Christmas Countdown: 8:00

It must be close to eight, Been awake since close to five joins the happy light pop of Common Jack’s “The Christmas Tree is Fake.” That’s not a bad thing, just a childhood memory.

What’s a Mrs. Claus to do? She left the ‘pole at a quarter to eight when Santa was riding his reindeer driven sleigh. “It’s Christmas Eve” by Slim Cat & Fisherman Joe is a slightly off rocker about annual misconduct. Boom chicka boom.

“Is It Almost Christmas” wonders Lizzy Hilliard in soaring, almost gospel tones. I need to sled and go to bed before the clock strikes eight, she dutifully points out. Endearing.

Waking up at eight to go to work… Can’t wait til’ it’s over ’cause it’s colder than hell. Hitrick & Brooks (feat. CJ Hughes) harmonize some white boy doo wop for “Go Away Snow.” They hate it. I love it.

The clock’s striking! Please meet me, dear, at eight P.M. and bring your “Christmas Kisses,” sings Marty Robbins with country rock tortured into easy listening hell.

Family dinner at eight and I won’t be late! discos Bros in their party tribute “I’m Coming Home for Christmas.” Electric slide!

More leery about being home for Christmas, Ralph Keefer doles out plaintive folk with “An Old Suitcase.” Leaving on Sunday, dinner at 8; It’s the red-eye special and he doesn’t want to be late–cuz he’s the daddy. Terrific horn solo.

Monochrome Tone mixes reverence with childish gags in “Christmas Time,” a chorale that mixes R+B pop with rap, squeaky with bass. Gonna sleep past eight….

Salt-N-Pepa update “Santa Baby” with the rap lyrics: Now all mase know When it’s eight twenty-four He be looking at the door for the ho ho ho. Necessary?

Welcome back, Arrogant Worms! “The Christmas Song” is beer barrel frenzied polka about THAT family at Christmastime (Police arrive just after eight). Duck!

Christmas Countdown: 9 et alia

All Brandt Paul Brandt paints a pedestrian picture [On the marquee sign at 5 and 9 The latest movie shows] the night “A Star is Born.” Fine fiddling in this country run-of-the-mill muddle.

Thomas Itty wishes us “Happy Holidays” for Christmas, Hanukkah [nine candles all told], Diwali, Kwanzaa, and even Festivus. It’s happy folk rock, so i’m good. In fact, excellent guitar work. Bravo.

“Christmas in the Tropics” seems blissful, but it can mess up your Santa-sense. Skye tells us with ukulele pop: I never seem to notice That fall passes by–Garlands and inflatables–Before November nine! She’ll figure it out.

See, from Canada you gots ta plan your travel: getting on those Dash 8s and DC 9s to be home for the holidays. Yeah, “They’ll Be on the Rock This Christmas” (Newfoundland, eh?)–but David Kai is staying in the factory and working overtime. So this is his sad pop song.

Gimson & dadbOdd have a message for you about your hypocrisy, ostentation, and condescension: they “Don’t Need That for Christmas.” Bopping BLUE ALERT rap that sees we’re Full of 9th step amends that I like to pretend we’re getting gifted. Judged!

Lauren Mayer’s “Nine Words” for a Jew to remember around Christmas are: They tried to kill us we survived, let’s eat! Revival music!

Celebrating the Something Awful production of their ninth compilation of truly strange Christmas songs, BSam intones Ho Ho Ho “It’s Christmas No. 9” for over ten minutes. (Expect psychedelic interruptions a la The Beatles.) You’re welcome.

Christmas Countdown: 9 violence

How does a 9mm pistol get mixed up with the holidays? Welcome to the U S of A!

With ‘All I Want’ haunting us in the background, Kazekage borders on BLUE with the rap “Let It Snow.” This is Santakage with the nine, so pimpin’ and packin’.

Insane Clown Posse MANDATORY BLUE ALERT is mad at The Big Guy when they get nothing for Christmas. When they see him Leadin’ the parade I’m that sniper on the buildin’ Listen to my nine go click in “Santa’s a Fat Bitch.”

