Most youtube song amateurs are mere children giggling and emulating rap stars. (The funny ones are way too brief.)
A few have the equipment, at least materially, to deliver a song.
Austin Jasay sings out of his range about “Mistletoe.” With his shirt and tie, politeness, and blue hair he’s easy to dismiss. But his song has range and flirts with depth.
Hannah J shows considerable range and intensity that at times reveals emotional fun (the Frosty metaphor) with her “Under the Mistletoe.” Grunge this up a bit with a back up bass and watch out. Sign off after the song, unless you like peeping in on the lives of underage girls being girls.
Gentle reminder, the big guy in the USA is not the prez… it’s God. John J. Peterson sings “It’s Christmas in America” as a catchy tune redolent with joy and recrimination about how we may have neglected the true meaning of Christmas. Christine Noga also sings this song. A bit more soul; she can carry a note!
John Kammerer wants to remind us–us!–that Christmas is not just about one nation, but one nation under god (that 1954 insistence). In “Christmas Time in America” his rocks populi nudges us into not taking country too much for granted. Without God… well, let’s not go there.
We’re getting divisive here, another grand tradition ‘mongst us. But that’s not our theme this month. So let’s leave off all the political sniping, the racism, sexism, ageism, weightism, heightism, classism (yes, virginia, there’s christmas songs for all haters, yo), and come together kumbaya.
Pat Benatar rallies the downtrodden with her “Christmas in America.” It’s extremely light rock, like seventy-year-old.
The Christmas songs of our founding fathers are too archaeological to consider (church hymns)–good Christmas carols don’t come around for another century after that.
But those second banana has-beens Paul Revere and the Raiders offer a light psychedelic commentary on Vietnam by singing about Revolutionary wartime conditions in “Valley Forge” (even Doonesbury saw that connection despite the jungle/snowbank dichotomy). Not much of a Yule tune, but it’s off their cool cool cool ’67 album: A Christmas Present… and Past. Good stuff, groovesters.
Some of the dance crazes out of the ’60s and beyond commanded their own music. Not too many got their own holiday reiteration.
“Do the Snowman” doesn’t mean what you think. It’s a call to dance. Figure it out. The Hollytones have an update for us.
The Crewcuts need a re-mention of their “Dance Mr. Snowman Dance” here. It’s more of a soft shoe, but–white guy scat!
TOUCH OF BLUE ALERT Completely misunderstanding the dance metaphors Ivor Bigguns goes nicely naughty with “You Can’t Have a Shag with a Snowman.” This modern music hall’s not about dancing any more, or is it?
The Bellrays have a handle on the art of the double entendre with their “All I Wanna Do is Shag for Christmas.” It’s definitely dance this time kids, kookie wookie boo-la-rah-rah.
If one dance gets more than its share of holiday closeup, it’s the twist. Y’know Chubby Checker’s hop.
Now the real stuff, the straight dope, sounds like The Twisting’ Kings and “Xmas Twist.” It’s rock with a Detroit soul, but it’s sincere. It means Y-O-U.
Low key style Los Straitjackets mumble out their “Holiday Twist” so you can catch up to it at any time. Just a warm up.
Usually hilarious, Dave Rudolf tries to sugar coat a mechanical clunker of “Candy Cane Twist.” That sax player wandered in from another song.
Unfortunate as well, The Fairies offer “The Christmas Twist” tentatively as if not sure if we’re allergic. (I am.) This is not rock.
As playful as a puppy with a drum set, Jay Matty lays out his “Merry Twistmas” with a loud backup and a wandering vocal register. So long as you dig he wants you to dance, it’s copacetic.
The respectful update befalls us from Si Cranstoun. “A Christmas Twist” is downright gospel rock. Amen, scantily dressed twisters.
Syd Straw also modernizes “Christmas Twist” this time with more gnarly electric guitar. Too pretty to really be rock, call it country.
Jack Rabbit Slim tries to recapture “The Christmas Twist” with mush mouth play. Seems idolatrous.
John Rossall simply supplants the original song with the word Christmas. “Christmas Twist” looks like something i got last year.
