Category: jazz

Time for electronic metal, kids! “I’m Dreaming of a Murdered Christ… mas (2023 Remastered Version)” is Sakura Pups chasing rainbows and petting kitties (kidding!).

Tony Trinidad has “A Christmas I Dream Of.” It’s pretty standard fare, i wouldn’t call in Freud or anything. A vocal coach might help this become the rap it wants to be.

Don’t let your “Dreams” be Memes warns Foster Gray and the JJ’s. Garage plinking wanders around the topic, so not as Christmassy as it could be.

When you’re not on the scene Kerry Pastine and the Crime Scene can only “Dream of Christmas Day” with an awesome bossa nova backbeat. Is that ALL you can do?

To sleep, perchance to dream, ay there’s the rubber mallet to the head. Not to get all Lathe of Heaven, but dreams can replace reality for those poor in living. So, what about the dreams about (for?) (because of?) (next to?) Christmas? Are they always White? Are they always of Sugar Plums? Or, are they merely Rorschach Ink Blots that reveal more about the dreamer than tell the future. Naturally, some are daydreams or wishes. Plenty are about dreamboats. We’ll analyze them ALL.

Scotland seems to blend indie with rock for their slumber time brain activity. Dropkick’s “Christmas Dreaming” is full of possibilities, open to interpretation.

Kimo Williams prefers “Hawaiian Christmas Dreaming.” With the slack key, this slow pop gets wistful, some might say dreamy.

“Christmas in Dreamland” is fluffy kidsong, although a bit strident as Johanna Lewis instructs us into how to be asleep.

Getting an early start is the Tyler Bernhardt Trio with “Christmas Dreaming.” It’s jazz-tstic. (Yeah, Sinatra does this, too. So what?)

A cappella jazz from Flying Pickets dings us the dongs of Christ’s birth in their “Christmas Lullaby.” Groovy as cash for Xmas.

More a cappella from Parry Music, but this “Christmas Lullaby” is ’70s TV variety show material. Woof.

Time for a public service denouncement: Jennifer Hudson headlines the ensemble cast gospel “Hush Child (Get You Through This Silent Night).” Hunger, anger, and fear are not easy to sleep through.

Go to Sleep and dream of Christmas, begins Richard Shelton’s jazzy lounge number “A Christmas Lullaby.” Cool as a jack and soda on ice.

“Stuff Stockings” by The Moby Dicks brings hard garage to bear upon the act of intimacy. Ouch.

“Red’s Xmas Socking Filler” has a very je nail BLUE ALERT charm without much stocking. Rocking, however, yes.

Not sure you got that? Try The Eggnog Crew’s “Stocking Stuffer” on for size. By song’s end you’ll know what he wants for Xmas.

“Stocking Stuffer” is Ocean is Theory’s sexy, bluesy take on making it through the dark holidays.

Stockings aren’t just for sliding across the floor to Bob Seger. Ladies wear them up to and beyond the bottom.

Patrick Donahue can’t wait to see his baby in her “Christmas Stockings.” A little rockabilly, but mostly country swing keeps this dude dressing her up with his eyes.

Crossdressing can be fun! slyly confides Lachlan MacLeod with funky rap in “Stockings.” Panties party, boys!

Wes Sperry wants what’s in her “Stockings for Christmas.” Jazz pop creepin’!

FAQs about Xmas stockings:

“Where Does Father Christmas Hang His Stocking?” Graham Mutton wants to know. Old style Music Hall from the UK poses more than one quandary.

Is it true what they say? demands D. D. Lake in the rocking anthem “Funky Christmas Stocking.” How did love become the subject matter here?

“What’s in Your Stocking?” seems an innocent enough inquiry. But Shy Nature’s alt rock moderne moaning implies so much more. Weirding me out….

Hoping for love, but getting less, John Jay Martyn asks “What ‘Cha Puttin’ in My Stocking?” Smooth lounge jazz that promises to be better next year.

So, what’d ya get?

Fretting over shopping, Evan Church indies up a heap o’ hope for the “Christmas Stockings.” Woo-hoo.

“Geek Girl’s Stocking” is some in-joking from Rhiannon’s Lark. DIY filking actually works well here.

Matthew Bright is almost inarticulate in his anticipation. “Stocking’s Hung” combines scat, jazz, and panic to create a relatable Xmas joy.

Encore the euphemisms! Currently Disconnected threaten us with what is “Coming Down Your Chimney.” He’s gonna do stuff to your cookies!

Cory Goodrich divas the jazz suggestion “Santa, Come Down My Chimney” with gusto. I’m blushing.

Ryan Lindsey (with help) croons the jazzy “I’ll Come Down Your Chimney” with a cocked eyebrow. Slow in pacing but not to be denied.

“Down the Chimney” from FSO (featuring Miss Amy) raps the merry Christmas with a little extra.

Susan Madson adds extra torch for “Santa Your Comin Down My Chimney Ain’t Ya.” Lounge jazz that may leave you a bit sweaty.

Worst case scenario–Santa’s never going to age stuck forever in the chimney!

Encore! Gatorhogs don’t know what happened (was the roof too icy?) but they face the “Empty Chimney” with pop grace. And, well, waiting… there’s no corpse anywhere.

Now setting Santa on fire might be different than killing him in the chimney, but The Glenn Crytzer Orchestra is so swing band cool it have to include “I’m Sorry Santa Claus.” Drop and roll!

“Chimney Skeleton” tells you all you need to know. But if you want the full minute story that makes children cry ask The Murrays and they’ll spill to pop.

dummytri is pretty sure “Santa Died In My Chimney“–who else could that dead body belong to? Wacky basement amterur pop.

“There’s No Santa Claus” is the horrible lesson from Colburn Sound Express. It begins with Dad being late home from work Xmas Eve… OMG–Hand clapping pop. (It’s the story from a movie–can you guess which one?)

Hot Buttered Elves have some Weekend at Bernies business after they find the overlong stuck Santa. “Christmas on Ice” is bossa nova fun–at first.

Santa Claus? Chimneys? What could go wrong?

Encore! Make Like Monkeys decide with odd Addams Family pop that the chimney might be a murderous ambush in their fine “Mine!!! Rub Out Santa.”

Bob Rivers enlists a cutie pie little girl to sing “A Chimney Song,” a horrifying time lapse about outwaiting the chimney blockage that’s starting to smell.

Kyle Dunnigan adds some BLUE ALERT to “Santa’s Stuck up in Our Chimney.” ‘Daddy’ starts crying, but the redneck daughters country carol their misunderstanding into some kind of grisly standoff. Then start on the fingers….

“There’s a Dead Man in the Chimney” is Podge ‘n Rodge’s confession to gunplay on the red-suited intruder. But this is not Chicago vigilanteism, it’s Irish justice.

Aliens Pat says it all (in 10 seconds) with the ragtime “Santa Fell Down the Chimney.” Got it?