ReduXmas: Chust Chanukah

My first few months of noveltychristmasmusic.com were punctuated with sidebars for other holidays: Halloween, Veterans’ Day. Thanksgiving, and the Festival of Lights. Man there’s fecund soil for cool tunes in the Hebrew observations (and wotta sense of humor)!

Few original songs about this holiday, the celebrators like their parodies of hit songs made jewtiful. As introduction, we should take The Bob and Tom Show with a grain of kosher salt for their “Goyisha Hanukkah.” Okay–funny. Or the weirder “Hanukkah Harry’s Revenge” by Shark Uppercut. Harsh rhythm, random sense.

Six13 finally get around to a Jewish ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ with “Bohemian Chanukah.” Bonus points for the Hebrew subtitles. But the a cappella acting out the instruments they vocalize deducts these points. And it’s full length. (Not necessarily a good thing when it’s so serious.)

The kids from the Shul at Bal Harbor parody ‘Gangnam’ with “Chanukah Style.” It’s also all out.

Vocally unrepressed Mor Efrat Bitton takes on Sia’s ‘Chandelier’ with her “Hanukkah.” Help me here: are Dunkin’ Donuts goy? Are they the bad thing?

Out of the Wayback Machine Ray Brenner and Barry Blitzer laffitup 1967 style with the minority concerns of Hanukkah during The Holidays with “The Problem” (a minute and a half of funny ‘Jingle’ parody with some news commentary shtick).

Jinkx Monsoon & Sherry Vine get parody traditional with “Hanukkah, O Hanukkah” a fabulous redo that queers the deal.

Let’s get our money’s worth with Smooth E (he’s back!) with “8 Hanukkah Parody Songs in Four Minutes“! (‘Burn Down the Wax’/Turn Down For What – DJ Snake and Lil Jon; ‘Menchy’/Fancy – Iggy Azalea feat. Charlie XCX; ‘One More Latke Without You’/Problem – Ariana Grande; ‘Gimmel’/Timber – Kesha and Pitbull; ‘Grandma Wanda’/Anaconda – Nicki Minaj; ‘(C)HAN(N)UK(K)A(H)’/Shake It Off – Taylor Swift; ‘Jappy’/Happy – Pharrell; ‘All About That Eight’/All About That Bass – Meghan Trainor) A bit low key without the usual studio quality, AND it’s FIVE minutes long. But the boy’s got it.

The parody of all parodies (today) will dare to mock Adam Sandler with “The Shiksa Song.” Yuval (kindofa Kosher Borat) enumerates the joys of goyas (sortof naughty, but really a nice boy). Check this out.

ReduXmas: ‘Merica-Mas

I scroll, i search, i sneak a peep most days for cool Christmas songs you may not have seen. For some reason, i thematize these into clumps. Each month (or so) features a concept and, since Christmas songs are about EVERYTHING, i include a hundred or so songs about Xmas about some special theme for you to peruse.

While i search for songs about Christmas bugs, i find songs about Christmas marijuana. When i narrow down to songs about Christmas pot, there’s another song about Christmas murder. But i already did that!

I’ve been known to re-edit past posts to add something phenomenal. The 28 June ’16 Manger Management post got an Axis of Awesome song added “I Love Being a Cow” a year and a half later–3 December ’17. What can I say, it was Awesome.

So i thought, why not just set aside a month every 2 1/2 years to add new songs for old ideas! Here we go…

Starting October of 2016 i posted 380 songs featuring the holiday season in the USA, state-by-state, territory-by-territory (about 80 concerning California). (Perhaps better entitled ‘MeriCa-mas.) Since then a couple more state-bound noels crept outta the composite.

5 Chinese Brothers slowly drawl out the bluesy “Christmas in Manhattan.” Childish wide-eyed glee with a jazzy back beat.

Back to the upbeat, “Christmas in Miami” is a snazzy party of high speed pop from Marc Sardou. Dancing shoes on!

Bluesy, nay drunken rock from James Slater delineates “All I Want from Santa is a Girl from Atlanta.” This is NOT woke, gang.

Reflective folk from John Styles tasks “Christmas in California” as a no-way vacay of soft play (hey hey). More like California in California.

Misty eyed for home? Even the south? Our social working pal, Dr. BLT tells it like it could be with country funkin’ “Christmas in South Carolina.” His downhome country “It Never Snows on the Streets of Bakersfield” fills in the gaps of his logic.

Detroit Christmas Blues” is some odd bluegrass from Tim Pak. Don’t take my word for it… click that link!

Actual blues from Shelley King introduces you to “Christmas in Austin.” Fun.

Now that you’re weirding out, Shadow Disorder percussively alts out “Christmas in Michigan” as a stalkery love song of wintry expectations. Brr. My Christmas song list just shrank.

Pulling Christmas Crackers (BLUE ALERT)

Are all your presents hiding in the closet?! Get ’em out! Unwrap ’em! Insert ’em in your neighbor!

We won’t but celebrate gay sex for Xmas, but keep in mind that the damaging old-fashioned homophobic stereotype here is the crazed, overagressive predator. He’ll nail anything, anywhere.

Because gay pride has earned more acceptance so gradually over the past couple decades, some of these naughty bits arrive in the form of complete albums (hidden and exchanged behind closed doors so long ago). We’ll sample:

Yaoi Xmas Songs is boy-love, but often from girls’ fan fiction shipping on their favorite anime characters. From this collection, “Big Dong” parodizes an often overlooked ‘Ding Dong’ song that deserves what it gets.

The Go-Go Boys won’t be a household name (depending on your household) but they serve up some well-done musical parodies on their album Gay Apparel. I choose “We Three Boys,” not for subtlety, but for composure.

Unit 81 Productions also sings masterfully in no way undercutting the raunchiness of “Merry XXXmas.” Rock pop. Very fast.

Riding Reindeer (BLUE ALERT)

The holiday intercourse may be announced as fact. Surrender to the male imperative.

Poetically, Greg & Brian mix metaphors in the inuendo laden “Yule Log.” It’s down and dirty, but with a medieval dancing beat.

FunnyMike freestyles his “Merry Christmas” about what he’s going to do to specific body parts on you. There’s a rhythm method.

Will Nunziata (feat. Amy Fitts) embodies the Disney princess (cable sitcom verzh) who must have the sex in “Jingle Jingle: A Dirty Christmas Song.” Santa raps countrapoint to her pop lollying.

Reggie Watts levels with all y’all that “Christmas is for Fucking.” Sensual R+B rap. Get it on.

Finding Room at the Inn (BLUE ALERT)

It’s showtime! Bumping uglies! Making the beast of two backs! Sex!! Did i mean specifically Christmas sex!? In song?

Shall we proposition?

Habitual Sex Offenders do it wrong with “Please Douche Before Christmas.” Great rock chords, but 12 days of feminine hygiene products? No.

Vybz Kartel Radio plays some powerful Carrib parang-rap. I’m all in the mood from “Christmas Fck.” It’s persuasive.

Jack Douglass plays the fool for his jacksfilms but he’s a shrewd comic song and parody man. Check out his boy band tribute “Christmas Sex.” Say yes, girl.