Santaphilic.9

Waiting up all night with puckered lips in order that Klaus may show up and get some…

Again? Unkle Funkle sums it up best with “I Want a Kiss from Santa.” Rollicking, synth-ed pop.

Mr. Neet asks you to sing along with “Wanna Kiss Santa.” Hard not to get caught up with this repetitive (BLUE ALERT) calliope-istic pop.

Christmas Kiss” from GRAYÉ is light-hearted rap about that oscular connection with–the girl? Santa? Does it matter?

Dad band The Lifters settle into a bluesy rhythm with their chanting “Kiss for Santa.” Nice axe work.

Santaphilic.8

Again? I overlooked L M Azpiazu’s original “A Christmas Tango” (about celebrating JC’s Bday, when it first posted the updated “A Christmas Tango (With Santa).” Both’re sexy Latin music, only the latter is about fatter men.

Lala Deaton torches up the night before with all her fussing over kissing ‘cuz “I’ve Got a thing for Santa.” Seems he’s got a thing for her as well. Look out.

Throwing Muses has some trouble focusing. In their “Santa Claus” the object of affection reminds me of Santa Claus. Then there’s a lot of running. Wild club indie.

Elfie with the Christmas Workshop Band freestyles the aberrant, lisping “Love You Santa” with abandon. Now we’re getting to the novelty of it all.

Santaphilic.6

Again? Merrill Leffmann lounge divas “I Love a Man in Uniform” (meaning red suit, black belt and boots) with extra boop boop a doop.

林靜翬 winifai goes smokey, sultry lounge siren to recall childhood in the disturbingly evocative “[I Love You, Santa].” (The brackets indicate translated lyrics.)

Santa Claus (I Love You)” by The Ruby Plumes gets garage alt hung up on the complexities of intimacy. Authentic, but perhaps not so honest.

Some Bo Diddley parody from Dana K and the Remedy’s “I Love Santa.” Oh, it’s on.

Santaphilic.5

Some flashy DJing by KiofNC in the paltry “I Love Santa, But I Ain’t Sittin on No Grown Mans Lap.” Mixed messages.

Sami Stevens & Kaz George get moody with all that jazz a la “I Love You Santa.” It’s sad, but follow that crossed star!

Santa Claus, You Broke My Heart” is Shallow’s epic pop opus about love lost. Heavy sigh.

Serious honkytonk from Werewandas result in some heartbreaking mishegas with “I Love You Santa Claus.” How could you, C?

Santaphilic.4

MY LOVE, SANTA CLAUSE” by Cyber X (feat. Jody Watley) is EDM with an expected beat (may cause seizures). But the song does get a little PG-13.

勇​吾​は​人​生​で​あ​る​YUGO introduces a soul-infused instrumental with the admission “Santa I Love You.” Not sure if it’s consensual….

I Love Santa” by Kim Stockwood ups the rhythm with a really old fashioned swing. Honkytonk outplays nightclub for romanticizing!

Love Santa” by Kang Er (feat. DAPHNE D) take us back to kidsong innocence–it’s not time to get too nasty yet about the big guy.

Santaphilic.3

Sky Vaux Fuller w/Chasen Hampton confesses to a snowman “Santa I love You.” He never lets one down, always comes through, nothing he can’t do–sound too good to be bubble gum pop?

The band Harris waxes angelic with their “2013 I Love Santa.” Children sing the darnedest things.

StarFish lead the kids in a noise-repeating row with “I Love Santa Claus.” No Simon Says, just follow along with this grand ukulele kidsong. (Everybody pinch your bum!)

Better novelty is the toy piano with the cracking voice of an underager: “I Love Santa Claus.” Dixieland jazz from Paul Thomas!

Santaphilic.2

Dolly Parton tones it down and keeps it kid friendly (they sing along) with her (country of course) “I’d Like to Spend Christmas with Santa.”

Melody uses signs to convince us “Santa Santa I Love You.” Either that or she’s having a series of seizures. Kid pop that seems to never end.

Elf Orchestra tunes up the band for “Santa I Love You.” Kidsong that moonlights as R+B torch.

Happy 2B Music uses synth to pretend to be kids who can sing with “I Love Santa.” It’s heartfelt treacle, the kind insulin can address.

Santaphilic.1

It’s time to inject some romance into the snark. Let’s ship Santa and, well… you! Or me. Or someone else.

Perhaps most notoriously, Eartha Kitt owned “Santa Baby” as a (quid pro quo?) love song to Mr. Spendy. She even followed it up with a sequel the next year: “This Year’s Santa Baby” updating the gold-digging. For novelty purposes, i approve of the punk update by The Dirty Panties. But let’s close this squirmy throwback with a modernist view from Miley Cyrus on The Jimmy Kimmel Show. Me too, Santa!

Kylie Minogue stirs pop into the jazz with her extensive list of wants, but “Oh Santa” she really wants a kiss from inside that big beard.

While we’re country, y’all, Angela Watson belts out the family friendly “We Love Santa Claus.” Love CAN be bought!

I AM THE LIST

Retrospect mashes up old carols for the DJ kicker “Santa Says We Have to Go.” Play it for the relatives who stay late.

Hex’s “Shatter Claus” is not the Santa you know. ‘Though he might be like the Santa we heard about on the fourteenth. Nasty rap.

Santa’s Little Lamb” is possibly the WORST Santa we’ve met. If you don’t put the cookies on the plate, all bets are off! Spoken experimental weirdity from h_double.

Santa as Seen on TV” is kneeslapping with a side of irony from The Christmas Jug Band (feat.Tim Eschliman). They haul washboard!

Also, look out b/c “Santa is a Creeper!” Make Like Monkeys retro the rockabilly with warnings about this B&Eer. I’ll violate your habitat! Oh, no!