Year-round Yuletide oddities
It’s infidelity! It’s always cheatin’, why they leave–Christmas or no. Who was it? You can tell me.
Monty Lane Allen has a follow up from his spoofin’ ‘Randolph the Reindeer’ with more honky tonk, “She Left Me for Randolph.” Oh, deer.
Barbadian Eric Lewis parangs about the whole mix-up with “She Mistake Me for Santa Claus.” How long has this been gwan on?
Due to the number of geek/nerd acquaintances in my realms, i dug into science fiction (real aficionados hate the shortened form) Christmas songs. I had hoped to represent Christmas on Mercury and each of the other planets. Note to aspiring novelteers: only the moon and Mars are taken. So i settled for TV show fan fawning. A couple cool tunes did pop up Here are some more.
Piedmont Songbag answers the question What do boy-geniuses do when it’s April and they want holiday pageantry/presents NOW? “Christmas Time Machine” licks OG rock ‘n’ roll with some Jerry Lee flare. And a happy ending, unusual for their brand of iconoclasm.
“Rocket Ship Santa” continues the nasty rockabilly with The BellRays (feat. Lisa Kekaula, Tony Fate, and Bob Vennum). Flames a bit, but some by-the-numbers.
Rolling into rocking (alt) pop, Watch Out for Rockets settles their need for feline companionship AND technical upgrades with “Kitty Robot.” Brave new world that has such clickable purchases in it.
Finally some electronica! Control Volume randos out with “Robot Santa.” Brought to you by the Something Awful guys. Warned you.
Not to be confused with Kharmakray’s “Robot Jesus,” more a testimonial about church than holiday. But Christmas gets a call out.
The ‘Chocolate Rain’ guy from Youtube, call him Tay Zonday, has a lightly veiled topical metaphor “Alien Christmas!” Who would Jesus allow in? Pop loud.
Christmas Queens bring you Jackie Beat & Katya dragging the spaceways with “Bossa Nova Christmas in Outer Space.” Yeah, it’s got that beat. And some rap form romanticals. Fruit-cakey naughtiness.
The holidays are the best, right? Well, not for everyone. Not every year. For any variety of rationalizations, sentiments run red to black concerning the merry and the jolly and the joy.
Some songs, then, for the angered, the frustrated, the hater.
A couple years into Youtube Premium’s pay channel original content the holiday movie ‘The Keys of Christmas’ revamped ‘Carol’ with big musical stars and a few musical numbers. “Christmas is a Bitch” is Rudy Mancuso’s Scrooge-type character complaining on a grand piano outside at night. Showtune.
REM backbeats some maundering mumblings for their “Christmas Griping.” How do you like them crabbles?
We can always count on Arrogant Worms to deliver absurd mixed messages musically. “Christmas Sucks!” is klezmer character assassination done right (although Grayson174 is a little heavy handed with the hilarious memes).
Surely the coughing and snotting this time of year must result in woe. Let us sing of the pain.
Bringing the hurt is Vincent Zarletti in one of those ‘worst Christmas song’ contests. “The Christmas Virus” seems to begin on the cookies, but rises to showtune heights.
Arrogant Worms take it easy on the suffering with some fast-paced blue grass: “Vincent the Christmas Virus.” I’ve caught the St. Vitus Dance!
Jeff Elva, well known in the calypso world as the Mighty Pelay, brings da riddim with “Christmas Virus.” It’s in the air, it’s everywhere. And dad be duh gud ting. It da midey feelun ub Kreesmus.
Let’s get to the meat and potatoes of Xmas couture: the red suit. You know. You know.
Plank Road Publishing (i think) brings us “The Man in the Bright Red Suit,” hyperactive kidsong.
Centennial Elementary in WA state relays the cute kid parody of ‘Run Around Sue’: “The Jolly Man in a Big Red Suit.” Teen despair over heartache begone!
