Most WWII songs are subtle enough to want us to revere the troops and pray for their return, without acknowledging that dang ol’ killing machine over the Atlantic. (I wish i could find a Punch Hitler/Tojo for Christmas tune–lemme know if there is one.)
The musical ‘Annie’ gets historically metaphorical with “A New Deal for Christmas” Anthony Warlow and Lilla Crawford which branches the Depression to the 2nd ToDo. So let’s skip over this. I mean it’s linekicking fun, but heigh ho.
Still nothing consequential about the Holocaust, Axis v. Allies, or that atom bomb thing.
[Although i did stumble across young Ty Martin wise cracking about Pearl Harbor to a Christmas tune: “Ty’s Patriotic Christmas Song.” Kids today!]
So, let’s settle for a pretty piece of electric country: “My Ol’ Pal Joe” by Sean Castillo. It’s about GI Joe, which is definitely American. And it’s sweet.
O Lonelyhearts, all you need is a touch of affection… or cheap anonymous sex. Women’s favors as gifts! The idea!!
Mr. Wompy car karaokes “I Want a Blow-Up Doll for Christmas.” He appears to be mocking the melody, but it’s all in fun ‘cuz that’s his sense o’ humor!
Robert Lund mashes up kid song with adult themes (tradition!) with Chelsi Stahr singing “I Want Some Plastic Surgery for Christmas” lip synced here by some tramp wanna be. Classy wig!
Virginia Kegel adds to the dignity deficit with her “I Want a Boob Job for Christmas.” It’s a show stopping top dropping number.
How much lower can we go? Trailer trash low! Scuzz Twittly has a cottage industry in down home humor. His pretend holiday album ad features “I Want a Hooker for Christmas.” You almost believe him.
Just pop country comes August Campbell with “I Want a Hooker for Christmas” full of tips and ideas for those hard-to-buy-fors.
While we’re being sweet, snuggle up for some calm country with MissyG Band and “My Handwritten Letter to Santa.” It wants you to wax nostalgic, but that bass beat keeps asking you to git up and dance to’t. Choose your point of view.
Dance parties are a tradition around the holidays, if you can dig out the barn from the piled high drifts and drifters. Them country fellas know how to celebrate.
Why lookie here, it’s Michael Martin Murphy plunking and plodding left foot first to the “Cowboy Christmas Ball.” Catchy (and i think the Riders in the Sky are backing him up, right?)
Yeah, The Riders in the Sky lighten the mood (to a very strangely playful tune) with “The Prairie Dog Christmas Ball” which seems to be going on right under the feet of the other ball we’re a-having. Yikes! Move your feet higher!
Cledus T Judd adds his own version of comedy to the idea that a ball is just a party and there’s not much dancing (well, i’m not sure who’d ask him). “Cledus’ Christmas Ball” is that old fashioned cartoon that pokes fun at all the celebrities in the room. Wry as toast.
It’s better when The Killers get percussive and electric with their “The Cowboy’s Christmas Ball.” That back beat won’t let ya wallflower–not tonight. (But, don’t call the ladies heifers again.)
Some dances are so simple we just count out the steps. The two-step is a ballroom maneuver even morons who move to country-western music can manage. So slow-slow, quick-quick let’s get to it.
John Brack and Jeff Turner chortle out with electric (nee disco) country the “Christmas Two Step.” (Psst–it’s code for sex!) When country music tries to be subtle and clever we steer clear.
Suzy Bogguss gets down home and fiddling’ with “Two-Step ’round the Christmas Tree.” And, though this is a well-covered constant of country Christmas albums, i do enjoy the showmanship of Michael Martin Murphy even cooped up in a sadly decorated studio as seen here. You can tell he REALLY wants you to scoot your boots to his “Two-Step ’round the Christmas Tree.”
Santa’s job is a lonely one, unless you get weird anthropomorphizing those reindeer…
and if he had another guise, he would be well suited to a singular occupation out on his own.
I’ve covered Trucker Santa is some detail a couple months ago, so let’s turn to Cowboy Santa. Most little boys want to be one but not the other, why not the Sleigh-master as well?
Maybe cowboyism is just a hobby. Mike Jenkins sort-of sings “Santa and His Cowboy Sleigh” for children without an ear for music everywhere.
Charley Jenkins gets swinging with what-the-kids-might-say “If Santa Was a Cowboy.” It’s a fun danceable tune, but just ‘cuz he’s Texan–does that mean he’s gotta be into corporal punishment?!
