Take a Card: big band

Let’s roll this old concept thru the decades of musical evolution and see how much steam we can build up.

(To be fair, musical categories become updated, revisited, retroed and otherwise played again in later decades. A most recent ‘big band’ tune–full of folk, country and jazz–hails from Andrea Carlson. Her “Christmas Card” is all the lounge diva with all the orchestration necessary to fill a homefront ballroom. Worth the tangent.)

Let’s play it orchestral way back in 1954 with Petula Clark and “Christmas Cards.” She’s only 15 at this point so her cutesy singsong chirping against the big band backdrop is cause for comfort and joy amongst almost all Americans.

(Alma Cogan does this with more adult assuredness the same year. Who needs it?)

Take a Card: listed

Did i mention how important the Christmas card list was? Who’s on it, who innit, it’s a horserace of favorites and disappointments.

Peter Ward sloshily rides the rote “Christmas Card List” with yelling folk and boinging sound effects. And a laff track. Roll with it.

Dick Dedrick does that weird country music thing where he lectures out his song “Cards that Count/My Kind of Christmas.” It starts with the importance of who’s on the list. Then… well, take notes, aliens, if you want to recreate this fantasy no one ever lived through.

Narrowing down that list to that one special name, the person you only have “A Christmas Card Relationship” with reveals an important purpose of the list: casual regret. The last vestige of contact you have with someone who may have once been instrumental in your life is that address and name–still current? Chris Davidson flies this flag with alt pop sincerity and tugs some heartstring. Thanks, man, now’m sad.

Take a Card: letter perfect

Not quite deceased around the holidays is the dreaded copied family letter ‘catching you up’ on all the news, but more often bragging and shaming without pretense.

Previously posted (AS MY FAVORITE XMAS NOVELTY SONG) is Jonathan Coulton’s “Chiron Beta Prime,” a science fiction take on the merry missive. Didn’t see that coming.

Disturbingly emotional, “Christmas Card” by Terry Kitchen gently folk-jazzes the story of reading that family letter and remembering what he used to have with you when it was too early and he wasn’t ready. No! You‘re crying!

Let’s get laffey making fun with Ray Stevens and “Xerox Christmas Letter.” The humor involves white trash frontin’. They got nothing, see, and they want you to know it. Go ahead, howl at their misfortunes!

College Humor updates with open admissions of sociopathy and perversion in The “Honest Holiday Card Song.” Laugh at them. Do it, they’re fictional.

Take a Card: oh boo hoo

Got your cards bought yet? Dealing out a deck of commercially printed hastily signed holiday observations to select family and friends has gone outta style what with the electronic age. The old insult ‘snail mail’ to indicate paper posting is so past it as to seem quaint. But there was a time, kiddos and kiddettes, when the measure of social value was how many cards you sent and how many you stacked on your mantel. Why, it was a form of decoration in and of itself. Being ‘cut from the list’ just about began feuds and vendettas to last generations.

[Confusingly, many ‘Christmas Card’ songs are themselves the sentiment that you would see transcribed in the card. Those are way too schmaltzy for this irony man. Only songs that mention, describe or feature cards may be permitted herein.]

Let us not fret about the wheres and whys of this passé pose, but instead celebrate the choosing, signing, and stamping in song.

No more fitting tribute than the creaky old reminiscence “An Old Christmas Card,” about that folded fragment of your love found on the floor–from before you left! Ray Smith first (1949) got cornpone cowboy about it. Jim Reeves most famously sealed the sadness.  But let’s get even more emotional–Severe gushes punk all over. Now that’s a cover.

Sing a Song of Singing Songs: again?!

Mopping up the repetition, we reach the bottom of the barrel–dense, rich muck. These songs all bear a re-listen. (It’s what you do with Christmas music.)

Erin Oeschel parodies Lourdes with “Carols.” Snarky kid hates it all.

