Year-round Yuletide oddities
Sometimes i don’t get it…. Punchline shimmy-shammies their BLUE ALERT rap “Punchline Christmas Rap” with So go ask Santa and his eight reindeer,
For 37 Everywhere. Get it?
Why does Waylan St. Palan enjoy “Christmas at the Bar“? There’s 37 relatives that just don’t agree–And every single one of them has cornered me. Burlesque jazz squalling. Merry, merry, merr–I’m tellinya–yeah.
Just get some 38 Special holiday cheer! country-rocks .38 Special in their self congratulatory “A Wild-Eyed Christmas Night.” ‘Sall about the partying. “Skynyrd Family” continues that party [38’ll be there too!] with more comical pickin’.
In-between these numbers is the thirty-nine and a half foot pole no one would touch the Grinch with. Many have tried to improve on this ‘standard,’ but let’s settle on the pretty Tyler, the Creator “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch.”
If there’s an idea The Simpsons hasn’t made a joke about… wait’ll next season. So, apparently in season 22, Mr. Burns leads the Simpson family AS MUPPETS (and Mo, and Katy Perry) in “The 39 Days of Christmas [click the title for the entire bit],” featuring all the lovable 19th Century shenanigans the old codger celebrates (anarchists, fishwives, scriveners, and more).
Blake Shelton (feat. Reba) yodels the corn outta “Oklahoma Christmas.” See they can’t get home for the holidays (40 Westbound is a sheet of ice) from TN.
While on the road, note the odd Limey rap of Central Cee on the A40 tryna act lidge, when I hit the backroad, I’ll pick up the speed The trap phone jump two, three, and I’m on two fours like Christmas Eve. “Xmas Eve” is a BLUE ALERT road trip of troubles.
While we’re tolerating the BLUE ALERT let’s tolerate the comedy of Twiztid’s “A Very Twiztid Christmas.” This is an epic farce of angry believing, violent tendencies, and hazy celebration–the presents are wrapped Shaggy’s style through with a 40 in a sac.
Wait, you want meaning? James Wotal drags out the soapbox and folksings the damnation of materialism in “Blinded by Christmas.” 40% off and free FedEx shipping isn’t the true meaning after all!
BLUE ALERT from Swansea Mosh complaining about the laziness of only working one day a year in “I Saw Santa Signing On“–a reference to applying for unemployment (with UB 40, Unemployment Benefits Form 40). Rocking the anger.
Prestomystic relieves the stress by “Jackin’ It on Christmas.” Light euphemistic profane-ness that fun, until he gets caught [Preston?–What’s up, what’s up–Are you okay in there It’s been like, forty minutes]. Pop music.
Perhaps an origin story, The Benefit & Chinese Firekites recount how a chance encounter (and being out like 40 bucks) results in the need to write a song, even though “Christmas Shoes (Will Kill the Mood)” on Christmas Day.
LadBaby has a series of parody songs featuring their fave-o British treat sausage rolls, all in the name of holiday charity raising [our expectations at the beginning was just to make Top 40, and-Raising funds for the food bank charity, the Trussell Trust]. “Don’t Stop Me Eating” might be the best of those parodies.
Over the Rhine takes us back in time [saxophone recorded forty years ago] to dwell in the sad past for “All I Get for Christmas is Blue.” Desultory jazz.
Tipped over 40 seems to be the appropriate age for a particular melancholy that requires the rationalization “It’s OK to be Alone (This Christmas).” Faithful Johannes (feat. Benjamin Amos) sways the funky pop to cheer me up and bring me down all in one song.
Corny much? The nonsense of the routine may get our wits in a twist but, Got our cameras, we’re recording Cause we’ll watch this when we’re forty–so sez Jamison Gray in his fine subtle pop “Christmas Morning.”
1980s humor dates the Fallen Angel Chorus making hay with ’12 Days’ in “For My 40-Something Christmas.” Work that vibrating thighmaster, girls!
“40 Years of Xmas” is an amazing countdown of the lives of Connor Ratliff & Mikey Erg. Folk strutting that borders on rap whirls my wind.
Jethro Tull’s back, but allowing Jesus some time off for good behaviour. Forty days, give or take a few in “Birthday Card at Christmas.” Poppin’!
“Not Quite Almost Christmas Time” is an unbridled celebration of the joy and stress of to much holiday calendar. Tom Hardy sings not quite children’s music, but not quite fun pop [So imagine how stressed he (Santa) gets when he sees people hanging ornaments A full forty days before Christmas—pretty stressed, right?]. Informative Aussie fun.
“Another Christmas Without My Niggas” is the BLUE ALERT nostalgia of Boogie Badazz. Lookin’ back isn’t sweet–nothing is. Miss my friend
(Clutchin’ on the forty, got it hangin’ out the shirt, ain’t no hoes over here). Even “This Christmas” isn’t too good for ol’ Badazz: They just gave lil’ Bobby 40 ‘fore Christmas time (Damn, Bobby).
Even naughtier is the promiscuous new acquaintance Drago (feat. Freeah) makes in “Naughty List.” This bouncy rap (to the tune ‘Last Christmas’) veers from women to drugs (Got a 40 ounce of dro so we gon’ run it up) to the difference between composer and conductor.
LRN Nola (feat. Okill & LRN Fly) BLUEST LIST rapping responds to “I Hate Santa” with all sorts of other hatin’ [I’ll go get that .40 and pipe you down]–most of is misogynistic. Get it all out….
Ease up, ease up. “How The Grinch Stole Covid” by Reality Student Ministry re-raps the story with children in mind. Distancing at 6 feet apart? The Grinch laments, People won’t touch me Man, with a 40 foot pole!
Lamar Riddick gets up to family speed with the Christmastime cheer in his “Rudolph,” a rap of rapid word play [Iʼm a 4.4 40 yard Dasher]. Faster!
Scenic World has Christmas stress in “Green and Red,” a peppery pop tune about unrealized dreams [On to planet b] and unappreciated beauty [It’s 40 at best]. It’s short and sour. But, that’s the holidays.
Just keep it above forty fahrenheit demand Official Sidekick Productions in their surly satire “I Can’t Fly My Kite in the Snow.” Why so serious?
Although the nostalgia takes us back to when I was ten and didn’t want to wait, Sum41 refer to themselves (and this title) in “Unwritten Christmas.” So, we’ll count it. Fun rocking (and occasional rapping).
Cheezy pop from some Barbie Christmas special, “It’s Gonna be Amazing” includes holiday antics like seeing a show on 42nd Street. Run. Save yourself.
An uncomfortable education comes from Ras Kass (feat Doc Hollywood). “Jack Frost 2 (White Christmas)” raps through Saturnalia, Bethlehem, and ‘Miracle on 42nd Street.’ Open your eyes, sheeple!
Counting the months of love Jill Johnson runs the vocal range on the pop country song until she runs out of the love in time for “Christmas on My Own.” No bitterness though, as she wants to wish a merry Christmas, to the shiny people that I met on 42 street. Brave. I reckon.
When we were young, Christmas time was fun; But, now I’m 42 and I can’t wait ’til it gets through is the grown up message from Liar’s Club in the second half of their rock duology “Agnostic Christmas/Merry F___ing.”