Category: rap

Well, it’s Christmas 2015 in this shit-eating corporate dream, mourns The Felice Brothers with folk peevishness in “Carriage.” Everything sucks, and BLUE ALERT–if you hadn’t noticed.

Prefer sunshine? Hail The Holderness Family who ‘give back’ to their fans with “#Elfed,” a parody rap attempt to trend sudden jammie dancing in public. Thanks to their posted past accomplishments i know now they were spoofed on SNL.

Or just odd–?? fredfloston begs Santa “Don’t Break My Heart (Break My Balls)” in true electronic pop gonzo awfulness. This message is Stardate: December third, 2015.

Experimental cool from Zachary Byner’s “Scary Merry Christmas” hearkens back to that murderer in the house 2015. Adulterated (at least childish) pop that’s troubling more than scary.

December’s not the month for Christmas cheer, admonishes Adam Watson (feat. Stephanie Watson) concerning Xmas of 2020. “Goodbye Shouldn’t Hurt This Bad” is soft rap about the Covid crisis: The bells toll a quarter million deaths in a year–that’s just the US. [Though University of Minnesota’s CIDRAP (Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy)’s statement as of 12/28/2020 totaled 334,116 deaths.] Keeping it real hurts.

Jack G terrible raps “All I want for TRUmas is TRU.” There’s a line about making 2 mill$ in a month. It’s the parody that song deserves.

Von Carter (feat. Trey Lucré) rap about some payday amidst urban pressure in “A Couple Million.” Once more, from a holiday album, so maybe holiday adjacent?

Gabe Cornell likewise bypasses the whole explicit Xmas mention. “Millions” is a slow, melodic rap detailing how much money he’s got. And if you don’t like it, you can kill yourself. He counts it out to eight. Times ten. Isn’t that the true meaning of Christmas? (It IS on a holiday-is album.)

Birds do it, bees do it, even Santa’s reindeer do it–let’s crow about flying skills.

KCENT gets Kpop about it with “Fly X-Mas.” Party hearty. Foreign languages may apply.

Kidsong likes to weak the language at times to catch the eavesdropping adults unawares, so when Rockin’ Robin & The Magical Tree folk rock “Christmas Time Flies” they mean the metaphorical flight (though the reindeer are included in a simile for the slowpokes). But it’s all carpe diem celebratory.

Today’s dance party tune also neglects actual animals, but Sujo’s “Fly Fly Christmas” is a dance floor filler–or at least repetitive lyric syndrome.

MC Lars whiteboy raps “Gary the Green-Nosed Reindeer” as a bit of contextual comedy from the mid-‘Aughts. A bin Laden joke, an endless backbeat, a lively energy–you had to be there.

Pain can turn sadness to anger on a dime. The loss of Xmas celebrations opens a void that shrieking can barely edge over. Where you’re mad as noel, and you can’t bake it any more.

Matt Kaye waxes coffee house poetical with harmonica club blues in “After Christmas.” It’s an ugly picture of the later-times. Close your eyes, children!

Hate metal might be the way to go here. “The Day After Christmas” by Call of the Sirens (with didgeridoo solo) takes the time of year to task with a passion.

Angry rap from Riz featured on silliness from Random at Best also packs a bone to pick when “Christmas is Over.” Non-Christmas urban rage translated through Office Space.