Youth groups of the three Amish-Mennonite sister churches in the Huchinson, KS area, Center, Cedar Crest, and Arlington gether in the form of four young men who parody ‘O Christmas Tree’ with “Oh Christmas Tree Parody.” It’s apostrophe, but funny, ‘cuz they’re SINGING to a TREE.

98.7 KLUV’s Jody Dean Singers knock me out with “Play that Christmas Music White Boy.” Parody supreme.

Sing a Song of Singing Songs: now?!

Yeah there are a few more categorical cross-overs we might revisit here…

Many point out how early is too early (like a pig’s tail) for Christmas song playing.

Enna Chow needs a mic for Christmas. Strain for her “It’s Too Early for Christmas Carols.” No, don’t bother. Still November isn’t TOO early.

Try Hard Ninja gets funnier with a Bieber parody “Too Early for Christmas Songs.” Before Halloween might be a bit soon.

Paul and Storm bring it home with “The Way-Too-Early Christmas Song.” An actual song via musical talent always helps the satire, guys! Make bail soon.

Sing a Song of Singing Songs: be cool

Let’s take a moment and find something not so wacky or weird. Are there songs about songs that be cool?

NiknJaps does exactly what i wanted: a pop experiment about the process of writing down the Xmas Sound. “My Christmas Song” comes in short, but sweet. Cool dat.

Finn McGinn & the Muddguards narrate the whole stage show (like in ‘Piano Man’) in unironic country (like that’s possible).”So Let’s Sing” celebrates best it can, given what’s given. So, that’s cool.

Glenn Trujillo and Rich Wenzel go deep into their alt-folk past for “This Christmas (Sing for Christmas).” It’s spiritually cool.

Kurt Elling settles your hash with piping hot jazz. “Sing a Christmas Carol” tootles around the canon, but rousts yon spirits brightly. Tell me that’s not cool.

Sing a Song of Singing Songs: for you

I’ve previously covered songs as gifts (you cheap bastard!) Now let’s cover gifts that are songs.

Reprise: Fairmont’s “This Song is Your Christmas Gift” rocks humility (It’s better than nothing!).

Reprise: Bill Craft et al’s “A Gift of Song” also plays it cool with bluegrass (This gift has no value!).

Reprise: Nugu Buyeng gets BLUE ALERT nasty to admit he has “No Christmas Present for You“–except this little old song he’s written.  Way to go, ya rapping Buddhist.

The Disney Channel’s Good Luck Charlie had a song about the singing: “Sing My Song for You.” As a TV number it’s short, but herein is the same number by characters Teddy & Spencer (played by Bridgit Mendler & Shane Harper), then by Sonny & Joe (Demi Lovato and Joe Jonas). It’s like a mirror looking into a mirror!

Let’s spell it out: can’t afford you! Michael Peace pieces together a clumsy excuse (including the children) with “We Wrote You this Song for Christmas.” He hopes it’s the bestest of all. (Spoiler alert: a stolen bracelet woulda been better.)

Sing a Song of Singing Songs: others

Who else gets a song dedicated for the holidays?

Well, i can’t pass up another Todd McHatton: “A Christmas Song for Harry Nilsson.” This must be the third time i’ve foisted it on you.

Bored housewives from Portland, The Fallen Angel Choir went political with “Sing a Song for Benjamin Linder” a victim on Nicaraguan Contras (and others). Whew.

A LOT lighter, Carolyn Mark offers a “Song for the Girl with Two of Everything.” For children of divorce get too much, don’t they?

 

Sing a Song of Singing Songs: the Bigger Guy

I know! We should sing to the birthday boy!

“Let’s Sing Praises to the King” sing The Sensational Nightingales. Pretty stuff.

The McKameys “Sing a Song About the Lamb” cleverly following the old sacrificial lamb to the old gods to the new lamb who is a Son of a God. Plodding ‘grass gospel.

Let’s get even more old Sunday school with a fine old album: American Folk Songs for Christmas, brought to you by Mike Seeger.

Included are tributes to The Jay-by “Sing Hallelujah” by Calum MacColl

and “Sing a Lamb” by Mike Seeger hisself.