Category: folk

Whether or not the elves can get behind Santa, we write letters to the big guy, not them. So it’s time to start thinking about Mr. Red. What’s he doing Right Now?

In fact, is Santa who he is, or only his job?

If that’s true, what other jobs might he have?

First of all, let’s deal with the all-seeing, all-knowing job: God.

A few artists have something to say about Santa as God.

Hank Snow spins a schoolroom spoonful of treacle with “God is My Santa Claus” either creating an ouroboros tautology, or refuting our original posit. Ok, i guess God is everything, including the Great Gift Giver.

Pearl Jam mellow alt rock the confusion of “Santa God” ascribing it also to childhood’s naiveté.

A little more garage punk (kiddie style) Contranzor declares “Santa is Your God.” Oh, i see, we worship materialism. Well, now that’s just social commentary….

Joe Treewater just covers his bases by confessing “Sorry God & Santa.” It’s a smooth unplugged folk play (except for the atheist digression toward the end).

Dan Hart grows on this symbiosis with comic folk pop in “Santa God.” Looks like they are two different entities after all, or at least opposite polarities.

After leaving the truck stop, pat yourself down to make sure you didn’t leave anything–say like your sobriety.

Drunk Christmas will be covered later. Drunk driving for Christmas is an even more serious subject. So let’s sing about it.

Garage rocking band Boozer settles comfortably into “All I Got for Christmas was a DUI.” Bourgeois blubbering regret. What they got against Elvis?

Spoken word poet Shawn Mafia gets mad at Santa while busting a crime in his “All I Got for Xmas was a DUI.” Mad verbal skills, but what’s he sound like sloshed?

J.D. Rogers tells quite a “DUI for Christmas” story to the tune of Keen’s ‘Merry Christmas from the Family.’ With the continually puking and cop cam roadside testing i guess this is supposed to be some kind of joke. Kinda liked the song.

I am contractually obligated to mention Bob Rivers whenever i can. “Carol of the Bartenders” is a clever bit of PSA. Perhaps too flip.

Jakson Lee goes deadly serious with his little ditty for a school project. The first minute and a half are a fine folk number, then he includes a slide show for–i think–his little sister with a reminder how to get fun things for children. Wha-huh? “Christmas is Dead (Don’t Drive Drunk).”

Patti Jo-Roth Edwards is one of those singer songwriters who can’t help herself. She writes, she sings, she records and posts.

I’m not saying she’s any good. She just gotta sing.

It’s a mistake, for example, to twist out a rocking tune like “Santa Drives a Candy Apple Red Cadillac” unplugged and dogged. Her mush mouthing the lyrics is fine, but her Judy Collins women’s folk coloring outside the lines belies the hella good time promised by the story. Hmmm. Cadillacs deserve something more urban.

2/2 is officially Mid-Winter with the groundhog prognosticating what’s left of the horrible killing frost. But not so always. Christmas originally was Mid-Winter, ’cause of political calendrical churchy battles. You could look it up.

“In the Bleak Midwinter” is a traditional hymn about Christmas and it’s sung by many, many, many who have the pipes to back it up. I’ll just mention a Hampshire set of twins, Ward Thomas, partly because my wife loves young girl harmony, partly because their video here is all agenda-ed up with vetserans’ charities. Pretty but deadly.

Other Winter/Christmas songs of note: “The Winter Song” by Eisley from the Maybe This Christmas Too album. A trudging, mournful, soulful searching song.

Isaac Hayes also blues it up with “Winter Snow” from several Xmas compilations (mine is Christmas in Soulsville). I feel compelled to point these titles out because it is not sounding like Christmas.

Thee Olde World loans us classic carols like “Drive the Cold Winter Away” here brought to life by The Trail Band. (Album: Making Spirits Bright.) Seems totes apropos here for Feb.

But, to stay novel and titular, let’s get our coffeehouse beat on with Lou Reed. His “Xmas in February” of course is about how the spirit has left us this late in the year. It’s spoken word blues about loss from the Vietnam War. But the title really works for me, so there.

Christmas is meant to be a frame of mind, not a box in the calendar. Not that i can find a lot of ‘Christmas in April’ songs (okay, i did find one really cool one).

Let’s roll through the twelve months like it’s the twelve nights and find something to celebrate for each of my pin-up’s pages.

January is a bit of a burn-out for the Holidays. (I am NOT going to insert any ’12 Days of–‘ songs here because after a dozen days we’re into the first month of the year. And mostly because i hate nearly all novelty versions of that heinous hymn.) But there are a couple fun AFTER songs…

In fact Jim Sarthou sings about wanting “An After Christmas Song.” It’s sentimental enough, but not rally catchy enough to hum for the following weeks of taking down the decorations. This is an Aunt Irma song tribute. If you wanta get up and dance to it, click on The Skavengers‘ version. These Filipinos shake it up.

More into the spirit of the decreasing’ reasons, Lost Dogs sing the “Song for the Day After Christmas.” Its folky and snarky and yet religious, too. Feeling it.

Weary but still on the dance floor, KC and The Sunshine Band allow for “The After Christmas Song.” It has flavors of the Caribbean, and down home funk.

The Snowflakes Christmas Singles Club is another gimmick to get worthy unknowns into your field of vision. Each year they (UK) offer up a spendy limited pressing with A-side original Christmas music, and B-side reimagined Christmas song (which you may not have in your rotation). Cool, cool, cool. So try out this Nancy Wallace song about missing loved ones on 12/25 and having to spend the holiday with them LATER in “January.” It’s daintily folksy and loving and, despite close listening, does NOT seem Cristmassy.

Donkeys are there, in the manger, when it happened, that Christmas thing. So they get plenty of play.

“Dominick the Christmas Donkey” is Italian, Santa’s friend, and a hit for Lou Monte way back when we thought all Italians were funny-talkers.

Ed Ames brings us back to the blessed moment with an echoey symphonic chant, reminding us in “The Ballad of the Christmas Donkey” that The Son gives us all a chance–lookswise anyway.

More donkeys at the birth of Christ! In “Nestor the Long Eared Christmas Donkey” Marty Robbins tells the same ugly duckling story with a bona nova backbeat. Howza, Lord!

Gracie Fields had perhaps the biggest merry mule music with her 1959 “Little Donkey.” This catchy tune sold as sheet music faster than hotcakes. This mono recording may cause loss of equilibrium, but the message will heal you.

But the ass is not the only odd-toed hoped mammal with a reason for the season. And i don’t really mean Ren & Stimpy’s “Yak Shaving Day” (shudder).  Nor even the crafty parodeus “Save a Horse, Ride a Reindeer” by the Whiskey Santas (really?).

No, no, no.I’m referring to that staple of 3rd grade winter singing festivals “Santa’s Using Zebras Now.” In order to understand a few lyrics we’ll zone in on Paisley Yankolovich’s unplugged version. He looks as if he might not be allowed within a hundred yards of a school.

What are dinosaurs but hypothetical dragons?

Not that dragons inspire epic Christmas music…

Most of the youtubes with dragons + noels are DnD video game snippets assaulted with dull tunes. I will give John Mapes props with “I’m Spending Christmas in Skyrim.” A bit o’ dragon and a lot of Millennial holiday spirit.

The best dragon carol has to be Roger Whittaker folk silliness “Darcy the Dragon.” And apparently several families have posted about this ’80s bit of ephemera. I like what the Heywoods did–no money, no talent, all love.