Novelty Christmas Music

And a Party in a Pear Tree: you, yes you

Didn’t get the invitation? Well, i’m axing you to Come. On. Over. Xmas Party!

Ultimate Duo hits it with jazz syncopated rap in their “Christmas Party (1505).” It’s short and gets right to the dance moves. You in?

The Dead Milkmen are sweetly earnest with their “Christmas Party” invitation. Rollicking unplugged rock. ‘Cuz it’ll be fun.

‘Come on over’ Elvis-impersonates Kerr Donnelly Band with “Christmas Party.” Grab your baby, excuse me, did you forget? I said grab her.

And a Party in a Pear Tree: desperate

Some parties stink of uncoolness.

The Withers score with more up-to-the-minute pop parodies in their “Christmas Party.” BLUE ALERT it threatens your attendance.

Yet the promises of ‘jello, red angry jello’ make us consider it–even if we’re the only ones to show up. Please follow the bouncing Santa into Koo Koo Kang Roo’s “Please Come to My Christmas Party” to see for yourself. It’s synthed retro pop, so dress accordingly (elf suit!).

And a Party in a Pear Tree: left out

Who’s coming to your Xmas shindig? Probably not Frankenstein.

But first, a word on who you really shouldn’t invite. Dom Powell warns you that “Satan is coming to the Christmas Party.” In appropriate light metal, the metaphor rings the bell on bad actors who don’t dig what you’re trying unironically to celebrate.

A Peter Pan Players holiday album Monster Christmas Mash (1974??) follows the Universal Classic Monsters (post Bobby Pickett mashing) as they attempt to integrate into Christianity–but learn their wanting to was all the goodness they ever needed. Or something. The album is bedeviled with silly story, but contains a kids’/Dixieland show stopper from the man-of-many-parts Frankenstein: “Nobody Ever Asked Me to a Christmas Party.” Who would Jesus host?

And a Party in a Pear Tree: invitations

First thing, make sure everyone knows to come to YOUR Christmas party so they don’t do something stupid like accept invitations to some work thing or whatever–ugh.

The My Little Pony contribution “Come and Join the Christmas Party” rises to no higher than a preschool Disney Channel attempt, but IMShadow007 gives it all in a bouncy fit of froth.

A Valerie Collison children’s number for church assemblies leans on the baby King for the party’s raison d’être. “Come and Join the Celebration” seems nicely inclusive and honestly Christian. Color me charmed. And white.

WBCN talked The J Geils Band into recording “Come Onto the Christmas Party,” a country rockpop burner which was never released. Originally it was chipmunk style.

And a Party in a Pear Tree: countdown

Apart from family (and Jesus), the big deal on the Christmas calendar is the get-together, the todo, the bash, the celebration for all the peoples you’re supposed to remember the names of. And for excessive drinking. And introducing everyone to your id. Oops.

XTC has a pop party intro “Countdown to Christmas Party Time,” here offered in full length demo-mode. Invitations, instructions, intentions… they’re all here.

WAR! what it’s good for

In a more innocent time, we sang Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays in the same song. No one thought a thing about it. Let’s do that, hand in hand, you rascals.

Robert Earl Keen accentuates the absurdity of the trailer trash with trombone in the plodding “Happy Holidays Y’all.” This cut includes two takes (second on has slurring and cracking up). Oompah country.

N’Sync gets the corn roasting with “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays.” This unfiltered fluff should have opposite sides settling out of court in a hurry. Perhaps Pentatonix is more your cup of Sanka. Pretend Motown for the preteen set.

Adam Hicks feat. Ryan Newman from the Disney show Zeke and Luther zoop up “Happy Universal Holidays” for one for all. ADHD pop.

Let’s settle the bill with invision haling us with “Happy Holidays,” a greeting for one and all. Or, an egregious alt assault on our sensibilities.

War: the final solution

The last word on The War on Christmas debate comes from Unsinn Quatsch. Don’t be too happy about anything and you won’t offend anyone (not even mimes nor alpacas). So don’t say Merry Christmas. Don’t say Happy Holidays. Instead restrict yourself to the cry “Apathetic Cryptic Epoch”! This helium-voiced pop jingler hits all the right notes by hitting all the wrong ones. (Although there is a cop-out ending.) Thanks, Jason Pitsch!