Don We Now: accessories to the frost

What else can we deck you out with?

Conventionally, we bejewel to formalize the outfit. So we’ll allow The Christmas Pranksters to joke around with ‘Jolly old St. Nicholas’ to warn us of a “Big Fake Diamond Necklace.” It’ll turn your neck green!

But i still want you warm. If you will,follow me to the Bandcamp site to listen to “Mittens from Heaven” from tvallier. This electronic lite pop is worth the detour.

Vince Ah is provoking you with his cry to “Borrow Your Scarf.” Still, he cares for you this holiday what with his pop music and all.

Matt Swift unpluggedly rocks out the concern that you not be alone. He wishes you well and “Hats and Scarves” to keep you this Christmas.

Don We Now: warming up

The season is upon us… what to wear?! (Spoiler alert: it’s going to be mostly ugly sweaters and Santa suits.)

First off–what’s the weather outside (frightful?). Then we recommend “Winter Clothes” as kidsonged by Joanie Calem.

Tom Rambow (The Porch Owls) takes a different (folk) route with his “Winter Clothes” all about lovers’ regrets. Pretty stuff.

Back Pocket gets alt jazz with “Winter Clothes” about depression and pain.

“Winter Clothes” for Marrus is just baggage. Garage light.

Derek Fawcett eases the mood when he signs about the weather worsening calling out for “Winter Clothes.” But then his pop folk starts the blame game with some metaphor for his relationship. Crybaby.

Retro pop folk (like Simon and Garfunkle) is Grace Basement with “Warmest Winter Clothes.” See, his love will keep off the chill….

Since the mood is so poetical, let’s party out with “Winter Dress” (code for Mother Nature & snow) from Humming House. Honky tonk pop.

 

Take a Card: 21st century

Post Millennium, stamped cards have gone the way of old folks sayings. Kids today send greetings in other ways.

Pointy Bird Records homespin a family children’s song (with valiant effort over talent): “Special Christmas Email.” It cheers up the childies.

Addison Weismantel’s uncles have a bouncy country pop tea party while having an “Email Christmas.” Technologically observant.

Spottily able (or drunk?) Mike Hayes wombily warbles “Who’s Gonna Tweet Me this Christmas?” He’s sad. I am too, now.

The Modern Prosthetix go much more professional and retro rock ballad, with “Facebook Christmas.” He’s never alone, you know, a-whoa-oh-ohhh.

The Perry Brothers favor the stupid, as with their Stupidface and Retarded Policeman series on Youtube (oh, ay, one of ’em preformer’s autistic; is okee). But their “Xmas Txt” is a mediocre callout to the thumby generation. Cards are (somehow) more personal!

The excellent Jon Lajoie lets you know how much he cares when he sends you a Christmas text. “Merry Christmas Exclamation Point” is country rock pop done stone cold ironic.

Just as predictably Kristen Bell fronts Straight No Chaser with “Text Me Merry Christmas.” This was probably a gas several years ago when first sung, but it’s a smug MOR show tune now. Cute.

Take a Card: misc.

If it’s a card at Christmas, but it’s not a Christmas card… what is it?

The Effengee’s (by way of a fine John Prine sound) folk their Dylanesque “Card with No Name.” But it’s about (among other things) a gift with a blank tag. Enigmatically emblematic.

Jethro Tull’s “Birthday Card at Christmas” also dodges the traditional posting. This is the mad symphonic rock of Ian Anderson, expect multiple meanings.

John Vosel & The Partycrashers have a country swing-pop rock chimney warning for you: don’t send a “Belated Christmas Card.” This guy hates waiting by the mail box.

Take a Card: or not

The zen balance of cards you give and cards you get is zen.

So counting becomes a means of exacting justice.

Newby’s Diaries sadly, retro-pop-ly regrets. “I Don’t Expect Many Cards This Christmas” rolls out the punctured inflatable holiday yard art that won’t ever stand tall.

Or just “No Christmas Card,” the chant of children (actually Citizens of Nowhere) in electronica parang.

Watkins and the Rapiers sneak their message “Don’t Expect a Christmas Card from Me” in some serviceable polka. But, (while self righteous) remain vigilant–and hopeful!

Take a Card: addressed

Check that return address, wouldja?

Pat Boone pokes fuddy-duddy fun at the cold with his “California Christmas Card.” It’s like Parkinsons and schmaltz had a grandbaby!

Diedre Jenkins gets bluesy country in a lower register for her “Missouri Christmas Card.” This time the sentiment’s serioius (‘tho i wish she didn’t pronounce it ‘misery’).

Straw gets us out of this world with “Christmas Card from Vietnam.” Light blues mashed up with someone zipping up a coat, i think.

Take a Card: addresser

Grasping at straws we include a (fine) song from Rob Snarski what sings the inscription on the “Christmas Card from a Drunken Sailor.” I wish the (few) cards i got had so much writing in them! Dreamy alt folk.

Country gospel from Christopher Toland honoring “Mama’s Christmas Card for You.” Reverentially formulaic.

Spoken country from Merle Haggard belaboring every detail on “Grandma’s Homemade Christmas Card.” Where’s the 5$?

“A Christmas Card from Daddy” by Mike Bryant lets me know what to get Daddy in return: singing lessons! Yikes.

Also all heart and no caliber, Noel Delisle nasal-croons “Christmas Card from a Servicemember.” Quit with the jolly, get guilty feeling.

Same Sex Mary and Jack Johnson bring it home with “Christmas Card from a Gary in Las Vegas.” It’s not a straight parody of the Tom Waits ‘Hooker’ non-Xmas song, but spiritually, it’s beholden. (Eventually it gets ‘billy rager-garage BLUE ALERT [!?].)

Take a Card: parody

Funning up other songs is MY own special category.

‘O Christmas Tree’ gets a fumble with “My Christmas Cards Came Back to Me” by Carol Denney. Humor, if you need to know.

Billy Joe Duprix gets off track with his ‘Rudolph’ run “Christmas Cards.” They’re credit cards, these cards. That’s something else. Sorry.

While we’re tangential, Alan Sherman has a parody he never quite released: “Christmas ’65 (Draft Cards).” It starts as ‘The Christmas Song’, then gets to commenting on all of last year–like a family letter for the holidays, now that you mention it.