Year-round Yuletide oddities
Making with the kid assembly song, Maynard Music brings us a kids’ choir proclaiming “A Pirate Christmas.” Band music, but short.
Pirates love Christmas, according to Tiny Tots. Yet, Santa seems ignorant of delivering gifts at sea. He’s got a prejudice that these freebooters were bad. But what about their children?? Who’s the villain now?! For an answer, try “Pirates Christmas Day,” a folk/easy listening tale as old as the briny deep.
Demographics like standard deviations, but the reality is weirdos consume as well. So there’s gotta be a market for basement dwelling pals who grapple with talent to be funny. Probably they crack each other up with their naughtiness and iconoclasm, but Pirate Party the Band is just bloody awful. Their parody album Xmas Marks the Spot plays with traditional carols in a piratical way. Sexiness is of the porn kind, minimalist. Wit is of the sophomoric kind, swear words. Seems largely improvised. The only track i Might recommend–out of Dadaist sentimentality–would be “Ninja Fisherman’s Christmas Bash.” Rambling lyrics and story (I don’t have a fuckin’ idea what I’m singin’ about) about times of olde. ‘Slike i always say: too many drugs (or not enough).
When Santa’s sleigh is ground by the TSA, “Pirate Santa Karl” steps in. Fugli warbles the folk into this shanty. ‘Tis a fine tale, i tells ye.
Captain Blog and Salty end their pirate-themed club show with a ‘Night Before’ lead in to “Santa Walked the Plank.” See, the pirates didn’t like that whole naughty label… Indie pop with a great backbeat.
Randall Standridge Music Products has a nice mashup of carousing pirate music and traditional carol instrumentals, “Santa the Barbarian and the Pirates of the North Pole.” This school band recital music is fun and melodic. A real time waster. Y’know, like classical music is s’posed to be.
The Boarding Party makes with the jug band to orchestrate their “Christmas for a Buccaneer.” It’s a tough row to hoe, but ho ho ho it all they’re game.
A bit lacking in the piratical mien, El Camino rockabillies “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” about Big Red bringing this guy his gal. Then they can call out Yo Ho Ho. Always room for rockabilly.
Cowboy Andy and The Salamanders pop up the kidsong of “Pirate Santa.” This time, it’s Captain Blarg who impersonates the Red One, staving off ennui (mutiny?) by passing out gifts. Guess what he got Mad Monkey Man mark? Mostly a list, but jumpy fun.
CHRISTMAS CAT AND THE PUDDING PIRATES by married team Christopher Lillicrap & Jeanette Ranger is another kidmusical full of shouting and giggling. In a British way. On the SS Santa Claus the characters are colorful. The Captain checks in music hall fashion that everything is “Ship Shape.” Wot fun. “Myrtle the Beautiful Mermaid” is a siren song of fate and love. The old school R’n’R of “Pudding Rock” is a show stopper of enjoying the Christmas pudding. Danceable. The show degrades to treacle after that. No pudding thievery is sung about. Sorry.
Knight_Legend22 posts another collection of “Pirate Christmas Carols.” Well done musically. Not the funniest. Did like the line: a Santa’s life for me.
David Rovics fires up the kidsong to recall how Santa dealt with an economic collapse by becoming “Pirate Santa.” Man’s gotta treat, and without bounty–that won’t sail. Clever and well done.
Sean Leigh’s “Pirate Christmas Song” with lounge rock recounts the traditions of those lawless seamen: dirty jokes, homemade gifts, and Spam. Amateur amusement.
“Christmas with Alestorm” features the merry metal of the band Alestorm singing a true Gaelic ballad about Christmas Eve in pirate land. Most of the line ending rhyme with rum, and no one remembers the night before. But….
Cities Never Sleep take no prisoners in their grunge rocking “Yo Ho Ho, Merry Christmas.” They’ll steal your hearts and sail to new sunsets. Like pirates! Watch out for the spoken epilogue.
Mandrew the dog was The Yogscast’s amazing “Brand New Friend at Christmas Time.” He was actually a super-powered new friend, who fought robots, put the toilet seat down, and Rescued pirates from their sinking ship (and pulled Santa’s sleigh). Sadly this means he’s not home for cuddles as much as he could be. Frolicsome pop.
Swedish band Ye Banished Privateers have been dropping albums for a decade, but their Xmas offering A Pirate Stole My Christmas is only a couple years out. They had offered annual holiday/pirate stuff for years, and so finally compiled. This is straight up caroldies, or parodies of traditional carols. But their growlings are scary and their wit is sharp. Clumsy, but educational, is “Sulphur Ahoy,” a mashup of ‘Merry Gentlemen’ and ‘Pat-a-Pan.’ In it we fear the scurvy, as well as the antique treatment of sulphur fumes. Phew! Better is “O Cannonball” (‘O Tannenbaum’) about the high pitched fear of attacks from on far. And even more better “Drawn and Quartered” is ‘Ding Dong Merrily on High’–but about an executed pirate. Best is “Ring the Bells,” an almost unrecognizable ‘Jingle Bells’ about all hope being lost. Groovy. We approve.
