Don We Now: (sweaters) BLUE ALERT

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Let’s get ugly.

Jeremy Turner uses psychedelic pop for his “Ugly Christmas Sweater.” The twisty weird music (with whoops) adds to the nausea.

Just plain bad singing accompanies a ‘Que Sera’ karaoke for Cameron J. Orr’s “My Ugly Christmas Sweater.” Deserved that one.

Pretty disappointing. “Christmas Sweaters Instead of an Xbox” from Lil Poverty Angels marries rap and techno to set the angry mood. Your move!

What use IS this thing? Bradly Allingham is gonna ‘get her’ with his “Ugly Christmas Sweater.” It might be the eggnog talking, but this tenor pop country is gonna land him in the drunk tank.

Sha Na Na is proud to say that their “Ugly Christmas Sweater” is their possession. Not their proud possession, just something they wear. Standard rock, limp sentiment.

BLUE ALERT. DashieXP gets to rappin’ “Chillin in My Christmas Sweater” but feels more like a meltdown, saved by the comfy warmth of that itchy shit.

BLUE ALERT. Big Slack do some odd sampling, mean rhyming, and cazzy dissin’ on the “Ugly Xmas Sweater Song.” This hiphop deejaying sounds like they don’t like it. Yet he would kill you for one more.

Don We Now: …sweaters…

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Fate dealt you an Xmas cardigan… and it is ugh-lee.

Sam Wineman rocks his “Christmas Sweater“… he says. But his lugubrious folk rock seems to say something else (echh).

Surrendering to the crushing traditions, Party at the Moontower polka rocks out “I Need an Ugly Sweater.” Party requirements, folks!

That “Ugly Christmas Sweater Party” is their reason for Phil and The Osophers to gather. It defies pop folk music rhyme!

Generation Empowered has an “Ugly Christmas Sweater” dance for you, while peddling their by-the-numbers pop electronica and hating what gramma made by hand. Ingrates.

I guess it’s the contrast, babe. Patrick Thomas gets country clever by praising her beauty in her “Ugly Christmas Sweater.” Her blinking lights are up here.

Don We Now: sweaters

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It’s that fashion of year again–deal with it.

What is it? Classic Brown drops a classy garage number about just being with you. And “Christmas Sweaters.” Existentially. ‘Kay?

It’s white trash: Katie Wilson (&c) parody ‘Bang Bang’ by corrupting a winter formal with their “Ugly Christmas Sweater” infection. (We’ve seen this before, but it’s a good parody video.)

It’s a present. Okay. (As previous) First Atom papound out the altrock “I Bought You a Sweater.” Waiting for the thank you….

It’s a sign: Lil Poverty Angels BLUE ALERT notice “Eggnog on Her Christmas Sweater.” Techno improv nonsense that claws in and makes you listen.

It’s what’s on: “Christmas Sweater” by Karina Mia deals with flirty seasonal romance which happens to have a ‘cheesy’ piece of clothing involved. Pop folk.

It’s what’s on the list: Justin Warnick just ticks off the things to build a Christmas night. “Christmas Sweater” is there, ‘cuz December. Snappy slow folk, but almost affectless.

Don We Now: Sweaters

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Christmas sweaters… there’s good, there’s bad. Discuss.

Classic folk often itemizes ad nauseum some overwrought business (lots of lyrics). So Kirmas Kookies get verbal with their old school “Lovely Christmas Sweater.” Left-handed complimenting.

Make it a contest! Deidre Flint (get this) gets ‘Rawhide” with the office rules and restrictions over who can wear what when. “The Christmas Sweater” is always closing.

Schoolkid musical number from Hal Leaonard Music “My Christmas Sweater” calls the thing ‘atrocious,’ but falls in love with it. Oh, yeah: Beauty and the Beast! Pop by way of classic RnR.

Also chorally juvenile, “Ugly Christmas Sweater” is so peppy fun that the epithet is a term of endearment. Thanks to Jill Gallina for making it okay for kids to name call.

One more childish back and forth: could that be Plank Road Publishing (Ed. note: how embarassing, it’s John Riggi (Music K-8)) for “Ugly Sweater“? It might be Puccini. Grand stuff.

A secret love affair for The Yule Lads’ “Christmas Sweater.” Motown jazz rock randomizes their psychedelic love affair with this wearable.

Don We Now: SWEATERS

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Sweaters aren’t so bad this time of year. Practical.

The Original Farquand Boys thank Mom for the “California Christmas Sweater“–it’ll keep ’em warm in this weather. It’s really really neat. Fine rock.

Pentatonix knows the value of a Christmas wraparound during “Sweater Weather.” A cappella hip hop about the holes in their sweaters. Lift your arms!

Kyle Stoneman asks that you “Put on Your Sweater for Christmas.” There’s no time that’s better. Garbled pop, but in a good way.

Sounding awful matter of fact Adrian Cohen accepts that “Eddie Vedder Christmas Sweater” are trademarks for my (in monotone) ‘favorite day of the year.’ Orchestrated pop that labels the item of clothing ‘ugly’ without acrimony. 5th stage of death and dying.

