About my favorite toasting Christmas song is from Narrative Crows. “Christmas Drinking Song” is dreamlike and transporting, a magic cocktail ride. These Montrealeans blend folk and alt rock into a heavenly choir of our shortcomings, pairing that with a hypnotic video of arctic foot and traffic fails the may leave you hypnotized. View responsibly.
Category: folk
Drink N.B. Merry: wine, mulled
Grown ups of refinement prefer wine to beer, at least as an ostentation. (Wine drinkers say things like: oaky, fruity, earthy; beer drinkers say things like: burp!)
The holiday process of boiling said libation with spices goes back centuries and continents. Glühwein is a favey-fave amongst the Deutshe. So I must include at least a couple not-so-much-mitt-du-English songs like Die Blauen Jung’s happy drunk parody of ‘Jingle Bells’ “Der Glühwein Song,” Thomas Dotterweich’s swinging parody of ‘Rocking Around’ “Der Glühwein Song,” punchxmas’s burbling melancholic “Oh du schöne Weihnachtszeit,” Kalk Stein’s oddly talky children’ rock “Glühwein,” and Sternschuppe’s rad pop “Komm zu mir auf einen Glühwein.” But let’s finish for the language challenged in English: John Stapleton folk rocks “It’s Christmas (Glühwein for the Ladies)” in his rocking chair in his front room (wait, that’s a nervous tic). I do believe he’s judging the alcohol intake here, not like those cheery Germans.
Okay, one more. Miss Behavin’ believes that western music is that stuff from musicals as she celebrates “Glühwein.” It’s a barn dancing promise of more fun.
Back to British. ‘Blurred Lines’ has been mocked with “Mulled Lines,” here by Greg and Chris Smith. Well Robin thick mayn’t be Brit, but he’s classy in that repressed way. An honorable parody.
And now for something completely different. The “Simplee Mulled Wine Mix Song” is advertisement for a product you problee never heard of. But it’s catchy bluegrass carousing.
Drink N.B. Merry: beer2
Some beer songs are in anticipation, or within the first couple rounds: upbeat.
Friday Night Music Club has a rousing light-punk (same anger, less cacophony) number in “The Christmas Beer Song.” It’s all fun and games until the next round.
Thorsø All-Stars from Thorsø, Denmark have posited a polite cowboy party with “Country Christmas Beer.” It’s their first song in English and they’ve worked hard musically to represent our Wild West bad manners.
Another big party is delineated by The Irish Rovers in their “Christmas in the Ale House.” What a great Celtic gathering.
Less glowingly glorious, The Bastions get a bit loud and naughty with “Beer, Jugs, & Bratwurst.” Oompah is a bit like the I-need-to-fit-a-toilet-soon rhythm, ist es nicht so?
Referencing beer but almost cheerfully anti-beer is the Christmas remix of Trailer Choir’s ‘Rockng the Beer Gut’ into “Rocking the Beer Gut (Holly Day Version)” wherein Santa claims he’s not fulla suds. Nice rollickin’ country-fried humor.
Even bad choices under the influences of beer seem fun. In re: “Christmas with Beer Theme Song” by Christmas with Beer makes the failures in life tolerable, amusing even. Thanks!
Drink N.B. Merry: whiskey2
Some whiskey Christmas songs are a mixed bag. Fun to hear, sad to listen to. Great melodious fun. Woebegone lyrics.
Tipsy virtuosi Son of Fathers have a seesaw bit of silliness with “Whiskey Christmas.” You never get anyway with the song, but oh well.
John Gregorio as ‘Ray Church’ (from a show entitled ‘Chaos & Candy: Chicken in the Snow’) has a truck driving country rock blasphemy also called “Whiskey Christmas.” The devil proposes a drinking contest in a local dive on Christmas while Jesus was in the mens’ room… hijinks ensue.
Happy drinking sounding like a Steven Martin improv rollicks in from lounge lizard Jesse Thomas Brown with “Merry Christmas, Jameson’s Irish Whiskey.” It’s a family brawl, but all in fun–except for all of them.
