Category: Soul

Parodies’ Paradise: 2015 “Hello”

Adele’s lead single from her third studio album became her second UK number-one single, following… the largest opening week sales in three years… debuted at the top of the BillboardHot 100 in the US, reigning for 10 consecutive weeks… fourth number-one on the chart… the first song to sell over a million digital copies in a week… 2015’s 7th best-selling single… the music video broke the Vevo Record by achieving over 27.7 million views within a 24-hour span… also broke the record for shortest time to attain 100 million Vevo views, as well as shortest time to reach one billion YouTube views (88 days)… won three Grammy Awards: Record of the Year, Song of the Year, and Best Pop Solo Performance.

Adele-able parodies tend to lift the level of high humor due to her… saintliness?

Alyssa Smith plays her collegiate parody into a “Hello It’s Christmas.” But it takes forever and the lip synching is novocained.

Nicole Wilson invites you to her Xmas party with her “‘Hello’ Adele Parody.” That’s some trouble for an e-vite.

Kelsey Lynn Ellis redeems the echoey vocalizations with “Hello from the North Pole” in which Santa searches for the faithful.

Tim Wheeler takes it up a pearly gate with “Hello, Christmas Eve” pitching services for his church. Wait. this is advertising!

Kelli Smith goes Jesus with Josh Christopher’s “Hello.” Christ’s birth is a wake up call, y’all. Hello!

Newlife fights the war against Christmas with “Hello (It’s Christmas Time).” I’m not sure which haters don’t want him to don his gay apparel, but he makes a case for ostentatious decorating. Great video.

Rakhee Noazaria spends a whole minute trying to get the ‘rents to answer the door in her “Hello (Christmas Edition).” Hehe.

Joel Kopischke, a god among parodists, has Kelli Cramer sing about a disappointed list maker in “‘Hello’ Adele Christmas Parody.” Kelli sells it, and the humor is largely blown out of the water by her vocals.

Phat Daddies make the obvious play with “Ho Ho” casting Santa as the emo whiner we hate to see. Nice parody.

The same idea in “Ho Ho” by The White Boys takes its own sweet time, but comes off funnier.

Kim Novak brings it down the chimney with her “Ho Ho.” It’s not all cookie jokes, but Santa takes it on the belly here.

Parodies’ Paradise: 1972 “Me and Mrs. Jones”

Billy Paul’s only #1 single on the Billboard Hot 100… for three weeks… also achieved this feat on Billboard’s R&B Singles chart… for four weeks.

Kevin and Bean featured someone by the band handle MMM with a raunchy “Me and Mrs. Claus” back in 1997.

Bob Rivers handles his ’02 samey with masterful soul. “Me and Mrs. Claus” underplays the wacky and turns up the wit. Nice.

Parodies’ Paradise: 1967 “Soul Man”

Sam and Dave dropped the most successful Stax Records single to date upon its release… the single peaked at number one on the Billboard Hot Black Singles chart… number two on the Billboard Hot 100 in the United States…  number two in Canada… awarded the 1968 Grammy Award for Best Rhythm & Blues Group Performance, Vocal or Instrumental.

What’s the funny hook for Christmas on soul? Follow the Mistletones to their buddy, “Snowman.” Yeah, you saw that coming.

Parodies’ Paradise: 1960 “Shop Around”

The Miracles’ big hit was their first number 1 on the Billboard R&B singles chart… eight weeks at the top… also hit No. 2 on the Billboard Hot 100… also reached No. 1 on the Cash Box magazine Top 100 pop chart… the first million-selling record for the Miracles and for the Motown Record Corporation… a 2006 Grammy Hall of Fame inductee.

The Mistletones get easy mileage out of awkward lingerie gift getting by guys in their “Shop Around.” Oh my!

Ghost of Christmas Pastiche: Peter Murphy/Tom Waits

Professor Gall has a Tom Waits ol’ time with “Whiskey Was the Medicine (To Get Me Through Another Christmas Eve Night).”