Nerfonator is in dire straits, unable to buy the daughter presents for Xmas. So, via rap, homicidal armed robbery ensues. But, caught and cornered: I just pick up the .9 Loading the clip one last time Point it to my mind with pride and–happy holiday endings! “Frostbite” is not everyone’s Xmas special. Leave it there.

“Sheriff Naomi vs El Bandito” (by the band ???) is a spoken word ode to a Wild West showdown (with wild recorder backdrop). On Christmas Day the bad guy threatens, Naomi, I gotta shoot you nine times. It doesn’t go as he’d hoped. (Cute as a school play, and i’m sorry i missed this for my 1883 entry.)

Christmas Countdown: 9 aerosols

For many Xmas is a time of happiness. Can we count how high up this joy? Cloud nine, duh!

In “Christmas Came Early” Peyton Glynn may not be into Christmas that much. I wake up every morning treat it like a holiday, he raps–adding (i suspect only for the rhyme): I’ve been on cloud nine. Sufficient talent, though.

When Brittany Bloom is the present for you she souls out: On cloud nine we’re floating. “A L-O-V-E Christmas” spells it out for you. Diva overboard!

ChrisWoo is feeling it, too. Yeah, I’m on Cloud nine, Your heart’s next to mine, so “This Christmas Feels Right.” R+B flirtation.

Christmas with you, It’s the only thing, puts me on cloud nine, mumbles Gareth Heesom in his bluesy country. But, see, “Christmas Without You” isn’t that.

More speicifically, Spring Lovelle claims, Hot cocoa in a steaming mug keeps us singing and dancing on cloud nine. But “This is Christmas” is that jazzy vapid pop of greeting cards and generic well-wishing. I fell onto cloud seven.

New Found Glory rocks out their need to find the perfect “Christmas Card.” Since you make ’em feel like their on cloud nine they’ll never give up looking. Not for 2:07 anyways. Great shopping music.

Christmas Countdown: 9 reindeer

We’ve feted reindeers before (May-August 2021), but there’s always a few more songs….

Almighty Banks BLUE ALERT gets to be the nasty Santy in “Merry Christmas.” Rappin ’bout how: I’ll pull up in a sleigh with nine deer just to have them looking. Not sure if that’s sexual, but the rest is.

I suppose you were expecting cornball country! Like, say, Conway Twitty (and Twitty Bird) putting “Nine Little Reindeer” to cowboy quickstep music. well, i say thee nay.

Instead, The Sound of Monday turns Ho ho ho into Hey hey hey with “Lovin’ Santa’s Daughter.” But they’re sneaking’ under nine pairs of hoof (count ’em), so (???) i don’t know. But this surf rock spritely satisfies. So, huh.

Richard Melvin Brown plays soft jazz rock for his entirely serious “Santa’s Ninth Reindeer.” It’s a Rudolph song you probably have never heard. Ready?

Now, i ardently listen to Dr. Demento in the ’70s and could recite the lyrics to Benny Bell’s “Shaving Cream” at will. So, knock me over with a feather when i discovered Joel Samberg had updated this classic into “Holiday Shaving Cream” which includes building models of nine reindeer at night and finding behind them the next morning…

Christmas in Middle-Earth may not feature reindeer, in fact I sent the Nine, not reindeer, Ghosts. Who is this sender? Your clue is the title of the song “Eye See You (It’s Christmas).” It’s Sauron! This completely whack-a-doo Bossa nova delight from Brendan Dalton and The 1740 Boys Choir is the nerdy novelty you never knew you needed. Huzzah, it’s here.

Christmas Countdown: 9 couture

Xmas is the time to dress up. Or is that the weather? Baritone intones in his word jazz opus: you’ve dress to the nines with jewels that sparkle, Now it feels like Christmas, I love… “The First Snow.” Lounge jazz with a Barry White coolness.

