Category: altrock

Time for prime time networks to sell albums. I mean, movies do it. Fox begins this trend with the soapy young troubles kind of shows (The WB/CW perfects it later). Background montage soundtrack might cover only a minute or so of the song, but stars are made from excited fans who want to recreate their lives from their special fictional friends’ lives.

“Maybe This Christmas” by Ron Sexsmith from season 1’s ep. ‘The Best Chrismukkah Ever.’

“Christmas with You is the Best” by The Long Winters appears in that episode and also season 2’s ‘The Chrismukkah that Almost Wasn’t.’

In the latter is “Christmas” by Leona Naess. Slow funky alt folk. Moody.

Season 3’s ‘The Chrismukkah Bar-Mitzvahkkah’ has “Christmas Day in the Sun” by Hot Hot Heat. A banger.

One song that was a character’s favorite, but was not a mood setter was “Just Like Christmas” by Low. Alt pop, but bach pad good.

 

To paraphrase Voltaire, If television didn’t exist, it would be necessary to invent him.

TV has made us as much as we’ve made it. TV has made Christmas what it is today. So obviously, we need to focus on RankinBass specials and Hallmark magic love movies that play once, twice, twelve times a year. But NO. We here at novelty Christmas music dotcom must ever hunt more elusive game: the sudden original song in the serial experience. No, not awkward caroling by our weekly stars, but actual entries into the canon of never-hear-that-afore celebrations of the holidays. Honestly, an enormity of these will be from cartoons. And i will allow cartoon specials/albums from established characters. (But NO musical variety shows.)

And i’ll start with something else weird: Christmas songs about TVs.

Ancient M.A.N. revisit their childhood with all those specials i promised i’d overlook and how much they taught us the true spirit of Christ. “Christmas Cartoon Song” is maudlin folk with a touch of alt.

52 New Things focuses on the offerings of “Christmas Day TV.” A later generation (slightly before cable, it sounds like) also uses folk (with mad fiddling) enjoys those special family movie selections that preempted soaps.

Modern despair from The Deckchairs who watch “TV Xmas” and drink to forget. Party punk.

The Buddy System gets alt-retro with “Xmas on TV.” More music, less message! Just like TV!

Not all songs about Christmas shopping are great music.

The Olympics have a disco soul party with “Santa Claus Boogie in the Shopping Mall.” But to what geriatric end?

Shorty Garrett impersonates rockabilly with cheap equipment in “Shopping Shopping Shopping.” We’re laughing at you, Shorty.

Blake Jone & The Trike Shop go agenda-mad with “Christmas Sale.” Apparently it’s two-faced to spend money for Christ’s aborning–wait, wait, not done yet–WHILE being mad at big box department stores for not calling it a ‘Christmas sale,’ but only a ‘holiday sale’ (or something something… hang on, is this something?). Cool indie irony, but ya got me twirling.

You want Christmas tree symbolism? I’ll give you something to represent!

TEMPORARY JOY.

Dr. Dog tinkles on his great-aunt’s pianer with some alt folk sentiment about how much “Oh My Christmas Tree” does for such a brief time.

Crappedy crap crap time of year… then just the right greenery and a “A Tiny Tree Christmas” cures all that ails you. For now. Thanks, Ryan Miller, Guster.

Bobby Curtola has a 1964 dreamy pop dream how “My Christmas Tree” would save the world. With love and peace and cetera.

Heart Crimes consider a “Christmas Tree” so seductive as to be the gateway to hard candy. Pop fun.

Pretty much the whole Christmas thing centers around and “Round and Round the Christmas Tree.” Bing’ll tell ya. He knows.

Or listen to the Australians. Peter Senior lists out all the cool fun stuff that tweaks the fun-happiness in us all, including “The Christmas Tree.” ‘Billy rock.

STUFF & THINGS.

Moments, blessings… these are the flashbacks Briana Kay seizes on when sniffing her next “Christmas Tree.” Potent sorcery conjured by plodding country.

My God, my life, and my family stare out at Lauren Flauding when she takes in the wonder of “My Christmas Tree.” Introspective piano bar builds a strong defense against it just being a tree.

Jonathan Mann may get a bit random sometimes, but his comparison of “Christmas Tree” bliss to Dakota Access Pipeline nastiness stands out. Falsetto blues.

“I Love a Christmas Tree” posits Donna Cutler with gentle rocking. It’s all about peace and love and stuff.

Always room for one more awful song. Having belonged to a let’s-be-offkey group myself, i must give consideration to Mesforum’s “Christmas Tree.” What you see is… well, what is it?

JUST, WELL, EVERYTHING!

“Everything is One Big Christmas Tree” by Magnetic Fields may rely on a Germanic chorus, but surely you’ll feel the joy of this alt rock disenfranchised leap of faith. Yea, Xmas Tree!

Some of these Christmas trees got names. Does that make you regret stuffing them in the trash?

“Chris the Dancing Christmas Tree” actually tells about the redeemed artificial arboreal offering. Charles ‘Kingman’ Hardman sells this old world kidsong as AI robotic fun, with no threat to humanity at all.

“Pee Wee the Christmas Tree” from Karen Newsum makes that small tree less pathetic with a name. Maybe a little. He sure wants to get cut. Country.

Preston Penn, oddly, also knows a “Little Pee Wee (Christmas Tree)” who similarly suffers survivor’s remorse year after year while the rest of the forest goes away. Old-timers’ pop.

“Greenie the Christmas Tree” is also too small to make the cut. Barbara E Leigh is singing to that left behind kid in you. Hey, this IS the same pee wee song.

Jeffrey Lefevre wittily rhymes out “Wilby the Christmas Tree.” In a dirge of a holiday polka we learn what this tree will be. (Yours, silly.)

Here’s a tree you may not know. “Freddie the Little Fir Tree” is–all right, it’s the same little guy that wants to be hacked, sold, and eventually discarded. He’s so happy to have a short life! Sigh. But. it’s Gene Autry!

“Mr. Dancing Christmas Tree” might be some excuse for a party, but i believe GT’s kidsong that implies some magic made it come to life one day.

Finally, the change of pace we’ve been scouring for. The Yobs punk up the children’s tune “Tommy the Christmas Tree.” This tree still gives its life for us, but we’re sneering now.

To fully deliver us from jollity, Steven Courtney emos a piano (w/rainfall) ballad of one tree’s over-earnest promise to deliver your best Christmas ever. “Oscar the Christmas Tree” is a bit unsettling, but i sense a sincere artistic effort here to charm. So i am. Wow.

He wants to be your Christmas tree. Dig?

Dispensing with the expiration date John Kolbeck wants to be your “Wild Christmas Tree,” baby. Pop by way of country, but sentimentally sweet. He’s worth the trip to the woods, girl.

Desperate for attention Brent Hardesty goes show stopper with “Her Christmas Tree.” Dude, if she cuts you down, she’s not really into you….

If You need the Cary Brothers they will be your “Christmas Tree.” That will take care of just about everything then, i guess. Tender country rock.

Laetoli Steps gently rocks the garage for their true love, “Christmas Tree.” An emo journey.

Jefferson Pepper juggles metaphors for his lovesong “Christmas Tree.” He feels like one because of your love for him. I guess. Doesn’t end well. Alt fun.