Our Country tinkles the ivories with some old fashioned song writing in yet another “Whiskey Christmas.” Half gospel, half musical, half ragtime, these boys recommend whiskey in your Swiss Miss, but sheepishly. (2 1/2 minutes in is their Kickstarter commercial.)
The most upbeat, most degrading melange of holiday whiskey-ing come from Darby O’Gill and the Little People. Their “Whiskey Christmas” is a jig and a half about the puking, hating, stinking effects of partaking. Wee ones scream curses.
Temperance challenges Barleyjuice in a cool retro rock “Whiskey for Christmas,” which while Celtic hearkens to ’60s folk rock. Clever fellows.
Drink N.B. Merry: whiskey1
Hard drinking largely features whiskey in all its incarnations: Jim, Johnny, Jack. Whether corn squeezins, white lightning, moonshine, mountain dew… it’s the water of life, the devil’s brew, the little brown jug.
What better time than Christmastime?
Some songs are a bit of fun, celebrating responsibly, taking the edge off.
Miss Mini calls her “Corn Whiskey in the Egg Nog” southern soul. Sounds like Motown regardless where you play it. The party in her song does get a bit reckless, but her sassy side sells it, yassir.
Proper southern slide guitars from Dan Rodriguez. His honky tonkin’ “All I Want for Christmas is Whiskey” is a song of sorrow and regret, but his rhymes are crispy and his beat is upbeat. Fun.
A more positive message with a growling folk country accent drawls out of The Sudden Passion who has done all his shopping for Christmas on aisle 13. “Whiskey for Everyone (This Christmas)” simplifies the worry of the holidays and isn’t that a good thing?
Whiskey Rodeo plays parody with “Deck the Halls with Beer and Whiskey.” It’s hard rock with angry trappings and self image issues. And the humor is boys-being-boys pedestrian. Wooo! But, okay that’s it.
Getting a bit ahead of ourselves, Three Day Threshold & Summer Villains wish you “A Very Whiskey New Year.” Despite their resolutions, they’re toasting uproariously and slide in and out of key of their big, loud folk singalong to convince you of their intentions.
Fusing American country rock with British Invasion, Minus 5 makes merry with the blurry in their “Your Christmas Whiskey.” Not a hangover song at all.
Drink N.B. Merry: vodka
Not much on this colorless, odorless ingredient. But it’s best chilled straight out of the freezer, so let’s chip off the frost and sing a song of sauce or two.
In the new spirit of detente we live in Sonata Arctica brays out an encore crowd pleaser: “Merry Vodka Christmas!” Set to Have Nagila it is hardly holiday-themed. But we’re reaching here, so there.
Clive M pours out his unnamed friend’s heart with “Vodka and Snowflakes,” a song of regret and swallowed consonants. I like the overall feel, as in the wish that you were coming home sounds more like hu hoo hoon hu-hone hu-hone. It just delivers the message, you know?
Drink N.B. Merry: HBR
Another drink celebrated exclusively around Christmas is hot buttered rum. Songs about HBR may not always focus on the holidays (like Carol Weaver’s simple Red Clay Ramblers folk exhortation: “Hot Buttered Rum“), but you know–like with eggnog–that partaking of this libation is a tip of the lip to the Lord. You know.
‘Tis a pretty song. Reilly and Maloney give it the old Kigston Trio folk fun try. Mary Chapin Carpenter gives it the matter of fact, no nonsense statement. Mike Murphee gives it a warbling melancholic dirge-like sendoff. Bryan Bowers overmikes his mbira-sounding dulcimer creating a more haunting ghostly wisp of a warning. Phil Passen gets the music mix right but loses all feeling in his vocals. Leo Eilts goes for Dylanesque with his harsh syncopation and heavy harmonica (nice expository defense of this song as a Christmas ditty–thanx). Rani Arbo and Daisy Mayhem throw back to barn-dwelling throaty mountain folk–sounds like a party, of a sort. The Red Clay Ramblers theyselves the originators of said piece play the lay like they’re at an Irish funeral (with a 3 1/2 minute fiddlin’ intro). Becomes an old world mini-opera of an alcoholic beverage, it does.
Krista Detor gets her drink on for present-day Christmas partying with her “Hot Buttered Rum.” Try not to keep up with her escalating partaking. But sway to the hot buttery vocals.
