Category: rap

December’s not the month for Christmas cheer, admonishes Adam Watson (feat. Stephanie Watson) concerning Xmas of 2020. “Goodbye Shouldn’t Hurt This Bad” is soft rap about the Covid crisis: The bells toll a quarter million deaths in a year–that’s just the US. [Though University of Minnesota’s CIDRAP (Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy)’s statement as of 12/28/2020 totaled 334,116 deaths.] Keeping it real hurts.

Jack G terrible raps “All I want for TRUmas is TRU.” There’s a line about making 2 mill$ in a month. It’s the parody that song deserves.

Von Carter (feat. Trey Lucré) rap about some payday amidst urban pressure in “A Couple Million.” Once more, from a holiday album, so maybe holiday adjacent?

Gabe Cornell likewise bypasses the whole explicit Xmas mention. “Millions” is a slow, melodic rap detailing how much money he’s got. And if you don’t like it, you can kill yourself. He counts it out to eight. Times ten. Isn’t that the true meaning of Christmas? (It IS on a holiday-is album.)

Birds do it, bees do it, even Santa’s reindeer do it–let’s crow about flying skills.

KCENT gets Kpop about it with “Fly X-Mas.” Party hearty. Foreign languages may apply.

Kidsong likes to weak the language at times to catch the eavesdropping adults unawares, so when Rockin’ Robin & The Magical Tree folk rock “Christmas Time Flies” they mean the metaphorical flight (though the reindeer are included in a simile for the slowpokes). But it’s all carpe diem celebratory.

Today’s dance party tune also neglects actual animals, but Sujo’s “Fly Fly Christmas” is a dance floor filler–or at least repetitive lyric syndrome.

MC Lars whiteboy raps “Gary the Green-Nosed Reindeer” as a bit of contextual comedy from the mid-‘Aughts. A bin Laden joke, an endless backbeat, a lively energy–you had to be there.

Pain can turn sadness to anger on a dime. The loss of Xmas celebrations opens a void that shrieking can barely edge over. Where you’re mad as noel, and you can’t bake it any more.

Matt Kaye waxes coffee house poetical with harmonica club blues in “After Christmas.” It’s an ugly picture of the later-times. Close your eyes, children!

Hate metal might be the way to go here. “The Day After Christmas” by Call of the Sirens (with didgeridoo solo) takes the time of year to task with a passion.

Angry rap from Riz featured on silliness from Random at Best also packs a bone to pick when “Christmas is Over.” Non-Christmas urban rage translated through Office Space.

Sometimes the super sincerity of a song oversells the emotion. I mean, bring on the irony of merry Christmas heartbreak–i’ll cover that when we get to the ‘good stuff.’ But the saccharin swamp of wallowing in feels can deepsix a song of merit.

Recycled show tunes from Disney knockoffs sound a lot like The Sylvia Cotton Singers doing “I Can’t Wait for Christmas.” A couple cliches, a soaring vocal, an unhappy child… nope, not really a song.

Synth jazz with a sultry beat smacked against a spaghetti box doesn’t prompt an empathetic response for Michael Jeff’s smoky-throated “Why You Have to Wait ’til Christmas?” Soft pop does not equal hard feelings.

Much improved is Brandi Carlile’s searching, reaching, emotional heartache in “Heartache Can Wait.” The slow, grating folk-pop (now with extra cello) tugs at lonely, empty, fragile heartstrings. Yeah, it goes on and on–with talent and musicality. But, bum, son.

Watered down R+B can be listenable, given the stretch of vocals by the likes of Tommy DeCarlo. But his flirty come-on “I Can’t Wait ’til Christmas Day!” is menaced with more thumping back beat, not to mention bland backup singers.

Melodic rap might sneak one through urban troubles with a metaphor here and a simile there, but KVBA (feat. Con)’s “Wait for Me on Christmas” whinges us through the stumble love of domesticated mundaneness.