“War Toys for Christmas” by Roy Zimmerman (the originator of the song). Poppy folk irony.
“A Christmas Cat Song” by JibJab worries about the exact right gift for Jesus. Singsong folk.
“Swiss Colony Beef Log” (a FUNDRAISER cover) by Brandi Bigley. The South Park Christmas classic showtune revisited.
Familiar, but unsung here, Chris Farren beats hard on “Christmas Guitar.”Garage whining ‘cuz he busted the old guitar. Good luck, chuck.
Try one more new post from Joe Quesada and Idlechatters: “Ultimate Comic Gift.” Rock’n’roll with Elvis impersonation included. (Collectors note the ridiculous lengths comics go to reissue.)
Of all the great Santa-brought-gifts songs, the funniest can cut to the big reveal–it’s Dad!
Or some truckers… “Christmas Gift Convoy” from The Hot Rolls is country done road. Toot toot.
Simply questioning “The Christmas Delivery System” Nat James comically addresses his problems to the folk song syndicate to solve this magic trick. Danceable.
Brian O’Sullivan goes BLUE with the lively folk number “Santa Song.” Kids, look away!
My favorite is Nick Helm from a couple years ago “There Ain’t No Fuckin’ Santa Claus.” Brit hard rock.
Weird songs don’t scare me. But i do worry i won’t categorize them correctly for you, the viewer. But here are songs I THINK sing about the gift of you/love for the holidays.
“Christmas Gift” by Mick Keogh (feat. Nicola Creighton) is Asian influence pop with sped up vocals and nonsense lyrics. It must be love.
Love love love Chris Farren’s folk Brit rock “Like a Gift from God or Whatever.” Not particularly religious, but hella fun. And i detect a loving feeling.
Friends of Sound minimally deliver the message about your worth vis a vis presents in the dance-electronic pop number “I Don’t Want Presents.” I don’t want to stop the beat.
Commercial 1970s pop from Mifflin Lowe from a concept kids album follows Wilton Wilberry and his quest for the best Christmas present. Well, as you should have learned by now, “My Very Best Present is You.”
Cool cool cool doo wop from Jimmy Beaumont and The Skyliners, “You’re My Christmas Present” is that 1957 early RnR gem you need to play for her.
Retro rock from The Four Corners beckons you to dance with me, ‘cuz “My Gift to You (It’s Me).” Cut that rug, slice that carpet, shred that floormat.
Girls just want to have boys for their presents, according to professionally recorded, mega-produced, nearly listenable songs like these.
Doris Day wants presents, but you honey are the loveliest “Christmas Present” of them all. If you’d just come home. Uh, Doris… if he’s not present, he’s not a present. Helen Welch bosa novas this one for your groovy bachelor pad party. Swingin’ codependency!
Kacey Musgroves is lonely without you here. Without you she’s like a “Present without a Bow.” (I think she means she‘s without a beau [It is to laugh!].) Country bubblegum.
Dr. BLT switches the beat with electronica-hiphop a la “Christmas Shopping for Love.” I love the down and dirty sentiment, but how do you box up this abstraction, girl?
The Chicks (a 1960s Swedish girl rock group) (i guess) think you are the best “Christmas Present.” And they keep to the beat. Believe it.
Bob Wire with Chip Whitson want to celebrate the buying season with a rockabilly “Credit Card Christmas.” Fun with dads!
Prog rock from Natalie Pfeiffer seems to be some home grown talent from a decade or two ago. Still “Credit Card Christmas” has few regrets, so don’t worry, be hapless.
Just as retro comes Scottland with “Credit Card Christmas (It’s Gonna be).” This ’60s soft rocker invites us to singalong to bitch.
I’m coming around to the idea that some of these Christmas Tree entitled songs are jumping on the log truck bandwagon and have nothing to do with celebrating the holidays after all.
Or i can’t tell what the sap they’re talking about.
But i like the songs.
Mattie D’s “Christmas Tree” overwhelms us with percussive urgency.
Mike Red & Rai P sample off the ‘Home Alone’ movies. “Christmas Trees” lays the angry rhymes down. BLUE ALERT
Word jazz accompanied by experimental jazz (it almost tells a story…) “Black Christmas Tree” somehow from Midget Handjob. Enter at your own risk.
“Christmas Tree” from Romantic Beats may be trying to trick us, but the angelic distortion of pop music lulls me to confused submission. Ahhh.
Under the Bodhi Tree torture their “Pink Christmas Tree” with grinding club rock. But what in the dickens is it?
Does anyone sing along with metal? Twitch’s “Christmas Tree” has an angry punk message (i think) but mostly keeps time (to me). You try it.
Ditto for amped punk. EXTREME BLUE ALERT “Christmas Tree Farms” by way of Snag spews vitriol, and i guess some December framework.
180! Light gentle jazz pop from The Pearlfishers intoning some Rod McKuen-style poetic sloppiness with “A Christmas Tree in a Hurricane.” Like a musical intro for a ’80s sitcom.
Also tender, Borderline Beauty (which seems to associate the growth with peace) cries out for “Christmas Tree Without an Oh.” Folk rock on a mission to change the world through poetry.
Guy Capecelatro III has a concept album (Abandoned Christmas Trees) about existential angst which ticks off the Christmas boxes. “Chainsaw” is a folk charmer about failures. “Tinsel” bemoans our futility with experimental rock. Now go take drugs.
When the lyrics talk about losing all friends, i think i know the category for the song, but Vengaboys are so party-strange with Uncle John dying and reggae-disco beats… i give up. “Where did My Christmas Tree Go?” is for you to figure out.
Short and sweet Laura Watling’s “Christmas Trees in July” pop tinkles across the dance floor.
