So you love Christmas, i mean really love Christmas. So what’re you going to do, sing?
Hovey Benjamin of Funny or Die demonstrates with “I Fucking Love Christmas.” Rap comedy, of ‘the fireplace is lit’ variety. Mostly listing.
Kiwi Matt Mulholland goes beyond the pale with his white rapping “I Fucking Love Christmas.” Nasty boy, nasty boy, whatch goin’ tadoo–?
We have established beforehand that swearing is an emphatic heightening the word meanings to their superlative status (mostly because we don’t know more words). So the king of all bad language might mean how ecstatic we are with Christmas.
Doug Walker (“The Nostalgic Critic”) of Channel Awesome nails this conceit with “I Fucking Love Christmas.” Here presented as metal fun musical video within the complete skit. This gets pretty twisted.
Animation and swearing, it’s like chocolate and tuna fish! They shouldn’t go together, but somehow–
‘Nightmare Before Christmas’ is the easy target here, ‘cuz it’s a musical (duh) and also weirdos like it.
Gamma Secretase plays “Fuck This” as a Madlibs, poking in the swear word for some other word as often as possible. Your laughter levels will tell you how high you are at the moment.
Shorter and more clever (though with direct drug references) is Lord Jazor’s “The F*ck is This?” Yeah, i know, it’s a Christmas movie, not really a Christmas song. Still like it.
What begins as heartbreak can infect all customary Christmas celebratory delight. She left you, so the whole package can go hang. You understand.
Dave Kilgore deadpans the light rock of “Merry F’n Christmas” adding to the comedy of contrast with his increasing venom. Poor guy.
Skate Punks (SK8PNX) want to go home with you, but it’s not meant to be. So garage rock out the “Merry Fucking Christmas” sadness. But xylophones don’t make me sad, dudes!
Wah, can’t get a date on the 25th! I’m so mad, I could swear!
Go Set Go is pretty depressed by it all. “Fuck Christmas” is a folk spiral down into sickness. Come along. Pretty strumming.
Carter Skull, in a rejected state, avers “Fuck It, It’s Christmas” to all his incel buddies. Pop jitterbug blues.
Christmas is so full of expectation, that any loss is catastrophic and cuss-worthy. Jilted for joyeax noel? Time for snarling slang!
Those Dreaded Gnats roll up the woes with “Merry FXmas,” a tale as old as flat tires. Cool rock pop.
Niki Luparelli is crestfallen by your caddishness, so “Why Don’t You Go F Yourself (This Christmas)?” I mean really, to this lounge diva brassy bossa nova tempo, why don’t you perform all these euphemisms? G’head.
Anger at overspending (and having to return crappy presents) excites 85% Jesus to rockin’ song with “Merry Fucking Christmas (To Some of You).” Wow.
But finally, a song that celebrates the 1% (with tongue in ass-cheek) for the holidays. Meanspiritedness trickles down, motherspender! Brad Sucks and John Benjamin present “Fuck You, Motherfucker (It’s Christmas)” as a quarterly economic lesson for the rest of us. Coffeehouse pop folk. Have fun with this one.
Dulled to death by the holiday haze, the next monotone messages may include THAT WORD by disaffected default. Ain’t no thing.
The Christmas version of The Great American Trailer Park Musical includes the pick-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps jubilee “…It’s Christmas” by Susan Koozin and cast. Up with hillbilly people who swear pretty casually.
Barely able to muster the breath to complain, The Mike and Ryan Project project “Oh Fuck Me, It’s Christmas Time” onto a wrinkled sheet with a candle powered projector. The tuba helps. And cool is momentarily lost. But the swearing is automatic and unfeeling.
Guinea Worms plunkity plinks on the toy piano through “Oh F*uck, It’s Christmas Again” as if time were merely a countdown to the end. Who the f*uck cares anyway?
Foul language against the competition as well? Sam Hill right! Get on board the cursing cruise as we drive-by Kwanzaa and Hanukkah too!
Thugzy Bunnie cracks me up with his hippity hip hop smashing on all winter celebrations out at the mall, beginning with “Fuck Christmas.”
Cuntgod rattles off the standard list with “Fuck Hanukkah.” Clotted metal punk with a hint of klezmer. Get the guy a lozenge.
The Skivvies (in their underwear) practice “It’s F*cking Hanukkah” for us live. Whitey rap is so hilario.
Much more positive, but also only a draft, “Light the Fucking Candles” from Eva Moon & the Lunatics calls on the Chosen to get with it. Fun folk rock.
Far away places with strange sounding names celebrate Christ’s birth. Also piss all over it. But with panache.
Swansea Jack is a Welsh sod with a wicked sense of song as “Oh Mush Christmas” exhibits. You may need a translator.
The French love their revolutionary anti-socialism, but this band and this song is a metal mystery to me. Does “Fuck Christmas” use the F-word? Quel damage, mes amis?
Can Whatever21 be Franc with me? Their “Merry Fucking Christmas” is basic (if not classic) rock.
Slovenian Aljaž Vuk banjos up the fun with his “Christmas Song” which features Santanapping and profanity, thickly accented for your pleasure.
“Merry Fucking Christmas” is energized punk by DØMT. That’s foreign i figger. This is flipside to ‘Rudolph is a Drunk.’ but it has it’s own reprise.
Rockabilly makes all merry and bright. So Alabama Black Snakes (Danish dudes!) take the whole concept less seriously with “Merry Fucking Christmas.” Whoa whoa, there’s intermissions for dramatic content!
Those classy Scandinavians can do (US) country music better, rock’n’roll better, earworms better… what about iconclasm? Try Zanko’s industrial electro pop “Merry Fucking Christmas.” Fa, la la, la la, la, la, what a party.