, it’s just chanting for a bit. Then there’s a rant. Gregorian pop.

“Cynical Christmas Carols (Hail Santa)” by Satan’s Basement is metal ravings about a self harmer realizing the demons are dragging him away from the angels. To the tune of ‘Jingle Bells.’

Oh yeah we’ve been waitin’ For “Christmas with Satan” by James White & The Blacks. Extra crunchy experimental jazz backs this peripeteia of expectation. (Satan throws the best Christmas party ever!)

Dated’s “Satan Claus” is word salad to electronica. Just seems to fit.

ApophisDaGod figures a general perversion of all that is good turns Santa to Satan. Hence, the parody “Satan Claus is Coming to Town.” Nowhere to hide.

Another ‘coming to Town’ parody, “Tor Wants to Spoil the Party” is mostly spoken. Tor Hershman claims there’s no Jesus or Satan, but confuses them together nonetheless. Too many drugs? Not enough drugs?

The Hot Buttered Elves begin with backward spinning, but jazz up the slow-pop for a fairly long-winded “Satan Claus.” Not as scary as pedagogical.

Ancient Machine rocks the kidsong with metal lite in their sweet “Christmas Time (Love is in the Air).” Friends and Teddy bears and wooden trains, oh my!

I just the last several minutes combing through my posted inventory and still can’t believe i have never offered you Bill Anderson’s 1969 classic: “Po’ Folks’ Christmas” (a follow up/parody to his 1962 ‘Po’ Folks‘). It’s gentle country with a tongue in a cheek, like when the kids’re thumbin’ through the new catalog Lookin’ and a wishin’ and a wantin’ everything we saw: Little toy trains and little toy boats and sister kept lookin’ at the little girl’s coats.

Alan Jackson declares “I Only Want You for Christmas” with some fine honky tanking country. He lastly admits (in sotto voce) he HAD a train and a bicycle… but still–

Little dolls and long red trains, golden drums and painted planes seem to mock the smokey voiced Gabriella Rose while she’s missing you in her jazzy torch song “Merry Christmas Little Star.” The decorations are all she’s got in this time of bereft blues. Sultry.