FuMP delivers unto us Pony Death Ride’s “(It’s a) Tom Waits Christmas.” Just what I wanted!

Porn Orchard does a fun routine honoring these dolorous genre-breakers with “Christmas Sucks.” Some sites argue over whether these are impersonations. Come on.

Jesus Christ! the place

Vanessa Bell Armstrong funks up the soul for a wonderful testament to the time and place of the birth of the Light of the World, despite the over-tympanification. “The Inn Keeper” is a song to feel deep down into your faith organs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JV3HtXyriwU

Merry Mistletoe: Vandross, Hayes

Some are confused by the odd tradition of the mistletoe. For them a quick primer from That Guy with the Glasses: “Merry Zodmas: Mistletoe.” Aliens make our culture so approachable, y’know?

If you want to just FEEL it–appropriate for the subject at hand–Luther Vandross grooves cool with “The Mistletoe Jam.” That’s putting me in the mood.

And then, if you want to fall helplessly into the dreamy state of osculability, where your lips are their own masters, then ladies and gentlemen unprick your ears succumb to Isaac Hayes “The Mistletoe and Me.”

United We Christmas Tree Stand: wars unwon

The Vietnam War brought out Americans’ outspoken freedom of speech, Americans’ ruthless passion for ideals, Americans’ noncompromising polarization, and Americans’ (eventual) potential for limitless brotherhood and devotion to one another as a people.

During the struggle, our songs reflected our nation’s soul, especially honorin’ The Holiday.

The Soul Searchers’ “Christmas in Vietnam” is soulful soul, poignant piety, and brotherhood. Yeah, that means sad.

Pvt. Charles Bowens & The Gentlemen from Tigerland also add soul to “Christmas in Vietnam.” It’s got a bit more motown drive to it, though.

Dumb ol’ country hick singing from Jack Cardwell makes “Christmas in Vietnam” ironically morose. Keep the Kleenex (and a thank-you note) nearby. The Sullivan Family add a high-stepping beat to their version of this tune.

Hey you–i’m talking to you: there’s a Gee Dee reason for this war even over Christmas. If you need an update, hearken to Rusty Wellington explaining dominos to you in “No Christmas Tree in Vietnam.” Country condescension.

Derrik Roberts adds sfx and girl backups to “There Won’t Be Any Snow (Christmas in the Jungle).” It’s spoken word jazz that falls flat (despite the ‘twist’ ending).

This is a fair sampling, but should you want to follow the expert trail, subscribe to The Vietnam War Song Project. It’s not just Christmas over there.

Let’s get back to music. Johnny and Jon harmonize so soulfully you’ll believe you’re outflanked during their “Christmas in Vietnam.” This is a gospelization of doo wop that may be leading us up that hard road to hip hop. (Viet Cong! Viet Cong!)

Christmas List: item thirteen (parental love)

A lovely little soul number that has been getting terribly retreaded is “My Grown Up Christmas List.” This is about love for Xmas, and we’ll address all those songs that ask for that next up. But this sappy sweet song gets its own note from me, especially by Natalie Cole (and David Foster) ten years ago from videotape (with kanji translation).

Listen at your own peril to Barbara Streisand (torch song), Aretha Franklin (arpeggio exercise),  Kelly Clarkson (Broadway showstopper), Clay Aiken (falsetto), Amy Gant (smokey country), or Michael Buble (soft jazz) driving this sentimental journey into a brick wall.

Santa Jobs: dealer

John Kirby is silly karaoke style (‘Coming to Town’) tattling “Santa’s Got the Best Weed in Town,” Props for witty if one -note lyrical jokes.

“Nuclear Rabbit gets it with Santa Claus is Selling Crack.” This hard rocking garage monster sound exceeds psychedelia but stops short of metal, thank goodness.

Revisiting Martin Mull (backed up this time with the Sondra Baskin Glee Club) finds us some fantastico fol-de-rol “Santafly” tipping the boogie beanie to ‘Super Fly’ one of our more colorful cinematic drug dealers.