Aaron Walter flashes many numbers about in his spoken “No Bonus Checks This Year,” a holiday non-tradition to be sure. 100,000 seems to be the salary of the guy announcing your bupkis bonus, except for that 50% pay cut someone thinks he got. But you’re 30 working in this box o’ hell. I notices, however, that this is Circuit City store 880 (which Is sucking big time) (and prolly not there anymore). So, swearing.
Category: BLUE MATERIAL
Christmas Countdown: 1500 (BLUE ALERT)
We’ve about run out of yearly demarcations, so let’s get nasty again. Rich Homie Quan figures “1500” is the tipping point to A LOT. This year was a Merry Christmas ‘cuzza that many presents under the tree. Last year was sad ‘cuzza that many people shitted on him. So, yeah, that raps out to a lot.
Christmas Countdown: 1971 BLUE ALERT
Paulo Furtado, The Legendary Tigerman, lays down the blues from Christmas the year he was born (he got shoes) until now. “Fuck Christmas Baby (I Got the Blues)” is less casual BLUE ALERT and more musical hoedown.
Christmas Countdown: 1977 BLUE ALERT
“Adam Ant’s Christmas, 1977” is a tell-all about what MAY have happened at a certain person’s party. It ain’t pretty, but that’s between ZATH’s lawyers and him. Garage tomfoolery.
A two-parter from Hector Collectors: “Christmas 1977” starts out cursing playfully, but then turns wistful for the year in question wishing they had a junket like Mike Bevins. Quite Brit’sh. But punk pop.
Christmas Countdown: 1979 BLUE ALERT
Aptly punk, “Christmas 1979” is a candy colored crackup of drunkeness, death, and a lover’s betrayal. Salad days from Billy Childish.
Christmas Countdown: 2010 BLUE ALERT
Cry Baby Hank has a nose outta joint in “Christmas 2010.” His metal tinged rock seems to indicate he’s been done wrong by something female. The holidays do not ameliorate his anguish. So… BLUE ALERT
Twice as BLUE ALERT but violently non-apologetic about it Death Squad Kills rants more than raps “Christmas Final Fight 2010.” The chip outweighs the shoulder.
Luckier, DRTYUNCL remembers a BLUE ALERT love connection from “Christmas 2010,” an upbeat rap.
Ringers: [BLUE ALERT]
Childhood institutions like Santa’s reindeer are not immune from the obscenity of the sophomoric. YOU ARE WARNED.
According to the YouTube entry: MistleThumb is comprised of Dong Crosby, Ebenezer Spooge, Manheim Cornholer, and Douglas Firburger. Our mission is to ruin Christmas for everyone forever.
Their ‘Rudolph’ parody “Fuckolph the Fuck-Nosed Fuckdeer” may not win most F-bombs in a lyric, but boy does it try hard.
Line Up-what BLUE ALERT
Some songs got no business naming reindeer.
“Lil Freak” by Usher (feat Nicki Minaj) is about naughtiness. About two minutes in Nicki lists Santa pullers like rattling off sexual positions. Hey now.
Name Eight [BLUE ALERT]
The cup-holder of the team, Blitzen pulls right next to Santa. Is respect due?
Perhaps some experimental garage rock rom Terra Ram will ease the indifference. “Blitzen” is a BLUE ALERT a stream-of-consciousness rant about being left behind. Sounds right.
ad silentnitum, nosetotail BLUE ALERT
Let’s let loose and bitch about it, that never-ending return to season–in song.
“Another Blooming Christmas” is not so angry. Mel Smith’s UK frolicsome demeanor makes this show tune rant kid friendly.
“Here’s Another Crappy Christmas Song” is Steve Heller’s resignation. Bouncy pop (with some odd Roger Miller [purporting to be Elvis] scat) about the pointlessness is Brit to a fault. But i may have smirked slightly.
The cast of ‘Not Another Christmas Letter, The Musical’ rehearse “Another Lousy Christmas” for your patience straining. Show tune barking.
Bored white rappers BLUE ALERT!! cobble together an obscenity-laden rage-fueled finger-pointer with “Another Stupid Christmas.” It’s offensive, and sung mediocrely. Day Seven x Genre Treason (ft. Dr. Mer) deserve the credit.