Unconvincingly, Erik Alexander of Endless Hiway man-chants his version of country in “Santa is a Cowboy.” This booted-up version of ‘Night Before’ smells of barn.
In not quite a parody, Jackson Turner tells an involved I-hear-it-from-a-guy tale about how “Santa was a Cowboy.” It’s a gentle country ballad for listening next to a smoldering fireplace.
Red Sovine, that cool country western trucker singer, takes a shot at pinning down the kind of wrangler Santa is in “Santa Claus is a Texas Cowboy.” But i think someone put him up to it. Someone with lots of talentless children to sing back up. If they shoot like they sing, we’ll be safe.
Better (and more retro) is the over-orchestrated novelty “Cowboy Santa” by Larry Cartell. His Santa yodels too, but i believe he’s win the yodeling contest, this feisty fellow.
A lone fella with a guitar suits “Cowboy Santa” so much better for me. Neal harmonizes with Leandra for the chorus though, but despite a few fun word-plays his country tune brings me down. Seems that if Santa don’t stop messing around, Christmas will be ruent. I guess that’s more authentic country.
More mellow from back of the range Bill Lacey & The Ebonaires from Ebony Records 1959 mix guitar swing with doo wop harmonies in “Cowboy Santa Claus.” I hear the horse trotting in the tune, but it’s no hayburner.
The Prairie Ramblers harmonize nearly as well over the campfire for a more lively “Cowboy Santa Claus” (from Santa Fe this time). Now this is a Santa i’d watch in rollicking adventures before the feature film every Saturday at the moving picture show.
On the other hand, Santa has often been seen as resistant to the system.
Arlo Guthrie–many moons ago–interrupted his poignant melodic question of ‘why do these guys beat on us guys?’ to ask about the similarities between Papa Noel and the counter culture. Reminisce with “The Pause of Mr. Claus.”
Old twangy country from Linda Cassady asks “Is Santa Claus a Hippie?” out of childish insouciance. She would still love him though (even though the definitive answer is No).
Caleb Hawley modernizes his country to folk-blues-rock with his “Santa’s Just a Hippie with a Beard.” This may be a case of mistaken identity–it might just be some high drunk. Check out the jazzy scat on that scruffy singer.
The Bellamy Brothers followed up their ‘hit’ ‘Old Hippie’ with a sequel or two, one being a holiday recycling “Old Hippie Christmas.” This is more a state of mind which only mentions North Pole’s Fatso, but it’s a pleasant guitar-ination.
The cool song all the kids would have been listening back then would have been “Happy, Hairy, Hippie Santa Claus” by Rocki Lane and the Gross Group. This is a goof on the groove of the time, cashing in on counter culture like Laugh-In did.
The last word on the topic comes from America’s beloved hillbillies Homer and Jethro with the exact same syllogism: 1968’s “Santa Claus the Original Hippie.”
Some elves are bigger AND better. “Lester the Christmas Elf” is pretty confident for a subordinate to Claus. Roger Eydenberg picks and grins through this hee haw holiday exhortation. Santa’s lucky to know a swell guy like this.
Amping up the country swing to rockabilly levels, Dan Hicks & the Hot Licks lecture the elves how to make a million toys, especially that one elf, McGurkin. “Santa’s Workshop” rocks, little ones. Two step while you work, boys.
Full on country is laid back John Winters focusing on the sweetest little fella, “Little Painter Pete.” Why do i get the feeling that our old intolerant nation used to be more accepting of the gays if they were Christmas-oriented?
Dan Crow sings songs for children. He’s contributed to TV and movies (including the Big Show: Disney). So i’m delighted to see some artful agenda in his “I’m an Elf” song. Hey kids! It would suck to be at the receiving end of those endless wish list letters! And you better watch out! Big Brother Santa is monitoring your elf work work work work work work…. (I never considered the dry skin problem.)
Dang, that felt good! Celebrating the men (and women) who deliver–especially around the holidays! Let’s do some more! Roll on!
Lowell Shyette makes “Christmas Truckin’ Time” sound like a down home curse word. His modern country singing features a real thick drawl, and his guitar pickin’ feels like fast traffic. Some fun orchestration here.
Two steppin’ time with David Sexton, feeling all giddy ’cause he’s Haulin’ Mistletoe.” This barn burner should get your bootheels scootin’. Pucker up, sweetie.
Just as mirthfully, comes Red Simpson (again) “Truckin’ Trees for Christmas.” It’s a simple, but magical melody,,, fun for the whole family.
