Christmas Countdown: 11 and after

Insidious pop from Megan & Liz do All the counts: I wanna get up at five, Wanna feel like I’m six, Start a party at seven Keep it goin’, keep it goin’ Way past eleven; Wish it was Christmas time All the time! “It’s Christmas Time” is approved by Homeland Security to break sanity.

Ne-Yo has the sexy thing going on Xmas night: But its 2 am and we’ve been at it since 11:15. “Open Mine Tonight” is hot R+B in every room, every hour, until the kids show up.

Inca Jones has the regrets of “Another Miserable Christmas.” And its eleven thirty, and I’m feeling dirty Because I cursed you, and hurt you, and made you mad. So, lonely.

“This Ain’t New Jersey” is a couple’s last chance in a bar while the snow seals us in for the night. It’s tough times: Eleven thirty, Christmas Eve turning into Christmas Day: I ask you how you’re feeling; You answer ‘I’m aging.’ Hard pop. American tragedy from Smith & Burrows.

It’s “Christmas Everyday” for those freaks in the White House according to Snog’s early 2000s political analysis. [Dick Cheney’s in Halliburton heaven Since September Eleven.] Harsh commentary to anthematic pop.

Christmas Countdown: 11 o’clock

“[At Least for] A Little While” is a honky tonk song about an odd date: Baby, take me back to Christmas night, It was eleven o’clock when we got high. Good times.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen: Tonight, at this eleventh hour We have a very special treat for you: begins Legs Nose Robinson in a tribute to the Christmas 2013 Dr Who special in which Matt Smith is replaced by regeneration Peter Capaldi. “Goodbye Bowtie” is fun Brit pop.

Perhaps too drunk to appreciate the time of the year, Kristie K slur-raps, You know what’s going to happen When clock show eleven: You’ll be dancing and laughing. “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year” doesn’t seem quite so here.

Swinging between adult and childhood, Darryl Rahn folk-pops “I Guess It’s Christmas” about when he’d be up all night to when he’d be sleepin’ ’til eleven. I guess I just grew up. So sad.

Much more Christmassy, “It’s That Time Again” is a bluegrass inflected ditty about standing outside the church It was about eleven, and the service was about to start and wondering about what if Christ were here today, that present for Dad, and what was that light? Rich Krueger’s stream of consciousness is festive.

Christmas Countdown: 12 finally

What’s really strange and 12 and for Christmas?!

On Christmas Eve Salsa Boys saw a twelve-point down the street. So they alt-rock “I’m Gonna Get Me an Elk.” Turns out it was only a metaphor. Weird.

Fed up with capitalism: A week before Halloween–festive cards can be found in isle twelve–Merry Xmas! composclero gets all “Screwge.” Chill, dude, it’s only a cantaloupe.

Twilight Creeps would rather have Halloween, but All I see when I look up are 12 reindeer on Santa’s sleigh. Casting a ghoulish light on the winter fest, “Poison in the Mistletoe” rocks pop music with an evil glee.

“12 Angry Reindeer” is a muddled journey by House of Large Sizes. Rant received, but never seem to get out of the garage music.

Even worse is the oppression on the proletariat. Cashleaders raps All this over time and I’m still broke; Got my Christmas bonus looking like it’s bogus: Twelve whole dollars–boy I hope it ain’t blow it! “Christmas Blues” is the fuse on the powdering of the underdog.

Stephen Amick wants “Guitar Lessons for Christmas.” He may be intermediate, claiming I learned twelve songs with just C, D and G, but this off-key folk pop begs to classify him incorrigible.

Christmas Countdown: 12 more

What else is there twelve of for Christmas?

Pop song “Snowman” by Stephen Cohen with Venus XTC mush-mouths the ultimatum: true love or nothing (not even parties or presents or tables for twelve). Building a snowman with her does that, apparently. Talent shines here.

Kylie Minogue don’t want it to be a “Cried Out Christmas” without you. So, her pop song comes with directions: Get in a cab, or just take the blue line; It’s only twelve stops. There’ll be kissing if you make it home to her.

Rodolfo de la Peña in a similar vein wants not to have “Christmas on My Own.” His jazzy pop also gives directions but now they’re to himself: I’d take twelve steps just for one chance To whisper ‘you’re wonderful.’ Wait, that’s a program.

