Some folks take the long lists and crowded aisles in stride while Xmas shopping.
Garage pop from A Shaw Thing tries to lean in to the marathon with “Christmas Shopping.” Up beat and beat up.
Bluesy funk from J Randy Krauss makes family “Christmas Shopping” a sentimental lovefest. Too far?
Manic depressive from Ren and Stimpy. “We’re Going Shopping” covers the great and the groans of their expedition. Happy happy joy joy prevails.
More love/hate from Anarchic Worms with their electro pop “Shopping Gifts for Christmas.” It’s like a Stephen Hawking dance album.
Rockabilly sells it. “Christmas Shopping” by Angry Johnny and The Killbillies honky tonks the spirit within an inch of its life. Wouldn’t wanna be on their list, tho.
Black Friday is traditionally the kickoff to Christmas shopping. It’s been a couple years since i trowled out Black Friday songs for Christmas. There have been some recent developments:
Harsh judgment from The Homeless Gospel Choir in the form of “Black Friday.” Alt, not gospel. Although prayers for the departed are included.
Real Digital Music ramps up the anger slightly for “Forget Black Friday Song!!” Listless rap; black sales don’t matter.
Rusty Cage (slightly BLUE) bebops cute kid music to underscore his deadly “Black Friday Song” message. Graphic imagery, but, y’know, y’tube.
Let’s spend some time searching, acquiring, prepping, and delivering the packages that pack the proper punch. (And NO special love messages that i-only-want-you, or Christ is the gift of God [that he hung on a tree]… no no no, we want mercantile materialism to minimize the malaise of modern madness. I said gimme gimme gimme, kay?)
So shop until we drop the pretense of what this holiday is all about.
The Russian Futurists proffer some electro-pop “100 Shopping Days ’til Christmas.” BLUE ALERT, but this is so lovestruck and iconoclast, it gets thumbs up without reservation. Dance, consumers!
One of Cledus T Judd’s less clever bits of irony is “364 More Shopping Days ’til Christmas.” You’re to never stop shopping year-round, get it? Plodding and predictable, it is still humorous. Leave it to Cledus.
Durand Bernar parties hip hop pop with “Christmas Shopping in July,” infecting us with symbolic joie de vivre bordering on dyspeptic mania. It’s about the feeling, but all good holiday songs are.
“What is Christmas Without a Tree?” wonder Sno Cones with pop rock, tambourine, and Spanish guitar. (It’s like Easter without the bunny.) (It’s like this blog without this song.)
As mentioned afore, location may determine the availability of a good tree. Rusty Wellington pushes the c-western envelope with “There’s No Christmas Tree in Vietnam.” Our boys!
But, no trees in Trini?! “No Trees for We” worry General Grant with some shakin’ parang.
Treemouth wonders about the should have beens while rocking out about the loss of his “Christmas Tree.” He’s got none. Sad. But rhythmic.
Big R+B from Roy C who has no woman no cry no tree in “Christmas Without a Tree.” Ain’t nobody here but me. Blue now.
Minister Johnson classily cools R+B with a larcenous libretto about a B+E in “Where’s My Christmas Tree?” Poor screaming guy, they even took his biscuits!
I’m coming around to the idea that some of these Christmas Tree entitled songs are jumping on the log truck bandwagon and have nothing to do with celebrating the holidays after all.
Or i can’t tell what the sap they’re talking about.
But i like the songs.
Mattie D’s “Christmas Tree” overwhelms us with percussive urgency.
Mike Red & Rai P sample off the ‘Home Alone’ movies. “Christmas Trees” lays the angry rhymes down. BLUE ALERT
Word jazz accompanied by experimental jazz (it almost tells a story…) “Black Christmas Tree” somehow from Midget Handjob. Enter at your own risk.
“Christmas Tree” from Romantic Beats may be trying to trick us, but the angelic distortion of pop music lulls me to confused submission. Ahhh.
Under the Bodhi Tree torture their “Pink Christmas Tree” with grinding club rock. But what in the dickens is it?
Does anyone sing along with metal? Twitch’s “Christmas Tree” has an angry punk message (i think) but mostly keeps time (to me). You try it.
