EX-Mas, lonely lonely lonely

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The basic refrain for seasonal severance gets its due serially from the music-makers over and over. Let’s admit that pain creates great song. But sometimes, wallowing in the dumps it seems like a better song ‘cuz IT’S ALL ABOUT MY PAIN RIGHT NOW.

Joss Stone and Mick Jagger should be golden together, but “Lonely Without You (This Christmas)” is just words said during a rock tune.

Prince gets a bit more poetic with “Another Lonely Christmas,” but this dream-fueled rampage of experimental rock doesn’t touchdown into our reality but twice. Can i get a huh?

Darlene Love wails girl doo wop with a killer sax for “All Alone on Christmas.” This is loneliness with a raw edge.

Ex-Mas, denial

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Call off the holidays! I’m miserable! We’re apart! No joy! No Jesus! Can’t be!

Big Sister comes back with “Christmas in July” the metaphor of topsy turvitude for the breakup. Get it?

Erasure insists he’ll be your “Loving Man” even though you said goodbye. Easy, man, there’s more lutefisk on the holiday smorgasbord.

Light rock from Jim Croce posits “It Doesn’t Have to be That Way.” You could be here. With me. For Christmas. Tonight. He’s coming over NOW!

The O’Jays shaboop the problem with “Christmas Just Ain’t Christmas Without the One You Love.” Motown, mo’ mopey.

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EX-Mas, for who?

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It’s infidelity! It’s always cheatin’, why they leave–Christmas or no. Who was it? You can tell me.

Monty Lane Allen has a follow up from his spoofin’ ‘Randolph the Reindeer’ with more honky tonk, “She Left Me for Randolph.” Oh, deer.

Barbadian Eric Lewis parangs about the whole mix-up with “She Mistake Me for Santa Claus.” How long has this been gwan on?

EX-Mas, devastated

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Gobsmacked, shellacked, benumbed… the aftermath of the Xmas breakup is stronger than anesthesia.

“It Must Have been Love” was some kind of hit for Roxette when released just before Christmas 1987. The later lyrics of this pop sobber were later altered NOT to reference the holidays specifically.

Manic Mark includes snippets of 27 takes and part of an actual folk song, “My Wife Done Left Me & Took Everything but Christmas.” His Gary Busey routine is tiring and the song is hardly worth it. But, on point.

The Orioles spin us a 1948 croon-y toon-y about loss and hurt with “(It’s Gonna be a) Lonely Christmas.” I hear ya, brothers.

Dude York delivers the ’90s pop/rock fix with “Break Up Holiday,” with the need to leave. As pity parties go, it’s rockin’.

EX-Mas, dead+gone

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So he didn’t walk out on you, he passed on from you. Still a rough candy-cane strewn holiday road doing without.

[Momentary digression to mother-issues: Bud Davidge suffers to figure out “Christmas Without Mama.” Lilting country catastrophe.]

[And, oh holy yeah, “There’s No Christmas Without You” Kirk Franklin and The Family soul/gospel up the dead Jesus reason for the season.]

Everything But the Girl has an alt-folk soft lilt to their loneliness that smacks of mortal grief. But “25th December” is more than eulogy. It’s a poetic remembrance of loss that doesn’t belong in my categories of sadness or blues. This hurts so good.

Mark Arnett has a true eulogy over his love. But it’s SANTA mourning MRS. CLAUS. What the actual folklore? “I Miss You Most at Christmas (Now that You are Dead)” is a ’70s psychedelic ode that starts you scratching your head, then gets you bobbing, then swaying. Go with it.

EX-Mas, sorry-not sorry

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POV switcheroo: what about the upside? The triumph of the dumper? The hidden joke of passive-relief? The whispered finally!

Savannah Smith unearths a tub of troubadour talent with her “Ex-Mas,” a bouncy folk bit about how she done ya, so there.

Cowardly country, “Break Up Before Christmas” addresses the creative economic advantages of not having to buy her a present if not together. Corey Hunt Band swaps commitment for drinking beer alone. It’s a helluva party… until three days later.

EX-Mas, do over

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Oh, there’s a song or two about wanting my baby back for Christmas. Let’s touch on the treasure trove of time-travel wishes.

O.B. Buchana smooves the soul with “Santa Bring My Baby Back.” It’s almost hypnotic with insistency. Then there’s the deep bass Barry-White one-on-one with Santa at the end.

Girl rock from Glam Skanks also asks those who can to “Bring My Baby Back for Christmas.” More into the guitar solo than the romance, you ask me.

Country blues from Seckond Chaynce listing the wants/needs for Xmas. “Santa Just Brang Her Home” he drawls, just Jesus won’t.

Alexandra Lawerentz infuses pop into the country blues so all’s that’s left is pop. “Bring My Baby Back (for Christmas)” is just crying to the music. (The zombie reinterp video accompaniment is sufficiently odd enough to warrant a wink and a nod.)

Owen Adams goes easy listening with a soft pop “Christmas Wish” hoping she’ll come back. This is the cornpone you’ve been looking for.

EX-Mas, disbelief

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Shock reverberates after such trauma. Didn’t see it coming… couldn’t be at a worse time… what the fa-la-la–la-la…?

Merrill Leffman divas into the disbelief with “Dumped Before Christmas.” Her confusion is only surpassed by her tonelessness.

Followin’ her to her rendezvous, Big Yayo slathers on the soulful blues with “She Left Me for Christmas.” She wha? He wha? They wha? Damn.

Static Monsters bring back the talent with an alt-pop “Just Got Dumped” that slides effortlessly into metal, then back. This is the roller coaster of repercussions, so hang on.

EX-Mas, begging

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The stages of grief over losing your love include bargaining.

Harmonic blubbering from East 17 ruins the merries and jollies with “Stay Another Day.” Boy band emo. You’re embarrassing her, man.

More slick, still heart-on-sleeve, “Ex-mas Song” by Young Rog tries to imagine Christmas wivowt da two uvuss… ca’t do it! R+B slow roll.

More comically vis-à-vis Rudy Casoni pulls the Chairman of the Board schtick (coming off more like the King of Comedy) with “Sno’ Balls.” Suggestively waving what she’s leaving behind as she sashays out. (Not quite x-rated.)