Christmas Countdown: 911

What’s nine one one to you? A call? A car? A calamity? It could be so many things!

Some Karen called 911 when someone Christmas Day was seen breaking and entering in “Santa Got Arrested” by The Arrogant Worms. Bouncy pop. Just what we need.

Also calling would be Cledus T. Judd who can take only so much “Merry Christmas From the Whole Fam Damily.” Pop redneck country. [Cledus also avails of 911 in “Tree’s on Fire.” Fishing for spokesperson role?]

Pyreworks heavy metals the merry tale of children calling for help when “Santa Died” on the floor of their home–where’s Grampa?!

A 911 Carrera tops RuffGotRhumes’s “My Christmas List.” Inoffensive, nay playful, rap.

JohnLion compares a rare beauty to both Christmas morning and a Porsche 911 in “Sleigh Tonight.” Lusting rap for that red dress.

Nick and Gabe bring it back around to novelty with “Thank God (9/11 Wasn’t on Christmas).” This pop tribute begins with how awful people make the holidays, BUT… ‘coulda been worse. Thanks for the perspective, boys.

Christmas Countdown: 944

The Killers return with another of their killer mini-movie videos. “Dirt Sledding” is all over the place, a hipster poetry dialogue concerning who wants to bring whom what. Red Porsche 944 like Jake In “Sixteen Candles” may be what Santa wants to gift, but the narrator wants it simple: pretty girls, Christmas lights. Driving rock.

Christmas Countdown: 999

“Dial 999” is a fun children’s song about Santa crashing and needing emergency services. Plus a house fire, and a runaway cooked turkey. Pauline Willoughby has an odd sense of appropriateness, but when we realize 999 is emergency for the UK all is clear again. Those Brits!

Tortured banjo folk from People Who Look Like Things disses the religiously observant, claiming there are only “1000 Christmases.” Then we’ll be free. They keep singing about it so much, they note there’s only 999 more now. What’s got there goat (lamb?)?

Christmas Countdown: 1000?!

So many songs include the grand number 1.000 for Christmas that some of them just get weird. That’s OH kay with me.

Emerson & Cassidy adorably get the lyrics wrong in “Deck the Holly Thousand Polly,” a kids’ groaner that grandparents everywhere are sure to love.

Oppositely, some judge done sent a thousand families distant in “Christmas in a Cell.” Lil Tjay BLUE ALERT requests mercy for his race for the holidays in this lively rap.

Just as angry/festive Gary Mangred hates those carols Singing about the snow A thousand klo-metres away (as well as the toys, toys toys). “I Wish It Could be Christmas Every Year” would wrangle the true meaning of 12/25 out of the mess we’re in–but it’s so goofy hipster i gotta throw it in the whatever heap. Tortured uke folk.

Metaphorically, “The Castle” by The Flaming Lips is nearly holiday-ish. It seems to psychedelically describe some feminine apex, including her brain. Her brain = The Castle, which is brighter than a thousand Christmas trees. It doesn’t end well in this throwback prog-rock doodler; i’m guessing love was lost. But imagery still burns bright.

“The Little Girl’s Dream” is the Spike Jones spoof on The Nutcracker, so look out for the war ‘against the thousand mice. And bodily noises as instruments. Bloody symphonic nightmare.

Christmas countdown: 1000*

The REAL meaning of Christmas–(by the thousand)?

Shanta Fuentes’s wishlist Has grown a thousand feet (Where she hopes that Everyone would find peace) in “Snow Baby (Fa La La La Love)”. Diva pop blues that dances more than preaches.

Composercleo laments that There are people in this world Spending a thousand something. But his “Screwge” is a playful be-boppity rap which just complains about the commercialism of gifting. The alternative, he hints, is family.

Christmas Countdown: 1000/\

If being a thousand miles away sucks at Christmas, how good is it to BE home?

“Miss Christmas” is what Abigail Bowers does NOT want to do, b/c of the thousand little moments she loves. So, yeah, not there–but the song so positively whispers in diva jazz pop about the good parts ’bout being there, we’ll count it as there.

Getting cosy with it, “Homemade Christmas” shows Eleri Angharad your love is like a thousand little lights. Her shrill slow pop is romantic and antic at the same time.

Your tree shines out in a thousand shades of gold heralds Christopher Joseph Cortés (feat. Jeremy Perez, Jesse Mclaren & Tim Garcia) in spirited high school glee form by means of “It’s Christmas Time,” a spiraling pop statement of popitude.

Christmas Countdown: 1000…

How much further apart can you be for Christmas than 1000 miles? Well, we’ve already covered songs that bemoan 12,000 miles. But that 4-digit distance… that’s f-a-r.

Drove a thousand miles just to see you smile warble Goo Goo Dolls in “This is Christmas.” Alt-pop laconism. Effective.

Also weary, “Won’t be Home for Christmas” recounts how yet again There’s a thousand miles between us (And another year that’s seen us throw it all away). Flyte marches in a sorrowful holiday pop drum beat.

Under the tree Wrapped presents w/ your name On the marquee A thousand miles away boy band pop Amely with “Christmas Time Again.” I’m not sure where they’re going with that. Bouncy, though.

All the flights have been delayed phones in John Legend a thousand miles away. He’ll be there “By Christmas Eve“–you can count on him. Earnest soul.

Larson Lee admits “This Christmas Day (I’m Far Away).” Less lugubrious, more chimey pop the thousand miles away doesn’t seem so bad.

Well about 1000 miles away Lives a big ole jolly man With presents on his sleigh sings David Brodie in the oddly serious “December 24th (One Night).” Not sure what the odometer will read when he’s done, but this perky bluegrass limned pop rejoices.

Christmas Countdown: 1000-

Christmas wants you to celebrate love. But… if the one that you want isn’t amenable/available Christmas feels like a slap in the stocking.

No Commercial Potential (NCP) wants you present for his “Christmas Presence.” Over four dozen Christmas seasons… or is it a thousand Christmas mornings… he’s been without you. Good memory. Symphonic ballad rock.

It’s only been half a decade for Henry Mansfield who only wants to talk on that “Call on Christmas Eve.” Tangling imagery and symbols this piano concerto of a pop love ballad wants to meet at the dock for a thousand skipping rocks. Seems sincere. Desperate, but up front about it.

“A Thousand Deaths at Christmas” is what it feels like for Møunt Pleasant and Løwlands to miss you. Experimental alt-pop.

“1000 Seasons” is a sprightly rock anthem about long distance missing you from The Rentals. The question becomes: do the words here help? Well, i never meta self-referencing song i didn’t like.

Just only solely “Christmas Alone” by Exxon · Orla Hylleberg Eriksen expresses a pathetic dinner for one, solo dancing, and lighting a thousand candles (one by one) to metal-tinged rock-mania. Call a support group!

Seems like she’s been gone a thousand years croon The Moonglows in “Just a Lonely Christmas.” Slow dance. Then collapse. He‘s been gone a thousand years drawl The Supremes in their later cover, adding more musicality (well, strings) and pain.