Leon Shelly gets more figurative with his “Ideal Paradigm.” This industrial folk wants an angel Under the Christmas tree, Unwrap her decorative paper, Beads of rosary, Dressed to the nines. Holiday ideals.

Coleman Spruce jingles some fine folk/honky tonk pop when he celebrates “It’s Christmas Here, Again.” It’s a fine line when I pour the wine, Be it red or white or nine seems to mark fine dining and partying, but then launches into some odd ‘Christmas Carol’ allusions.

“Jiggy Christmas” includes turkey sizzling with fried rice and Groomsmen more than nine guys. Figure that’s dressing UP. But the Yoruba from Yung Ziggy dresses up the wishes even more.

Christmas Countdown: 9 years old

Nine years old is about right for digging the mysticism of the holidays. ‘Ceptin’ maybe the desperation of loneliness that prompts lyrics like: You say you’ll always love me like You love your hamster that died when you were nine. Laasko’s “Hang Me in the Christmas Tree” is party rock that softens the icy isolation.

Also disturbing is the admission Had a crush on santa Since I was 9 years old which begins “Christmas Crush,” a headbangin’ garage rocker from Home Grown. The sexual role playing to come, however, may backfire.

When he was nine, the narrator’s mom got shipped off to Iraq. Eleven, he got the new she was KIA. Dad, a failed rocker, went to prison… “Pumpkin Songs” are the Smashing Pumpkin tunes the dad aspired to. This experimental garage weird-out celebrates the anticipation of dad coming back home for Christmas. Give this Getting High in Dubai sojourn a minute, would ya?

A note’s still scribbled in my spine From Christmas day when you were nine, announces “The Book Beside Your Bed” (the Bible, y’see). Hayden Joseph leans earnestly into the country music about how to rediscover goodness. Touching.

Sorry, but Hanson time. Don’t matter if you’re nine or ninety-eight, Everyone’s waiting for the chance to say: “Finally it’s Christmas” begins their pop rock entry into the forgettable Xmas song playlist. Yeah, they were still trying in 2017.

Now Jonnie never got his wish December 25th, That’s what he said when we left the orphanage Nine years old is the broadside salvo from TobyMac. But “This Christmas (Father of the Fatherless)” turns into an uplifting R+B rap mashup of heartwarming family making. Who’s your Daddy?

Finding the joy outta inner city Chi-town Back back back when Ronnie was 9, TiRon & Ayomari make the rap/pop “I Wish It Was Christmas Today” a pretty postcard from hope central. Spirited and spiritual.

Folk rock from Kevin Taylor takes us down “Christmas Tree Lane.” It’s like memory lane ’bout that girl: She was maybe 8 or 9 and her Heart was bursting at Christmas time With memories and melodies. This summary from older regrets plays romantic AND lonely art the same time.

If you fall over the motion picture musical “Searching for the Spirit of Christmas” lemme know. I find no traces (but the soundtrack) on Google or Roku or anywhere. The titular song, involves Alisha Nordquist looking with the aid of a glowing ornament her mom gave her when she was 8 or 9. Lots of gender fluidity. Silly pop showtune.

Christmas Countdown: 9 in time

Cshakuore of Devaune Temple raps “Christmas Everyday” to pleasant Spanish guitar. Seems to be just hangin’, though the braggadocio of sexual prowess keeps coming up. Mentions a tech n9ne, but also Thankin’ Jesus for today now that’s a bar that u can carry For 9 months. Uh huh.

For 9 long months we’ve alone–so Matthew Jordan is ready for even a “Socially Distanced Christmas.” Cheesy pop fun.

Chris Jones wants to make a case ’bout Jo and Mary fleeing the census (with her nine months out) in “No Sanctuary Here,” being ’bout the same as immigrants chased by INS at the border. Smooth blues makes the agenda go down easier.

Klaus Blatter reinvents the Nativity where God wants a son, has the hots for Mary, and (Here We Go!) nine months later… “Christmas Techno Dance.” Outrageous rave music.