Ditto for amped punk. EXTREME BLUE ALERT “Christmas Tree Farms” by way of Snag spews vitriol, and i guess some December framework.
180! Light gentle jazz pop from The Pearlfishers intoning some Rod McKuen-style poetic sloppiness with “A Christmas Tree in a Hurricane.” Like a musical intro for a ’80s sitcom.
Also tender, Borderline Beauty (which seems to associate the growth with peace) cries out for “Christmas Tree Without an Oh.” Folk rock on a mission to change the world through poetry.
Guy Capecelatro III has a concept album (Abandoned Christmas Trees) about existential angst which ticks off the Christmas boxes. “Chainsaw” is a folk charmer about failures. “Tinsel” bemoans our futility with experimental rock. Now go take drugs.
When the lyrics talk about losing all friends, i think i know the category for the song, but Vengaboys are so party-strange with Uncle John dying and reggae-disco beats… i give up. “Where did My Christmas Tree Go?” is for you to figure out.
Short and sweet Laura Watling’s “Christmas Trees in July” pop tinkles across the dance floor.
Jumping Through Fiery Hoops also coopts our topic oddly. “Working on a Christmas Tree Farm” is psychedelia with a folk bent and flashfast imagery to corrupt your status quo. Whoa.
I’ve listened to “Christmas Tree” by Bewitched Hands on Top of Our Heads several times and i know it’s about something, but i don’t care. Chorale rock. Art qua art, dudes.
Now that we’ve had our fill, how do we go about defoliating the Christmas scene?
Sandy n Steve don’t see eye to eye on the majestic pine in their house. Sandy says yea! Steve says “I’m Taking Down the Christmas Tree Now!” Show tune without much exclamation point.
Simply knock it over? Drew Carey’s ‘Whose Line is It Anyway?’ take the Irish Drinking song bit to the “Knocked Over the Christmas Tree” arena. Improv… it’s funny ‘cuz… elephant pants!
It could be an untimely accident, too. “Santa Knocked over the Christmas Tree” is that wordy Roger Miller country that we need more of from David Norris. Presents and a show!
“Tipping over the Christmas Tree” is the jazz swing we need to capture our mood: drunkenness and ennui. Big ups to Beatnik Turtle for the perfect sound for AFTER the season.
Small arms play a part in the un-decorating of John Flynn’s Christmas tree from the “Christmas Balls.” Growling folk that rocks.
Drinking and Christmas trees also spell doom for “Christmas Balls” according to Holy Moly. Punk ‘billy.
Give the kids a turn! Tommy Mulaney’s kids keep “Breaking Christmas Balls.” Oh, wait, this jazzy pop blues is about what a pain those needy offspring are… Ballbreakers!
Assemble the conga line! Carter Conlin and some church kids investigate “Who Put Their Finger Through the Ornament?” with Cuban orchestrated kidsong. (Fret not, Jesus saves the day.)
Farting all the ornaments off is the job of Stinky Ninja against “Three Stinky Christmas Trees.” This cockney toddler nails the kidsong without self indulgent whimsey.
Hey, that gas is flammable. “Burn Down the Christmas Tree” is a pyro’s prize for the holidays. Slick country fun from Abbie Gardner. And she means it.
Even more fun is the polka rock from Piedmont Songbag “Burning the Christmas Tree.” It’s like druidic partying married to Christian solemnity. Hey!
Hey this is easy when the “Christmas Tree’s on Fire.” Holly Golightly uses experimental folk to bring down the house.
Tom Heinl celebrates while trying to put out “The Christmas Tree on Fire” (with a tube sock). Comedy country with one of those tiny toy pianos–segue to church organ & sirens. Good song.
The Lickity-Splits mean love when they screech “You Set My Christmas Tree on Fire.” Raging garage classic rock.
Cledus T. Judd cashes in on his parody “Tree’s on Fire.” It’s no ‘Ring of Fire,’ it’s funnier.
Cowboy saga music accompanies the legend of Chaston and Groditski’s “We Burned the Christmas Tree.” It’s like a family tradition on acid.
An original, but disturbing method of de-treeing the house comes by way of calliope music from Nicci & The Project. “Santa was Eating the Christmas Tree” turns out to be a dream after all. (Still need therapy.)
