Another again! Crusty Jugglers recount the honkytonkin’ blues of coming home from cross-country trucking and finding “Santa’s Boots” under the bed. Man.
Let’s just get to the consummation of woman and myth.
Covering up a torrid affair? Blame that guy who is okay to drop by at night! But Unckle Eddie realizes CSanta Claus don’t come in July in “Summertime Santa.” Overly electric blues.
“Rollin’ in the Sheets” is the BLUE ALERT parody of ‘Rollin’ in the Deep’ but with Mr. Christmas making two to tango. Fizzbitch-goon goes all amateur out.
Fred Schneider & the Superions stage the sex act with Santa in “Santa Je T’aime.” It’s not so much a song as an exercise in voyeurism.
In fact, there’s not enough heterosexual encounters with that jolly old elf. So let’s gay one more time for the rock’n’roll “Sexy Santa” by Red Vs Blue.
Santa Claus is Missing! howls Pyreworks in their experimental church organ dirge “International Catastrophe.”
Where Have You Gone–? moans Rudy Casoni in the lounge act “The Christmas That Was.” But this time, the Sinatrator isn’t making with the comedy so much as the message. Santa died because we have forgotten the true meaning of Christmas. His body was found behind the Walmart
Aye Cay goes to extreme lengths to get even with Santa after being passed over. In bluegrass (reminiscent of Sufjan Stevens) he reveals “The Plot.” Not for the faint of hearth.
BLUE ALERT Rap “The Death Of Santa Claus” by Cult Activity (ft. Claas) holds no scruples over murder. Brutal.
Bullet in the head, is the method from Infinity Greenhouse. Indie pop BLUE ALERT autopsies “Santa’s Dead” with musical precision. Don’t tell the kids, but they’re not sorry.
White boy rap from T Vinci (feat. Sully Gunther, James PM, Woolly Peaches & Yung Krusty) follows a fall and plow over. “Santa?” is only the beginning. The boys do the cover up and then do the job. But….
Valley of Love (Dan Barbanel · Amaury Massion · Joy As a Toy) overproduce the dramatic reenactment “Santa Died for You.” As much a march as just plain pop.
Santa Criminal? Sharks Teeth run with space rock (think Pink Floyd) as they deconstruct their “Broken Trust in Santa.” Thoughtful, but scared.
BSam goes to immense, though amateurish, lengths to parody Jeff Wayne’s (awesome) rock opera ‘War of the Worlds‘ with “The Christmas Eve of War.” The sleighs are invading!
“Santa Took My Car” croons the country Duck Logic Comedy about the inexplicable actions of the jolliest one. He was given permission (and keys), but he didn’t even gas it up when he returned it!
“Christmas Cheers” from the Not fur Longs is a saccharine song about Santa trying to steal the tree. Infectious!
“Enter Santa” is the metal parody The Withers uses to warn you off the breaker and enterer.
Dave Rudolf points out Santa’s criminal driving record in “Folly Old St. Nicholas.” It changes up that old Xmas song.
D’Modes employs hard rock silliness to portray the mental decline of “Psycho Santa.” First he came for your trees… and you said nothing.
Some just hate Big Red. Worth repeating: Erin McKeown uses some swearing to proclaim “Santa is an A**hole.” This cowboy pop screed is a full portrait of all the flaws. Look out, kids!
“Oh, Santa!” by Mr.B The Gentleman Rhymer gentlemanly raps dislike about the mess left by that terrible visitor Christmas Eve. Ghastly that!
Dumpster Company improvs loudly as experimental artists in the raging “Fuck Santa (in f).” It’s all bad that time of the year. BLUE ALERT
Also lo-tech is Terry Childers venting “Hey Santa” with some decent drumming. He seems to be missing a radio….
“Here Comes Fatty Claus” by Rudolph & The Gang (Johnny MacRae) is hate speech pop (with profanity) about the high costs of giving. Sounds mean, but it comes from a place of hurt.
Chemtrail doesn’t merely doubt, but refuses Kris Kringle in the minimalist “You are Not Santa.”
The Silver Bells retro-rocks their disapproval about the double dealing Elf in “Santa Doesn’t Care About You.” Loved you and left you–nothing!
Even further, Beatnik Turtle also pop-rocks the disdain of Santy in “Santa Doesn’t Like You.” You got to face the fact.
Worth repeating: “Baby Boomer Santa” is from the Dan Harmon show Community and represents what Millennials think in their kaleidoscopic minds about the olds. OK Donald Glover, Danny Pudi, and Chevy Chase.
Sia Furler has an empty spot at Christmas, and wants not My everyday Santa Claus (which is you, ya deserter, you)–but “My Old Santa Claus” to help her out. Is that a compliment in millennial pop music??
Magritte & Rosen may refer to Old Man Christmas as an obese senior citizen, but in their skippy singalong “Santa Needs Some Help!” they address climate change and Covid-mania among his concerns. Do seniors care about that stuff?!
Patricia Vonne figures rockabilly will make the epithet “Old Man Santa” an endearment. But this this bar-burner accuses the old guy of cruisin’, rockin’, and blazin’.
I suppose tweeting makes Santa look young, but when “Santa’s Twitter Got Hacked” he’s just another old victim.
Valley of Love enter musical land with their episodic “Santa Claus Restauration.” It’s essentially about helping out the elderly.
“Santa’s Gettin’ Too Old for This” bemoans Dr. BLT in his signature folk-rock funk. This reality check is making me sad, so maybe don’t scat so much.
Worth repeating: BearRon(Rob Barron)’s “Nuttin’ (The Dumb Original Christmas Song)” is a thoughtful folk ballad about how a kid will get even for his Xmas betrayal. Love it.
From Flying Bomb Presents Surprise Package – The Collectors’ Edition comes Rocket 455’s “Santa Ain’t Comin’ This Christmas.” Finely aged punk brought to my attention care of Pete th’ Elf.
Rough punk from Lion’s Law has the beef that “He Never Came Around.” You know who.
Hilary Marckx protests that “Santa Claus is a-Rockin’.” Blue suede shoes and red blue jeans mark this dancing beard-o as rocking. I guess.
Kevin Sisson kicks a bit of rockabilly to ask “Rock Me Santa.” Like at the North Pole, chicken.
Kathy & Jimmy Zee travel from the past to rediscover “Santa Claus Rock and Roll.” This was from before elided consonants. Still hip from the lip.
Kerr Donnelly Band recalls Elvis to promote “Santa’s Rockin’.” It just keeps building….
Joseph Hollister makes the rockabilly wooden with his study of the “Rockin’ Santa Claus.” Still, a boot-scooter.
Jan Terri was known for a minute as a terrible, but earnest singer in the ’90s. Even opened a couple shows for Marilyn Manson. Here’s a sample of her work from one of her VHS giveaways, “Rock and Roll Santa.” Brace yourself.