Drink N.B. Merry: nog8
Is that enough eggnog? Not if you can still see clearly enough to read this.
Santa drunk on eggnog songs include:
“Santa Drank the Eggnog” by Clare Means. Sounds like a kids’ song, though Santa gets pretty handsy high as he is. Look away, little girls!
Comedy country from Kevin Afflack arrives in the form of “Blame It on the Eggnog.” Peppermint schnapps sneaks in there, but it’s more interesting what Santa’s go-to is for in the bag singing.
You are dead drunk ‘nog songs include:
Angry garage rock informs this frame of mind. Posture & the Grizzly play “Egg Nog Drunk Off of Hilary Duff’s Piss” like the standard manifesto of working class injustice. Don’t worry about the drinking then.
Lil Snarky has morning after regrets from a bender in “Eggnog, Bitches!” Adult situations (who did I sleep with?!), childish behavior (humping dogs), bouncy pop music. Keep a barf bag handy.
More unfortunate puppetry and helium vocals in “The Eggnog Addict.” Take note of the inventory of additives (moonshine, too). This is presented as a curative, a little hair of the ‘nog. But the soft folk strumming is so soothing. Kerem and Ben are not above puppet vomit, however.
A bit more ‘live’ is Christy Davis, outing her alcoholic relations in “Granny’s ‘Special’ Eggnog.” It’s truth telling time in a soulfully folk throw down. Next time, blackout and don’t remember. Or stay away stay away stay away stay away from the eggnog.
Drink N.B. Merry: nog3
Eggnog is such an inspiration, people of all talents find themselves compelled to compose complaints of compotation involving this tradition. So screw your courage to its sticking place and lean in closely….
The so-called Vid Meister presents a child’s Christmas in swallows with his “The Eggnog Song.” Slightly better that adorable, slightly worse than doggerel. But he does like the stuff.
At the family bacchanal, Garet Robinson debuts his attempt at minstrelsy with his “The Eggnog Song.” There’s a song in there somewhere, if his in-laws would keep up accompaniment. Also likes ‘nog.
Harley-Grace (and Dad beatboxing) celebrates with “The Eggnog Song.” It’s short, but includes outtakes. At least Dad is embarrassing.
Christy Davis has got some onstage pipes catapulting “Granny’s ‘Special’ Eggnog” into clear novelty blues greatness–but this cell phone capture is so horrible, i have to include her alcoholic glamorization in this dumping ground.
The First to Fall bang the garage loudly with their “The Eggnog Song.” Props for energy. Question marks for lyrics.
The ukulele girl who goes by theosankh has posted her own “The Eggnog Song,” for which she apologizes; through which she plods uncertainly, and in which she swears (but she’s adorkable enough [her youtube channel is ‘Let’s Get Cereal’] not to earn a family warning). This is a personal tribute so prepare yourself for raw feelings.
Weird Paul Petrosky (Al never copyrighted that epithet i guess) rolls all over his synthesized piano and never quite gets around to saying eggnog. But in “Try the Christmas Drink!” you know he’s insisting on our themed mixture as a holiday tradition that must not be passed up.
Drink N.B. Merry: cocoa 2
Cocoa is such a tradition it’s shorthand allusively to aw dear skwooshy squishy emo. Alisha Merrick is a nice sing-maker, but first and foremost she’s a missus and a mommy. Get treacly romantic with her “Cocoa and Kisses.” Works for me: I’d make all my friends listen to it, if i were the guy (if i had friends).
“Hot Chocolate” gets some play from that ‘Polar Express’ movie. Everything about it horrifies me. A nice calypso turn from Janess Sifers creates a “Hot Chocolate” that would better fit into a big biz show musical. Me, i’m more into edumusical pounding like you find in Brian Kinder’s “Hot Chocolate.” Earnest but questionable talent sells these maudlin values.
For the verisimilitude you’ve been yearning for, Tami Trisoliere blue grasses her “Cocoa Christmas” with a violin that feels like slippers, guitar like a fireplace, and a her own contralto like a fluffy plush robe. Ahhhhh.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nI0pl2ZKLZw