The past warn’t always golden years, kiddos. Bishops Green rock out a polemic about “Christmas in New York” way back then. Not pretty. Cool tune, though.
Christmas Countdown: 1835
Carach Angren take us way back to when Colonel Loftus was haunted by a Christmas mother in the symphonic/metal “After Death Premises.” This must belong to the category of scary ghost stories we hear about in the song ‘It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.’
Christmas Countdown: 1842
Loreena McKennitt has taken the concept off “Dickens’ Dublin (The Palace)” as crafted us a new-age Celtic warbler about a poor waif freezing to death on the streets in 1842. Strangley, the homeless one narrates between verses with a rambling steam-of-consciousness. It’s all unsettling, haunting, moving.
Christmas Countdown: 1843
Calle Bini has a convivial rap style combining science, anthropology, history and Christmas in “One Degree.” I guess it means we’re not all that separated from each other, but Chas Dickens gets a shout-out for penning his ‘Carol’ in 1843 and popularizing religious observation as being about family.
Christmas Countdown: 1861
‘A Mighty Wind’ was another of those Christopher Guest mockumentaries that squandered talented actors on loser characters. The folk singing duo Mitch and Mickey (Eugene Levy and Catherine O’Hara) include their Civil War Romeo and Juliet tale “The Ballad of Bobby and June.” Their stars are crossed by the draft, though the poor Reb makes it home for Xmas with a hole in his chest. Gratuitous holidayism, but we’ll allow it. [Included is a church-set cover by Brandon Boring with Kayla Cardenas–see, this is what i’m: the satire is so serious no one gets it.]
Christmas Countdown: 1862
“Truce for Christmas” indicates that the German/Brit soccer game of 1914 wasn’t a new thing. Apparently the Rebs/Yanks got to singing together for a bit, too. Colby Gray goes ethereal pop, which is better than a Sousa march, i reckon. Oh, all right, i dig this.
Christmas Countdown: 1864
Hungry for Music kicks off our Civil War Christmas remembrances with “Christmas 1864 (II).” This kicky folk strummer gets footnote-y betwixt the suffering and the angst. You knew this, right?
Christmas Countdown: 1889
JoJo’s Bizarre Adventures is one of the best-selling Weekly Shōnen Jump series of all-time. As mangas go… i have no idea (i only watch what my son recommends). But “Joestar Jingle Bells” by Firenetic goes the distance of the nine arcs of different JoJos, including one who died in a boat In 1889. This might be for fans only.
Christmas Countdown: 1893
“Great Moments in Redneck History #5” is spoken (drunk?) history to a lively background beat/twang. Hot Target may be makin’ stuff up, but i take the holiday magic seriously and this applies. A miracle, of sorts, is upon us.
Christmas Countdown: 1-900
In “The Greatest Gift” The Christmas Cards seem to think the baby Jesus was born 1900 Christmastimes ago. Or was it something Emperor Trajan did then? This whistling folk plonker shoulda stuck with the gifts at 6, 7, and 11. They were more entertaining.
Back in the 1980s the 1-900 phone lines were money-makers for Hulk Hogan and New Kids on the Block. You could get an insult, a joke, or a prayer a day for a few extra dollars on your phone bill. But, as with the internet afterwards, sex ruined everything. Matt Rogers’s “Have Yourself a 1-900 Christmas” should explain the scam if you can’t see it coming. Oh yes, and BLUE ALERT. Kids get permission.
Glad to listen to Krista Detor again. “One Too Many Christmases” explores what’s she’s got for the holidays–that loser with one too many charges to 1-900-HONEY. She’s through with that, though, the hot country beat proves it. Heave ho ho ho, bro.