More reverently, Henrisoul carib-raps the Nativity as “True Story (A Christmas Story).” [This one no be action film na real life story] the spirit of God na him enter inside the woman wey e give am belle so… Nine months time everybody start to jubilate.

Christmas Countdown: 9 to 5

Now, some “Funky Christmas.” Keenan Back (feat. Samirah Tariq, Liam Back, Bennykaay, Merlin Schneider & Martin Rudkowski) mashes up R+B with disco to declaim: So grab your loved ones, Leave behind your 9 to 5, Enjoy your life–’cause baby; It is christmas time.

On this Christmas We aim at the sky, The dreams we could attain; And I rocked a 9 to 5–The food it couldn’t wait! Bukas Sīgurø wades into the pop slugger “Wonderful Night” with verve. Not sure what it all means, but this Canadian adopted Haitian parties.

Vilardz raps ironic apologies for all the swag he bestows at Xmas. Santa working 9-5 that’s one hell of a shift. “Christmas Hype” begins with a ‘Bells’ beat, but it grows up.

The Tractors have been themselves workin’ nine to five, but Told my boss he could stick it so they could be “Swingin’ Home for Christmas.” It is swing. Get some.

Christmas Countdown: 9:00

Why watch the clock around the holidays? Ask The Federales. They’ll tell “Santa Don’t Stop at the Bar Christmas Eve.” …before you know it you’re waking up in the parking lot at 9am on Christmas morning with the sleigh’s radio on pretty loud… Rockabilly with a little lounge and excellent steel guitar whining.

Deathsex Bloodbath’s “One Christmas Night” is a one-night stand. In the aftermath, all the Xmassy imagery is now naughty. But it’s 9 A.M. and mum expects you… childish garage nudge-nudge.

Nostalgia’s a time-keeper. “Christmas was Better a Decade Ago” is the ponderous pop plodding we get from MAIC: 9 am I open my eyes I see that it is snowing outside; I walk downstairs, I get dressed up, and then i stick my tongue out to the sky–Do u realize it′s all in the past?

Set on an Xmas Eve at 9 when the power cuts out and Dad scrambles to save the night so he sings “Have You Seen My Love?” Drew Dillon pours his heart into this gentle pop showtune.

Will Santa come tonight? I’ll wait all night from nine, belabors Laura Fireball in the laid back pop tune “However Many Christmases.” The accent that makes most of the words sound like over words is autotune.

“Snowfall” by William Hutt is an alt-folk portrait of love and wondering. The city after nine is the best time to observe this.

Wanting December to last forever, Jessey Wyzgowski sashays vocals around some pop folk guitar in “Divine Christmas.” Some fun! Go outside in the snow…Or we’ll stay inside by candlelight Drinking eggnog ’til it’s half past nine.

“Santa Don’t Forget the Whiskey” is the bluesy rap from The Southern Rap Commission. Especially since Liquor stores shut down at nine o’clock tonight. Fun.

But, now: It’s after 9, on the night of Christmas Eve–so it’s time for “Groovy Christmas.” Andrew Cassara mashes up R+B and lame pop. Tweaks more than grooves.

Sleighbells ringing, carol singing, pop a cork of red after 9, ooh, ooh ooh ohh, ooh ooh, maunders Bubblez in the unplugged, overwritten charmer “Bring Out the Wine.” The poetry’s got game, even if the same two chords over and over don’t.

Christmas morning? Don’t oversleep! Get up, get up (it’s twenty-five to nine) Come and see the big surprise, chortle Carlos Fandango Music in “Feel the Magic.” Throat closing Brit-pop.

“Christmas Round at Our House” is full of numbers: midnight, quarter past three… and–Uncle Joe’s been on the lager; He’s been at it since half past nine And now he’s getting flirty with Barbara–She’s the girl who lives at number five. This rocking mess of dysfunctional family and great expectations is more soothing than you might think. John C Evans is a sympathetic songster.