HATE Xmas.14 (mildly blue)

Much of the resentment over the whoop-de-doo made over wealth for Twelfth Night is due to the DIDN’T-GET-WHAT-I-WANT horror that shapes children into adults. Santa vanishes! Christmas collapses! Life loses its luster!

Electronic zippiness underlines the horror of not getting–you! “Christmas Sucks!” Better Promises echoes out all over the roadmap of rock.

“Chr!$Tm@$ $Ux” underlines the rock sentiment from queen Alaska Thunderfuck. Fortunately she learns her lesson, TV special style.

On the other side of the spectrum Tim Cavanagh bellyaches about all his disappointments one by one in his blusey “Worst Christmas Ever.” Keep listening. It gets worse.

Punkers Mary Magdalan get their BLUE ALERT rude-off with “Christmas Sucks.” Anger overdose explodes into head bangin’ music/kids’ specials clips.

Rocky Zharp goes full honky tonk blues with “I Hate Christmas” at least in part due to the emptiness of the stocking. This wails.

Perhaps the most surprising novelty i stumbled over was JERRY LEWIS in character complaining about the junk he opened in “I’ve Had a Very Merry Christmas.” In 1953, we call this a terribly odd little recording.

In perhaps the prettiest song of this pettiness parade, Christopher Coats folk pops “I Hate Christmas.” (Hate to give him a BLUE ALERT, it’s such gentle f-bombing.) Love this.

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Let’s narrow down some of the individual peeves what makes Christmas such an abomination. First: $$$.

The commercialism of the George Patience (??) 1986 MTV videotape music video belies the message in “I Hate Christmas.” It’s about the show! Terrible!

The freezing temperatures make poverty less and less joyous for noel-time. Cheetah Chrome dogpaddles through “Christmas Sucks” with some easy listening retro folk. Boo, capitalism.

Working class UK hiphoppery tackles this class warfare with E&D TV’s “Anti Christmas Song.” No wonder Robin Hood, innit?

Jimmy Witherspoon became a name in USO shows during WWII. His ’54 flipside to ‘Boogie Woogie Santa Claus’ is “How I Hate to See Christmas Come Around” (aka ‘Christmas Blues’). It’s calming blues, but it still wails about not having enough for the gal who deserves more.

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ADvocate! Xmas is a terrific platform from which to wave your own particular banner of beefs. Religion, politics, business, sex, crime… you’ve already got my attention with the green tree and the red suit, so soapbox me, baby, one more time.

Bunny Lido (Blue Alert) don’t like family, but really don’t like ‘consumerism,’ which comes off like vampirism in “Anti-Christmas Assault.” Class credit for beating on that folk guitar as a metaphor for the dead horse.

Rather than urban hiphop, Keith James is class conscious with R+B jazz in “This Christmas Sucks.” The protest is lite, but the poetry is powerful.

Preaching from the Children’s Television Workshop, Oscar the Grouch has already sung “I Hate Christmas” for us. Pondertone goes garage-ish with the same thing. Kids, listen up. Free yourself from the chains bells! (Beware: this song is over half way through the presentation, then ‘Stille Nacht’ haunts us with an air raid siren. Message much?)

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Okay, okay, sometimes the kvetching about Christmas is self indulgent whining. But isn’t the enjoyment of Christmas the same thing?

Les Issambres kidsongs up the punk with “Christmas Sucks Anyway, Everything’s Shit.” There may be a moral here, but who cares–da da deedee dah–dahdah.

Joss Stone hits way too many high notes with her “Anti-Christmas Carol.” It’s smooth jazz and swirls like a blizzard, but it’s message of hatred is a silly gimmick. Kidding!

John Hinton (aka Johnny Acecraft) of Spalien Acecraft gets Brit-pissy with his “Anti-Christmas Song.” It pops like a cracker. He cracks like a pauper.

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DIY your own Christmas wrath!

“Dan Zig Hates X-Mas” from Dan Lorenzo slows his metal roll for a steamroller ride over the presents. 1st gear to get our footing.

Zebrahead island-beats their “Deck the Halls (I Hate Christmas)” with punctuations of comic pop refs. ‘It’s not for everybody’ ain’t hatin’, so much as toleratin’.

Sorrowful Angels go full retro rock (so percussive!) with their “Anti Christmas.” This is a thing, gang, usually on the solstice, but hating everything our own Pro Christmas stands for. (More with Satanism, later.)

HATE Xmas.09

Take a break from the antagonism! Let’s get amusing and witty with the ideas for this one post at least.

Impertinent parody of ‘Wonderland,’ “The Anti-Christmas Song” allows Greg Orosz to mock the ridiculousnss of that time of year. Clever.

5inco Minutas (‘from Brazil but singing in English sounds so much better’) call out the crap from their viewpoint in “I Hate Christmas.” Techno pop that’s fun to follow along.

I like what Dan O’Farrell does with his The Purge version of “Anti-Christmas Day.” This pretty slow pop piece is mad that Christmas makes us bastards 364, since we’re only called to task the one day. So why not vice the versa? Ha!

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Blah blah blah hate Christmas, who cares other lyrics–big hit. Right? Or these:

Michael George Sippo is playing at singing, so his “I Hate Christmas” (Blue Alert) is an exercise in rhythm machine doggerel. What was the question?

Half a minute of metal screech makes a sorta song “I Hate Christmas” by Collision. Gets right to the pointless.

Lovely hair metal (parody?) from Whiplash gets the gang joining in on “I Hate Christmas.” Redundant sing-along fun.

Aussies Weekend Rockstars madlib out the rockabilly pop with “I Hate Christmas.” It rhymes so hard it makes you believe in its song-like qualities.

HATE Xmas.07 BLUE ALERT

Is it fun to hate of the the happiest time of year? Some of these songs pile on, without much rationalization.

Snap-Her punks the premise with “I Hate Christmas.” Why? It’s stupid, that’s why! Yah! BLUE ALERT

Catholic School Girls redundantly inundate us with redundancy in “I Hate Christmas,” a BLUE ALERT speedy screed of garage rage. Just ‘cuz.

Least intelligibly, Lerker throat shreds “I Hate Christmas” to pop metal. Yes, BLUE ALERT. Band practice as anger management.

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It’s all a trick! It’a all advertising! It’s all lies! Xmas isn’t real enough. So I’m getting mad.

Singin’ Steve allows Teddy, the cat, to go on and on in “I Hate Christmas.” After the treacly kidsong, he interrupts to pull a Linus true meaning preamble.

On the other genre, Psychostick metal screams out their “Holiday Hate” making every aspect of the season hypocritically horrid. It’s HOW they say it.

Rusty Cage made a name for himself online with his ‘Knife Game Song.’ (He’s got merch.) His “Christmas Knife Game Song” is a muckraking expose of the Christmas con. Whadya gointa do about it, punk? Infectiously bouncy showtune.

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That stupid Santa, the terrible tinsel, ludicrous lights… i could just explode! All together these are the thousands drops of water torture.

Ambivalently, Malach! Poe offkey garages “Dear Christmas (I Kind of Hate You).” Can’t commit to a feeling, or a key–the whole number is verisimilitude malaise.

Do You Hear What I Hear (feat. Joseph Cimino) salsas up the bad feelings with “I Hate the Holidays.” Because of a suggestion of singing curative, this smacks of aversion therapy.

Dr. BLT begins with general hating, but “I Hate Christmas (And Other Lies)” rosters up the fa la la loathing about the the little things around your decorated home. Is he kidding? Country fun.