Presents of Mine: oh, i dunno, toys, or stuff

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What do you ask for Christmas when your mind goes blank? Well, Ralphie?

Kid parang from Mýaand Josh proclaim the need for toys in “Christmas Gift.” Many possibiliteis get listed (but no socks!).

More vague is the execrable TV movie jingle with the toys singing “I Wanna be a Christmas Present.” Supposedly Kenny Rogers is in there somewhere.

A much better gift POV alt-pop song comes from Juju Garcia. “Christmas Gift” is a fun exploration of creativity just this side of improv.

Pinkie Pie (of My Little Pony) sadly figures actual presents don’t matter so much in a Ritalin Dixieland rousing version of “Pinkie’s Present.” Exhausting.

Flip it! Suzy Arnowitz suggests “Let’s Bring Presents to the Bad Kids” based on some kids book.  (Wow–toboggans, books, and planes!) Concertina pop!

While on the subject “What do Bad Girls Get?” asks Joan Osborne. Smokey electric blues.

Bilbo Kipler gothraps “Gift Rap” as praise for all the swag, bitch.

Presents of Mine: specifically BLUE

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Very special presents might be behind closed doors.

Two for one: NewSong’s “The Christmas Shoes” is a merciless manipulator of mush (poor kid wants his dying mom to git a present). The Robert Lund parody “The Christmas Thong” slaps middle class morality ‘cross the balls. Thank you, Spaff.

Margaret Cho and Red Peters open “The Christmas Gift.” It’s fellatio. BLUE ALERT

I’ll let you work out the naughtiness of the riddim from Popcaan in “Christmas Gift.” Yes, it’s BLUE. But a great dance tune.

I like the sly sultry bluesy jazz of BadaBing BadaBoom better. “I’m Your Present” says Go Mae West, Young Man. Double entendre rawr.

Presents of Mine: oddly specific

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More weird presents for JC-Day.

Obvi parodies include “I Want a Hypothalamus for Christmas” by Danny Birt. It’s only a minute, and seems to be a lovely neurological lesson–until we learn how the gift is achieved.

Ursula Burns and Donal Scullion get weird with the gift of a nuclear power station in the sly folk sweetness “Every Day of the Year.” Got a little agenda on you there.

Seth McFarland weighs in with “I Want a Gun for Christmas” from American Dad. Pop rock-lite.

The Blenders a cappella “I Bought You a Plastic Star,” but make it sexy. Huh. Bohuslän Big Band make it swing.

I hope you’ve heard “Millennium Falcon for Christmas” by John Arnealio. I posted it before. It’s boss. And heartbreaking. And folk/rock.

Best Christmas gift ever? “The Murple’s Magic Hat” seems to be the wish of infinite wishes, according to the kidrapblues from A Halo Called Fred. Must hear this.

First Atom crows how “I Bought You a Sweater.” Is that hipster lingo for something i should know about? Bouncy alt-pop, it’s in the spirit of the holiday, hey.

Presents of Mine: specificity

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Don’t get me just Anything for Xmas!

A BIKE! “Jimmy’s Christmas Present” is that kidsong that rocks from Jimmy Giggle. Well, dadrocks.

  1. The same presents that keep on giving include: “A Cadillac Under My Christmas Tree” by Bad Detectives. Jingly ‘billy.
  2. “A Guitar Beneath the Tree” by Silent Stranger. Folk reflection that cranks up some hair rock.
  3. “A ’55 telecaster Under My Tree” by John Jorgenson and Carlene Carter. Road rock with a country twang.
  4. “Santa Bring Me a Dinosaur” (a NEW version) by ME ‘n’ JB. Kidchorus.
  5. “War Toys for Christmas” by Roy Zimmerman (the originator of the song). Poppy folk irony.
  6. “A Christmas Cat Song” by JibJab worries about the exact right gift for Jesus. Singsong folk.
  7. “Swiss Colony Beef Log” (a FUNDRAISER cover) by Brandi Bigley. The South Park Christmas classic showtune revisited.

Familiar, but unsung here, Chris Farren beats hard on “Christmas Guitar.”Garage whining ‘cuz he busted the old guitar. Good luck, chuck.

Try one more new post from Joe Quesada and Idlechatters: “Ultimate Comic Gift.” Rock’n’roll with Elvis impersonation included. (Collectors note the ridiculous lengths comics go to reissue.)

Presents of Mine: greedier

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You want more greed? How much more do you want?!

Repeated, but most appropriate, comedy from Mr. Rodney Carrington showcases his country swing in “The Presents Under the Tree (Better be for Me).” Narcissism is always a hoot.