Mekhi Randle raps out 12 wishes from the “Red Sleigh.” These include a water bed, a Benz, but–BLUE ALERT–he’s not happy.

On the positive side Chris Brown raps happy: Feeling good yeah, I’m full of cheer (oh) I’ve been waiting for them 12 reindeer. “This X-mas” celebrates with R+B rhythms.

Boogie woogieing like it’s a real party, Phil Harrison spares no pun in his toe-tapping “Holly Said to Ivy“–But I’m gonna draw the line At twelve drummers drumming!

Getting into the spirit of things King Virtue proclaims: I sing twelve songs for Christmas; If they need more to make right, I’d sing twelve more to cure us. “12 Songs for Christmas” is startlingly spry pop music.

Christmas Countdown: 12:00

What time is it? time for another Christmas song!

Starshine Singers plan for 12:00 “Christmas Eve.” It’s not the present, it’s the presents! Magic! Sassy kidsong.

Grownups have less to look forward to, at times. As the clock strikes twelve, I
Miss your loving touch, moans Nine Aetheria about the piano pop “Holiday Wishes.” Wants you.

12 o’clock and all is well and I was doing oh so swell, Last year, this time. But now, “Christmas Ain’t Christmas (Without the One You Love),” so say The O’Jays. Doo wop with just a touch of disco.

Alex Jordan jazzes up some gumption when It’s 12 A.M. I’m just off work. On the way home he knows “A Light that Shines on Christmas.” It’s you, honey.

Maudlin Ronny Milsap intones As the church bell chimes about twelve times I slip into my easy chair To watch the fire die to an ember And drift into a winter dream Of a magical night in December And faith in a sight unseen. Middle of the road pop fails to make remarkable “Only One Night of the Year.” Sorry.

Glen Saldahna has better imagery, but When the time comes, and the clock strikes twelve it’s “Christmas in Every Town.” He’s been there and seen it. Pop so what?

Sugies is “Snowed In” but with her caffeinated pop music she’ll do ALL the Christmas stuff. Now it’s twelve in the afternoon and she’ll do a ton more. Exhausting.

Christmas Countdown: 12 hours

Christmas numerology twirls around 12 months, 12 days, and now 12 hours. What’s with this expression?

From the ‘Toyland’ musical Hanna Bielawa BLUE ALERT reveals the tears of an elf in the mad rapping showtune “Merry Christmas for Today.” Notice the elf! Not for twelve hours, but here to play.

Little Jackie applies R+B to the equation when she figures “Mrs. Claus“ got nothin’ on me: I can do 12 days of Christmas in 12 hours. Superhero music!

ZILF is another pissed elf. Clocking in hasn’t been more than twelve or so, Hours since I last clocked out into the freezing snow and there’s still so much to get done. Metal meets pop in “Red Snow,” a tale of having had enough. (Eliminate the fat red fool!)

Christmas Countdown: 12 months

“All I Want For Christmas,” country-drawls Toby Keith, is 12 more months of lovin’. That’s right. Don’t buy the millionaire nothin’.

Broken-hearted (more appropriately for the country music), Merle Haggard remarks that this “Lonely Night” marks twelve long months to remember. And to forget.

Just as worse off (maybe in the next twelve months there’ll be a chance), Broken Fires sighs about a “Winter Warmer” with you in it. Alt folk says it’s a long shot.

It’s been twelve whole months since he’s lost it over you, but Apollo Clone figures “I Deserve Coal” this Xmas for screwing it up with you. Rocking pop.

Jamie Lawson will be home 12 months to the day to see you, but it’ll only be “Footprints in the Snow” for the holidays. That was you walking away. Altpop.

Pounding altpop from She Wants Revenge mourns Christmas time again, the loneliest of all, the fear of how to make it to New Year’s: Raise your glass and toast to the one you miss the most And promise that you won’t be doing this again in twelve month’s time. This “Holiday Song” covers ALL the holidays, all the loneliness.

If you’re counting, Christmas comes every 12 months. Fake Zappa twists kid music into “Baby Santa Claus.” Spoiler alert: the baby born this day ain’t Jesus. Not in this chanting charmer.

Christmas Countdown: 12 days too much

Still counting, even for the wannabes and cliches.

Overenunciated elementary rap from King Ulysses merely lists the aspects of “Christmas in Miami.” 12 days get a shout out. So does everything else.

Caterwauling about Christmas being too late, Something Awful‘s Edward Mass screeches the “Twelve Days” with an apology solo.

