Christmas Countdown: 2015

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Well, it’s Christmas 2015 in this shit-eating corporate dream, mourns The Felice Brothers with folk peevishness in “Carriage.” Everything sucks, and BLUE ALERT–if you hadn’t noticed.

Prefer sunshine? Hail The Holderness Family who ‘give back’ to their fans with “#Elfed,” a parody rap attempt to trend sudden jammie dancing in public. Thanks to their posted past accomplishments i know now they where spoofed on SNL.

Experimental cool from Zachary Byner’s “Scary Merry Christmas” hearkens back to that murderer in the house 2015. Adulterated (at least childish) pop that’s troubling more than scary.

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Christmas Countdown: 2017

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From Runaway, The Musical “The World Keeps Spinning” begins with Christmas 2017. It’s depressing, but a show tune.

Vampire Weekend sings “How Long” in 2019 about how it seems like Halloween since Christmas 2017. This little pop hand plucker synths existential angst into dreamy verse. As it should be.

The Holderness Family returns with their “Christmas Jammies 2017” this time with fan videos celebrating triumphs throughout the white nation.

It all started for Malinda’s honesty in 2017. Refugees, student loan debt, and forest fires vs. ice bucket challenge, the eradication of polio, and hope make for “An Honest Christmas Song for 2017.”

Christmas Countdown: 2018

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Web nastiness vs Harry+Megan, Melinda touts and tortures the year with her “An Honest 2018 Christmas (help).” Return to the thrilling days of yesteryear with fine a cappella vocals.

In a similar vein The Holderness Family, a professional video excreter, take M&M music and rap out their yearly accomplishments in “Christmas Jammies 2018“–which are much more uplifting than the news.

Neon Star Sky has one of those big-things-happened around Xmas time numbers with their New Age “Realization.” 2018 and 2015 are both holidays of epiphanies, both negative. Bummer. But it’s my kinda musical-type vibrating.

“Deck/Wreck the Halls” by Big Eazy & Tiny Dancer (feat. Double $ $lick) is a handy comedy bit on a trad carol (with fun switcher parody 2 minutes in), but the boys do not want this to be the worst Christmas party of 2018. So, mm-kay.

Christmas Countdown: 2019

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2020 gets all the noise, but i wanna include Brett Laffin’s highly amusing “Christmas in Lockdown [2020]” here because this pop banger sadly reminisces about the innocence off 2019. And bc otherwise i wouldn’t have enough songs to fit here.

Malinda’s back (ft. schmoyoho) with climate change (& Greta inspired student walkouts) and–even worse–the Game of Thrones finale. On the bright side, Baby Yoda! “An Honest Christmas 2019” runs for cover for the next year with its a cappella parodies. Whoops.

Chuckklez goes BLUE ALERT about what 2019 can do in “Silent Night Unholy Night.” Tinkling metal.

Industry electro-pop hymn always has a home here. on the blog, so yung walnut’s “Christmas Special 2019” is the lead-in music we HAVE been looking for. Thank you, it was quite a wait.

Colin Carbonera gets fingerpoppin’ and bongo(heart)beating with some soulful “Happy Birthday, Jesus.” He wants to party like it’s 2019. Me, too. (This was also published in 2020.)

Christmas Countdown: 2020

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Now for historical documents: songs that salute the year they hail from. Hindsight? Not much! Anger? Oh, yeah.

Malinda does her annual Xmas card with “An Honest 2020 Christmas.” Her angel/devil debate over how sucky the year was includes murder hornets, John Krasinski, TikTok, and global death totals. Much witty parodising of carols.

A different approach comes from The Holderness Family, whose “Christmas Jammies 2020” (a tradition beginning in 2013) celebrates drive throughs, less pollution, UFO acknowledgments, ‘Parasite,’ and the Christmas Star (juxtaposition of Saturn and Jupiter). Rap (The Killers) parody upness.

“2020: A Virtual Christmastime” by Sam Gecko (feat. Kristen Leah) is a lively pop tune about Covid and masking and isolating and whatnot. Party! I said, Party! I can’t hear you! No, you’re on mute.

Actual parody–now about Hanukkah!–The Waitresses don’t quite take a back seat for Haim’s “Christmas Wrapping 2020 (all I want for christmas is a vaccine).” The election, cutting one’s own hair, emotional meltdowns… oy vey.

Buck Æ Down appropriately downers the year with superlatives. Find folk is “2020 Christmas” with its class warfare, police brutality, racism, and economic failure. And Alex Trebek?!

Upbeating, The Sons of Pitches (feat. Dan Bull) a cappella “Best Christmas” about hand washing and vaccines and whistling!

Desperate for positivism, Nathan Ro goes lounge easy listening for his “2020 Christmas.” Great masking joke.

Dominique’s “2020 Christmas” is ethereal pop about over drinking and all the reasons to do so (12?).

Christmas Countdown: 2000s [BLUE ALERT]

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Multiples of two thousands aren’t as easy to graph into our curve, but “Smell of Christmas” by Johnathan Boggarty and the Yoghurt Man must not be overlooked due to its experimental pop and grisly nature. The tons of whiskey needed to get through the horrors of the holidays outweigh the dead dog, blindness, broken families, suicidal tendencies, and overpowering odors of Santa. Happy merry.

Christmas Countdown: 2600

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Jonathan Coulton and John Roderick hearken us back to 1977 and the best present a kid could hope for, the Atari Computer Video System–a game you could play on your TV that wasn’t Pong. Also known as the “2600,” this quantum leap in technology began the decline of Western Civilization. Who didn’t want to be the first kid on the block with one?! Repetitive pop madness.

Christmas Countdown: 3,000

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Michael Shelton’s biochemistry lesson “3,000 Xmas Lights” is a tripping rock romance fantasy in which the Xmas metaphor is the least disturbing aspect. in the final line.

Mindy Smith isn’t getting home for Christmas. “The Snow and Three Thousand Miles” is yet another missing-you missive to music, this time slow country pop. Chin up, ye separated ones, love will find a way.

Crooning with tremolo, Stan Rogers laments that “First Christmas” 3000 miles away from home, working the holiday shift in the shop. Classic country downer. But, wait, maybe he’ll meet that runaway girl escaping domestic abuse….

This Century is also closing the gap between long distance lovers. “Kiss Me Like It’s Christmas” smacks the pop with gusto and hope, despite being a continent away.