Year-round Yuletide oddities
Does Santa have a pirate designation? According to School District 49 it’s ‘Mad Jackson.’ But i’m not feeling it.
Don’t forget Patchy the Pirate who introduces ‘SpongeBob SquarePants.’ He also introduces the Christmas special. With the theme song, and ‘Christmas!’ shouted at the end.
Parry Gripp’s triumphant return to our blog features funny voices, pop music, and rap, so… not my favorite–sorry. “Pirate Santa Claus” is a reformed plunderer, teaching kids important lessons. Yawn.
The Wiggles’ returning pirate character Captain Feathersword gets a holiday lesson concerning pigging out in “It’s a Christmas Party on the Good Ship Feathersword.” He’s a friendly pirate, ‘cuz he refers to all you out there as ‘me hearties.’ Aww.
Captain Fear Facer won’t face joy in the Sing-Along with two sides: “Pirates Don’t Celebrate Christmas.” To be honest, it’s Oliver the crocodile who eschews, Capt. FF persuades him otherwise in this too-cool-for-school earthy pop song.
The Radish Friends shout in the basement for the serious swerve on ‘Three Ships’ filled with buccaneer jargon in “I Saw Three (Pirate) Ships.” At least they‘re having fun.
“I Saw Three Pirate Ships” by BellaZen Electric is a sweet mashup of ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ and that old carol. It’s instrumental, but masterful. And i loves that Hans Zimmer power.
Pirates drink grog, right?
We’re glanced at Jimmy Buffett’s “Ho Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum” before. Overorchestrated pop that wants to be smooth calypso when it grows up, it’s a Santa escape tale. (As well as the superior–in humor and talent–punk take by The Cucumbers. Santa be nasty here.)
Less piratey is Taco and De Mofos dealing with fam and other relationships in the bouncy house of rap from “Ho, Ho, Ho & a Bottle of Rum.” See, he’s gonna have his fun… drinking all the pain away… like a thief on the open seas. (?)
Cobbled together out of Treasure Island and sung by Craig Toungate, “Yo, Ho, Ho, and a Bottle of Rum!!” is a fine shanty of offensively inoffensive pop Celtic music. It is not quite holiday-centric, but fun. The Roger Wagner Chorale makes a meal of it. Had to lean into pirates celebrating, darkly as they do.
Tom Mason and the Blue Buccaneers take a less novel approach to their album A Pirate’s Christmas. It sails fair waters of standards with aught but the occasional sitar, shanty, or argh. Some fine fiddlin’, but that cut no mustard with our blog. Still, for your consideration….
“It’s Christmas Day” is a dandy number, a rollicking Celtic how-to celebrate and decorate. Just happens to be on a ship. No fuss ’bout that at all. ‘Ceptin’ for that insistent trombone.
“Yo Ho Ho (Pirate’s Christmas)” is the gem at the top of the treasures. A shanty of Santa vs. the pirates re-teaches us that Mr. Christmas is not tone trifled with. It’s a party song that tells a tale. A lessons those what need be.
Gastronomical Unit returns in their not-so-bad “A Pirate’s 12 Days of Christmas.” It IS repetitive, but it is also indulgent fun and hints at wit.
“A Pirate Christmas” begins a move we shall see again, a medley of piraticized Xmas carols. Tom Smith swings around his clever wordplay like a dead cat, likely to smack you at some point.
I may have mentioned Pirate Stu more than a handful of years ago, and his ‘Jingle Bells’ parody may not merit more mention, but “Jingle Piratopus” IS about a pirate octopus. Not something you hear every day.
Michael Scott Dublin (feat. Robert O’Connor & Mark O’Shaughnessy) bring Santa and a pirate together for a lively pop address: “Yo Ho Ho! And A Merry Christmas.” They have more in common than you’d think.
Hello Wonder indies “Dear Santa (A Pirate’s Request)” from the daughter of a pirate to the only one she knows who can make her dad nice, not naughty. Too cute for words!
Captain Dan & The Scurvy Crew ask Santa directly for cannons and whatnot in “A Pirate Christmas” all the while planning on ambushing, robbing, and slaughtering the jolly old elf. These pirates bite off more brass monkey than they can chew. Kiddie rap.
“Christmas Pirate” from Eye Suck metal rocks the benefits from being naughty at the wrong time.
Mighty Magic Pants is mighty kid friendly with their “Pirate’s Christmas Eve.” This is about the Caribbean setting (and music). Apart from a couple bits o’ jargon, no piracy threatens.
Whilst on the high seas, keep an eye out for the skull’n’cross bones. Will those scurvy dogs feel the Xmas spirit? Mayhap not as many as regular sailors, yet a month’ll do.
Some swashbucklers commit to the concept and whole albums are aborned from their need to ope the coffers and share and share alike. Unpirately! says i. Still, The Bilge Pumps have an unholy admixture of sophomoric parodies of carols and other family fun, cleaved with casual rapine and murder. Uhh… A Pirate’s Christmas Wish combines spoken skit and nearly good music to their own end. Ye have been warned.
I can recommend “Pirate Yells” (‘Silver Bells’) for imagination and actual YE-ARGHS; “Carol of the Beers“(‘Carol of the Bells’) for performer energy and steel drums; and “More Rum, Gloria” (‘Gloria in Excelsis Deo’) for less explicit sexual assault and charming harmony. But, this thing is nearly three dozen offerings!
Regardless, “Johnny the Steampunk Pirate” (‘Rudolph’) stands out for novelty and morning drive DJ sound effects. Laser eyes!