The Rude Off: immodest

A 1939 Montgomery Wards holiday booklet retold the ugly duckling story one more time, with a weird-o ousted hoofer having the one mutation to save the day. Whether handicapped, non-white, non-binary children took ‘Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer’ to heart way back then–the songs and shows co-opted this outlier concept so all mainstreamers can see themselves as special. Hooray.

If you began listening to every cover of the Johnny Marks song (over 420 on Secondhandsongs.com–so i figure over a thousand, easy) you might be done by Christmas. So, don’t do that. And IDONOTCARE if it was sung better by Burl or Gene or Ella or Dean….

However, some songs reference Rudy in novel ways–including several we’ve sampled on the blog before.

One of my favorite parodies is Jars of Clay’s Nirvana’s “Smells Like Rudolph.” Swell smell!

Also prized parody, “Here Comes Rudolph” is The ’60s Invasion’s Rolling Stones’ take on the 1967 stop-motion special.

NOT a parody of The Crystals nor Chuck Berry, “Da Doo Run Run Rudolph” is a gentle folk rock froth from The Not Fur Longs. Love song stickiness. (Title’s just a hook, no actual Rudolph here, for those who care.)

Line Up-finishers

Some songs simply sneak in the roll call of reindeer. Listen carefully.

The Simians’ “A Perfect Christmas” is that list of ingredients that fill the bill. Alt-rock sneaks in the rostrum at the end.

“Santa Country” is old beach rock, so the actual country features Santa Barbara, or Santa Monica, Santa Cruz, or Sante Fe–get it? Reindeer creep in at the finale thanks to Bad Tide.

Flaterectomy gets desperate with his Song-of-the-Week challenge in Week 51’s “Ho Ho Ho,” in which Santa robs with a BLUE ALERT bitter vocabulary. The reindeer are named as accomplices in this metal/show tune mashup.

“I Got Yule Babe” from the inimitable Joel Kopischke waits for the outro to enumerate the sleigh pullers… and some bonus crew!

Line Up-starters

All the reindeer get named in some songs.

Autry, Gene Autry returns with Will It be A Hit? “Thirty-Two Feet and Eight Little Tails of White.” Kidsong before his Rudolph deal. (But THIS song comes out two years after.)

Where’s Rudolph? is the R+B question of “Reindeer’s Christmas Song.” The Stocking Fillers wail on it seriously.

“Now Dasher Now Dancer” is a musical interlude in the Mickey Rooney elder-recital of ‘Night Before.” Bouncey kidsong.

More kidsong from Candy Cane Lane: “Eight Reindeer” is bebopping lite rock about the names.

Starting the refrain, the reindeer list fills in Chris Commisso’s need for lines in the hyperactive pop number “The Christmas (All I Really, Really Want).”

The Sandpipers give each a voice in “Santa’s Other Reindeer (We are the Reindeer Who Work for Santa Claus).” This kidsong personalizes all but the ninth with mucho gusto.

“Dash Away All” is the hyper showtune from Sounds Of Blackness’s ‘The Night Before Christmas – A Musical Fantasy.’ Tempo to race ’round the world (never mind the going on strike twist).

Name Eight, finally

Let’s finish up the ending all ready!

Plank Road Publishing finally returns to the blog with the swinging “Blitzen’s Boogie.” Kids know this one.

To balance the sweet, Santa’s Angry Elves get gargley metal with “Blitzen’s Got the Shitzens.” Cue the laughing bikers.

The last reindeer gets a fine comedy treatment in “Blitzen Jones the Mighty Reindeer” by Philly Cuzz. This tinderbox of music box and TV specials flies when i sense ’60s Motown ballideering parody. Delicious.

Name Eight, again

Then there’s the weird. Name hopping off Blitzen’s ‘fame,’ some songs go for last-runner moodiness.

McBillz (feat. Black Ryan) BLUE ALERT the rap for “Blitzen.” Anger, drugs, violence, maybe cars. I dunno.

ericslake synths the hell out of “Blitzen.” You tell me what it’s all about.

Name Seven, etc., too

I guess it’s an underdog thing, to include the final two of Santa’s reindeer as a team. I thought it was every stag for itself.

But here’s a metal thrashing saga about “Donner and Blitzen” from Rob Halford that might shine a new light on those minxes. Feel free to compare that to Thor‘s rockabilly influenced metal cover.