Nikki and Ziki Hexum get light rock romantic with “This Christmas Night.” Out of one thousand and one people there’s only you, ya love match you.
Christmas Countdown: 1200
Party rap from 69 Boyz, Quad City DJ’s, K-Nock and the whole Quad City family off the dam fine Quad City All Star Christmas album asks whatcha gunna get him/her for that special gift. The boys ask for a twelve disc changer and on and on. The girls start with twelve hundred dollars. So “What You Want for Christmas” makes our list of numbers. Worth it at the given price point.
Christmas Countdown: 12.25
Rob Lord sweetly serenades us with a Southern Hemispherically Christmas, like no other. This laid back “12.25” pummels pop into a soulful seduction. Sign me up.
Christmas Countdown: 1-2-3-4
Counting up is going the wrong way, but The Cheeky Girls layer Eurovision on top of innuendo on top of cheesy pop to open “Have a Cheeky Christmas,” a must-have for any novelty fan. Everybody pumping!
The Nameless go funky garage off-key with “Xmas Time,” when they wait for your plane to land: 1,2,3,4–go for it!
Alternating ‘twixt English and Japanese, “Christmas Town” by Santa Paine (feat. Purplepeople) counts off to love, ‘cuz they’re young. Gentle alt-pop.
One of my formative favorites, Madness, sillily stumble over intros (Hello, this is Woody… 1,2,3,4…) like it’s a dress rehearsal–but the ska comedy of “Inanity Over Christmas” with its Jimmy Cagney gangster movie references, world tour stop name-drops, and bitter cold complaints is casual jollity. Like a Beatles fan-bonus? Or a shout-out to Bonzo Dog, perhaps. Any way, one of my new happy places. (Excuse the cover below.)
Christmas Countdown: 1300
About 200 inches of snow during “Winter in Eastport” Maine, right on the corner of the Atlantic next to Canada. But the 1300 population who brave the winters there get quite the tribute from Flooded Cellar’s chatty folk ballad. Top that, Bismarck!
Christmas Countdown: 1500 (BLUE ALERT)
We’ve about run out of yearly demarcations, so let’s get nasty again. Rich Homie Quan figures “1500” is the tipping point to A LOT. This year was a Merry Christmas ‘cuzza that many presents under the tree. Last year was sad ‘cuzza that many people shitted on him. So, yeah, that raps out to a lot.
Christmas Countdown: 15:34
“Christmas in the Suburbs” is the spoken word poetry of Croyden Tourist Office which sniffly announces the end of civilization with the imagery of small town ostentatiousness. Time of death fifteen thirty-four. Otherwise, timeless.
Christmas Countdown: 1642
Family Friend has nothing better to do, so they follow important historical Christmasses from 1968 (first humans orbited earth) to 1642 (Isaac Newton born). Yet the indie pop of “Boring Christmas (blaze away)” recommends you burn the tree… oh, hang on–drug reference! Are you so bored you smoke, or so smoked you’re bored?
Christmas Countdown: 1666
Celebratory in nature, “Christmas Day 1666” assails the rafters with coordinated hymn-ing. But the Chicago a Cappella seem to want wine as well as heaven in this modern day church paean. Is it the six-six-six part?
Christmas Countdown: 1670
Puritanical Powers compel thee to have a “Christmas 1670“! Not sure if 10 Killing Hands is pulling our breeches, but kinda doubt those austere pioneers woulda celebrated ANYTHING. (See: “The World is Turned Upside Down” about the Puritans doing away with this holy day in 1649.) Still, this soft indie rock is compelling me to enjoy.