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ADvocate! Xmas is a terrific platform from which to wave your own particular banner of beefs. Religion, politics, business, sex, crime… you’ve already got my attention with the green tree and the red suit, so soapbox me, baby, one more time.

Bunny Lido (Blue Alert) don’t like family, but really don’t like ‘consumerism,’ which comes off like vampirism in “Anti-Christmas Assault.” Class credit for beating on that folk guitar as a metaphor for the dead horse.

Rather than urban hiphop, Keith James is class conscious with R+B jazz in “This Christmas Sucks.” The protest is lite, but the poetry is powerful.

Preaching from the Children’s Television Workshop, Oscar the Grouch has already sung “I Hate Christmas” for us. Pondertone goes garage-ish with the same thing. Kids, listen up. Free yourself from the chains bells! (Beware: this song is over half way through the presentation, then ‘Stille Nacht’ haunts us with an air raid siren. Message much?)

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Okay, okay, sometimes the kvetching about Christmas is self indulgent whining. But isn’t the enjoyment of Christmas the same thing?

Les Issambres kidsongs up the punk with “Christmas Sucks Anyway, Everything’s Shit.” There may be a moral here, but who cares–da da deedee dah–dahdah.

Joss Stone hits way too many high notes with her “Anti-Christmas Carol.” It’s smooth jazz and swirls like a blizzard, but it’s message of hatred is a silly gimmick. Kidding!

John Hinton (aka Johnny Acecraft) of Spalien Acecraft gets Brit-pissy with his “Anti-Christmas Song.” It pops like a cracker. He cracks like a pauper.

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DIY your own Christmas wrath!

“Dan Zig Hates X-Mas” from Dan Lorenzo slows his metal roll for a steamroller ride over the presents. 1st gear to get our footing.

Zebrahead island-beats their “Deck the Halls (I Hate Christmas)” with punctuations of comic pop refs. ‘It’s not for everybody’ ain’t hatin’, so much as toleratin’.

Sorrowful Angels go full retro rock (so percussive!) with their “Anti Christmas.” This is a thing, gang, usually on the solstice, but hating everything our own Pro Christmas stands for. (More with Satanism, later.)

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Take a break from the antagonism! Let’s get amusing and witty with the ideas for this one post at least.

Impertinent parody of ‘Wonderland,’ “The Anti-Christmas Song” allows Greg Orosz to mock the ridiculousnss of that time of year. Clever.

5inco Minutas (‘from Brazil but singing in English sounds so much better’) call out the crap from their viewpoint in “I Hate Christmas.” Techno pop that’s fun to follow along.

I like what Dan O’Farrell does with his The Purge version of “Anti-Christmas Day.” This pretty slow pop piece is mad that Christmas makes us bastards 364, since we’re only called to task the one day. So why not vice the versa? Ha!

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Blah blah blah hate Christmas, who cares other lyrics–big hit. Right? Or these:

Michael George Sippo is playing at singing, so his “I Hate Christmas” (Blue Alert) is an exercise in rhythm machine doggerel. What was the question?

Half a minute of metal screech makes a sorta song “I Hate Christmas” by Collision. Gets right to the pointless.

Lovely hair metal (parody?) from Whiplash gets the gang joining in on “I Hate Christmas.” Redundant sing-along fun.

Aussies Weekend Rockstars madlib out the rockabilly pop with “I Hate Christmas.” It rhymes so hard it makes you believe in its song-like qualities.

HATE Xmas.07 BLUE ALERT

Is it fun to hate of the the happiest time of year? Some of these songs pile on, without much rationalization.

Snap-Her punks the premise with “I Hate Christmas.” Why? It’s stupid, that’s why! Yah! BLUE ALERT

Catholic School Girls redundantly inundate us with redundancy in “I Hate Christmas,” a BLUE ALERT speedy screed of garage rage. Just ‘cuz.

Least intelligibly, Lerker throat shreds “I Hate Christmas” to pop metal. Yes, BLUE ALERT. Band practice as anger management.

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It’s all a trick! It’a all advertising! It’s all lies! Xmas isn’t real enough. So I’m getting mad.

Singin’ Steve allows Teddy, the cat, to go on and on in “I Hate Christmas.” After the treacly kidsong, he interrupts to pull a Linus true meaning preamble.

On the other genre, Psychostick metal screams out their “Holiday Hate” making every aspect of the season hypocritically horrid. It’s HOW they say it.

Rusty Cage made a name for himself online with his ‘Knife Game Song.’ (He’s got merch.) His “Christmas Knife Game Song” is a muckraking expose of the Christmas con. Whadya gointa do about it, punk? Infectiously bouncy showtune.

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That stupid Santa, the terrible tinsel, ludicrous lights… i could just explode! All together these are the thousands drops of water torture.

Ambivalently, Malach! Poe offkey garages “Dear Christmas (I Kind of Hate You).” Can’t commit to a feeling, or a key–the whole number is verisimilitude malaise.

Do You Hear What I Hear (feat. Joseph Cimino) salsas up the bad feelings with “I Hate the Holidays.” Because of a suggestion of singing curative, this smacks of aversion therapy.

Dr. BLT begins with general hating, but “I Hate Christmas (And Other Lies)” rosters up the fa la la loathing about the the little things around your decorated home. Is he kidding? Country fun.

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Many are the causes of stress from mid-December on, but woe be unto those who simply hate the festoonery of Christmas for hate’s sake. (Millennials!)

NewJerseyite punkfolk band Where’s My Spaceship leans in on the bogus family time with “Everybody Hates Christmas.” But BLUE ALERT the real message is how horrible the inconvenience of special time cuts into not doing anything in particular.

A bit too blasé to hate, Zoe Sky Jordan phones in “I Hate Christmas” with a melodic folk pop list of peevish complaints: headache, interested friends, lack of life’s goals. Hoo boy.

Groovy piano lounge from Billy West as Ren & Stimpy tricks out “I Hate Christmas.” Kids, friends, family, singing, treats–gag me with a cliche! Have mare-cee!

Johnny Setlist noodles around the piano to stream out his consciousness about how big a let down he has it “Befallen This Christmas.” Yeah, maybe for everyone else. For me–is that all there is?

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Let’s remember this is all ironic: Christmas is made for joy and forgiveness and party puking–no regrets!

So, in the spirit of opposite day, time for the exaggerated cartoony fun.

Some don’t like the Adam Sandler cartoon ‘Eight Crazy Nights’ but i’m a fan. “Davey’s Song” is about the tragic orphan hating on the night he lost his family. Hilarious show tune.

Also movie derived, House of Breaking Glass’s “A Very Grumpy Christmas” from ‘Grumpy Cat’s Christmas’ adds a little ragtime to a miserable time. You’re welcome.

Casey Shea recounts another tough time around the holidays in “Worst Christmas Ever.” Keep an eye open for hopin’ near the end….