At first the joy of loving that “Ugly Christmas Sweater” can’t be beat. Tiffany Blom (and Thomsen friends), however, have nothing but grief from all that frivolity. (After three minutes of song, there’s an odd psychotic pschydelic killing spree.)

For some, Xmas is terrible. Except for the glorious ugly “Christmas Sweater.” AAA Girls are the queens to show you up.

Don We Now: SWEATERS!

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Weirdly, that horrible knitted thing has a spell on you.

Gina Naomi Baez wants an “Ugly Christmas Sweater Party.” Pop soul for the puppies (!).

Loving that “Ugly Christmas Sweater,” The Withers sway and swoon with their new objet d’art, which may be made of twine or of pop music.

You know who really wants one? Hermione Crookshanks sings “The Sweater Song” about how Mrs. Weasley knits for Ron and Harry for Christmas… but what about the girl? Jazzy pop.

Fetishizing, The Benefit & The Chinese Fire Kites get aroused “(When You Wear) Your Christmas Sweater.” Punk driven pop fun.

Garth Brooks also does love that girl in “The Ugly Christmas Sweater.” She stands out, unlike his cookie cutter country claptrap.

Michael Flores loves that “Ugly Christmas Sweater” ‘cuz it’s ugly–i think. Home studio R+B cool pop.

Dude’s only friend is his top, so Jason Harwell is folky alt with his “Ode to a Christmas Sweater.” He’s talking to it. That’s not usual, is it?

Orange Para get all hypnagogic pop with their “Attractive Christmas Sweater.” The focus seems to be proximity to somone else warm, tho–

Don We Now: SWEATERS!!

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The Christmas sweater may have begun with Andy Williams and his televised holiday specials, but the BBC co-opted Christmas jumpers through the ’80s. THE joke gift of the ’90s, the so-called ugly hand-crafted relative-bestowed woolly overdecorated pullover fell by the wayside, only to become an ironic champion to the millennials in the 2010s.

We’ll cover a few days with the lovely songs about them, from sweetest to sourest.

The Ghost Script (Matt Thompson) countdowns the traditions that make December Christmas. With blaring jazzy pop, he finds his “Favorite Christmas Sweater” and becomes the hero.

Hanson (grown up!) falls in love at first sight with “My Favorite Christmas Sweater.” Pop folk.

Noah Glenn is also in love. “Christmas Sweaters” are pop rock symptoms of that overweening force. He’s a goner.

“Sweater, What Could be Sweeter?” is the rhetorical jazz pop poser from Bilbo Kipler. It was the best thing ever.

You know what’s the best? Listen to “Ugly Christmas Sweater” arranged by Daniel Semsen and find out what orchestrated pop show tunes say are the best.

Lovely floating altrock lifts “My Favorite Christmas Sweater” from Isaac Romero to heavenly drug states. That sweater makes him feel good.

Don We Now: where’d i put that?

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The thing about camouflge clothing–remember where you put it!

The sadness of serving is missing family, and some times are worse than others. So here comes country western to make you cry harder. (I’ve mentioned most of these afore.)

Let’s try “Camouflage and Christmas Lights” by someone new, the Duck Dynasty crew. Maudlin scene building of what it’s like over there with slow honky tonk.

Jenny Brown sings “Camouflage Christmas” missing her soldiering other. Tender country twanging, soaring angelic vocals. Gives the other boys jealousy.

Is this new? Michelle Lombardi pushes hard her “Christmas in Camouflage,” a pop country family sing-along. Slick sentiment.

Here’s one i know i haven’t mentioned: Slidawg & The Redneck Ramblers twist the sentiment to white trash comedy with a parody of ol’ yule ‘Blue Christmas’ into “Blue Camo Christmas.” Seems like ol’ Jethro was out inna woods huntin’ when he missed the holidays….

Don We Now: our self defined apparel

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Cross dressing for Christmas has some small following.

Bob Rivers does a silly naughty bit, but i like the reimagining of (and new intro for) “Walking Round in Women’s Underwear” by The Stag Party Quartet a cappella. (You know what carol that’s from.)

Robert K Wolf also makes brazen his “Crossdressing for Christmas.” Smoky honky tonk blues, if you can believe that.

Cumberland Sausage Show claims to have caught Santa wearing Mother’s silkies in “Cross Dress Christmas.” Poppy show tune.

A Don’t Hug Me Christmas Carol updates the Dickens into Minnesota, but also allows for a woman ‘they call Bill’ singing about fashionable choices from “Deep in the CLoset.”

Don We Now: unmentionably

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Underneath it all, we start the ensemble.

Courtney Stoddard has already described the “Mistletoe Bikini” of legend. Worth a second lick.

Considerably more family friendly, “Pink Panties, The Christmas Song” deals with presents (more later). Mark Scherbel spins a country tale of such decorous decorativeness, however, it must be visited here. Charming.

The best tribute to those novelty noel naughty underthings comes from Kacey Jones. Country comedy called “I’m Down to My Christmas Underwear” does not address that actual time of year, but the quandry concerning those things you won’t wear–ever.