Category: other holiday

WHAT ELSE? The Question

Christmas isn’t the only day of the year. Mercy, it isn’t even the only celebration of December. It’s that time of the year to take a breather and explore our options.

First off, let’s address the reindeer in the room: How are you even asking about OTHER holidays? Certes, i address Hanukkah semi-irregularly ‘cuz it was Jesus’ Christmas. But why the wandering eye, you cheater?

A couple songs to bask in the confusion of the competition.

Demi Adejuyigbe plays the War on Christmas card with his racist “I Hope You Have a Very Merry Holiday.” The big three (Hanukkah-Kwanzaa-Christmas) fight it out here, although the C-word is never said aloud. Fun, chatty country.

On the other side “Christmas Isn’t Real” according to JMaq (Shark Uppercut) who pop raps the electronica with some secular humanist bummery.

Bill Wurtz brings the lite pop of a sitcom musical intro for his “Christmas isn’t Real.” It’s like a calendar on acid. And continues to bring Xmas into question.

From Usurped Christian Kingdoms (BLUE ALERT)

Foul language against the competition as well? Sam Hill right! Get on board the cursing cruise as we drive-by Kwanzaa and Hanukkah too!

Thugzy Bunnie cracks me up with his hippity hip hop smashing on all winter celebrations out at the mall, beginning with “Fuck Christmas.”

Cuntgod rattles off the standard list with “Fuck Hanukkah.” Clotted metal punk with a hint of klezmer. Get the guy a lozenge.

The Skivvies (in their underwear) practice “It’s F*cking Hanukkah” for us live. Whitey rap is so hilario.

Much more positive, but also only a draft, “Light the Fucking Candles” from Eva Moon & the Lunatics calls on the Chosen to get with it. Fun folk rock.

As Seen on TV: Family Guy/American Dad

The anti-Simpsons barfed and farted briefly, before it was taken up as a cause célèbre by the slacker generation and became to big to fail, despite the best efforts of boy-men writers.

Comedy Christmas bits include the “Peter Griffin Christmas Album” full of mumbly, nonsensible parodies. Hee hee. Oh, and an ironic take on “Jesus Child” as brainwashed braying of the brethren. Bazinga!

Rerun: the best are the big musical numbers like “Christmas Time is Killing Us” (black humor), and “All I Really Want for Christmas” (naughty).

The later series leans on more groovy music. “The Steve and Krampus Duet” is an R+B jewel in a sad ‘Beauty and Beast’ takeoff. Not much Christmas here, but it’s got Slavic tradition.

As Seen on TV: Grey’s Anatomy

Slushy, sudsy, and saccharine, this replacement for human life weathers on yet today. The background music is brilliant at telegraphing the ‘complex’ emotions the scenes wreak within you. Some of it is well worth sharing, i will admit. Music from Grey’s Anatomy is nearly an industry in itself, despite the season often breaks around Xmas without addressing the holidays much.

SEASON 2: “This Christmastime” by Mascott is charming folk pop.

Any excuse for The LeeVees, please! “Latke Clan” bounces in that same realm.

“Christmas After All” by Maria Taylor is that self indulgent grown up pop that sounds better than it is.

SEASON 6: “A Magical Season” by Tim Myers is also adult bubblegum. YAWN.

“All I Want for Christmas (Is to Give My Love  Away)” by The Rescues is late nite FM porn. So sweet.

Ingrid Michaelson restores a tiny bit of integrity with authentic folk in “Snowfall.” Still too weepy by half.

SEASON 7: “It’s Christmastime” by Jules Larson is upbeat altpop. Something danceable at last.

Back to melancholia from Boy Least Likely To with “First Snowflake.” So thoughtful… snore.

“Nun Gimmel Heh Shin” by The LeeVees recites the dreidel faces with much ponderous portent.

Parodies’ Paradise: 1953 “That’s Amore!”

Okay, douglove needs a little holiday break….

For the next couple months i will share the sincerest form of flattening, copying someone else’s tune. But inserting a Christmas song to it! Totally. Some people are spot on this paro-deus form of musicality. Bob Rivers is the Obi Wan of it all. ApologetiX will be featured again and again as masterful Christian cover-makers. Robert Lund (from FuMP) fills in FM stations with his latest jiggery pokery. My man here Joel Kopischke has a cottage industry in performing little shows THAT time of year. As do The ’60s Invasion. Many amateurs post their talents. Other big deal ‘tubers (like KeyofAwesome) bring studio quality to the fun.

So, we’ll wend our way through the decades, stealing stats from Wikipedia to clue you in to the monster hits that are the targets here. (None of the originals will be linked; they aren’t Xmas. So there.)

Let’s get going.

Dean Martin’s signature number tumbled out of his Martin-Lewis pic ‘The Caddy’ and was nominated for an Academy award. It hit number 2 as a single later and has followed him like the smell of cheese since (many enjoy that smell).

Gentile Joel Kopischke reminds of of other holidays with “That’s a Menorah.” Sing a long! Now just the Jews!

Behold a Star: Marilyn Monroe

Norma Jeane Mortensen was a foster kid bounced around homes and careers and men until she became a glossy prop for Americana. Whether or not she ever was allowed dreams of her own, she became the dream of millions and that’s all that needs to be said here. Sadly.

Lou Mencell and His Mambonicks has a listing January 1955 on Billboard for new pop releases. His hangdog nasal “All I Want for Chanukah is Marilyn Monroe” has been featured on my blog before. But come on. It’s cool.

United We Christmas Tree Stand: revolting

Yankee Doodle is an insult, of course, but we know how to reappropriate tawdry phrases in this here land of the i-hear-what-i-want-to-hear, home of the  shut-your-immigrant-faces.

And no better starting point than K-4 in our public education. Plank Road Publishing offers several easy-to-learn musical numbers for kids for special events indoctrinating, educating, and amusing all at once.

Sitting through these free-for-alls in asbestos-ridden antique auditoria is not the same as listening to music. So let’s not worry about the sampler-sized parcels available from Teresa and Paul Jennings’s work. (These are the adverts for the musical directors at elementary schools–I am NOT going to attach the home movies of any performances.)

Suffice to say, “An All American Christmas,” and “Yankee Doodle Santa,” and “Yankee Doodle Christmas” all sound like someone has an unrequited love of music, a bureaucratic devotion to children, and a carefree sense of history.