Big Freedia (from The Office Christmas Party soundtrack) wants and wants (mostly cars and booty) is the party screamer “Make it Jingle.” Urban dance that won’t stop.

BLUE ALERT Lil Jon rap parody “Buy Me Presents” also gets carnal while asking for everything in sight.

Men and Machine shine a light on gimmie-ism with the bluesy electronica “Christmas Greed.” Dated but timeless ’90s screeching.

Parody help from Duncan G with Brian: “One More Gift for Us” takes its cue from Queen’s ‘Bite the Dust.’ (Mostly dissatisfied, the wankers.)

Brit punk is always about the class struggle. This time with suggestions, EDBM (feat. Sid Crowe) preach “Season’s Greedy.” Help!

Presents of Mine: greed

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The need for gifts can overtake a weaker mind.

Rappy McRapperson reprises one of my favorite grabby bits “Gimme Stuff for Christmas.” Comedy rap.

Ria Mae is puckish and hesitant with her alt “Gimme My Presents (Take the Bows Off).” Nice experimental take on the kid-near-insanity POV.

PROCACK delivers us Michael Prokop’s helium-voice hiphop in “Gimme My Presents.” A diverting trifle.

Screechy little girl vocals in Greencastle Homer’s “I Want Presents.” Cutesy big band kidsong.

Affecting Bela Lugosi (or is it Family Guy‘s Stewie?) (or the Grinch?), Jerry Becker swings big band fun for “Christmas Presents.” To hell with the pretense, bring on the presents!

More punk than selfish, The Elftones amp up the tone for “Get Some Present.” Tinsel, too, guys?

Presents of Mine: scooby doo unmasks santa BLUE

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Of all the great Santa-brought-gifts songs, the funniest can cut to the big reveal–it’s Dad!

Or some truckers… “Christmas Gift Convoy” from The Hot Rolls is country done road. Toot toot.

Simply questioning “The Christmas Delivery System” Nat James comically addresses his problems to the folk song syndicate to solve this magic trick. Danceable.

Brian O’Sullivan goes BLUE with the lively folk number “Santa Song.” Kids, look away!

My favorite is Nick Helm from a couple years ago “There Ain’t No Fuckin’ Santa Claus.” Brit hard rock.

Presents of Mine: don’t blame the deliverer, blame these songs

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The magic of sudden presents under an indoor tree excites many to write songs. And then they get recorded.

Okay, the only real stinker here is Alan Chong and the fundraising “Santa Claus Brings Presents to Town.” Chanty folk takes a dump on trad carols.

Kidsong tends to be a bit stupefying (when it’s effective) as with “Greatest Christmas Gifts,” a hoppy, happy ringing doggerel from Paul Morabito. Fun for the whole unable-to-stand family.

Smelling like Plank Road Publishing, that bastion of children’s assembly music, “Who Put the Presents Under the Tree?” is silly and shouting and (pretend) ignorant of Santa. But it’s cool swing.

Previously noted parody “Santa Got Gifts” takes a well done turn at ‘Baby Got Back.’ Duncan G with Brian provide us with holiday cheer every year–but for some reason, they’ve gone dark on the ‘tube. Somebody snitched. Poor us.

“Lots & Lots of Presents” from Ben & the Peanut Butter Problem deals with the problems of blame and white rap. Listen at your own payroll.

Presents of Mine: deliver us from needful

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Let St. Nick tell you about the bringing of the gifts.

My boys Duncan G and Brian (where are you, guys?) pretty up an Xmas parody, so who can tell me what “King of Christmas Giving” pays homage to? (‘m kinda outta the regular music scene). Love it, though.

Uncredited to the stable of stock singers, “Santa’s Delivery” from A Latino Christmas delivers hot cool.

Oscar McLollie digs that crazy Santa Claus with swinging big band doo wop in “I Deliver Toys, Pt. 1.” A Christmas novelty must. Jingle jangle.

Presents of Mine: deliverance

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How’d those Christmas presents become yours? Santa, take a bow!

Walter Schumann and Jester Hairston credit Santa (briefly) while extolling those wonderful “Christmas Gifts.” A repost, but so worth the gospel jubilation.

Pamela Hines cruises the octaves for her “Gift of Giving.” Santa is nearly as amazing as her jazz vocals.

Mostly we LOVE Santa for all that he does. The Flashcats rock in the poppiest way with “I Wanna be Santa’s Present.” She wants to ride on his big sleigh–snicker! Wait, she marries him!?

Noelle Bangert salutes the season with an uptempo pop blues number, “Leave a Present for Me.” She’s bending over backwards for Santa. Fun song.