Christmas Countdown: 17ç

Don’t forget Fountains of Wayne’s list: “I Want an Alien for Christmas.” Party rock that lists the qualities: flying, greenness, about seventeen eyes.

When Dr. BLT was seventeen, his dad shopped for Xmas roadside treats on the wrong side of the street with the folk kooky “Not the Kinda Ho (That Santa Had in Mind).” Word. Or at least ak-ward.

Jake Gussman hits the guitar begging to be invited over: It’s seventeen degrees out but I’m feeling warmer–Find another way to light a fire, again. “December’s Children” wants to be deep, but it’s just a cry for help. And a blanket. Pretty folk, though.

“There Goes Santa!” gets The Sneeks all reflective, like: Christmas eve, seventeen degrees, Got me thinking I might catch a cold and freeze. Garage rock that just tells it like it should be. No crying. Even with child commentary overlaid.

Christmas Countdown: 17√

Seventeen and Xmas? Crisis time! Let’s recall Jessica Molaskey and the hard-to-forget “Surabaya Santa.” This micro-opera about Mrs. Claus tells her tragedy from when she was just seventeen. Bra-freakin’-va!

Queen Elizabitch III intertwines times and ages from 17 (cold) to 25 (portentous) for the jazzy “A Free Woman in Chicago at Christmas.” Melancholic nostalgia with experimental scat and uncontrollable giggling.

Bukshot remembers When I was seventeen daddy hit a bad spell, so he raps about [BLUE ALERT] his “Broke Christmas.” You know, when kids are sacred, Get them presents it don’t matter what it’s paid with. From the money troubles, he resorts to shoplifting. And–and… ‘kay, there’s no happy ending in these beats. Sorry.

Also regretful about that seventeen-year-old time comes Ingrid Michaelson with some alt-rock poppiness in the form of “The Hat,” a symbol of what she knitted for you when it was cold. But now, three Christmases later, someone else is knitting for you. She dumped you. She’s sorry now.

Cellophane Linings whines, Christmas is just another day off from work for me And it’s been this way since I was seventeen in an emo-boy garage complaint, “Good Grief.” I feel ya, son, but find some merry in sumpin’, ‘kay? Cookies are good.

Christmas Countdown: 18<

BLUE ALERT rap “Foreign Xmas” is oddly nostalgic, Twist swearing while reminiscing. I’ll prolly’ wish I was still 18 when I’m 52: Good thing ’bout having kids will be the christmas mood. Dropping some wisdom on ya.

Armed with a Glock 18 and the F-word, Stupid Division raps BLUE ALERT “There’s No Reason to be Jolly.” Share the pain. (Santa, you’re next!) ‘Tis the season.

Cricket label ran my childhood, so i’m a fan of Rosemary Jun’s “I’ve Got 18 Cents.” This kid’s dilemma of what to buy whom for Christmas with that (adjusted for inflation = $1.90 today) is overly orchestrated kidsong full of celebration! Wait for that last note!

Joe Denim gets boy-rednick growing up with a sad plastic tree from Sears—must’ve lasted 18 years. Daddy’s solution was to buy a boatload of arms and hardware, then build a pile for a “Real Tree Camo Christmas.” Soft pop of the novel kind.

Christmas Countdown: 18>

Hokum by the bucket from Scotty McCreery who country/pops the reason for the season in “Christmas Comin’ Round Again.” Everyone’s forgiving everything, including that guy who hasn’t been home since he was 18….

Almost as cliche, Vanessa Campagna is heavily filtered for a “Diamond for Christmas.” It starts out innocently: A winter kiss acting all innocent baby Wrapped up in a blanket playin’ round like we’re 18–so not about carats at all. Cornball pop.

Sappy Daddy-on-leave country from Alan Doyle, “I’ll be There Christmas Eve” documents the desperate family man 18 hours out from Liverpool making the trek as seriously as possible. O. Kay. Fine.

The knee-slappin’ verzh of dumbin’ it down arrives with a shrill of air brakes from Styles Haury (that’s what he calls himself) in “Santa’s Comin’ in an 18 Wheeler.” Yee-haul.

Brent Kentrow remembers when the first few times he could say “It’s Christmas in Colorado.” 18 inches of snow, cheap decorations, and a roaring fire make for a mellow country melody. Friends, family are extra.

Christmas Countdown: 19!

Young Xmas love! We kissed beneath the mistletoe; We were just 19 years old sings Jack Mahon of his accented “Christmas Miracle.” It’s that kind of tinkly pop you can barely here in the back of a Starbucks.

A power outage for The Marsh Family causes the cry “Bring Us a Candle” for Christmas. Oddly the clock was stuck on 19… where are we?! Suprisingly good show tune pop.

And outside they were singing, The lights of Christmas Eve–But he’s lost in the darkness; Dreams are never what they seem Locked in Room 19 run the lines of the expressionistic experimental “Room 19.” Chanteuse Jill Tracy heralds in a scary Xmas.