Takes a minute, but the Peter Pan Singers (here redubbed Peppermint Kandy Kids) noodle through their orchestral “The Man in the Red Suit.” You know who they mean (not a doctor… not a cowboy…).
Time for parody? The ’60s Invasion send up ‘Devil in a Blue Dress’ with “Santa in a Red Suit.” Good golly, Miss Frosty.
Who was that red-suited man? ask the shaken survivors. Tyler Bernhardt wonders about”A Man in a Red Suit” with funky jazz pop. Our only clue is that he came in through the fireplace.
You’re too young to know about the “Fat Man in a Red Suit,” according to Tesse with lovely psychedelic garage mood.
Skaramanga are much more mysterious with their “Man with the Red Suit.” He’ll solve your probs. But–who is he?! Carib-beat-pop.
Music from other countries have specific subgenre labels (and styles and significances), but i’m gonna lump ’em up here because i only got a couple and it’s acceptable as an American to do so.
Just across the pond is hardly far (or foreign), but “Our Irish Christmas Card” is so ethnocentric, you might need subtitles. Joe and Tammy Burns get into the Christmas card list, so the joke is how big those Catholic families are–hah hah, no contraception.
Filipino Christmas music is a big honking deal, so believe me when i say “Christmas Cards” by The Bukros Singers (in their own language) is honest, reverent, and celebratory.
Big fan of the frantic parang, although Malvern V. Gumbs’s “A Christmas Card” is a bit overdone with peppy brass backups. Comes off a bit disco.
Naturalism is a form of theater that celebrates the bottom rung of humanity, illustrating and educating us to the indomitable human spirit despite adversity. Or makes us laugh at how stupid and ugly the poor are.
The suburban losers of this show at least have an Old World immigrant to think of as less than them. Rolf sings us the “Yeshmiyek Song” which, while not a reverse of Christmas, is a holiday favorite about food and hygiene from a mythical creature of a different land.
The highest rated preschool show on Nickolodeon in the the ’90s was this critically acclaimed cultural heritage honorarium. Each show was full of songs, including the Xmas episode with Sea Island versions of classic carols.
But they did bless us with a short, sweet encore “Merry Christmas to Ya,” one of the few songs that allows it’s a show wishing an audience cheer.
I’m disallowing musical revue shows, of which the ’60s are replete. No Andy Williams, Dean Martin, or even Red Skelton. But some shows do feature the musical adventures of fictional folk, so they loophole in.
The Monkees only lasted a couple years (1966-1968) so not much Christmas music. One of their missteps was the 3/4 reunion song from a mid-‘seventies album, “Christmas is My Time of Year.” All of the pop, with none of the counterculture they were known for.
One novelty, however, is the 16th Century villancico, “Riu Chiu.” This Spanish song celebrated the kingfisher bird chasing the wolf away from the Virgin Mary right around nativity and had been popularized previously by The Kingston Trio. But these fake musicians shine here with their unaccompanied angelic harmony for this episode.
While The Brady Bunch has their own TV family Christmas album, it’s all traditional music, nothing the least novel.
The Partridge Family‘s Christmas album almost suffers the same fate, but includes one original: “My Christmas Card to You.” It features David Cassidy thinking of and singing to you (and family). Swoon.
This was the second longest running western on TV. But they blessed us with the best TV Western Christmas album of all, Christmas on the Ponderosa, a 1963 concept miracle.
Many will poke fun at big dumb ol’ Hoss Cartwright as when he sings “Deck the Halls” in a harrowing bass. But it’s in the spirit and all, so shut up.
The cast gathers for the second cult hit “Merry Christmas Neighbors.” Bourgeoise judginess.
The better stuff is the old fashioned songs that never caught on, like Pernell Roberts singing “The New Born King.”
And Michael Landon with “Oh Fir Tree Dear.”
There’s some foolin’ around as well with Landon’s “Santa Got Lost in Texas.”
But best is the short fun of Lorne Greene with “Santa Got Stuck in the Chimney.”