Jumping Through Fiery Hoops also coopts our topic oddly. “Working on a Christmas Tree Farm” is psychedelia with a folk bent and flashfast imagery to corrupt your status quo. Whoa.
I’ve listened to “Christmas Tree” by Bewitched Hands on Top of Our Heads several times and i know it’s about something, but i don’t care. Chorale rock. Art qua art, dudes.
Now that we’ve had our fill, how do we go about defoliating the Christmas scene?
Sandy n Steve don’t see eye to eye on the majestic pine in their house. Sandy says yea! Steve says “I’m Taking Down the Christmas Tree Now!” Show tune without much exclamation point.
Simply knock it over? Drew Carey’s ‘Whose Line is It Anyway?’ take the Irish Drinking song bit to the “Knocked Over the Christmas Tree” arena. Improv… it’s funny ‘cuz… elephant pants!
It could be an untimely accident, too. “Santa Knocked over the Christmas Tree” is that wordy Roger Miller country that we need more of from David Norris. Presents and a show!
“Tipping over the Christmas Tree” is the jazz swing we need to capture our mood: drunkenness and ennui. Big ups to Beatnik Turtle for the perfect sound for AFTER the season.
Small arms play a part in the un-decorating of John Flynn’s Christmas tree from the “Christmas Balls.” Growling folk that rocks.
Drinking and Christmas trees also spell doom for “Christmas Balls” according to Holy Moly. Punk ‘billy.
Give the kids a turn! Tommy Mulaney’s kids keep “Breaking Christmas Balls.” Oh, wait, this jazzy pop blues is about what a pain those needy offspring are… Ballbreakers!
Assemble the conga line! Carter Conlin and some church kids investigate “Who Put Their Finger Through the Ornament?” with Cuban orchestrated kidsong. (Fret not, Jesus saves the day.)
Farting all the ornaments off is the job of Stinky Ninja against “Three Stinky Christmas Trees.” This cockney toddler nails the kidsong without self indulgent whimsey.
Hey, that gas is flammable. “Burn Down the Christmas Tree” is a pyro’s prize for the holidays. Slick country fun from Abbie Gardner. And she means it.
Even more fun is the polka rock from Piedmont Songbag “Burning the Christmas Tree.” It’s like druidic partying married to Christian solemnity. Hey!
Hey this is easy when the “Christmas Tree’s on Fire.” Holly Golightly uses experimental folk to bring down the house.
Tom Heinl celebrates while trying to put out “The Christmas Tree on Fire” (with a tube sock). Comedy country with one of those tiny toy pianos–segue to church organ & sirens. Good song.
The Lickity-Splits mean love when they screech “You Set My Christmas Tree on Fire.” Raging garage classic rock.
Cledus T. Judd cashes in on his parody “Tree’s on Fire.” It’s no ‘Ring of Fire,’ it’s funnier.
Cowboy saga music accompanies the legend of Chaston and Groditski’s “We Burned the Christmas Tree.” It’s like a family tradition on acid.
An original, but disturbing method of de-treeing the house comes by way of calliope music from Nicci & The Project. “Santa was Eating the Christmas Tree” turns out to be a dream after all. (Still need therapy.)
How do Christmas trees leave? One children’s song imagines the “Christmas Tree Tango” as an exiting number. Pretty, and pretty messed up.
So now IT’S GONE! Little Willie John and the Three Lads and a Lass bemoan the empty spot from 1953 with “Mommy, What Happened to Our Christmas Tree?” (It was the commies, Will.)
Yeah, yeah yeah. You want presents under the tree. Could you be more specific?
Inca Jones (as i’ve blogged) gets melted with he finds “LSD Under My Christmas Tree.” Don’t expect coherence from this electronica.
Here’s something you may not want: Beefus plays the blues (isn’t that trombone funny?) on “STDs Under the Christmas Tree.” They’re waiting for you.
Specifically, Brysi the Machinima Guy wants “Master Chief Under My Christmas Tree.” Pop culture begets fanfic and filksinging and other vaguely naughty-sounding made up words.The videogame Halo‘s protagonist has give unto us this folk number. Get on it.
Silent Stranger hard rocks (of course) “Guitar Beneath the Tree.” A tender tale of youth and obsessive thrashing.
Even better, John Jorgenson and Carlene Carter rock out a letter to Santa and the resulting “A ’55 Telecaster Under My Christmas Tree.” Okay, country rock, but still burning up the tinsel.
Tree up? How else will Santa know where to direct the presents? Xmas tree marks the spot, little dudes!
This is such an essential concept it’s in every language! Well, at least two. Humberto Almaraz (with the kids) bi-lings the corrido “Santa will Love My Christmas Tree.” I guess that’s happy?
Gentle jazz-grass from Rough Shop catches “The Big Man Under the Tree” in the act. But–is that Santa? You might wanna get some ID, kid.
The Oak Ridge Boys sing about the boy waiting “Beneath the Christmas Tree” for Santa. But, in their own country/western way, it’s really Jesus. Sorry for the spoiler.
Keith Whittal and Friends also aim our attention “All Around the Christmas Tree” to spot the toy bringer. Stay awake, kids! Country pickin’.
Riddim from Kool: “My Christmas Tree” is to Santa like ganja to a Bob Marley fan. Dance off!
Just for chuckles Calvin Bremer parodies ‘The Hanging Tree’ from the Mockingjay movies with “The Christmas Tree“… waiting… waiting… waiting for Santa. Ha!
1959: Marguerite Trina shakes it down with the bluesy R+B rock of “The Rocking Tree,” beseeching that fat man for just the right greenery, daddi-o.