Christmas Countdown: 19*

Well, the great Covid-19 Christmas song collection could fill its own blog. Stir crazy campers without enough to do overdo when it comes to talent. So let’s take a traipse down a short trail of offerings that mention that NINETEEN part (yes, in honor of 2019; but it’s its own thing, that number) for the holidays.

Strange man Rudy Ayoub gets cynically comic when “It is Covid-19 Christmas,” an upbeat browbeater of a pop jingle. Some of us liked being shut ins.

Rapping David King Jones is also gloomy in “The Covid19 Christmas Song.” It’s got me like–novelty music.

Roots of rock from Victor Copetti presents the earnest portrait “It’s a Covid Christmas.” Folk country strummin’; wistful more ‘n funny.

Dad rock brings the family friendly to “Covid Christmas.” Skoobie Snaks leans to lounge, but means well.

Strangely shaped Fathers blend in the punk with “The Christmas I could have Died.” Strangely still okay for kids.

An actual love song, “Christmas in Quarantine or: CO-HO-HOVID-19” slurs the alt lines with Daniel G. Harmann · Jasen Samford crooning from the heart. Baby, it’s Covid outside….

Christmas Countdown: 20

A frozen moment in poetry, “Coeur D’alene Lake Christmas Eve ’98” by Harrison Lemke haunts us with night before ghosts: The lit up numbers on the microwave Say it’s still Christmas Eve for twenty minutes longer. Eerie pop.

I can only sense earnestness rom “Christmas Eve (Where Reindeer Dare) (Mommy Can I Go Out and Carol Tonight?)” a metal masher from Lamonta. When they cheer Can’t believe my luck Grandma sent me 20 bucks! i believe in the true meaning.

Welcome back to Angry Johnny and The Killbillies! “Twenty Years Ago This Christmas” is more cornpone folk strumming, but–this time–i think the cheater/leaver isn’t gunned down, cleaned up, and buried in the backyard. The sad protagonist, however, may not make it.

Cady Groves sees Papa around Christmas for 20 years behind bars. Their “Crying Game” includes too-soon demises, poverty, and apathy. It’s a pop song to wake us all out of this misery matrix, but it’s so pretty i’m lulled.

Wil E. Haze is BLUE ALERT rolling by with 20 nah rims and Christmas Trees and more… “O Chronic Tree” is smokin’ rap of moderate naughtiness.

Also way down home, comes the country slow-burn of “Christmas Like the Movies.” Richard Watson drawls about Santa, who was barely twenty when he began work in the factory. Mrs. Claus is at the Walmart. Rudolph still thinks he’s some big deal. The iconic image of Xmas feels a million miles away. Now i’m sad.

Christmas Countdown: 21

Well, i could do with some more Sufjan Stevens! “Come On! Let’s Boogey to the Elf Dance!” is just about THE perfect-set swirliest of Stevens especially with 21 elves singing.

“The Twenty-First Century Santa Claus Blues” is more than existential. According to Nigel Mooney, it’s burnout–‘cuz everyone is a jerk. Swinging jazz.

Saint Etienne may be ironic wishing us a “21st Century Christmas.” The breathy millennial rock is all–oooh; but the lines about microwaving, toasting, and Thanks Uncle Jimmy Savile, they’re all like–ewww. See?

Christmas Countdown: 22

Headscratching time from Blink! Their pop (rap) seems to be addressed to a number. “Christmas 22” is an adrenaline thumper of beat poetry and has nothing much to do with Christmas.

Casiotone for the Painfully Alone also pay lip service to the holidays in “Cold White Christmas,” a painful, electronic mess of a life without any meaning to any season. The countdown here is like waiting for death. Downer pop for the twenty-two year olds.

NYC on December 22, Lewis Watson has more misery in the light pop of “Christmas Eve Alone This Year.” Man, seasonal depression’s a bitch.

Oddly upbeat as well, B. Wells (feat. DaVan Official) force-raps to ‘Nutcracker’ about how cold 22 degrees is in “A Ghetto Christmas.” Cold = blazing up; so, no worries.

Christmas Countdown: 23 down

It’s been twenty-three weeks Since life became so bleak, bewails “This Isn’t Christmas After All” rocked and metaled by Second Glance. Since… the Pandemic… and Santa died… and you know.

Had this poker face on for 23 days rap Thrice a Chuckle to the beat of inspirationally national humming. “Operation Santa Claus” is a kid deep undercover waiting up to see whether the Jolly Old Elf is genuine.

12/23 isn’t quite the last minute, but it gets us revving. “The Day Before the Night Before Christmas” is the pistol starter shot for being good from The Caroleers. Kidsong they way it used to be done.

If you’ve got a minute, take a bluesy walk down John Carroll’s chatty memory lane into “The Night Before the Night Before Christmas.” Great co-star guest list.

The Bobs, however, run a Peyton Place of suburban partying in “The Night Before the Night Before Christmas.” A cappella swing. Hold that note–!

Today we sing the praises of December 23rd ‘sing’ Paul and Storm in their slightly unharmonious march “Christmas Eve Eve.” See, according to the theory of contrast, humor springs from juxtaposing overbearing seriousness onto dismissive frivolity. So, ha.