Cleanse your palate with some tasty bluesy Charlie Starr: “Christmas Twist” is slight and unassuming, but true rock ‘n’ roll.
Dance music today is not the dance music of the twist, but if we twist ’em up together we get a party. Follow the Dino Martinis with their “Twistmas.” Yeah, baby boomer, yeah!
From the movie ‘Twist Around the Clock’ the Marcels lip sync their seminal “Merry Twist-mas.” Yeah, boy. Now it’s happening.
MOR (middle of the road) rock is that symphonic pap you hear in the elevators. Why would you do that to the Beatles… oh, actually they did sound like that.
B’way has killed the musical genre, making most cool tunes sound the same. The cast of “The Drowsy Chaperone” mash sax and ‘ba-doo-wa’ out of doo wop goodness and into harmonious building, building, climax with “Rockin’ Christmas Angel.” Wipe your mouth.
Sha Na Na resuscitated rock for a nostalgic craze in the ’70s which left the door open for all manner of retread revisioning nonsense. Exhibit A: The Hollydays counting their paces through “Christmas Rock ‘N’ Roll.” It’s nostalgic like the Red Scare is nostalgic.
Kid music also has done what it could to ruin rock. The Wiggles desperately want you to sing along with their redundant mundane “Rockin‘ Santa.” Poor sound quality, too many long ‘o’s, nonsense.
Cutting out the (101 Strings) middleman, Bradley Gillis goes for the older crowd with his 1980s styled “Santa is Rocking.” If the band Chicago is rocking, so is this.
It’s our day of thrash. Rock has grown up but never quit rebelling.
Garage rock has an axe to grind, Santa’s Little Rockerz recall mojo nixon with their rockabilly meets monotonous noise release “Rockin’ with Rudolph.” That boogie woogie piano is monster, but their spirit is pretty pissed off.
More garage, The Fleshtones chant “Super Rock Santa.” Harder to dance to, impossible not to pogo to.
Light metal might be a descriptor for Firing Blanks with their “Rockin’ at Christmas.” This has the hallmarks of rage, but won’t break the lease. Pretty, pretty, pretty.
Also lightened up, Iron Maiden metal up a previous mention (Gary Glitter’s) “Another Rock and Roll Christmas.” Yeah, i guess we didn’t need to go there.
Smudging up the Elton John singsong “Step into Christmas” The Business make punk work out of nonsense. Hats off, chaps.
The Degraders fill my list with “Christmas Twist” (to which i could not in fact dance the twist). All the major garage and metal vitamins are here, kids.
CDM Chartbreakers mock and honor punk with “Rockin’ Little Christmas” an eandearinglittle ditty you just might walk across the room to.
Rock also stems from country, boogie woogie comes from swing and blues after all. But country has tried to reclaim rock with varying degrees of success.
To clue you in, Cordell Jackson beats the hound dog with “Rock ‘N’ Roll Christmas,” an almost hillbilly country styling of swing. It’s class revolt, so take a step back and revere rock heritage.
Some down home chet atkins pickin’ canevoke rockabilly, but i hear old school country in “Rockin’ Boppin’ Christmas” by Mississippi Queen. Don’t be a square, bubba.
Brooks & Dunn are at their best with “Rockin’ Little Christmas” but is it rock? Nice beat… can dance to it… uh, no.
On the other boot let’s admit, we dig the trailer trash joy of some of that country. So let’s pause for the claus: Trailer Choir country rock “Rockin’ the Beer Gut“–one of those songs that’s funny but still kind of touching. Good old boys.
Overplaying the country (despite the saxophone) Knightsbridge keeps “Rockin’ Little Christmas” little. It’s a dance for two.
Honky tonk plays well into the rock. Christian Serpas & Ghost Town team up for a “Rockin’ ol’ Christmas.” And i believe this would call for a repeat on the jukebox.
Country style rock (a la The Dead, Allman Bros.) mellows the beat with apt guitarification. Twangy singing and–here–zydeco accordian (!) really string it out. “Rock ‘n’ Rolling Santa” by Swamp Doctor and Margherita, cher, doncha know.