How do Christmas trees leave? One children’s song imagines the “Christmas Tree Tango” as an exiting number. Pretty, and pretty messed up.
So now IT’S GONE! Little Willie John and the Three Lads and a Lass bemoan the empty spot from 1953 with “Mommy, What Happened to Our Christmas Tree?” (It was the commies, Will.)
Well, it’s the afterwards you’ve been dreading. Fight for that tree, or someone will cart its carcas to the curb.
The Nutty Squirrels want to fight to convince you “Please Don’t Take Our Tree for Christmas.” But this jazz band 1960 stinker wants the tree to stay in the forest, with the nuts. Pee-yew.
The best way to keep Christmas in our hearts all year is “Don’t Take That Christmas Tree Just Yet.” Three Chord Monkey perk up their garage with a little country, and a lotta spirit.
Merry Christmas, little baby “Don’t Touch the Christmas Tree” ‘billys A Band in Seattle. Dendricide by infant is a problem up there i understand.
BLUE ALERT Earn Your Stories angrily defends the “Christmas Trees” with a punk-centered need to believe in something. Wait, that’s not punk–unless you’re really pissed about it.
Less seriously, Piedmont Songbag wants the night to go on forever. “Don’t Take the Stockings from the Tree” is lounge jazz of the awkwardly seductive sort. Baby, look out, he’s jealous!
It’s Christmas day in my house “‘Til My Christmas Tree Come Down” ululates Mighty Magical Pants. Kids jug band with just the right sappy enthusiasm. That dead brown thing is still up!
Now that we’re done with the Christmas tree, let’s get a pet. That’ll do it.
“There’s a Kitty Under the Christmas Tree” proclaims Tom Grant with some masterful jazz classical piano. Despite the fuzzy craziness, little threat to the tree exists at this time.
The sense of doom is clear from the commencement of the electric kid rock of “Walter and the Christmas Tree.” But this time the damage is personal. Three bandaids.
Muskrat adds funny sfx to “The Cat Knocked Over the Christmas Tree” to punch up the oompah comedy. Doesn’t help the song, but the tree is done. So’s the TV.
Myke Ko rocks down like the cat knocks down. “Cat in the Christmas Tree” worries about not getting presents in the debris. What will Santa say?
Since dogs are more loyal, you can rely on them. Or at least you can trust in Rover Dangerfeld in his animated musical bragging “I’ll Never Do It on a Christmas Tree.” Softshoe musical fun.
Well dog my cats, Lion and Frog (feat. Mike Brookshire) ‘billy the pets about to “Untrim the Christmas Tree.” The tension is palpable. I give the tree a 50/50 chance on standing.
Leah White & the Magic Mirrors goes cats and dogs and beyond (lemurs, skunks) with some kidsong disco jazz in “Crazy Animals in My Christmas Tree.” That tree’s not going to last.
Cherry, the Resurrection Rabbit continues the Christian twisting of all things in “Bunnies Hoppin’ Around the Tree.” Kidsong featuring a painfully shrill falsetto.
Ranger T is wondering where the tree is. Turns out “T Rex Ate the Christmas Tree.” Here i thought it was a carnivore. Hey, maybe it was full of cats! Kidsong folk with humor.
Major Lazer reggae as well to tell ya how “Christmas Trees” are like marry-wanna.
MJX borrows ‘Carol of the Bells’ to rap down the need for weed with “Christmas Tree.” One note.
White guy Guggy and friends (Jr Blessington, Milton Blake & Nate Jones sing light it up when reggae rapping about their “Christmas Tree.” Winkety wink.
Lil Poverty Angels dabble with the rabble in their “Trap House Christmas Tree.” It’s light and fun, then lit and funky. Hip hop.
Strung out and stumbling through the rhymes Bloody Rain’s smokin’ up the “Christmas Trees.” BLUE ALERT
Not inappropriate enough. Rucka Rucka Ali is all about the poor taste with his ‘Tannenbaum’ parody “Smoke Christmas Tree.” It’s all out there. BLUE ALERT
Mumbling through some folky bluegrass the guitar plus me nasally drones out “Aluminum Xmas Trees” because that’s the problem and the solution… i guess.