Gospel sotto voce from Stello Clark & Solomon James (feat. Marquitta Minniefield) “Christmas Countdown” begins three months out, then proceeds to 12 days before Christmas. All throughout the year I don’t care if you’re feeling your best… ‘cuz here it comes!

“12 Santa Babies” applies the excuse of the song’s math to demand more presents (prolly stole the idea from Chanukah). Big band diva sultriness from Dave Keyes and Duchess Di (Diane Cricchio ).

“Season’s Greetings” is some corny rap about loving and wanting and needing from Latroy (feat. Unfamiliar Keys). He wants to spend 12 days with you!

Diva pop from Céline Dion: “The Magic of Christmas Day (God Bless Us Everyone),” makes it all about love, not just twelve days in December. Senti&monu-mental.

Cheesy pop makes School Gyrls’ “Twelve Days of Christmas“–12 days to fall in love, btw–a harder sell.

Some are without their bae. “This Christmas (I’m Coming Home)” by Betty Anne and Brian Watts jazz pops (sax echo!) the reunion. After weeks without, he’s looking forward to 12 sunny days with you! Where IS this?

Budak Pantai begins “Hey Baby It’s Christmas” with Jim Croce then extends time out of the bottle and into the pop listing of the birds, etc. Hey baby hey. Decent mashupping.

Christmas Countdown: 12 days some more

Not the same song, but Christmas and 12 days mentioned are still rampant. “All 12 Days” is a remonstrance from Bah & the Humbugs for you not celebrating (and getting the time off work) for the complete holiday. (Warning: original ’12 Days’ are included in here.) Still, fun exhortatory symphony.

Humorous filtered rap from lil dimwit, “Kill a Tree” pokes fun at the mad trads of the season, including 12 days of Christmas movies.

Misery makes for good music: Anyway It’s been twelve days, Now your tracks are filled with snow croon-mopes Karma Queen in “What’s So Merry?” Descending pop chords that spiral into fractals.

Church Pants also dreads the worst, like when it “Rains on Christmas.” Tinkly altpop that muses over Cleaning up ornaments of glass, Waiting for twelve days to pass. Dreamy.

Angelic pop from Lorena McKennitt wishes us for Twelve days in the year much mirth and good cheer “In Praise of Christmas.” (Actually it’s ‘Drive the Cold Winter Away’ but more evangelical.) Uplifting.

Rufus Wainwright’s excellent 99%er folk tale “Spotlight on Christmas” measures of plight of the workers (Christmas hours) over the rich (diamonds and pearls): You could measure it in blood, You could measure it in mud; Let us say for these twelve days Put the measurin’ away Cause it’s Christmas.

Christmas Countdown: the 12 days–worst

The horror that is ‘The 12 Days of Christmas’ will not die, whether it’s listing phrases particular to pirates, rednecks, Black Santa, fast food, JC, his disciples, stressed students, COVID-19, sweaters, drugs, kid stuff, romance, weaponry, IT, psychoanalysis, homosexuality, sexual perversion, regrets, online revenue, and nihilism.

Then there’s the regional: the beach, the Delta, the Bayou, the Bahamas, Newfoundland, the Midwest, Vegas, NYC, Hawaii, Mexico, Canada, Australia, Scotland, Ireland, England, Germany, Russia, China, Japan, South Africa, Kenya, India, Honduras, China, and travel in general.

Naturally, there’s also pop media ‘culture’: The Simpsons, ‘The Lion King,’ Harry Potter, The Lord of the Rings, Pokemon, Barbie, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Phineas & Ferb, Sonic, the Penguins of Madagascar, Smurfs, He-Man, Star Trek, Star Wars, Fortnite, Zelda, Warcraft, Minecraft, Stranger Things, The Walking Dead, and overall fantasy/superhero nerd.

There’s no end to these. Make it stop.

But, novelty Christmas music is my mission, so i’ll allow runners up in the humor dept: The Christmas Pranksters, Brandon Rogers, and–omigod–Vihart.

Then there’s original folk melody from Peggy Seeger. Horizon broadening.

My fave-o, though, to end on a semi-positive note, is the Billy West voice impersonation from the Christmas Party with Eddie G album. Spread between various songs are these ‘outtakes’ from a Three Stooges “Twelve Days of Christmas” parody. Terrific stuff.